Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I feel like a lot of people that have ocd get caught up oversharing… does anyone have tips or ideas to not overshare? This is my main trigger for my ocd right now so I have GOT TO stop oversharing asap

It's too much for me right now, and I'm really struggling. Like really bad. Right now, um going to just focus on letting thoughts go, like... IDK MINI ERP? I'm going to try not to analyze them. It's too much for me, trying to figure out what's a compulsion, what's ocd, what's not... I've gotten worse, I is thinking. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or something, and I have a therapist on NOCD and stuff, but it's just not working. Not now, at least

I posted a memory from a year ago on IG and I feel like I’m just an empty shell of who that guy was because I’m no where near as confident as I was and the times recently I have felt “normal” or my SO-OCD wasn’t bothering me are fleeting because no one really knows what I’m going through aside from my therapist everyone here and a select amount of people I felt comfortable telling , I want to be that guy again so badly because i felt it was who I truly am and who I want to be but lately anytime I feel “normal” it’s fake like there’s a voice in my head saying “you’re acting” or “you’re lying” because I’m not as open with what I’m dealing with, most people think I just have contamination ocd which I do but they don’t know the other sub types I deal with and if they did they would see how big of a coward i really am especially girls if a girl I like really knew what I was afraid of she would doubt me as a man and just think I’m in denial or confused and not fully understand that SO-OCD and the thoughts I deal with I absolutely hate and wish that I could make them go away and they are not things I enjoy or am curious about. I feel like I can’t fully enjoy my life or be the happy social guy I was until I tackle the OCD demon like my brain is saying “don’t have too much fun because you’re in treatment right now” or “ how long until this girl figures out what you’re really afraid of” I feel like a fraud in a way because if people saw how scared I’ve been and how much I dread waking up in the morning because I know my brain is going to be active and I have from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep to constantly shake off my ocd they would know how un credible of a human I am and wouldn’t listen to a word I said especially girls and my team mates at my Jiujitsu gym. Even when I’m doing ERP one of my biggest fears is someone finding out what I need to expose myself to just to learn not to be scared and it kills my self confidence and I feel like this fragile being who has to put on a false bravado to appear nothing is wrong with me when inside I’m battling everyday

I need advice I don’t know if this is HOCD or not but a little more than a month ago me and my ex best friend celebrated our birthdays with our co workers/friends because we are a week apart and decided to celebrate at some bar. We all got drunk and my best friend now is bi and wanted to kiss my ex best friend when we all got drunk that night and I felt a ping of disappointment I guess and I didn’t understand why because I’ve questioned many times if I was bi but I don’t want to be but also was upset because everyone likes her more I feel like than me because my crush (my ex guy best friend) wanted her more because she was willing to sleep with him and I’m a virgin and I don’t want to sleep with him I want to wait until marriage so he played me and would flirt with me and then would get close to her and jeopardized our friendship because he wanted to sleep with her but anyways it just seems like as friends or whatever everyone wants her and she’s not a good friend at all. She’s put me down and she knew I liked my crush and didn’t care and I feel like she’s trying to get in between my best friend and I friendship. I know this is all weird but my best friend has a boyfriend and I am close to him like he’s my brother and I told him the next day after when I was hungover that I had that feeling of disappointment and I was questioning whether or not I was bi and mentioned that I was confused and didn’t know if I liked my best friend and when I talked to my mom about it I didn’t mention the kiss between my best friend and my ex best friend because I didn’t want my mom to judge my best friend and so her boyfriend now thinks I like her and that I’m bi and I honestly really don’t want to be. I have nothing against anyone who is but it scares me to death. I just now remembered the whole thing randomly and I feel so much guilt because of it. I don’t know what to do or how to clear this up. She’s my best friend and she treats me better than any friend that I’ve ever had. She cares when I’m down and is always there for me and I guess maybe I got platonic mixed up with the other but I don’t like her like that she’s just my best friend and I’m straight and I don’t want to be bi. I’m sorry for rambling I’m just lost and scared right now

Does anyone else’s harm ocd thoughts sometimes tell you that you want to hurt someone or that you’re going to?

I feel like I’m dying inside and that all these thoughts are true and based in reality and that my relationship can’t and won’t be ok bc it’s interracial. I feel so defeated

After over a year I saw my ex again a few weeks ago and I still feel horrible. Everything came back up, him neglecting me, him ignoring me, him with drawing from me, etc. In 2020, a few months after our separation (we still lived together back then), he told me, that he sometimes wished that I could die from OCD, then he quickly added, that he doesn't want me to die. He also told me, that at the beginning, he didn't know, that I constantly suffered from OCD. He thought, that I only suffer from it, when I'm around triggers. I asked hjm, if he wouldn't have started dating me, if he had known. He said, he would have, but his face and eyes said - Hell no! It is horrible to feel like a failure, like someone's mistake. It makes me feel worthless and for the first time in my life, I'm scared of falling in love again. I'm sad and angry, at him and myself. I keep thinking - How could I ever dare to negatively impact, or ruin someone else's life again? It feels like all I get from people who know about my issues, is either them ignoring it, or them pitying me and I don't want either. I cry a couple of time a day, when looking at the broken segments of my life - No friends, no partner, no pets (due to ZOCD), a family (that resembles more a war zone, than a family), a job I hate, a body that deteriorates and of course, the root of all evil, OCD. I know, I should start ERP therapy with a therapist specialist in OCD, but I feel like a car with an empty tank. I just don't have the energy to add more stress. I read the email of a colleague asking me to take over a task and I started crying, as I just felt so overwhelmed. I know, I keep whining on here, but I just don't have anywhere else to get this off my chest...

Hello everyone. I was practicing OCD (HOCD, harm ocd, sexual ocd etc) then it turns to ROCD unfortunately... I struggeled very very much and i suffered very much too....all day crying, goy anxious, had panock attacks. My rocd theme was rocd and ex, "what if's" I love my husband so much, he is the best men ever, and it was too paingul for me...So, when i didn't know abour ROCD , i started to pray and ASK GOD to give me signs....then i saw a dream And now my problem is.... i think that i DONT have rocd! That i cant have rocd...because GOD Gave me a sign, and i should trust it and make the desigion like in dream! Because God is Powerful and the rocd is nothing much... It;s so hard, when i know that i have rocd its easier to beat it, but when your brain convince you tat you dont have rocd....you like dont know what to do.. .So i think my theme is very special and no one practiced it Because of this anxiety i always like angy and i afraid to break loose to my husband(((((((

Sometimes when i’m with my girlfriend, whether we’re being intimate or just hanging out, i’ll have awful or inappropriate thoughts just coming in and out of my head. sometimes i can get distracted and end up entertaining them in the back of my mind before i snap myself out of it. they don’t cause me too much anxiety in the moment because i’m more focused on being with my girlfriend, but afterwords i think back and feel guilty about the stuff going through my head while i’m with her. My girlfriend is a POC, which makes my most recent and new theme of racial and racism ocd even more inappropriate and upsetting. Looking for tips on how not let this negatively effect my relationship, as my ocd was a major part in the ending/ruining of my last relationship. the main problem i’m having right now is not wanting such thoughts to be floating around my head and to combat the guilt i feel thinking about how mortified and ashamed i’d be if my girlfriend or anyone heard my thoughts.

but I need some help. I broke up with my bf in February, it was like going through hell but I’m ok today. Our relationship was very toxic and he was manipulative sometimes so I’m glad I left in time. I don’t want him/what we had back. But some days I just can stop thinking about him, what he is doing and how he is. I don’t want to write to him either so it’s not like I miss him. Just thinking about him a lot. Is it normal to think about someone so much without missing them / wanting them back? At least I think I don’t want him back😵‍💫 I think it’s a “close” relationship that I miss, because right now I don’t have so many friends which makes me feel lonely

I hate how my ocd attaches itself to someone. Any advice on how to deal with this

I woke up right now feeling calm and not anxious about my real event OCD… I was feeling fine at first, but now I’m scared that this calm feeling means that I’m in denial… I’m still getting intrusive POCD and HOCD thoughts and doing compulsions to rid of them, but I’m scared that not feeling anxious about my real event OCD means I’m in denial of my POCD or something 😭😭😭

I’ve just started seeing this guy and ROCD has already made appearance. This is my first experience with it and I’m scared it’s already ruined things. Some of the thoughts could actually be my thoughts, but OCD has definitely mixed itself up in the situation and made it a bigger issue than it is. Examples of (intrusive) thoughts/fears I’ve been having: - what if I make a mistake committing to one person before seeing what else is out there? - do I really like him? - am i really okay with this thing he told me? Can someone with ROCD experience offer any advice? Had anyone else had obsessions like these?

Hello! I just got dumped due to ROCD negatively affecting the relationship. Wondering if anyone who's been through this, also this isn't my first rodeo lol.. but basically, I am finally committing to therapy for REAL after years of talk therapy and not doing ERP. My main compulsion is reassurance seeking and it ruined my relationship with my ex. Hoping to revisit the relationship after significant improvement in therapy, but he's given me no guarantees - which is honest and also a good thing. I'm wondering if anyone here has any insight on.. like.. so you stay in a relationship because you want it to work, but if you're not actually committing to recovery.. is that not just being personally unaccountable? I really hurt my exs feelings, even though he understands it's the ocd. He felt like it was an excuse for my behavior, and honestly if I wasn't managing it then yeah ... I can't really disagree. I guess I'm just kinda wondering how self worth and personal accountability are thought about by others who have been through this?

I feel like I’m getting over my ex now because I’m talking to another boy but i still have the feeling I don’t want to let go. I also get sad about the fact that I’m going to like this boy and my ex is going to notice and he’s getting sad. Because my ex and I are still on good terms, still speaking and being friends. He ended it because he didn’t felt it anymore and didn’t want an relationship. But I just know he still feels something for me because he still reach out for contact every week. I’ve had a really hard time getting over him and I’m still not fully over him I think but now I’m finally after 6 months of our breakup talking to another boy and it feels good and I like it but in the back of my mind I also feel sad for him and for me and just letting go of those memories with him I feel like I can’t do that. Like I can’t go back to my ex once I like this other boy. + I don’t want to hurt my ex because I don’t want him to be sad. Even tho he kissed 2 girls already I still care for him. It isn’t going to look like I go in a new relationship with this boy, but I just recognise I’m less interested in my ex when he texts me and idk but it’s making me sad Can anybody explain why this is happening ?

At what point do you start to tell yourself you have to stop believing what your mind is telling you? My health anxiety is so bad. I’ve been having gut issues for 10 months and I’ve seen a GI. I’m CONVINCED I have colon cancer. Tbh, I’m extremely scared of cancer and dying in general. I’ve probably thought I’ve had every cancer or tumors anywhere I feel some pain. I’m a google monster when it comes to looking up my symptoms when I’m anxious and I can’t stop. My two friends have both been diagnosed with lymphoma under the age of 30 recently, and one of my best friends unexpectedly passed away in her sleep 8 months ago, she was a healthy young mom. so this has me more paranoid. I have almost every symptom of colon cancer, except the fact that there’s no blood that I’m seeing. When do you also tell yourself that maybe this really is the issue and you continue to push and advocate for yourself without seeming like you’re crazy? I’ve been brushed off for months because of my OCD and it’s starting to make me upset. There’s only so many times you can complain about your obvious pain and symptoms and they tell you nothing is wrong and it’s just your anxiety 😥 but, my mind tells me I need absolute proof that I don’t have this or else I’ll think it forever. Or that they’ll catch it too late and I’ll never see my baby and husband again. I’m so terrified all of the time that I don’t know if I’m causing my gut issues to be worse. 🥺 I don’t even feel hungry half the time, but I’ll eat and then get full really fast. But sometimes I’m not like this and I can eat just fine. Idk when I’m overreacting or not.

Hello guys, I would like to reach out and see if anyone else had similar experience. I have been struggling with existential OCD that morphed into suicidal OCD. It definitely got better over time, thanks to ERP, but I am still struggling to get it under full control. My existential OCD makes me question if there is a point in life, or if I feel happy or if I enjoy my life. Eventually it goes towards, “well, if you don’t feel like your life is meaningful what if you get supper depressed and kill yourself”. Now I constantly analyze my mood and freak out every time I don’t feel happy or content. At this point I believe we need another OCD subtype that would be called“ Depression OCD”. This is so exhausting… (I definitely love my life and do not want to die, but my OCD makes me question every feeling I have). I really work hard to get over this specific theme, but it seems like nothing brings the relief I am looking for. Does anyone have similar experience? Do you have any exposure tips?

I’m in a relapse of my rocd if we can call it that, it’s been months now and it’s so hard. I love my partner an amazing amount but everything I do tells me different. Rocd tells me I don’t love him, I don’t even like or care about him and it breaks my heart. All day long anytime I get excited or happy about something my rocd says that’s because you don’t love him anymore. It’s so hard as I have such a negative view of him with rocd and my mind won’t let me think of anything positive although I was so incredibly happy. He feels like a stranger to me I use to be so comfortable with him and he was my best friend and it just felt right. Even when I was experiencing rocd thoughts from my original episode I was able to work through and still be happy. This relapse is so hard. I’m not sure if I’m experiencing depersonalizations or not because when I read up what it is most people say they feel like they are in a dream. I don’t feel a dream as much as I don’t feel normal and don’t feel like me. I question everything I do from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. Before this relapse, would I have sat down and watched tv, would I have said or done this or that. Everything is a question and nothing feels normal. I don’t feel like me. Even being with my partner I wonder if I act/ think the same way. Would I normally say this in a text, would I normally sit beside him or was it okay if we didn’t cuddle every second we watched tv? When we slept before did I turn durning the night or did we cuddle the whole night? Did I give him a good morning kiss every morning? When I go to text him something my mind instantly checks to see if this was something I would have done before and then reminds me how everything feels so weird. Not just with him but with everything. Sometimes I look at my dog and I don’t even feel like she is the same. I’m just so worried I’m so focused on being normal again that I’ll never actually feel like me. Like I’ve been too far in this hole to get out.It just sucks and feels so wrong. I feel like others have days or moments when they get to feel somewhat normal around their partner but my rocd thoughts/ feelings just won’t let me. It’s been almost 4 months of waking up and not feeling the way I want to and feeling like a stranger. I’m in therapy, I’m doing other rocd work and it’s just sucks. I feel like I’m never going to be able to look or think about my partner and just be okay again. I don’t even care about feeling the in love feelings, I just want to feel like I’m fully committed to us and him again. He is my person and rocd is trying so hard to take him from me. I guess any tips for depersonalization that has lasted a long time?

Raise your hand if you have felt personally victimized in some way by a mental health or medical professional.⁠ ⁠ No offense taken. ⁠ ⁠ We get it.⁠ ⁠ We know what we're up against.⁠ ⁠ That's why we believe so strongly in spreading education, advocating, building trust in the community, and validating/supporting individuals with OCD - because we know the learned helplessness and hopelessness that can be involved in the process of getting help.⁠

How would you describe the OCD cycle to someone who doesn't understand/has never talked about it before? Let us know in the comments!⁠