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So- I had glasses before and I just got a new prescription- my eye power increased by like .5 which is not that serious but still I needed new glasses- but I have had these new glasses for like 3 days and on the first day I faced some eyestrain but its not there anymore- but I feel like im convincing myself that it is the wrong eye power and I feel like im exaggerating the wonkiness of the glasses 😭 bc there is an adjustment period with new glasses but I dont know- what if its the wrong prescription and i have to get new ones and i dont have time bc school starts in 12 days and i need my new glasses before but if its the wrong one i will actually explode- AND WHDJSJSKSKAKKZKS what if im going blind 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 no but seriously I keep convincing myself that this is the wrong eye power even though I can see clearly- but idk in my head im like “its wonky” “it looks wonky” “you cant see” “you need new glasses” “youre going blind” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

As the title states, my intrusive thought of "being in a dream" when I'm conscious is horrible tonight. Constant need of reassurance, trying to find any distraction. I can't get this thought out of my head no matter what I do. It's on the top of my thinking list 24/7 no matter what I try. Im feeling bad derealization and it makes me want to wish I didn't exist..I was fine before my panic attack from an ocular migraine (losing my eyesight is my biggest fear)...but now I'm not living...I'm just surviving...I'm very depressed...I haven't eaten today and had to remind myself to take a shower, brush my teeth, and drink water. I have a therapy session on here tomorrow...I'm praying so hard that I get answers and ways to get rid of this stupid thought that appeared out of nowhere....

I tend to really obsess over stuff that irritates me. Or is hard to accept. Like I obsessively want to correct anything people say annoys me. Anyone else?

The other day I was with my mom and I had these intense urge to do this horrible thought, and a knife was in the table and I grabbed it but I grabbed it knowing that I know I was not capable of doing it and I put in the sink, I had to grab it in order for me to stop the “urge” that I was having. I love this women with all my life she’s been my inspiration to keep going forward, but ocd is telling me that I grabbed the knife because I actually wanted to do it. I don’t know if what I did was ok or not, or if I’m actually dangerous.

I tell people my situation, they say it's nothing big or it's fine, I was a teenager. I still feel awful, magically thinking that the persons going to change their mind and expose me to the world that I'm an awful person even though they said I had no affect on them whatsoever. I feel guilty to admit I've shared it with numerous people, whether a little older or the same age, never younger because I feel uncomfortable talking to younger people. Still, everyone says I did nothing wrong and there's nothing to worry about, but I'm more concerned about the fact I feel like I truly did something horrible, I feel like what if someone's enabling my actions, even though they say they're being honest. I feel awful, and I know I have to sit with discomfort and all that bad stuff, but truly I feel disgusting. I've isolated myself for weeks, and I just don't want to hurt the other person, it's made me question my own intentions too. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like my mistakes are worse than anyone else on this app or in the world.

I confess so many horrible intrusive thoughts to my partner about his height the way he looks other people etc for so many years and now I feel so numb I’m so tired of all these thoughts now they feel real I don’t even know what to say to my boyfriend when he asks if I want to be with someone else because my ocd has become so believable that I feel like I’m supposed to break up with him I feel so sad I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 years and I just don’t even know how to navigate this

does anyone sometimes feel like you think and overthink too much to the point that you actually star believing that it’s true and maybe you’re just in denial? my mind actually convinces me that i have a crush on someone and it really does feel real even though i still feel deep down that something’s wrong. like I know it’s ocd but it feels so real it’s exhausting

Often times my OCD will convince me that my entire personality is a lie and that i’ve actually just created it in a long scheme of manipulation to get people to like me and that in reality im a horrible person. It’s really stressful and im not sure how to negate it. I’ve tried talking to my therapist about it and she tried to combat these thoughts by retelling her observations of my behavior and how my friends view me but then i think, hmm what if all that i’ve shown them is a lie in order to produce this response of “oh, of course you’re a good person”! I’m afraid that there is this deep evil part of me lurking beneath a facade that i’ve created even though ive never put that sort of thought into who i am at any point in my life (making it to be a facade, that is) it’s not my most reoccurring intrusive thought, but certainly a stressful one.

I don’t know why my brain keeps targeting you but it is and it’s pissing me off, I hate how my head goes like oh did they bleed or enjoyed it or why didn’t they and I know full well why they didn’t and it just pisses me off because I don’t want these fucking thoughts anyone!- Or ask these questions. Oh did you cry?- Or the fact that more stuff pop into my head and me just imagining what happened is stuck in my mind and one of my thoughts- I don’t want to say sexualised- More like it popped up- About a baby!- I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL!- I know it’s wrong!- I can’t even look at any other porn and my head keeps saying that I like my mom romantically and not platonically!- LIKE WHY ME?!— IT JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO SEE THE DOCTERS SO I CAN STOP SUFFERING WITH THESE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES, I FEEL LIKE I VICTEM BLAME THEM AS WELL, MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE THAT WHEN I KNOW IT WASNT THEIR FUCKING FAULT!— AND IM SO SORRY.

Does anyone else feel that because of their OCD they are easier to gaslight? Especially when someone says something defamatory about you and you know that it isnt true, youre still able to find a way to gaslight yourself into believing youve done something or acted in a way thats deplorable?

Bad week at work continues. Thoughts won't stop high anxiety. My thoughts then are just quit and I get so upset and anxious and picture everything I'll lose

So recently after a big obsession with so much anxiety and rumination it seems that I'm not giving a big reaction towards my intrusive thoughts and it seems there coming in less and then they usually come by and I don't give a reaction sometimes and I worry why didn't or why don't I have a reaction towards the intrusive thoughts what if there not intrusive then I start to worry but then I would just say oh this is ocd messing with me but thn I get the classic what if it's not ocd and it's you you like your thoughts you want to be xyz and I start to freak out why am i like this not giving a reaction it's soo annoying because I don't want to be/do my thoughts but then there's that are you sure thought and feeling that bother me sooo much I need help

Could I just be a **** with strong morals? This afternoon I read the news abt a **** doing something horrible, and I wondered how could he do such thing, and how could someone develope a liking to the very thing that triggers me. How does that happen? I know I would never such thing, but what if I'm secretely attracted? I could be a non offending ****. I had to test if attraction could happen. I picked up a very triggering memory from last month that has been recently reappearing in my mind these past days, triggering me each time and putting me in bed all day without eating anything, feeling distressed and miserable. In that memory there is a young girl, that has legs exposed, and they trigger me a lot. I wanted to know if I was attracted, and I compulsively stared at it, and I didn't get any answers, I only felt more triggered and wondered if what I was feeling was actually attraction, was that weird feeling me liking the legs? Yesterday I had a revelation: what simply bothers you, just bothers you, there is no secret attraction, everything else is overthinking. That's it, it bothers you, it doesn't mean something else, but you misinterpret it for something else, which is "coincidentally" what you fear the most. It makes sense, all the time i was deeply disturbed, distressed, tortured myself with ruminations, to the point that i stayed in bed all day, self harmed, smoked an unhealthy number of cigarettes etc. are a testament to that. But these beliefs have been shattered when I tried to test for attraction. I pictured that triggering image of the girl from memory, and instead of just checking for attraction, I tried to see what would happen if I forced myself to liking it. And I'm afraid it kind of worked, and, at the same time I was trying to force attraction an involuntary smile slowly formed. I got very scared, it lasted an instant, and I went back to my usual self, distressed and bothered by what happened, what it meant. This is very concerning. It could be just false thoughts, false fabricated induced feelings, but it felt very very real, indistinguishable from reality. It felt like a glimpse at a possible reality where I was actually attracted. Maybe I was for that second. Maybe attraction is simply voluntary, and if I decide to become attracted by something that becomes real. Or maybe I was a monster all along. I don't know. I'm very scared. What did just happen? Why did that happen? I can't explain it. Are we what we think? So if I believe that I like it, will that become true? It's very scary. Are simply morals preventing me from being a monster, and maybe I'm not a monster, but that "thing" is something that always exists, and it means I could easily allow it to become the truth? The thing is that, whenever I had those triggering episodes in the past and I ruminated hours to understand if I was attracted, I knew that I was always felt uncomfortable, distressed, triggered, but I never tried to see if there was something else hiding underneath all those things. There was something very strong blocking myself from doing that, I think it was fear. I always checked for attraction, but I never tested it directly, I never tried to force myself to be attracted, to tell myself "you like it" and to see what would happen in fear that it would be the truth. It felt so easy to go "there" in my mind, and I'm so afraid that I might have crossed the line between being bothered and liking it. I feel like more than forcing myself to be attracted, another word could be allowing myself to be attracted to remove the barrier that I self-imposed myself, and see what happened. And I don't know if I felt attraction, it could be very false. But also very real. I'm afraid that all this time my morals are the only thing stopping me from aknowledging that maybe I'm secretely attracted. I can't tolerate this. If this is true, and not a distortion of OCD, if I truly am a monster in denial, I don't want to keep on living. Please someone tell me what actually happened, because I don't know. I need to believe, to know that what I felt was false, that it was OCD, that those feelings were fabricated, emulated, copied, but not true, that they were egodystonic. Help.

I have trouble disengaging with my intrusive thoughts because when I say something positive in response to some disparaging comment it made or disengage it will get louder; more aggressive and sometimes even screams at me. So I’ve usually resorted to actually fighting the intrusive thoughts, but I realise that this isn’t helping & I feel like my thoughts have made me a bitch to people lately because my patience has just been spent on that thing and I’m just tired. I’ve come to conclusion last night that fighting the thoughts isn’t going to help but rather disengaging. The best analogy I’ve used is that it acts like a kid having a fit when it doesn’t get its own way and to just ignore it. But surely, I can’t be the only one whose intrusive thoughts have temper tantrums?

What if I am what my OCD says? What if I am deep down a horrible monster and my ocd has been right all along and I’ve just been trying to fight it and deny that I am what it says?

Been going through a huge spike recently. I saw a post by an influencer I follow that also has OCD speaking about her experience telling people her thoughts and how living in secrecy isn’t the best. It sent me down a spiral after seeing it and all I could think about was telling people every intrusive thought I’ve ever had. I’ve been experiencing intrusive images, urges, scenarios, you name it, etc. The people in my life know I suffer from OCD, and I told my bestfriend my OCD mainly shows up as disturbing sexual thoughts in my brain. But somehow that wasn’t enough, and my overthinking hasn’t gone away. Has anyone else experienced this? And if so, how do you cope with it? Really needing some support from the OCD community right now, I hope everyone is having a great day!

i have a nightly routine that i do, almost every single night. I wash my hands three times, and i have to put lotion on my hands before i touch anything or i’ll end up having to do it again and again until i don’t feel dirty. i have to fix my bed i can’t leave it messy. i have to close the door three times then leave, well technically four but my brain doesn’t count the fourth one. i have to check in another room, scan it, then close the door. then i walk into my bedroom where i have to take four sips of water from my water bottle. i have drink some normally first, then i go in with the four sips, but the fourth sip is a long one and i HAVE to do it right or else i’ll start all over again. i’m in therapy, and i have broken some of these habits, but there’s still some that still cloud me. i still have to wash hands, not three times, just once and put lotion on it. still close the door three, technically four times, still scan another room, still take my four sips of water. i have very bad, intrusive, intese thoughts that i wish i didn’t think. i don’t wanna type them. i can’t. but you probably know what i’m getting. yoh know, i’m just gonna say it, pedophilia. i know, i know. i can’t be thinking like this, and i wish i didn’t. i didn’t chose to think this. i want this to stop. i fight back my thoughts and do things to distract myself. like, doing unimaginable things to people, and i hate, i really, really do, i’m tearing just writing this. i don’t want to hurt people or gibe them pain. it’s not like me, at all. i remember the times where i didn’t think like this. where i was happy and didn’t think about hurting people. i just want to change. i want to be free from these thoughts. i wanna live my life without hurting others. i wanna heal from this. there’s something else i want to say but can’t wuite put my finger on it. if anyone out there has thought like this and overcome it, how’d you do it? what can i do to change? how do i stop these thoughts for coming? please, i’m really desperate, i don’t wanna be thinking like this and it’s not just that, if you have intrusive thoughts, you know what it’s like. i need help, something, to get rid of these thoughts and think normally. please, help, i’m desperate. does anyone else have suicidal thoughts? like, not wanna to kill yourself but to have something really bad happen and that would kill you? cause that’s how i think. i don’t wanna die but at the same time i do. i just don’t wanna take my own two hands just to commit. like something natural? i don’t know… how you guys distract from these thoughts? heal from them? as i said, i’m currently in therapy and my therapist is well aware that i’m suicidal. she helps a lot, there’s just a lot of things, i can’t talk to her anout right now. but if anyone out there, share your story, how did you heal from this? what are ways that i can help myself. thank you. is anyone else, out there, picking at their fingers and face. i know it’s apart of ocd and it’s called excoriation disorder and dermatillomania. i’ve been struggling with this for a very long time now, since i was a kid (i’m 16 turning 17 in february, also a girl :) my mom and sister don’t really understand what’s it’s like dealing with this. i’ve noticed that acrylic nails have helped a lot when it comes to picking my skin but unfortunately, i don’t really like or do my nails that often now and it’s a pain to take off. if anyone else has dealt with this before or is currently dealing with this: what do you do to help? what do you do to stop picking? what can i try? i know a couple things i could try is buying a figet or putting duct tape around all 10 of my fingers but that in itself is pretty difficult considering that my mom is usually the one that buys things for me and my sister. i’ll try to convice her, she mostly get whatever i need and what so i think it’ll be fine plus i’m using these things for a good cause. thank again, :) i have or had i don’t really know, some type of transgender phase, i’m not necessarily a dude. i don’t even like guys😭 i’m pretty sure i’m not cause i don’t feel like i am. maybe i’m more leaning towards genderfluid or nonbinary. but i don’t yet so she/her is fine for now. that phase was pretty embarrasing not gonna lie…. ehhh, i’ll eventu figure it out but honestly i feel more comfortable as a girl. maybe, i could go by she/they? ugh i don’t know, i feel like i should leave that there though it feels right. maybe different days i can chose different pronouns to feel more comfortable. is that even possible. ohhh nevermind i just search it up it’s literally called genderfluid LMAO. i did at one point have a panic attack over this i know, i know. i just got so overwhelmed and terrified at the fact of transitioning i didn’t like not one bit. i calm down a little bit after and went back to sleep. i don’t what the cause for that was, honestly. if you’ver experience something similar, tell me: what did you do to overcome it? did anyone experience something like this? i do still think anout here and there but not as often as before i never treally stopped and thinked about it but i don’t really want to. i think i’m more comfortable as a girl foe now. anyways, anyone who have gone through this, please let me know: what do you identify as? how did you come to terms with it? how did you feel when you realized? have you ever questioned yourself before? if you went through different phases, how did feel and what did you land with? thank you so much :D wow, that was a lot of thoughts, i’ve been thinking for a long time now. i’m glad to get it off my chest and get help for it too. i wanna be able to get better. i wanna be able to live my life and be incontrol again. i think i’ve been sitting here for the past 2 hours writing this. i feel a lot better telling this to people rather then pushing these feelings down and never see or come to terms with them again. it’s almost 2AM right now and i feel so much better just writing this all down and getting the help i need. if you’ve read this far, thank you, thank you so much. you clearly feel the same or similar to me and i really do hope we BOTH get better. we’ll heal and that takes time, it justs takes one step at a time. i hope someone could relate to me on one thing or maybe even all. of course, i wouldn’t wish ocd on anybody, it’s truly exhausting having your own brain being your own enemy. i really wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. i hope someone could help me and i’ll also be able to relate to someone or help someone with whatever they need. i know it feels like you’ve got knifes in your heart and brain , they’re not on the same level but eventually they will both heal and will give what our brain and heart needs. we’ll all heal together and it will take time. the process is slow but it’s worth it in the end❤️‍🩹

Im so depressed... and I feel alone... theres no hope... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... some people told me she sounds like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our ERP... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

Im crippling from the stress, the last two years of my life were dreadful to say the least but especially this year,was horrible, I'm 14 and haven't received continuous therapy sessions for it just two random sessions with two different therapists that diagnosed me with OCD,my ocd started as me being a cleaning freak to the point of insanity,I'd spent hours cleaning my enviroment (not in a normal healthy way), TW my defecation body parts where so messed up(to the point of bleeding and scarring)from cleaning them over and over again so harshly,and I still felt unclean most of the time,I would repeat my wudu(a process of rinsing certain body parts like the face and arms to prepare for prayer,Im Muslim), so many times I've missed the times of prayers for it.However, in the last year i started getting really agressive sexual intrusion photos and thoughts of either family members or friends and just people in general,it was terrible and they developed into sexual intrusive dreams of people i know creating this shame and making me spiral and go back to some sexual stuff i used to do as I was introduced to p0rn/sexual g0re from such a young age against my will and never recovered from the scarring thoughts, this has affected me deeply because in Islam in order to pray you have to be Tahir meaning you didn't have sexual intercourse or sexual thoughts or sexual dreams (i always have the latter two 😔)and if you did you have to perform and cleaning ritual of cleansing your entire body properly which is exhausting to me because I do it so many times in a day which is driving me again to a point of insanity I hate myself

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..