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the NOCD Community

For anyone struggling right now, I’m here to talk. I’ve been doing significantly better these past couple months and am ready to help others through their recovery process with tips and advice ♥️

Ok open to hearing anyones experiences with Pure O and ROCD/Relationship themes

What kind of thongs do you do to take your mind off of OCD? Not avoidence, just things that stop you ruminating? I find myself ruminating too much in a evening from 7pm onwards, any ideas on what I could do to take my mind elsewhere?

I faced many fears yesterday, POCD, MT OCD, anxiety to leave the house, fear to catch Covid, fear of meeting a friend after not having met her to many months. I had been very scared and wanted to leave the restaurant right away, but I didn't. I would have loved to share that victory with the people who mean the most to me, but all of them cut me out... It's so hard to face one's demons and to know, that even if I win against them one day, I won't get them back...

I suffer from many forms of OCD, but P and Z are by far the worst. What makes me wonder though, is my high libido. It might have to do with my biological clock ticking, or with me focusing on feelings in my groinal area to check, if I get aroused by children and/or animals, and/or me getting aroused through tensing my muscles there, whenever I have a P/Z OCD thought, or urge. I don't know and I try to not think about it too much, in order to not feet the OCD monster. What strikes me as odd, is that the slightest thought about sex seems to turn me on, like not false OCD arousal, but real, not that I'm in to children, or animals, or elderly, or family members, but as I said anything slightly sexual seems to turn me on. When I hear moans of pain, that's bad, too. There is nothing sexy about it. This "everything turns me on" feeling had never been there before P/Z OCD started and it didn't start right away, but developed later, I think after I got the pacemaker for deep brain stimulation for people with treatment resistant OCD. The pacemaker made me more aggressive, causes me to talk much more (too much for most) and might be also responsible for the higher libido. Can anyone with POCD and/or ZOCD related to what I am experiencing? Does anyone on here also has a pacemaker for DBS?

I cant identify what am I feeling rn. Idk if I'm happy or sad or bored or anything. I've been feeling like this for more than a month now. Feels like I'm not living my life, I'm just surviving. I'm not being productive. When someone shouts at me,i only feel bad for 10 minutes then I'm again in the no feeling phase. Nothing gets me excited. Idk if its depression cuz I'm not sad. I have ocd but anxiety has gone completely. Can someone help. I'm 16

I know there’s so much research out there on exercise for mental health, but has anyone here really tried and saw benefits ? I can’t find an exercise I enjoy usually just walking or yoga or jump rope. I don’t like the gym. It’s just hard to get started and motivated like have to force myself.. any tips on experience or getting started is appreciated

I haven’t done a Q&A for quite some time, so let’s go for it! My background before you ask why I’m doing a Q&A: I’ve been in recovery and healed from all 5 of my mental illnesses for almost 4 years now. I was intense therapy for 6 years. I’m one of the new people on this app that’s recovered and I stay on to help whenever I can. Without further ado, please comment your questions and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability 👏🏻❤️

Is it necessary to go back and heal childhood trauma issues in order to fully heal from anxiety and depression? My therapist (not thru nocd) always wants to go back and address this stuff and idk

Dear all, as real chat here is not possible and a fluent conversation would make me feel more connected and part of a group, I'd like to ask, if anyone is interested in an online support group via chat? If yes, I'd try to find a platform for it. I know on here are minors who suffer from OCD, but as I suffer from POCD and want to be able to freely discuss it (and of course, as discussing that topic with minors triggers my POCD, as I found out on here), I would like to start an online support group only for people who are 18 years of age, or older. Anyone who is interested, please let me know.

this felt like a intrusive thought/image and i don’t know if i intentionally thought of it or just felt really real, and i’m scared right now, i just need someone to talk too

So I wanted to come onto here to share this story of mine to keep people aware. So about 5 months ago my guy friend Introduced me and my friends to a friend of his, we shall call him apple. When I met apple he seems familiar. Turns out I used to be friends with him like 4 years ago when I moved to this area. In December he became good friends with my friend, let’s call her carrot. He ended up liking carrot and asked her out but she had a bf so she said no. He then said something to carrot that she didn’t like and carrot decided not to be friends with him. Me and apple still talked because we were family friends and we had no bad blood. Everything was acquaintances and very mutual. Then in about mid February he told me he liked me. I didn’t like him and I told him that I didn’t have feeling for him and wasn’t ok going out with him after he liked my friend. He would not let up about dating but I didn’t mind and got over it after a while. He then became very suffocating and I told him he needed to give me a little space. He said that he respected that. I take the bus home and when doing so I started to notice a van near my stop all the time. I never saw who was in it because I was always so focused on something else l, but I live in a good neighbourhood so I never thought much about it, I figured someone had a family or friend over because it was parked in front of a house. I never knew that apple drove a white van until I saw him leave the parking lot in that exact white van. Then in my head it clicked that it was the same van that has been there for AT LEAST 8 days. So when I was on the bus I decided to see who was in the drivers spot when I got off the bus. He parked outside of the entrance to my street which was also where my stop was. When I came around the corner I saw the van. It was turned off. I got off the bus and the van wasn’t there, instead it was closer and almost behind the bus. It was apple. I was shocked. He slowly encroached down the road as I stood there watching him in shock. I started to shake and ran home to figure this out. I called him and played dumb and called and acted like I didn’t know anything. We talked, he straight up lied to me and I was pissed. He said the reason why he was watching me outside my stop was because he “missed me”. (Btw my stop was like right by my house. Like only 2-3 houses separated my stop from my house)So I dropped all contact and went to school the next day. He hasn’t showed up to the class we have with each other in 2 days. I’m 16. Like I never thought something like that would happen to me, and I’m like astonished.

I've been doing pretty well with ignoring my body's sensations and and ignoring Google when it comes to symptoms that my anxiety has manifested but I've been dealing with weird neck tension and jaw tension on the left side for a while now. Couple weeks off and on and while I know I've been down that road before I can't help but think it is something terrible like throat or oral cancer. I've never smoked in my life and my doctor has told me I am healthy and good to go but the thought of something I'm possibly ignoring or something that had been overlooked overwhelms my mind at times. Anxiety has a Bible list of symptoms and they can happen even when your not anxious or stressed. Any words of wisdom or similar experiences to gain perspective.l?

i have a crush on this guy and we’re getting closer and it’s amazing. it makes me super happy and i’m very attracted to him physically. i think he’s amazing! but when i think about us having sex, i don’t enjoy it. i find it perverted and weird. something happened to me once that i don’t really want to get into but essentially it’s probably a safety thing that’s turning me off. like sex has become this source of fear now and i find it gross… yet i’m also one to think A LOT about sexual stuff. i fantasise all the time about it. so it’s really confusing! i spoke to my therapist about it and it made a lot of sense that this is rooted in fear over what happened to me and all of that. but when i think of me having sex with a girl, i don’t feel as put off. logically i think it’s because i feel safe with women so it’s less scary. the thing that happened to me was done by a man and not a woman. but then part of me is nervous i’m simply not sexually attracted to men and i’m in denial. i’ve never had a romantic crush on a woman, and any sexual attraction i’ve felt has been purely anatomical (like very sexualised women in porn etc). i think i just feel a bit deflated because i honestly really really like this guy and now i’m questioning it all. i want to feel sexually attracted to him, and if i’m not, i don’t want the reason to be because i’m not sexually attracted to men! any insight would be appreciated :)

I suffer from OCD for over 2/3 of my life. When POCD start at age 21, my life took a turn for the worse. I hated and disgusted myself, my life became smaller and smaller as I avoided triggers more and more. As my life became smaller, so did my circle of friends. After a total break down in 2012, that left me unable to work and overwhelmed by OCD for 1.5 years, I had lost two close friends. Others stuck around, but as they realized I probably won't ever be pre-break down me again, they cut me out, too. I met a guy after this 1.5 year lasting period, we fell in love and he helped me back on to my feet, he fought along side me for 2 years, then for 4 years he slowly withdrew from me, our relationship ended in early 2020. I suspected OCD had been the reason for him to withdraw, but I only got his confirmation a few weeks ago and it left me deeply hurt. I don't feel like ever dating again, my ex partner of 6 years hadn't been the first to leave me due to my OCD and I feel like just I can't take it anymore. Getting dumped, because someone doesn't love you for you anymore is painful. Getting dumped, because you are not worth the trouble, because you don't function properly, because of an illness you yourself want to get rid off, is so much worse. And the same goes for friendships. And my family is not a real help either, for many years my friends had been my family. I feel utterly alone and even though I don't want to die and actually want to again properly live, I sometimes wonder, for whom I am actually putting a fight up every single day? (I'm not suicidal) Have others had similar experiences? If you are completely, or nearly completely alone, how do you deal with it?

i'm sorry in advance for how long this post is and if it's to much information. i'm undiagnosed but have been struggling with compulsions and intrusive thoughts since i was 7 or 8. My worst intrusive thoughts theme has been about p*d*phil*s. I've been dealing with it since my freshman and sophomore year but these thoughts didn't become debilitating until June of last year. I had a panic attack and confessed to my parents about these intrusive thoughts. They were obviously shocked and share. I felt so ashamed and like a monster. After talking with my dad he said we would see a therapist about it. Sadly we never did the first appointment we were late and missed are spot and the second appointment i sprained my ankle the night before so instead i was in the hospital. After that i closed myself off i tried dealing with them on my own using sources like NOCD and stuff. I did try to bring up going to therapy to my parents. Every time they would ask me if the intrusive thoughts were back and I would lie saying "no i just would like to go to therapy" I was so scared they'd be afraid of me and stop loving me, especially my mom. Eventually after awhile my parents forgot about it and I tried ignoring these intrusive thoughts because I was so focused and stressed from school. I decided I could just wait till I turn 18 and schedule myself into therapy. recently though my intrusive thoughts have gotten worse. I recently had a convo with one of my friends who has intrusive thoughts as well and she's encouraging me to talk to my parents. I'm asking y'all what should I do. As much as I'm scared I want to get help because I'm sick of living and feeling like i'm day away from acting on my intrusive thoughts.

I live alone for over 1.5 years now and doing ERP against POCD seems too much to handle on my own. The urge to ruminate a lot after ERP sessions against POCD had always been overwhelmingly strong and hard to not give in, as I felt I owe it to others to make sure I didn't harm someone. I feel like being stuck in a vicious circle. My ex made it clear, that OCD killed our relationship. We barely did something together outside of our apartment, if we did, triggers (or the mare thought triggers could be there) would constantly make me tense and after a while it made him tense, too, which made me even more tense. The impact OCD had on my life and ultimately on his, to him had been a price not worth paying. It is hard for me to cope on my own as it is, given that I also started to suffer from depression and other forms of anxiety. It seems like, I won't be able to have a relationship again, if I don't get POCD under control, but to be able to even try that I'd need a partner. Some have family and friends to support them, but 17 years of POCD stripped me bare of real friends I can rely on. Does anyone have made similar experiences? Does anyone have managed to go through ERP against POCD without any support apart from their therapist?

I was trying really hard not to like google incessantly and go on Reddit and stuff but I caved and I went down this rabbit hole of watching tik toks of women coming out and like comparing/contrasting my experiences with them. How do you stop yourself from doing these things? Especially when it feels like you have to watch the videos in order to like, “figure it out” and whatever. SO-OCD is SO HARD especially when sexuality is so fluid anyway. It’s so frustrating!!

Has anyone ever done ERP during pregnancy? If so did it help? I just know that even though it helps in the long run, it can make the short term anxiety a lot worse, which I’m afraid to experience while pregnant.

i think if I had to put a label on my OCD id call it "sexual scrupulosity"--im obsessed with searching for "evidence" that im a sexual predator, or that i coerced consent out of someone, or that i groomed someone into consenting to sexual conversations even if explicit consent was given and maintained, etc etc. I know exactly where these thoughts and obsessions came from and which traumas caused them to be so prominent, but no amount of logical thinking helps them be less distressing it's especially difficult when it combines with real event ocd--"did this person lie about their age? were they actually a legal adult? were they able to consent? was the consent fully informed and uncoerced?" what this means is that consent and respecting consent is extremely important to me, but i can't escape this bizarre alternate reality my OCD has formed where I'm a predator or pervert waiting for people to "find out" about my degeneracy. it feels almost like im hiding a double life help??