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Does anyone else feel like a trigger is hearing other peoples opinions about your life? Like hearing someone say “oh youre just in denial” or like someone thinking they know you better than you know yourself. Like my identity loss due to OCD gets so bad sometimes that i just numb myself out because hearing peoples words in my head repeat like “you probably like this since you avoid it so heavily and youre in denial”. Like especially from people who label themselves spiritually “woke”. I guess im just ranting/venting. But ive grown up hearing things like that a lot and it makes me so uncomfortable when people think they can figure you out easily
What if I'm lying
Does anyone else with hocd/soocd look at other people and think they are gay or lesbian? I even had intrusive thoughts that my husband was gay but closested and only dates women because he comes from a conservative culture 🤦 like yesterday I was at a restaurant and I heard this guy's voice and kept thinking "he is gay'"
Does anyone feel like no matter show much you try to calm yourself down that your body just wants to stay anxious so it keeps coming up with more thoughts to scare you even further? It’s like OCD is so relentless it wants you to suffer. It’s like oh you solved that intrusive thought and feel calm now? Well here’s another one because you’re meant to be having anxiety
In OCD, anxiety is certain but suffering is an option. Hold the space for your thoughts, observing them until they pass. To heal, we must bravely stay, rather than run. Meditation is not about getting rid of thoughts but taking the power they have over us. Meditation teaches you equanimity until you see all the negative emotions gradually chipping away. Meditate.
So afraid I did this horrible must horrible thing that will cause someone I love pain and me . And the more I go back the more I research things I keep finding to make me certain but not absolute that I feel I did it. Help! I've had false memory ocd multiple times but I've been stuck on this for 3 months I feel like this time I could have blanked out and acted on intrusive thoughts:( help
Does anyone else spiral into panic attacks when they read things like just comments that bring up triggers? I keep going why do I care so much about what this one comment says on the internet? I know they're wrong but then I keep going WHAT IF? WHAT IF? It's annoying.
Hello, don't worry this isn't reassurance seeking I am just genuinely curious and a bit confused about Harm Ocd. I'm just wondering whether Harm Ocd involves the fear of other people causing harm to other people? Like not necessarily the fear of myself being is the one causing the harm, but more like fearing other people's ability to cause harm to other people (especially those I care about) and then me not being able to do anything about it, or not being able to do anything to prevent those people from causing harm, not being able to prevent the harm being done... Aka responsibility over things that happen to other people that doesn't necessarily involve myself. Does that still fall under that umbrella? Because everytime HOCD is being explained/defined, I've only seen it being defined as, "the fear of you causing harm to other people". I know OCD is still OCD regardless of its subtype but I still wanna know.
the worst thing is when your intrusive thoughts don’t even feel intrusive anymore
i woke up randomly having a full blown panic attack this is the worse feeling ever 😩 what should i do?
I might be a bad guy and i have to just accept that it is a possibility as with all my other worries and fears.
Has anyone taken Prozac and if so has it helped their intrusive thoughts? I just started Prozac I’m a week into it so far.
Someone came to our house insisting that his phone is here. He insisted a galaxy phone? Then he heard an iphone ringtone then insisted thats his phone. We told him that we don’t have it. We asked everyone in the house if someone picked up a phone, which no one did, and I doubt we would pick up a galaxy phone since we are not the type of people who steal. He came came close to my window. He keeps insiting to give his phone back. He was probably doing drugs and my brain just told me I also got affected by drugs. It triggered a panic attack and now I can’t calm down bc he was so close to me. I literally cannot process my brain and I probably got traumatized by the whole entire thing. I don’t know how to calm down. :(
I need to get this off my chest if anyone can read and offer any advice Id be very glad. I feel I have lost my sense of identity months ago that made me Me and now I feel blank inside or feel like as if a new identity is emerging from within me. In short I forgot what it feels like to be Me. ( Maybe its a result of depression)? Ive been beggining to accept lately that Im gay and ready to live that life because thats how strongly I felt in denial and like I just knew I was gay. But accepting it may have backfired because when I dont isolate myself and think about my past life and family and future it dosent fit my value system properly. Because I always liked women( I think) wanted to be with one and never saw guys that way. Hence going back to what I said above feeling of losing my identity and values. But now thinking about having or being with a girl feels like im forcing a square shape in a triangle hole :/ Hope that some some sense? Am I just making excuses for my denial? I feel like I confused myself really bad by ruminating and overthinking, dosent help that I had a weak sense of identity to begin with. Im scared :/ :(
Literally no one would believe me when I tell them I didn’t exactly know how bad it was when I made the mistake I did.. not even me some of the time. I keep telling myself I should have thought so much harder before doing that. Even if I had just done one thing different it would have been fine. I want to turn back time so badly but i would feel guilty if I did because with feel I deserve this pain which I do but🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lmao
Can OCD get to a point where you’re not sure what you want anymore? When I have good days it feels so clear but when I don’t (which is most of the time) I’m so uncertain. Sometimes I feel like I want my fears to come true and then on other occasions that just seems silly?
It’s feeling like I’m really convinced I’m a p :( Like all these thoughts, feelings just everything is really convincing and consuming me like everything of just being a possible bad or weird creepy person feels already true and that it’s me .. :/ idk what to do maybe maybe not is not really working that much only sometimes but sometimes I can’t win against my thoughts or talk myself out of my thoughts yk like to neutralize it to make sure it’s not true or wasnt true
It’s 3:30am, and my sleep meds should be kicking in. I stopped reading my book to figure out how old my grandparents were during the setting. Definitely ADD, possibly OCD in the way in which I wrote it down and checked my math. But also, it just feels like me. It’s not a school book, so OCD doesn’t should rules so much, and I have the time to take side steps. Reminds me that some of what we do could be labeled as OCD or ADD or another ailment, but as per most entries in the DSMs, illness brings one distress. I don’t feel any distress from this now large reading distraction. In fact, right now I’m smiling while thinking about my grandparents on the beach with the characters. Monk may have gotten that line right about it being a gift and a curse. (Others focused on his gift; he reminded them of the curse.). But maybe we can sometimes embrace when our brains are atypical. I know I won’t take my ADD meds while being creative. My “space cadet” ADD helps my mind open to new things. I tend to think of my OCD as just a jerk, but maybe it’s taught me some good too. Here’s to a good side of our worst enemy. And to drifting off dreaming of one’s grandparents hanging out together on the beach. 🥰💜💪🏼
Hello all, this is my very first post. I never thought I would make one, but current life events have driven me here. I was recently diagnosed with SO-OCD after struggling with it for 6 years, starting from when I was 12. I never told anyone throughout the whole time, because I didn’t know the thoughts I was having was OCD. However, throughout the pandemic it got so bad that I had no other choice but to reach out. I’m glad I did. I’m looking forward to treatment. I just turned 18 and I really thought connecting with NOCD would be a turning point in my life. However, my parents have been struggling with their marriage and the outcome is not looking good. This situation is having a huge effect on my mental health: I’m so scared of what’s going to happen and how my life is going to change. I’m scared for my parents and all our futures. I’m worried money will become a problem. I’m just so worried. Above all, I’m sad that the hope I was feeling after finding an answer to my mental health struggles is quashed. How can I focus on getting better if other aspects of my life are going downhill? I’m not looking for reassurance. I just need some support right now.
Anxiety was the only indicator and sliver of hope I was clinging onto that maybe just maybe my fears arent true but I stopped feeling anxiety all of a sudden a week ago and since then I feel like I just want to go and act on all my thoughts. I think Im just suppressing myself and if given the chance Id act on them. That screams denial I know but Im also isolated in my room 24/7 with these thoughts, again just hoping that its my brain distoring my sense but yeah I feel like the gay thoughts have won unfortunately.
i am in the most healthy loving supportive relationship i have ever been in in my entire life and yet daily i question myself on so so so many different levels. do i really love him, does he really love me, am i faking it, am i aromantic, am i not attracted to men, am i just desperate for attention and validation and using him for that, etc etc etc. it’s so so exhausting and nerve-wracking and i’m so tired of it. i don’t know how to make it stop.
I feel so scared I don’t know if I actually want the intrusive thoughts to happen sometimes they catch me off guard and it feels like I want it. I don’t know what’s going on anymore if I’m really a person that wants the fucked up things in my head or not and it’s making my life so bad. I just relapsed on sh after about a year of being clean and I feel so conflicted and gross inside.
Have anybody read book called Brain lock by Jeffrey Schwartz? When I was younger maybe 10 years ago I read it when I realized I had OCD. And it helped me and my OCD was almost cured I only had it in some stressful situations but even than it felt healthier. The book has 4 steps explained. I think it's written when ERP was not widely used so it's more like focusing on RP part. Then some bad things happened to my family and my OCD came back 100 times stronger. How to motivate myself to do ERP or anything similar when this happened? The sentence that was in the book if I didn't cinfuse it with some else was something that stuck with me and helped me a lot back then: I would rather have all the things I'm afraid of happen to my loved ones than live this kind of miserable life.
About real event ocd: why ocd makes us obsess about a past event? Like I never used to worry about it before I had severe ocd crisis. Also ocd is trying to convince me that I am a liar and bad person because I dont remember for sure the year the event happened nor my age. I need peace from this.
Is this a form of ocd?..Someone will say something to me in a certain way..or just.. say it normally and I'll get intrusive thoughts. My dad said "you alright" and smiled and I got thoughts like " he's attracted to you" and stuff and even typing it I felt weird. But it wasn't weird?? Why does my head twist things. I'm going to get diagnosed soon hopefully but I'm terrified if I mentioned these thoughts and feelings..they will think I'm weird and don't have ocd?
Is having a thought about something that you did but not sure about it because it's so out of character and from ages false memory ocd? Because I feel like I did this thing and how I thought while doing so but I know I didn't do that! I can't do that!
going to try my best to just sit through the anxiety today
Can anyone help me? I’m having a hard time right now because I keep falling in and out of sleep because I keep getting intrusive thoughts. And I havent had an ocd attack like this in a long time so the intensity is there. I just feel really scared right now. I also feel like I’m half asleep so that’s scaring me even more right now too :((
anyone else’s ocd and/or anxiety get worse at night?? it’s so exhausting i hate it i just want to go to sleep peacefully
Some words of hope tonight for those who might need it, from someone who has hit lots of low lows with OCD and often thought I would never have hope again, but here I am, and I do have hope again. Message to all soocd sufferers. Things can and will get worse before they get better. OCD is like an irresistible metaphorical scab that we keep picking, keep uncovering the rawness until there is a scar, and it feels unrecognizable, we feel unrecognizable to ourselves, because of all the picking and uncovering and perspective shift we've gone through over time bc of the disorder, but what is a scar if not just evidence that your body once went through something and made it to the other side? That's what ocd is. Yes, you're probably never gonna go back to the old you. Yes, you're always gonna have that scar, that emotional trauma of a brain that makes you feel like you've lost all sense at some points, and yes the intrusive thoughts and fears won't go away permanently, but when you decide to face those fears, i mean actually face them, commit to the fear and feeling the fear and doing what you've decided you want to do despite the fear that ocd plants in your mind, you will see that it does get better. Don't expect your life to change overnight. Don't expect to one day suddenly be free of the disorder in some magical way. You have to work at it and commit to temporary discomforts that you will eventually start to understand don't last forever. They are temporary discomforts (exposures and resisting compulsions), they can feel like the world is ending and you're doing everything wrong, but that's just a feeling. And you need to resist the compulsions anyway if you want to see change. It's so difficult in a society where it is preached to us that feelings are fact and we should guide our lives on gut instincts and intuition. Unfortunatley, ocd sufferers don't get that luxury of relying on feelings to make choices. Accept the discomfort of that. Accept that as an ocd sufferer, you might need to approach the world differently than someone with a more typical pattern in their brain. Don't see it as a bad thing. Just see it as something to adapt to, and when you start to approach yourself with acceptance, you make more room for recovery to happen. Trust me. <3
Here’s a sum up of OCD i wrote (i’ll involve examples at the end): Ocd urges are the literal worse. Like anything associated with lgbtq / lesbians i get the urge to do, regardless of what it is and whether I want to or mot. That’s the entire point of ocd urges. Then you get unknown anxiety at the thought of not doing it, and then you get anxiety about having anxiety about mot doing it and worry that means the initial thought is true & you want that. ^times that anxiety is even worse than the initial anxiety. There’s also times when you’ll literally think about your thought, and won’t get any anxiety. You get more anxiety at it almost not being true, and then you start freaking out about THAT. Nothing satisfies you. Nothing satisfies OCD. And sometimes it even feels like its true and you want it, and in those moments you just lay there sad and scared and paralyzed, almost as if your body and brain have a mind of its own. It’s a never ending cycle, cause what you believe is true you don’t want to be true. So you will constantly be at war. Ex: 1. Someone with pocd will believe they’re a pedophile, but don’t want to be. 2. Someone with so-ocd will believe they’re gay / straight / bi, but don’t want to be. 3. Someone with harm ocd will believe they’re a sociopath / going to act out & hurt people, but don’t want to be / don’t want to. 4. Someone with real event ocd will believe they’re a horrible person, but don’t want to be. You’ll do anything to prove your not, but ocd will never be satisfied. That’s the entire point of the disorder. It can become as real as reality, but even then it’s so hard. The only way to cure this is accepting uncertainty, accepting the possibility.
Meditation has decreased my OCD by upto 70-80% in just 10 days. I suffer from Harm OCD. I have had depressive episodes of OCD where I couldn't even have the energy to walk. Been meditating since 10 days and the result have been more profound then I ever anticipated. My rumination has decreased by 90%. When I used to get intrusive thoughts, I would get totally consumed by them but now it feels like I am floating above them. The anxiety is still there but this time it feels more like I can observe it from above and eventually it dissipates. I have also been happier than I was even before I got diagnosed with OCD. But please, if you want to meditate don't start meditating with the intent of getting rid of OCD because with that thinking you won't. Meditation should be done for the meditation itself. Just like when you listen to music, the music itself is the point and not the end or the beginning. You need to have more meaning to it. For me, meditation was more about leading a spiritual life and on the path of experiencing enlightenment. If you are meditating to remain healthy, I am sorry, that's not how it works. Meditation is not a pill you take to get healthy and become happier, they are the by product of it. Like I said, don't meditate with the intent of getting anything out of it. This is why, spirituality gives more meaning to the meditation. I can suggest you some sources to get started if you're interested. But please do take care of the above. This may not 100% gurantee you will be able to decrease your OCD but I believe that it will and only if you understand the above and commit to doing it. Ah... It's a relief indeed! Meditation has transformed my mind. Don't mean to exaggerate but I know, I can feel how much of an impact it made. Being able to concentrate on task without having to ruminate on these thoughts has been the greatest feeling of relief. “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” - Alan Watts
Don't put your life and happiness on pause for ocd! Waiting for your ocd to go away or get better before you can do the things that you enjoy isn't necessary. Its ok if the feelings or thoughts are still there while you're working or hanging out with a friend or even watching your favorite show! You have to be ok with the idea that these thoughts and feelings might be here for a while but that doesn't mean that your entire life needs to stop ~
The thing about “what if” questions is that the nature of our disorder is to always be prepared for the very worst thing to happen. It’s not pessimism, but rather but an overwhelming need to not be caught off guard. The feeling of hope seems terrifying because if something bad happens that we could have prevented, we feel like we won’t survive it. For me, I struggle to let myself have positive “what if” thoughts because bad outcomes I haven’t prepared for or tried to prevent would crush me.
I’m really triggered rn, from a YouTube video I watched
When you start on the road to recovery… is it normal to start feeling “okay” with things you were petrified about and that then makes you feel uncomfortable? I had my first session yesterday, and I felt very calm after it, but now this morning I’m panicking that the therapy will make me really want to be gay?
If you’re someone who has healthy sleep patterns, have you ever had to combat increased anxiety during bedtime? If so, how have you done so? What methods did you use? I get relatively anxious at nighttime, and it makes it incredibly hard for me to sleep. I compulsively stay on my phone until I fall asleep with it in my hands. I try to distract myself from the anxiety and obsessions, but it is not healthy at all. I don’t want the list of things to try in general, though; I just want to know what you personally have done. Okay that’s all :)
does anyone have any tips to help with not seeking reassurance? it's become a compulsion for me to do anytime i experience anxiety but i know that's not healthy so i'm trying to find another way to stop doing it sk often.
Imo suicidal ocd is one the hardest themes to deal with. Becuase it feels like it could be real because killing yourself can be a result of a mental illness. It's just difficult becuase I don't know if I actually want to, or if it's ocd. This just makes it hard. I've had this theme for over a year, no self harm or attempts or anything but what if I want to. I don't wish I were dead. All I want is to be happy. HOW do I deal with this theme?? Any advice? Please??
I think i have Real Event OCD. I wish I never had done things that I’ve done. I feel like I live a lie too all the people I love and care about because they don’t know about the thing I have done. I’m afraid that the thing I’ve done has hurt people and how that has effected them. The thing I’ve done is so shameful. I think that I don’t deserve my girlfriend that doesn’t know about this thing in the past that I did before I met her. She deserves a guy who hasn’t done those discussing things I feel like. I’m scared that if she knew she would get hurt or disgusted by me. This whole OCD thing has made me depressed and very anxious lately and has been goin on for some time now. People are starting to notice that and I just answer that I’m okey because I can’t explain too them what’s going on with me because Im so ashamed too tell them about this event. Thanks for reading.
Anyone have any good written exposure examples for SOOCD and ROCD, potentially examples where they are both addressed. Mine blend together and I’ve definitely started improving through therapy with my NOCD therapist, but I need some ideas on written exposures. Thanks all! :)
Tips for not being able to sleep because of racing thoughts?
Does anyone know how to cope with dreams about intrusive thoughts? Been having them a ton lately and it irks me so much :(
I read this in a NOCD article emailed to me a few days ago about reassurance and I liked this quote: “Recovery from OCD requires habituation to the distress caused by uncertainty. And habituation cannot occur when reassurance keeps the person from getting exposure to uncertainty.”
What if your theme didn’t begin with an intrusive thought? I was google searching about why I was nervous to get into a relationship when I saw posts about the aromantic/asexual spectrum and related to a fair few of the points on them. So it’s less intrusive thoughts and more that there’s evidence for me being my fear? Idk, it’s so bloody confusing. I feel like even if I get over this obsession I’ll never figure out my weird response to relationships
The less you care what others think, the happier you'll be 🔑 :)
It feels so bad, it feels like I'm in denial and that I should just accept it, I feel like crying. Whenever I say "I'm straight" I no longer believe it and sometimes I don't ruminate about it, making me think it's real. I feel so convinced now and it feels like I'm lying to myself when I say I don't like it :(
Has anybody applied for disability for their OCD? I'm considering it, because it is almost impossible for me to handle being around people to work, and my the company I worked for just closed. What sort of documentation did they require? Were you approved? Did you have to file am appeal?
am i the only one who has an occasional issue with seeing comments?? like i see there are two comments, i click on the post but see none??
Why do I get a flair up of ocd and anxiety before a vacation?! So annoying!!! Any advice on how to get back on track and stay there? It's like my ocd doesn't want me to enjoy life.
On the way to work there was a school bus on the other side of the road and I didn’t see it until I passed it because there was a car next to me and I was in the far right lane it’s a 4 lane road so I thought I didn’t need to stop but apparently I did have to I looked up the law in my state. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I hit a kid it’s so scary I don’t know what to do I really didn’t mean to I feel horrible. I could also get a ticket. The person next to me didn’t stop either I don’t even know if the flashing lights were on but I think people behind me stopped i don’t know but I saw that the bus was stopped on the side of the road so I should have stopped but didn’t. I hate driving enough as it is but when I mess up it’s 100x worse idk what to do
Really struggling when it feel like I really want it.
I’m falling behind in college and no one knows besides my therapist. I’m having a really hard time balancing out work, school, and then all my problems. I don’t know what to do and I feel so horrible 😞
The best things that have helped me on my healing journey in no particular order: 1. Insight Timer (meditation app) 2. Yoga With Adriene (Free yoga on YouTube) 3. The Body Keeps The Score (book for people with PTSD) 4. What Every Therapist nEeds To Know About Anxiety Disorders (book) 5. Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts (book) 6. Thich Nhat Hanh (Zen Buddhist teacher) 7. The Imp Of the Mind (book) 8. Getting Control: Overcoming Your Obsessions and Compulsions (book)
It’s been difficult to make the active choice not to ruminate, because it feels as though I am letting myself off the hook for something I am not allowed to let myself off the hook for, which creates guilt, and then fear that the guilt will never go away unless I confess. But whenever the thought comes up, I keep choosing to let it go again, even if I started ruminating for a few seconds. There are times where it gets easier and I get a break from the thought. It sucks so much, and is very hard work, but I am choosing to do this every day until I am in recovery. I will do this every day even if the thought never goes away because I am never willing to give up trying to get my life back.
As soon as I become aware that I’m not having ocd thoughts, i get ocd thoughts…
I am going to take Prozac soon and I’m worried because I read that it can make you suicidal and I’m already kind of having suicidal thoughts but don’t plan on actually doing it but I’m scared the medication will make me go through with it
Does anyone have any tips in terms of how to stop ruminating? I have Pure OCD, so the majority (about 95%) of my compulsions are mental. Some big ones are avoidance, compulsive research, spurally into what ifs, and rumination. It hard for me to recognize that I'm ruminating until I'm already spiraling. I have no idea how to not engage with the thoughts or not do the compulsion. If anyone has any tips or tricks they have found helpful, please share.
anyone worry they like the lifestyle of what they are afraid of? i’m terrified
... honestly.. I feel like I am the exception.. I really do feel like the exception tho.... What do I do?
Hocd Tw Mentions of sex I dont feel any romantic attraction to women but I can see myself doing romantic things with guys in the future and lately Ive accepted it too. Ive bascially made a compromise with my brain that If I do some stuff with guys It will stop causing me pain and let me live my life. I think this is backfiring now though bc now Im getting anal sensations and other weird groinals. Since I accepted being gay or whatever my brains makes me feel like If I can accept that I can be fully gay in the future too? I dont want to be fully gay. But now saying that justakes me feel hard in denial. Im so sad :/, Ive messed up my head so much. Should I still see an Ocd therapist at this stage that I am in?
Anyone who has tried indica marijuana for managing anxiety? Does it help?
I feel like I've been faking my attraction to women my whole life. I have no idea what is a real feeling anymore and what is real. I don't know how to keep doing this because everything feels backwords and I can't just ignore it. It feels like I'm not attracted to my gf now and feels like Im attracted to almost every guy. Idk whats real. I've always been so in my head about everything my whole life, how do I know what has been real attraction or just me convincing myself?
What is the difference between Perfectionism OCD and Order and Symmetry OCD?
Any advice on how to keep yourself from ruminating?
The president is having a press conference. Suddenly someone jumps up and shouts, “Is it true that you are having an affair with your personal secretary?” He has a few options now. He can protest loudly, “Do not be ridiculous!” and the papers will read, "President denies affair with secretary.” Or he can have the reporter thrown out: “President ejects reporter who asks about his affair with secretary.” Or he can look straight at the reporter, make it clear he heard the question, and then pivot to “Next question please.” He can refuse to dignify the question with a response (Papantonio 2013). From the book 'Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts' about how responding to the thoughts gives them weight. :)
Does anyone respond to their OCD by saying things like: “Thanks OCD! I’d love for that (insert awful fear) to happen! Sounds like a great opportunity for me! Thanks for that suggestion!!!” Has that been an effective response for you? I’m thinking of adding it to my repertoire!
I’m at the point where I feel like I don’t want to be with my girlfriend, things might be better if I break up, but at the same time I don’t want to break up, and I’m also worried that I’m not getting much anxiety from the thought, I do get anxiety from it but not as much as before and I’m getting anxious over that, I want to be with her I know I do, but I feel something else and it’s really stressing me out now and I hate it
anyone else obsessively apply lotion? i’ve have to put on lotion like 40 times a day (i counted one time) and it’s been going on for like a year. i’m so tired of this
Anyone with Pure-O- how do you deal with rumination/mental problem solving/rationalization?
I won against OCD My first post on this app was 740 days ago. I was just starting my freshman year at college. During that time I was meeting a lot of new people and forming new relationships but, I would be hindered by OCD. Many days I wouldn’t show up to class due to high levels of anxiety and constantly giving into compulsions. I ended up having really bad panic attack and had to go to the mental crisis center in my area to seek immediate help. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal but I was in a really dark place and would get those thoughts. After getting out of the mental crisis center I decided I needed to find a therapist who really knew OCD. Many of you in this community may know this but a lot of people don’t understand how hard it is for people like us to find good therapists because most therapists only have a firm grasp on mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. Nobody really understands what it’s like to have OCD. After I did find a good therapist it really did change my life, it took tremendous work and at the time I had to sacrifice some schooling in order to get my mental health in check and it did pay off wonderfully. I was so happy and felt in control of my own life for once. Then Covid happened and I relapsed so hard, I am sure many people can relate. My OCD was flaring up constantly and if dealing with that wasn’t enough all the personal stuff that was going on in my life because of this pandemic made it really stressful. I had a friend attempt to commit suicide, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me, a cousin that overdosed on drugs, a grandmother that has dementia and was forgetting who I am. I started drinking and smoking a lot more than usual to deal with all of this shit. But guess what? I pushed through it. What changed? I took ownership over my own life. What this pandemic taught me was that there’s a lot of shit in life you can’t control. I couldn’t control how long things were going to be shut down for and I can’t control my intrusive thoughts, but I still have control over my actions. I let all that shit go. I stopped waiting for someone else to tell me what to do and when to do it and just started making my own schedule. I quit my job, sobered up and left a lot of it in Gods hands honestly. I really didn’t have a plan but I just knew I needed to change and I couldn’t do that by staying in the same situation and seeing the same people. I was alone for quite sometime, all I did was read and workout but that isolation really grounded me. It gave me a deep understanding of who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Once I figured that out everything else fell into place. I moved towards my goals and my purpose in life and in the process my sanity came back. My therapist said to me I’ve made some of the most progress out of any patient she ever had and that was 6 months ago the last time I had an appointment with her, because I have officially graduated from therapy! I apologize for the long winded and personal story, maybe a lot of you didn’t even read the whole thing but for those of you that did just know if I could overcome all of these obstacles and overcome my OCD I know you can do it too! It may not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year but if you stay in treatment, surround yourself with the right people, and stop waiting for someone to give you direction and purpose and go live the life you want too live I guarantee you that you will succeed and get better. I’m not sure when’s the next time I’ll be posting on this app, So till then do as the great Tupac Shakur says and “Keep Ya Head Up”
Is ROCD where you don’t know if you should be with someone you think you love and have had so many good times together and laugh at so many things, while also thinking, what if I want to explore and there is someone better out there? Like what if I want to just be single and casually date but not be tied down? But this guy I’m talking about understands a lot about me but my issue with this ruins our friendship a lot…I have been suffering from this for a long time and it’s so hard.
Honestly need words of support. My OCD has been making me feel physically anxious to the point of nausea and throwing up. My new fear is a combination of HOCD with fear of being asexual/aromantic. Any conversations with friends about boys, seeing any romantic content on TV, feeling any nerves around boys makes me feel nauseous and triggers all these insane questions: Do I fear relationships & commitment or am I asexual? Am I in comphet? Am I just not ready for a relationship yet? Am I just conforming to societal expectations and don’t actually like guys or enjoy relationships? Will I be alone forever? Why do I get stressed when guys show me romantic attention? I’m so sick of this nausea that’s stopping me eating and sitting with my friends. It’s like everything is ERP at the moment and it’s overwhelming. Just wanted somewhere to vent
Has anyone ever had moments where it felt like you were certain you didn’t want to be with them or love them but then you notified yourself still arguing with that? I’ve been struggling with feeling like this off and on and like I am in denial. It kind of happened when I was dealing with SO-OCD as well.
Some things that helped me with OCD: • Exposing yourself to your fears, like really exposing yourself fully, helps (I haven’t done professional ERP, just my own exposures). You might be fearful you’re going to “like” your thoughts, but that’s just OCD trying even harder. Try exposing yourself. • Lots of “mental health advice” you might hear or see doesn’t always apply to people struggling with OCD. In fact, most things I read (like “trust your intuition”), definitely does not apply. • Humans have anywhere between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day, and MANY of them are negative! Truth is, 99% of thoughts are automatic or random, and don’t mean anything about who we are.
I have hit rock bottom and it hurts. I have never felt more isolated, more alone. I won't see another soul until Tuesday and I cannot take my meds because if I touch them, I won't be able to touch them again. my first two ERP therapists canceled, so now I have to wait until Wednesday for my intake. any tips on how to get through the next few days?
"There's no point in trying to wrestle a thoughts while you're in survival brain" - Dr Russel Kennedy This quote helped me a lot. Hope it can help others.