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working to conquer OCD
Hey all, I (21F) would really just like to talk to someone right now. Starting therapy soon, but having someone to talk to about my intrusive thoughts and obsessions would be really helpful. Thanks
So I’ve been suffering from pure ocd with many themes for about two years now. I’m doing so much better now than I did in the past that I would like to share what helped ME recover and could maybe help others. The whole idea is remove the ocd thought or feeling from your awareness to do this 1. Stop ruminating. It may sound obvious and of course we all wish we could just stop. But literally just stop. It’s going to feel extremely weird and uncomfortable at first. And you’re going to feel like you literally have to do it as the more you resist thinking about something the more you want to think about it. You’re brain will get tired and the urge to ruminate will fade away. But you must resist I promise the more you resist the easier it becomes . To the point where it becomes easy to just instantly stop the moment it starts 2. Ignore all your thoughts and feelings when it comes to your ocd and it’s themes. By ignore I mean literally don’t interact with the thought or feeling AT ALL. A thought can’t leave your awareness if you keep interacting with it. Which means don’t try to suppress it because that’s a form of interacting with it. Don’t argue with it don’t accept it, don’t reject it, don’t check if you’re doing compulsions or not, don’t check or monitor it, DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it’s existence. 3. While you’re literally doing nothing about the thought let it become a background thought. Don’t interact with it. focus on something else let it sit there in the background for however long it wants and do nothing about it. Imagine the thought as a headache or something that’s there but it doesn’t bother you it’s in the background and you’re focusing on something else. The thought will eventually begin to fade away but don’t acknowledge it fading away just let it be let it happen in the background and focus on something else. It’s going to feel weird and be hard at first but it will get easier over time all you’re doing is removing the thought or feeling from your awareness. “Sitting with the thoughts” “Imagining thoughts as clouds” “Leaning in to the uncertainty” “Feel the anxiety” Etc. All these things you’re told to do are teaching you to habituate and accept your thoughts. What helped me with ocd is not habituating and accepting the thoughts but not interacting with the thoughts in any way at all and redirecting my focus. Eventually they started to become extremely easy to ignore. Hope this helps 👋
How is it possible that I could be bi if I’m not comfortable with the thought of liking the same sex and I don’t want to be with a guy in any way. The thing that’s taking me up right now is ruminating to see if I liked my best friend and it has eaten me alive it’s a lot stress but how could’ve I have liked him when I wasn’t even over my ex how can I like I like him if im not comfortable with it, I want to be with a women and just a women but my thoughts are alway saying otherwise I don’t want to be with a dude I don’t want to like dudes I don’t want anything with em romantically nor sexually. I hate how my ocd is hyper fixated on my best friend and I hate it. I’ve always wanted to be with a women even since a kid I smacked a girls butt, I’ve always dated women and I loved it and was comfortable with it, can someone please help me? I hope I’m not bi I hope this all apart of my ocd cause I’m constantly stressing and obsessing over this I hate my thoughts I really fucking hate them I just want closure.
Revisiting my college I was supposed to attend this fall beginning last week. Due to all my circumstances , I cannot attend unfortunately . I had to come back to pay off cancellation fee . I had to sign stuff too . So I am offically unenrolled :( . Coming back made me feel emotional knowing what I will miss out on. Seeing all these newly college students ready to learn and behind their careers🥺I know it’s something I was lookin forward too. Everyone is out here doing all sorts of activities , meanwhile I jus came back jus to leave for good because I won’t be attending . As much as I wanted to start college , I know I cannot do so due to mental health . It’s a lot that I’m going through ...especially with ocd being top factor to all my other fallbacks and problems. I’ve currently been in a loop so far Thars still lingering for over a month and I don’t really feel much on daily basis anymore . I feel disoriented 💔I don’t even feel like me anymore . There’s a lot I need to catch up on as an adult who’s starting late to everything . I’m not going anywhere in life 😔I jus wanna live normally without my ocd consuming me 24/7. I’m jealous of everyone
I’m not feeling right. It’s really like I don’t love him or I know I don’t love him. I was fine for awhile but was still dealing with the unwanted feelings/intrusive thoughts in the background. I still ask for kisses. I just don’t feel like I should touch him at all… I haven’t been crying but I started getting upset about how I’ve been feeling. I obsessed our issues so much I feel detached. I’m just worried I really don’t love him anymore…. 😞 it feels that real.
In about a week I will be doing my most difficult OCD Exposure which will include flying and it’s already eating away at me. I’m having a hard time sleeping. I wish more than anything i could make this anxIety go away . I’m extremely claustrophobic and have panic disorder. I’ve flown before but last time I was sat in the back and I began to panic and ended up getting off the plane prior to takeoff. I hate this uncomfortable feeling. I hate the sound of the door closing and feeling like I am trapped. I’m planning to take a half a klonopin,
I’m feeling super bad right now, my anxiety is super high i’m holding back tears i really don’t want to be gay but everytime i see a masculine lesbian it feels as if i actually like them and i’m terrified that i’ll recover from this but even after i’ll still feel this “attraction” towards masc lesbians and then i’ll end up dating them and when i try to imagine a life of being gay i can actually see it which triggers me so much because that’s not what i want at all i just want to live life like i did before this just happily with my boyfriend and i feel so guilty and bad for him bc i’m having these thoughts i keep felling like he deserves someone better someone please help because i feel so so so bad right now
someone please help.. i’ve been feeling anxious all day today bc i got extremely triggered last night idk what to do. the tightness in my chest is unbearable and i’m constantly crying. i tell myself im not in denial but i can’t the anxiety is too much.
Due to guilt and I guess other factors at play (like thinking about getting having another baby in the future) I have reduced my sertraline from 75mg to 50mg. Although I took medication while being pregnant with my daughter and now while breastfeeding her and although I was told it’s safe, I’m still feeling so much guilt and constantly questioning the what if there’s that one in a million, hundred thousand, hundred chance my daughter can get something or would develop differently because of medication…I feel selfish 😥😥😥 However, now I don’t know if it is a combination of reducing medication and being on my period and also starting online school while being a stay at home mom that I feel like I’m losing my sanity. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to reduce medication…like is it period or reducing medication or both. Truth now I can not differentiate myself from ocd 😞 I have been thinking whether I have borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder but I’ve been obsessing over it. At some points I’m relieved when I think I don’t have narcissistic personality disorder because it feels like a death sentence. In fact, I hear all the stories of adults who went under narcissistic abuse as kids and it breaks my heart and I become so fearful, it’s my biggest fear for my daughter to go through abuse. I would never ever want my daughter to go through the abuse I had to go through from my mom (diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia that she didn’t treat). I’m obsessing whether I’m a narcissist I’m scared, I don’t want to be, I want to be a great mom to my daughter, be present emotionally, and in every aspect of her life. I read the symptoms and I’m like omg I do that but sometimes I don’t and I freak out. Ex: being jealous of other people I feel the need to overly analyze every action around my daughter. For example if someone compliments my daughter I have to think twice on how to reply so I don’t sound narcissistic. Or if I took too long to pick her up because I was busy I would think “wow did I do that because I didn’t think her needs were as important.” I have to think about the things I say and do for my daughter. I have to think like ten times before I do anything for her… When it comes to borderline personality disorder, it truly feels like I mark a few things. I get intense feeling of abandonment, feeling things tenfold, more than I should, when something bad happens (it could be the least personal thing like a random small business going out of business and my heart breaks - like I think about what that family could lose and what if they are homeless and suffer)….I make up scenarios in my head and wallow in it. I have felt intense anger, in fact today I went to a few appointments and bleed through my pants and then I got home and bled through my other pair of pants and my patience just ran so so low. I raised my voice in annoyance to my daughter and I feel like a monster. This is also affecting my relationship with my husband (her father). It’s putting a toll between us. My constant quick to anger, intense annoyance at him, when things are going bad, I sometimes feel like I don’t have control of my emotions. I don’t know what to do. I do know that I want to be better, let go of these intense feelings of abandonment because literally everything starts when I feel the closest sign of “abandonment” that’s not even real. I don’t want to hurt anyone emotionally. I ask myself why can’t I just be a normal healthy human being. I know this is long post but I’m pouring my heart out here because I don’t know who to go to. If you read this thank you for your time and if you believe in God and prayer please pray for my family. I know prayer doesn’t solve everything but it brings comfort and gives a sense of direction —— hopefully that wasn’t a compulsion…ugh 😂🙏🏽💗
Has anyone had this type of ocd where you wonder if you r word your partner and if your partner r word you ? IVe been obsessing what if I r word my partner and I’ll think of moments wondering would that be considered r word and now it’s about what If my partner r word me and it’ll bring up moments and I wonder if that’s considered r word 😢😢😢😢😢😢this is the worst . Just wondering if I can message someone about it as well . And I’m scared to even talk about this bc someone might tell me it is r word . But someone might tell me it’s not . Idk . But I love my bf 😢😢 the fact that my mind has took it this far . Idk what to do anymore . Ima just vent cause I need to get this off my chest : a moment that popped up into my head is one day we were doing it and he’s always wanted to try a position that I wasn’t comfortable trying and I didn’t want to try it but this day he was convincing me to try it and I didn’t want to . I kept telling him that but I ended up giving in and tried it and I didn’t like it lol. But there’s also moments attached to that moment . Like before the moment I explained . Ima just say what position he w acted to try so it can make more sense but he wanted to try anal. So I have these moments o remember - like he stuck his thing in my butt and then I can see he kinda pushing it in even i vocally didn’t want to . But he didn’t put it all the way it but was I guess attempting to . But the thing is I’m not 100 percent sure he did this . Part of me feels like it but idk . But the part where he convinced me happened and I agreed to try it
I confessed my real events to the people I was afraid of confessing them to. They forgave me, but now my mind has come up with new issues, ie. "You forgot this one thing and you for sure need to let them know that, too." Or making me feel guilty for telling them in the first place too. The point is, even if I think something will settle it once and for all, it won't. Thats what OCD does, puts you on the endless quest for closure. And I should've known that based on everything I read. I thought it was the courageous thing to do though since I was so scared. But now it's REALLY time to learn ERP methods and how to treat the root issue. My life has had constant evidence of OCD and telling any more details to the same people would not only feel unnecessary but bringing up a past wound again. Until I address the root this will not solve by simply relying on telling other people and thinking that's the solution. I have a new perspective on guilt. It's only useful if you need to heal damage, but irrational if it only affects you to bring unnecessary damage to others who were unaffected. I've always felt unnecessarily guilty about everything in my life, so of course OCD latches onto this. Right now, insurance isn't an option and I can't afford to pay further uninsured for treatment on this platform. However my therapist provided me some resources before therapy ceased, including a book titled Needing to Know for Sure which has essentially flawless reviews. I believe I can still overcome this on my own with the proper tools, and/or perhaps find different therapy that will accept the insurance my school provides. Don't lose hope! Through this all I've realized how pervasive this disease is. It will literally doubt who you know you are and make you think you're the worst person ever. Just because you feel the distress and guilt, its not telling of actual actions you need to take. It's the mental illness making you feel these things. It says YOUR mistakes are unacceptable then accepts everyone else. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. But I'm not remaining here forever. I know I am a good person put on this world for a purpose, and OCD is trying to weigh me down on the past that doesn't even exist instead of me being proactive and making the changes that I was put here to make NOW.
Tw: Wrote in detail and a little Obssessions specific, if you take over other's obsessions then please be careful Hey everyone, hope y'all are doing alright. So I have had relationship OCD for quite a while and in fact one of my first OCD subtypes. And I've a boyfriend who I've been with for some time now and I really love him but, the Obssessions and concerns that I might not actually love him are returning (they were with my last boyfriend almsot two years ago, and it was a bad experience) however Currently with him I'm happy, but yesterday this Obssession got highly triggered, I'll say it in a little detail. So it was a voting time for my boyfriend at our college ( nothing important) and it's been going on for some time probably some weeks and, since we were both busy we hardly got to meet each other in the last few weeks because we lived a little far too. So, I voted for him only half of the days ( the voting was supposed to happen everyday, online) and I forgot most of the days...but I really was just too much engaged with myself, I've felt so much happier after so much, I was able to enjoy the slightest things...and spend my time on studies and doing things I love and There were some inner strees going in my life too...which I don't want to pressurize him about, when he's already so much stressed with studies. But now that It finally came to me that the voting is over and I didn't paid attention to it when it was going on, I feel terrible because of it. And I keep thinking whether I really love him or not, or maybe I'm just using him just because he makes me happy...he really does but what's the point if I don't even care about him and support him? As much as I don't want to believe it, I don't know what to do! At this point it doesn't even matter to be that my rocd Relapsed but instead I really am just stuck on those thoughts...like what if it really is real?Any help would be appreciated.
i messed up i went on google after WEEKS of not going bc i remembered something from the past and got triggered and googled and i got even more triggered after going on Quora. I don’t know why i did i knew i shouldn’t have but i have nobody to talk to rn. i’m spiraling so bad rn i’m so triggered idk what to do. please help.
I feel extremely detached and emotionless from reality, my head feels like its in a different space than everyone else. Forget rational thinking, i cant even think simple stuff, all my brain is thinking about is that Im trans and a girl and need to transition above all else and only then I will start to recover. How can I come back to reality? My perceptions feels very altered, i cant tell right from wrong, true from false regarding anything. I dont know what happened to my identity i grew up with, it feels *completely gone*. I feel like my mind is of a 5 y.o in a 23 y.o adult body, like my understanding/perception of the world and things is starting all over again. Im trying really hard to explain that last point correctly but if someone gets it please talk to me, im feeling low as hell.
I just started college Monday and now all of a sudden the ocd voices are so much louder saying that because of how dumb I was when I was younger and what I didn’t know better at the time and the reason I absolutely hate myself has resurfaced and I’m so anxious again and the “what if” thoughts are in my head saying I don’t deserve good things, happiness, success or to even be here. I hate when it gets like this because it usually takes a week or so to calm down. I can’t get like that again. I want to do good in school and heal but I feel as though I just don’t deserve to. That I don’t deserve to move forward even though I’ve never had bad intentions. Never. I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know what I was getting into and if I would of known then what I know now, it wouldn’t even be a problem. I hate myself for being so stupid back then. I’m 23 now and no matter who I have talked to whether it was my mom who knows everything and still tells me to move forward and forgive myself and then my therapist said the same thing. You’d think after a professional telling me it would of gotten better. Nope. It’s still there. Haunting me every single day. I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could go back and change everything 💔
Maybe I'm doing too much but my mind has been so freaking mean to people, especially my friends. Like they deserve bad things happening to them and my mind feels happy. I can't tell if these thoughts are mine or not cause they feel like my normal train of thoughts. I feel so saddened and honestly sickened by what it has been saying and its like I will have a mean thought that seems normal to my mind and a second right after I feel immense guilt and hate myself and I deserve nothing.... Just needed to vent again but idk if these are even intrusive thoughts at this point and I'm just a terrible person and going back to how horrible I treated people :(
Im getting overwhelmed by the complexity of everything in this world. Its giving me so much anxiety and depressive feelings that I cant understand how things are built and work, it makes me feel really stupid and helpless. Idk if im mentally backwards or what but im struggling to comprehend words. One example ill give is, how are wrappers made? How do letters appear on covers of objects, like books or bottles etc. It goes even further like how do people figure out how to do stuff? How do they make the right decision? How do they even know what to do? When i try to think about them my mind cant even begin to think. Like i have to google everything and even then comprehension and capacity to think is poor as fuck. Does any of this make sense? What am I dealing with? Sorry the post is very vague, if anyone wants to add similar experience please do
People, I need your help. I don’t understand social cues very well so I need to plan what next steps to take. I work with two guys who we’ll call Mike and Tim. So “Mike” asked me on a date and I said yes. Problem is I have feelings for “Tim” and he has a girlfriend, so I figured: Mike is a great guy and Tim is in a committed relationship, so why not go out with Mike. I got to know him for a few days but I wasn’t feeling any chemistry. My feelings were for Tim still and it’s been that way for a while. Mike messaged me today asking when I wanted to go out with him. I told him I wanted to talk to him instead-in person-so I can break the news. We work together on August 27 so I’m going to tell him then…but his birthday is September 2 and I already agreed to go to the party. So the question is did I do the wrong thing and regardless should i go to the party???
Hey all, I was wondering on what it looks like to you to accept your anxiety and let the intrusive thoughts flow? I’ve heard this a lot but to me this prolongs my anxiety. For context I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts of beastiality and wanting to go watch it and it’s giving me high anxiety, I’m trying to accept it but I feel like it’s prolonging the anxiety.
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