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I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

i’m sorry for posting a lot but i’m relapsing again and it’s hitting hard this time. It feels so real the thoughts feel like they are becoming mine and I thought i was doing better but no Im not because im suffering again. I feel like this time i can’t ignore them if i do they will be my thoughts. i will become who i fear becoming. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to live like this. i’ve never been more suicidal then when this last ocd relapse hit. this is the 3rd month im going through this theme and it’s relentless and painful and attacks every.little.thing. i doubt everything. i’m sorry for posting so much but. i’m afraid i can’t keep on moving. my heart is tired and beat up and broken and my mind is against me so how can I trust it? idk i don’t want this. it feels so real.

I was just diagnosed with severe ocd. I had no idea I just thought my adhd or cptsd was to blame for my weird thinking and how it'd seem to be stuck in my head uncontrollably. And now I'm struggling with acceptance that I have ocd. Like I'm happy I know so I can begin treating but I'm also so worried because I've been like this for as long as I can remember... And it's been all wrong? I feel so alone sometimes

I woke up extremely sad today, sad that I have to live this struggle on a daily basis, having to deal with bad thoughts telling me that I'm a bad person and that I'll never deserve good things. I don't even want to get out of bed, everything hurts. Will I ever have a normal life? Like, will I be able to trust my memories without imagining so many bad possibilities? I know there's a treatment, but so many bad things have happened in my life that I don't know if I can handle so much anxiety.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

How much can the mind take? With this soocd/ doubt feeling is so real at this point. I’m scared because I’m weak, I’m really trying to enjoy life but now I try to imagine dating again. & my mind is just like no. Your ocd will ruin it, loved women my whole life and but in my core I don’t want to be gay. It feels real and I can’t take it, I have no anxiety anymore. I’m just numb, the thought of dating scares me now. Being sober from alcohol makes it worse too, in high alert and just tired overall. I hope my attraction to women comes back. I pray this nightmare turns around one day, I’m tired. I pray we live life the way we want, goodluck to everyone on here struggling.🙏🏼

Hi I'm cassi, and I am pretty new to this, and I have been reading all of your stories and shares, and I was hoping this might help me in some way. So I have always been extremely close with my mom, I am 26 and I love our relationship, she is the best mom, but lately I've been having intrusive thoughts and anxiety about how much I rely on her, and what will happen the day she passes, I know thats a long time from now, but all I can think of is what if I have a mental breakdown? What if I can't survive without her in my life? And she knows all of this, she is the main person in my life that I take to about these things with. I was just curious if this has crossed anyone else's mind. I hope everyone is having a good day!

so i cant seek reassurance and i cant confess. so what. i bottle it all up until i burst into a million little pieces??

During school, I went with my friends to get food but there wasnt enough room in the car so my friend offered their lap to sit on. I said yes and went to sit on her lap but there wasn’t enough room vertically for my head so i ended up laying down across the people in the back seat. I made sure my head and butt were on my female friends but there was a guy sitting in the middle so i arched my back a bit so it wouldn’t touch him. i felt really uncomfortable the whole time but there wasn’t anything i could do because we already started driving. I made sure he didnt touch me and i didnt touch him but i feel really guilty and i dont know what to do. I dont know if i should tell my partner or not. My friend that offered me her lap was trying to console me saying that its okay and that i didnt touch him and she made sure that he didnt touch me but still. please help

Now i know i need to accept when i feel anxiety or fear, ive been avoiding it or pushing it away.l, cause im afraid ir will take me and to be honest i cant really deal with fear. I noticed when i feel it a I say its okay, im feeling this but theres no danger and by this i pushing it away. But when theres is signs of an aczual danger i ho crazy. I try to push away the fear but it says that "there is a sign, we are in danger, are you crazy?" Ane i keep spinning. I heard alot about accepting thatbwe feel anxiety or fear but thats always makes me accept that theres a danger. Cause im accepting what i feeling but then my mind wants to know if theres a danger and im spinning over that, then i feel like i need to avoid it cause i cant handle... or if i say theres might be a danger or there is i go crazy... then i start to have the selfharm automative thoughts and in the panic i cant see that its ocd, im trying to say it but i feel like im lying, then everything feels true... i cant accept that i feel anxiety but its not a danger but even this you can see i start to rumminate over "okay i feel this but is there a problem? Yeah is see this this is a problem, im avoiding, i have to do something about it quickly, then i try to stop to not act based of fear but i feel bad cause im avoiding. I cant see the reality when i feel panic or afraid, even trying to see reality becomes compulsive. What im dealing with now is that i get hit by anxiety, i accept it and i get a feeling that but theres no fear and i get hit by this toxic good feeling like i avoided a danger and i dont like it cause that feeds the fear

About 2 years ago when my daughter was younger she would get scared at night sometimes and come sleep with me. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy!” So I briefly woke up and said “sorry mama” and moved over and fell back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I thought nothing of it at first figuring I probably just rolled over on her but then my ocd kicked in making me believe I must have done something horrible to her and it has bothered me so badly ever since. While I know people without ocd wouldn’t think anything of it, I have been questioning myself and feeling so depressed ever since. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

I'm having such a hard time dealing with a false memory, it kills me to know that I'm not going to get the details of this memory. My aunt tries to calm me down by telling me that I didn't do anything bad to my little cousin, but I can't stay okay for long. The fact that this memory occurred on a day when we were just starting to wake up makes it worse, because immediately the thought comes that my aunt might not have been fully awake at the time to confirm anything, plus it's practically impossible to ask my little cousin to remember anything either. But all of this is frustrating because I have a memory of waking up and just lying there thinking about random things, apart from the fact that my cousin never changed with me, he never acted as if I represented some kind of danger. And one thing that also confronts all these bad thoughts is that at that time I already knew I had OCD, I always remember what they say about people with OCD never doing what the intrusive thoughts say they are capable of, and at that time I was scared to death just thinking about something bad, like, I didn't even want to think about it, how would I have the courage to do it? And on top of all that, I remember the memory I have of just lying there thinking about random things, why doesn't my mind trust that? Why does it keep coming up with horrible details that make no sense? Like, before I discovered OCD I never behaved like that, I never wanted to hurt anyone, why doesn't my mind just focus on that? I know they're traps, but this idea that I'm a bad person is desperate, it makes me think that I'm not worthy of living, that I don't deserve good things and that I'm deceiving everyone and myself. I don't know how to get out of this cycle, sometimes I'm okay but it always comes back, it's like something saying "No matter how much you run away, you've done something bad and you're not as good a person as you try to tell everyone" or something like "The only way to get rid of this is to have all the details and you'll never have them". It's just scary, I have no words, it's scary and suffocating. How can I live with it?

sometimes when I read all these posts I just start crying 😭😭 I hate that we are all suffering like this… ocd is not for the weak and its so frustrating 😭 Im really tired honestly… my ocd has its good and bad days but im just exhausted by all of it. I cant enjoy simple things because my ocd has to overcomplicate every little thing and create these “signs” as to what I am and what I am not. Ive had ocd for over a year now im a just upset 😭😭😭 I dont want to live like this forever… I have a lot of people who say, “you can talk to me if you want” and its really sweet 💓 but I dont think anyone can understand what I am feeling because even I cant… I dont know what im doing- how im feeling- who I am- or even what my values are 😭 ocd just makes me question everything. I am a 14 year old girl 😭😭😭 how am I supposed to know what to do? Ive talked mom about my ocd a few times and she tries to help but she doesn’t even understand 1/5th of what I go through daily. I appreciate her caring even if its a little but I just want some help 😭😭 I am a bit scared of therapy though. But im willing to try but im not sure if my mom will let me… Ocd just makes me feel so unlovable. I hate it.

My OCD is getting really exhausting, it makes me take double the amount of time in almost everything. I really don’t want it to be part of my life. I have had OCD for as long as I can remember, and mine goes through phases where some months it’s less things to do, but for the last few months it has been crazy. I have intrusive thoughts and bad anxiety, if I don’t stick to my routine or do things a certain number of times my brain involves it with something bad is going to happen, and if it doesn’t feel perfect to me I have to do it again. It is just getting so annoying at this point and I need to learn how to always stay at a low amount of OCD, because I know that it will never fully go away but I want to get it down as much as possible.

i think doing erp is making my obsessive thoughts worse. i feel like im ruminating more and triggering myself in my sessions. is this something other people have experienced?? does this mean erp isnt for me?? someone please help me )-:

so before this mess when i knew who i was i was very sensitive and emotional and compassionate. and i feel like somewhere in me i still am. i still cry when i feel bad for someone. i still try to be as best as i can to others. but these thoughts make me question everything and it feels so real. “what if emotions aren’t real?” “what if you don’t even need to be kind to others?” “you are being delusional and you don’t need compassion.” “good and bad aren’t even real” “that’s not bad everybody is brainwashed to think it is.” i’m so tired. i cannot feel, i cannot be in pain from my ocd because they just tell me that im stressing for no reason and that these thoughts are the truth. but i don’t want to believe them. so what do i do? i need to prove them wrong. i need to prove that i am still me and that i am human. idk im losing it, im losing everything that was important to me. i feel like there is no hope. i hate my life

I fear that my ocd will cause psychosis or that it already has..

I really can’t deal with this anymore I question everything about myself every second of everyday. The I intrusive thoughts never stop and they make me feel like such a terrible person. I really don’t know what to do I’m scared to talk to a therapist or anyone because I feel like people will think I’m crazy. Is there any medicine I can take that may make me feel normal again that really all I want is to be happy and feel normal again

Not even for a minute. This Is exhausting. I'm trying to say ok maybe you are or you are not, Who knows, but I Just can't stop thinking and trying to solve this.

hi everyone, really need some advice if possible!! me and my boyfriend have been going through a rough patch. we’ve both realized that we really are complete opposites. he’s an extrovert, i’m an introvert, he has an avoidant attachment style and i have the anxious attachment style. scary, right!! anyways we’ve both been talking through how we’re going to work through it these past two weeks because we both genuinely feel we can make this work. i’ve been in therapy and he’s going to start therapy and we’ve honestly just made progress. and i was FINALLY feeling a relief of anxiety through this and he told me yesterday how he’s scared i won’t be able to adjust or enjoy his extroverted activities. i reassured him im willing to try but just him having anxiety and small doubts gives me the worst anxiety!! i feel confident we will make this work and find middle grounds to everything like we have before but i don’t really do too much of his interest and he’s scared i won’t like them or he’ll find difficulty being okay with my adjustments right away. he said he’s also confident in us but he also has anxiety about this whole thing. we’ve been dating for two years now and i really want this relationship to work but my rocd keeps telling me to leave now and not try out this new lifestyle. that this is too scary to even go through. that he’ll leave me because i’m not “perfect” or “enough” for him even though he’s reassured me. i keep wanting to budge and keep asking for reassurance even though i’ve asked a bjillion times. any advice on how to get through this scary times? we’re both scared of change and we both know we’re capable of it but i’m scared this won’t work out so my ocd is telling me to leave now so i can be stress free. to leave now because it’s never going to work ever and why try but i don’t want that. i don’t want my thoughts to control actions that i don’t even know are true since i haven’t even tried this new change in our relationship