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Anyone else scared of developing schizophrenia or DID? Hoping I’m not alone.

I have HOCD but I feel like I’m not attracted to anyone anymore and it scares me into thinking I’ll never find men attractive again (I’m a heterosexual female). It feels like no man will ever find me attractive again either. I also am terrified that everyone else thinks I’m gay because I don’t fit the typical straight stereotypes. I wear fun earrings and bright colors all the time and it makes me feel like everyone thinks I’m gay. I’ve been teased for being gay, and I know that I’m straight, but it just scares me that I’ll never be able to be myself because of the stereotype. Does anyone else get either of these feelings?

I just bought a sandwich from a place I’ve been to many times and this time there was only one young guy at the shop making it. He seemed very nice, but for some reason I’m worried he drugged or poisoned my food because no one was around. I continuously have this as one of my main OCD fears, that my food or drinks will be drugged or poisoned and I will lose control and go into psychosis. Does anyone have similar fears? Any advice about how to handle these fears? I don’t want to keep avoiding food and throwing it out because of these fears.

Hello I am on here looking for some help, when I was around 14 my ocd started I had pure ocd symptoms as a child but The panic wasn’t as intense but I never knew it ocd, I had smoked for the first time at 14 & I felt trapped for a good year in this loop of constant existential thoughts not feeling real what is life all that good stuff lol well it had faded but still lingered on I didn’t have a full on panic attack again for about 5 years I would still get the feelings of panic attacks if I was doing something I was scared of but never full intensity like before I am now 20 about to be 21 & at 19 I had my first blown out panic attack again after some years this time the theme was about harm among a few others but this was the main one after I searched online night & day I soon found out it was ocd, I struggled with it for about a year it no longer scared me I would still get the thoughts but they weren’t as intense or sticky anymore, now hearing about the school shooting in Texas I was very upset about it, i was watching videos & kept doing research but then I came across another school shooting and read alittle about the boy & they had said he was very interested in mass shootings & the first thought was Omg I’ve been looking at them all day what if I’m interested in this & want to commit this crime then I started looking up more & Then I looked up one of the shooters mental illnesses & I seen ocd listed as one of the illnesses, it said he was sensitive to light & sounds & was a very anxious person which I am as well then Looked up once again are ocd people dangerous most said no but I seen one that said it can turn into psychosis if it’s severe & not treated now I’m in a mess of emotions believing that ocd may not be my only mental issue & that I could be capable of committing these horrible crimes as well I know looking up is so bad 😣

Mature topic and Unpopular take: I dislike my boyfriend watching porn. It makes me feel insecure and pushes me to think that he will cheat on me. Overall, I do not like it. I have expressed this, and it led into a whole thing where I had to end up asking "Would you choose to give this up or me?" And his timing to answer pissed me off and said "of course you." Today, after a long time from previous convo, I asked again and he goes "Not really" which he clarified as somewhat a little. I don't like it. Currently I feel like I'm not upset, but I am. Which Is making me overthink in itself. Yes I struggle with self esteem, and yes I don't like that my partner does it and yes I understand different couples view it differently. But it's making me overthink on my relationship particularly. I thought the previous time that the reason it took him so long to answer was because he's probably done it so long and it's something that makes him feel good, and we all know how hard it is to come out of habit and normality Especially if it's something that results in pleasure. However, I personally find that it's so different when you, say, read eroticism versus view actual people. Like, that is genuinely someone's body and they are literally having sex and you are watching two live people do it. It makes me feel odd and annoyed. Am I being ridiculous? And how should I go about it? I feel stupid for wanting it to go my way and have him stop. Ultimately I want him to be happy too, but this is just too uncomfortable for me and I don't think it's something that shouldn't be easily given up.

So I don’t know if this will make any sense or not but if you know or relate let me know because I feel like I’m going insane. Is it possible that a real even can get twisted with another memory or whatever and come together to make you think something happened a certain way but there’s a possibility that it didn’t happen that way? Like two memories morphed together? It’s so hard to explain but I’m struggled with a real event and I had a random thought the other night about this real event and I had an intrusive image that made it so much worse and it feel so real as if it happened the way my mind is saying how it happened but I don’t remember for sure because it happened years ago but I feel an incredible amount of guilt and anxiety because what if it really did happen that way? I know I can’t know for sure but I wish I did. My past mistakes haunt me every single day but I don’t know if my mind is twisting this particular one or not. I can explain further if need be but I also feel the urge to confess to my mom but I don’t even know if it’s real event or real event twisted with a fabricated false memory. All I know is it’s bothering me so much and has for a few days and I’ve been trying to just let it be but it’s so hard to when it’s in the back of my mind constantly 💔

Have you been to a psychiatrist before and feel like they're not helping you at all? I've been going to see a psychiatrist for the last month and all it has done is drained my money. I'm literally struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I'm going through depression and intrusive thoughts at the same time and I don't know how to deal with it. I've gone through intrusive thoughts previously in 2013 but didn't have the Level of depression as I do now. My psychiatrist is like just keep yourself busy and create a schedule ( I'm Starting a new job Next week) , I literally want to keep busy but I'm so mentally drained and my mood keeps swinging it's hard to just keeping busy and maintaing a schedule when all I want to do is sleep. Then on top of that he's like what's worse the thoughts or depression. I'm like they're both really bad and he's like pick one, at the time the depression felt worse so I said that and he's like ohh you have to do Action then the motivation comes. But then last night the thoughts were worse. The thoughts don't feel as bad as 2013 but there still there and because I feel so down and out I have trouble dealing with the thoughts. But he's like ohh we can do this natural without assistance.... I'm like dude I'm going to run out of money if I can't keep a job down because of this junk going on in my head at the moment, I don't have to go back to 100% but when I literally can't function I need help ( I've been like this for 4 months)

I can't anymore. I feel like life's all about pain. Ecery though there are happy moments, but when sadness take over them i just can't. It's not getting any easier. I'm sick of being yhis way and crying every single day. I told my family that i feel anxious so i want to go to s therapist. I didn't tell them about ocd. Even over this small thing my mum keeps rechecking on me. I'm not liking it. It's keeping me from telling them that i really want to go. My mum keeps asking if i want to go but they won't take me to see therapist. I don't want to live like this. Feelsike I'm not at all living my own life. I don't want to live

There’s a coworker of mine who I know is queer and for some reason I thought to myself, yeah she’s pretty cool, and now I’m CONVINCED I have a crush. Like it honestly feels like the crushes I would have as a kid, but I can’t tell if that’s just because I have anxiety about my sexuality or if I really do have a crush? Idk but I feel like when I calm down I’ll go back to like normal but it feels so weird. Like maybe I really do have a crush? Ughhhhhh.

Ever since I’ve started struggling with SOCD I feel like I’ve lost myself. Like all I feel is a heavy chest and anxiety every single day. I’m 14 years old and I’m like actually panicking. I feel like all my attraction towards guys has been stripped away from me and like I’ve lost who I used to be. I used to be so in love and have crushed & be so happy, but now it just feels like I can’t love anyone or be in love or have a romantic feelings. I started worrying that o was aromantic and have just being having anxiety over that now. So on top of worrying that I’m bi or lesbian or whatever I’m now worrying that I’m aromatic. I took a test to try and reassure myself and it said I was demisexual??!! I don’t think anyone understands how stressed I am like I want to fall in love, be in a relationship, have a boyfriend, get married, etc. What if I’m actually a romantic and am just in deep denial bc I don’t want to be lgbtq? I’m so comfortable in being strAight I’m just terrified I’m in deep denial. It sounds like I am and I just am so scared like all signs point to me being this but how can this be true. It’s not me and it only started after my ocd began. someone please tell me what this sounds like? ik reassurance is bad but is this denial? I want to die I literally just want to love again what is going on. I read comments on a tik tok and ppl who were a romantic were commenting and k just started panicking. Some please.

I have been through a ton of life transitions and I’m worried that I’m having some sort of crisis. Like keep questioning what is it all for? Like why does it matter? I’m in advertising and I don’t really feel Satisfied with the job which is new btw. But I keep connecting my difficulties and anxiety from switching jobs ( not 100% by choice) with life. Like what I’m I even doing? Is there anything that would make me satisfied? I’m googling like crazy to find certainty. I know I shouldn’t. I have my relationship but I’m constantly doubting if I just settled - enter ROCD. My kid makes me so happy but I don’t want my life to revolve around theirs. All my friends are busy doing their own thing so I just feel Disconnected. I’m 41 and I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The best part of all of this is that on paper and social media it looks like I have it all. And if I do, why isn’t it good enough?

hey y’all, idk why but i just started experiencing the worst harm ocd thoughts ever for the first time since i was 12. i’ve been getting them for years but i knew how to ignore them but for the past 5ish days they’ve been pretty harmful and makes me not wanna enjoy life :/ i think it’s because my life has been going amazing, my mother quit smoking which is something i’ve wanted, i have a great new job, and these thoughts are attacking me based on my worst fears. i hate it because i was so happy literally a week ago. i’ve been getting better but now i have intense guilt because my thoughts have been about hurting others and myself, hurting people i LOVE and would never wanna hurt. i hate it because when i have the thoughts it almost feels like it’s an “urge” and not a thought when i know it’s not, it freaks me out so badly and i just wanted to know if anyone else gets thoughts that are like “do this” instead of “what if you did this?” because it’s incredibly horrible. they turned into suicidal intrusive thoughts that were telling me i should die so i don’t hurt anybody else and i almost panicked and cried in the bathroom at work :/ please tell me this goes away through time. i miss my life. i miss being happy without these compulsions. when i try to do the things i enjoy my brain goes “are you just gonna act like you weren’t gonna kill someone or yourself? yeah you were. you were gonna do it you weirdo. youre sick. people love you and you think about hurting them. everybody hates you you shouldn’t have fun” it’s literally JUST like that and it makes me feel insane. pls tell me someone relates. i’ve talked to my mom about it bc she has ocd but she has a different form and i just don’t want her to think i’d actually hurt her :/

Does anyone else get triggered by dating apps ?

It’s like I am agreeing with it! Or I know my truth!

So I stayed the night with my friend and I couldn’t stop having intrusive thoughts the whole time and I also couldn’t stop checking. Ugh I hate this. I thought I was ready but I guess not. Help!! Has anyone else ever done this ?

I have had so much happen in my life this past week from losing a very close family friend, to having to put my dog down today, to now my boss stressing me out and sometimes I wish I never took this internship and I cant get out of it. I don’t know what to do anymore sometimes I just want to give up. Today I went and took photos to destress with a friend and came back home and had a pain attack it was not fun. Any tips?

So if my ocd is attached to certain objects. My ocd relates certain intrusive thoughts with things like say coffee. It’s easier for me to avoid coffee so I don’t get bad spikes while trying to drink coffee. But my question is. Is that avoidance? and is it making ocd stronger ? If I want coffee should I drink it anyway? I’m afraid I’ll get stuck and have to drink coffee over and over until I am able to finish the cup on a clean thought? I know it’s freaking crazy. I’m freaking nuts I guess 😐

I'm currently obsessed about my sleep. I get worried all day long about it, and when bedtime comes, it's pure hell every single day. I always slept like a baby. 7-8 hours without waking up once mid-night. I know they all say OCD content is irrelevant, but what should I do here? Expose myself to a sleepless night? I already do that, not on purpose, and get terrified when that happens. It is even worse when I look for help. They say I should exercise (check), eat healthy (check) and get good sleep ( that's what I'm trying to do!)

someone help me please can someone write me I need to talk to someone

i have worked with children for 10 years. they are so important to me and my life. i think they are amazing. i know this is why OCD decided to target this and make me feel afraid of what i love and am good at and value in life. i have become so terrified of sexualizing or abusing a child, which is of course what my intrusive thoughts are about. some are verbal, others are visual. they are all horrible and panic inducing. my POCD was triggered by a movie i saw about a groomer/sexual predator. i also have PTSD from child abuse, some of which was sexual in nature. i became so scared of hurting a child the way i was hurt after seeing something similar onscreen, and started getting the intrusive thoughts. i googled my symptoms, and was able to book a call with NOCD almost immediately, and get diagnosed/educated/start ERP therapy. when POCD first struck, i had to miss work, i was vomiting and having panic attacks and unable to function, i couldnt look in the mirror, couldnt eat and got so thin, i looked awful because i couldnt groom properly, i abandoned my social life, i nearly resigned from my teaching position, almost took medical leave from my day job, (i was able to keep both jobs thanks to treatment), i could hardly leave my home, i was contemplating suicide, or contemplating leaving my working/social lives and moving back in with my abusive family and going on disability and never speaking to anyone ever again. every day was anguish and horror and pain. now, just 1 month of meds and ERP later, I am able to eat, socialize, take care of myself, go to work, have a will to live, and recognize that these thoughts are not representative of who I am, want, or believe. I am doing so much better, it is shocking. a couple of my friends know about my POCD and have been so amazing and caring and accepting--i could not be healing the way i am without them either. i feel incredibly lucky to have found the help that i have. I still cry multiple times every day and fall victim to the thoughts. they are just so difficult to "accept." but i am getting there. day by day, i improve, but sometimes it is like two steps forward and one step back. it is all still so distressing. it's been helpful to focus on living my values and not letting OCD stop me from doing what's good and important for me. this includes working with kids and being around my friends, two things that terrified me in the beginning. i live with so much shame, and feel like i have a horrible secret. this has been the worst thing i have ever been through. i hope to keep getting better and to surmount this entirely. i have hope now, which i have come to realize is invaluable. and i hope this gives you some too.