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the NOCD Community

I’ve been struggling a lot the last few days. My anxiety has been high, my OCD is trying to come back in, and I’ve been feeling sad. I’ve been crying a lot more than usual about missing my boyfriend and my parents when I’m not with them. The weather has been HORRIBLE the last couple weeks. It’s been really cold and icy, so I’ve been cooped up in the house and feeling really isolated. I’ve been working hard to process my emotions but it’s still hard. Anyone else going through something similar due to this winter weather?

Recently i’ve been feeling lonely. My bf moved away to finish his last semester of college, and i’ve been struggling to make friends at my college. I can make “in class friends” but it’s hard for me to further those relationships bc idk, i think i overthink asking people to hangout? i’m so afraid of rejection, and in my major everyone knows everyone so it feels like one wrong step and no one will like you. But because of that i don’t think i’m even taking a step. My childhood friends have dwindled down to three lovely people but they all live far away, so i’m desperately wanting to make friends i have common interests with and i can do stuff with, on a whim just bc we’re in the same city. I really don’t know what to do, and i don’t want to spend the other half of my college years cooped up in my apartment by myself. Any advice on how you’ve made friends and how to hangout with them is greatly appreciated 💜

It’s so hard to deal with the conflicting feelings that come up. It’s hard but sometimes I’m able I to feel love for my bf again and want to continue being with him, I enjoy our intimacy and the bond we share, but my mind keeps screaming at me that something’s wrong and I don’t want to be with him 😭 that I wouldn’t be happy with him in the future even though everytime we’re together I never want to leave or have it be over. Everytime I try to envision myself with a woman the fact that’s there’s no anxiety and feels calm to think about is so scary to the fact that I’m anxious when I think about a future w my bf and it feels like it’s not what I want:(

I’m having very bad anxiety/ocd about myself as a mom. I struggle with harm ocd but have gotten SO much better. But of course, it always finds a way to show up. I have a 3 year old and sometimes when he gives me a hug, I don’t get the “warm and fuzzies” and that’s bothering me so bad. I asked my husband if he does every time and he said yes. So now I’m really freaking anxious that it must mean I’m a bad mom or I don’t love my son because I don’t always feel that way when we hug. Now because I’m paying attention to that, when we hug.. I focus the whole time on if I feel it or not which then I feel like ruins it. I know all of this probably sounds silly. But I’m just bothered that I don’t feel that.

My husband and I have a sensitive relationship for the last two years and I’m in therapy for my ROCD. Tonight he was out with friends and was going to stay the night. and not texting me back soon enough and I got triggered thinking he was with someone else and wants to leave me. I was crying and screaming to myself. He eventually called and reassured me that he wasn’t with someone else. I’ve never had an episode this intense. Could therapy be making it worse ? And what are some ways to cope so we don’t have to involve our loved ones during episodes

I’m just curious if anyone has ever experienced this? Whenever I spend the weekend with my boyfriend the following day my anxiety is extremely heightened & I find myself over analysing everything from the time I spent with him. I feel very sad / anxious when I should be feeling happy which of course then adds further evidence to HOCD thoughts.

I have real bad anxiety, existential OCD, ROCD, disassociation. My therapist is starting it next session. Have any of you had it done? Does it help? Especially the ROCD??

I feel like mine isn't really thoughts anymore it's just rumination, doubts, anxiety and compulsive checking. But because I don't get intrusive thoughts anymore or as much I feel like I don't even have OCD and it's really triggering me making me feel like I'm actually bisexual or attracted to men. I'm losing attraction to women now as well I hate this

i keep having dreams about cheating on my boyfriend, but i love him so much and don’t see myself with anyone else. but it’s making me anxious and i feel guilty. could there be a specific reason for this?

My dumb ass has been reasurance seeking so much, researching, Reddit, quizes, gay Vs denial, bisexual Vs denial, and checking aesthetically good looking men and now nothing reassures me for long periods of time. It's ruining my relationship I'm losing attraction I have porn addiction too not compulsively checking but I do check alot of the time and it's also escalating onto things I wouldn't do in real life. My life feels ruined by this relapse because life was finally good I finally got a beautiful amazing girlfriend, went gym, got new clothing, haircut and was overall happy but just finding men handsome, liking their voice etc causes me alot of anxiety because it's not every so often it's a very common thing now and it makes me so upset not because being bi or gay is wrong but because I don't want sex with men it doesn't make me happy or excite me I wouldn't even do it for money. Women make me feel so good inside, excited, butterflies I just want to be married and spend my life with a beautiful women but with this shit I doubt everything I can't even have same sex friends out of fear that it'll be more than platonic. I wouldn't care if I was 10% bisexual and 90% straight because id always be straight over everything I love women even though they make me nervous my response has always been positive. I really REALLY need help I can't live like this I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm extremely depressed it's causing my girlfriend to become distant we don't do nothing sexually even though before this relapse I was craving it all the time cuz of how much I love her. How do I stop this anxiety and doubt? Why is there even anxiety around this? I'm confident enough to say I find men handsome but that's all it is? So why can't I figure this out? No matter how much research the next day I just find myself repeating it trying to solve the big question if I'm gay or not. Even though logically I'm attracted to women exclusively I may have done things growing up as curiosity but crushes have always been women, sexual fantasies always women, women have always made me excited I loved it even growing up I was obsessed with wanting a girlfriend not because of society but because that's what I wanted? A romantic and sexual relationship with a woman. If the cure is to sit with this discomfort why do I have the discomfort in the first place? Because I can find men handsome? But that doesn't make me attracted to them sexually I've never looked at a man and thought "I'd love to have him all to myself and fuck him" I've only said that about women? Groinal responses as well they're a pain in the ass especially when I check porn it's a massive anxiety trap and makes me question shit even though it may cause a physical response I don't like it mentally I want it gone I want this all gone without any doubt. If anyone spent their time reading this thank you. I feel so alone at the moment and isolated with confusion with no one to talk to

It’s already been a year from my breakup. I feel a lot better and learned a lot about myself. It’s also been 6 months since we last spoke to each other. I feel like when we stopped speaking to each other became the moment where I finally started feeling all of my emotions more at once. I’m at this period of my life, where I hate to admit I still long for him to reach out to me. I want to get rid of this false hope and want to be more accepting of how over this has been for me. I can’t say I want closure, I think I just want someone to be by my side. I do tend to feel a lot of loneliness but I know this will pass. Any advice on letting go?

Yesterday was my birthday. My mom didn't call me on my birthday. When do you outgrow this type of hurt?

Have you guys ever been on a couple dates and out of nowhere they say they are not feeling it. Like basically ghost you. My OCD want me to get and answer on what I did wrong or etc. I sent out one message but I am restraining myself to give in my compulsions to find an answer. It’s hurts so much 😢

I was dating this guy for a couple months(we were NOT exclusive.). I had my birthday celebration last weekend where I got super drunk and blacked out, and had sex wigh a guy I met at the club. I told my FWB what happened and he got super upset. He said “sounds like this isn’t the first and second time this has happened and that hurts me.” He’s told me he can’t handle a relationship right now so I don’t know why he’s upset? I didn’t cheat bc I am still single, he knows that. Do I just distance myself from now on? He hasn’t talked to me since

Im having a horrible panic attack right now and have been because of rocd. I feel like a failure and my mom made it even worse. Please help me

Is feeling the need to confess everything you’ve ever done to your partner a compulsion? My body and mind tells me that if I don’t that I’m lying to my partner about who I am or what I’ve done and that I should say something otherwise I’m bad. Can anyone relate to this?

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

I have been facing the end of my relationship and the need for a job for a year now. Every moment of every day it’s there hanging over me. But instead of spending every moment working or finding work, I spend every moment frozen about it and feeling unable to do anything! I have OCD, of course, and a rare sleep disorder (KLS) that messes with my circadian rhythm, has no treatment (“just wait it out” for up to several years), and causes me to sleep 12+ hours and often 20-36 hours at a time. I wake up still feeling like I barely slept. It really sucks. I’ve tried so hard to establish a routine around a shifting sleep pattern, to reduce or manage stress, to listen to everything my doctors have asked me to do… My partner of almost 10 years moved out two weeks ago. She paid the rent for this past month but I’m on my own now. I just ordered pet food and am out of money. She had been covering about 80% of expenses this year til she moved. I had covered all of our bills and more for a few years before that, but she had to leave for her own sake, and I understand. 😞 I’ve never been this isolated and alone before. My family is going through a lot. My car’s been broken into and disabled twice recently (thanks Kia Boys) and I haven’t been able to afford to fix it this second time. This is a lot already so I’m going to post about my work search in the comments. I’m wondering if anyone can relate and, heck, if anyone knows somewhere hiring remotely right away.

Does anyone else here also struggle with anxious attachment? Specifically over texting? I have it very bad with my girlfriend and she’s very secure. It is very hard for me to understand she might be busy and can’t text back within the time I want her to. Any tips or advice on how to heal my anxious attachment.

I kind of feel fake…if anyone has been through this phase also can you explain this to me the feeling of fake ? What does recovery looks like? Do we find our answers on the process? Do we start to feel love again? Do we start to feel more confident in ourselves and our relationship? What is it like? Do I have to keep on living like this my whole life in order to not catch ocd again in life later IF I RECOVER?