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My dad is homophofic and its a huge trigger for me. I am so angry at home some points because love is for everybody. But then this instruve thought come and say you sound like lesbian. It makes me anxious.

I have S-OCD. And it’s been affecting for the past 2-3 days after I watched a video on “Are you bisexual?”. Even though it literally doesn’t make sense, I got such an intense anxious reaction from it that it felt like I nearly became a different person. I have always been straight, yet recently the thing has plagued me. I spent all night trying to figure this out as happened before. I went on Reddit and some guy started gaslighting me and calling me a closeted homosexual. Lmao, my friends would accept me whatever I was but i know I’m not gay so how does that make sense? Anyway, because of porn escalation, my s-ocd has been strong. I started watching trans porn then “gay porn”. I hate this because it’s something I would never ever watch before. I felt like I’ve rinsed through everything. I’ve also felt an urge to try scat irl which is also new. I’ve also had p-ocd around the same time. Anyway, I nearly got an anxiety attack when a new video got recommended: hocd or bisexual? This was also another fear of mine. I do not like men. I do NOT like men. So why? This is so weird.

Hey guys so I was having good days last week . I was feeling connected towards my partner and felt the feeling of being in “love” again . On Thursday those feelings started to go away again and I don’t feel as anxious and now I’m starting to get intrusive thoughts that just love to stick . These thoughts are telling me that since I don’t feel anxious about these thoughts they must mean they’re true about my relationship and that I should leave . It makes me loose hope every time that I’ll get better . Does anyone else experience this ? Does anyone have any advice ? I’m really trying and when I think I’m almost there something happens in my head and I get depressed again :/

I just watched this internet skit of a girl in her 30s supposedly talking to her 20 year old self. There was a line that the 30 yr old said: “oh right, you think you’re still straight.” Which is implying that you can discover your “true” sexuality way later in life? I thought people who weren’t straight knew that from a young age? I’m very confused

How real and bad can hocd get?

my boyfriend has anger issues. i confessed yesterday that a guy asked my family and i if we were in the queue for the tills and i said no really quietly. but i felt guilt bc i got scared i found him attractive and that’s why i replied. is it bad if i did? anyway, my bf freaked out on me. my anxiety was sky high, i had a panic attack and almost called the ambulance, i threw up multiple times. he said he’s leaving me. he confessed to talking to other girls when we were on a break. he told me i’m a dirty wh*re “out of anger”. this isn’t the first time i’ve been called names. i feel so defeated. i don’t know if this is my rocd thinking this is really bad and toxic or if it actually is. i’m so exhausted mentally & physically. i’ve not kept food down nor have i slept properly.

I am so afraid that I can't get the will to live back and have to spend my whole life with this feeling, like even in good times I would choose to disappear if given the option. I keep asking myself why I am here, it would be better if a less broken soul could have the opportunity to live in my place, it feels like I am wasting a chance. It makes me sad for my family, they don't deserve someone like this as a family member, I wish I could make them proud instead of making them feel sorry for me, I know it's not a bad feeling but they are always reminding me how much I am loved, I didn't want them to feel obligated to say this all the time as an attempt to keep me here, I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but I didn't want them to be worried about me all the time. I can't get it out of my head that I am a project that didn't work out.

Does punching any object and counting to 1-16 when i see my triggers consider as a compulsion? Does this also consider as a compulsion whenever i saw someone that trigger or can trigger me i always bash them or find anything negative to them i always curse them......?

So my boyfriends birthday is coming up and I was thinking on asking his family if they’d help me surprise him for it. I was getting really excited because it’s the first birthday I’d celebrate, the surprise ‘party’ would be the next day from his birthday because he’s in school all day for his birthday, the next day would be where he’d have more time so we can celebrate. The problem is that his mom recently invited me to a big party, since I’m not allowed to go out late to parties she told me to invite an old friend of ours so I could go since my parents only let me out late if a close firmed goes, but we don’t really talk to her anymore because of this incident happened that I had a sleepover with her and two other friends and we kissed in a non romantic way, I was kind of forced to do it. I made a big deal out of it and told my boyfriend the next day because I felt what happened was wrong, after that I had real event ocd for about five months even tho my boyfriend forgave me I still felt guilty every day and still do sometimes. But at this point I avoid the girl at all cost and feel really uncomfortable because I remember everything and start to feel bad all over again. So I’m scared that if I tell his mom what I want to do she’s gonna tell me to invite our friends over and I don’t know how I’d tell her no because she obviously doesn’t know what happened and that we don’t talk to the girl anymore, i also wouldn’t want that to happen and for me to say ‘yeah sure’ and then lie and say I asked and nobody wanted to go just so I can avoid having to feel triggered by my ocd and deal with real event ocd again :( (I’m sure my boyfriend doesn’t care whether more people go or not he’d be content with just me and his family) but I’m started to get worried about that and want to avoid it at all cost but I’m upset because I really wanted to surprise him and now my ocd is latching on to this and I doubt I’ll get to do what I wanted :(

I fear of getting my first tattoo😓😓 What if I will regret it? What if I dont like it? How will I look in the future? I cant stop thinking about that. Is that OCD or not?

I’m afraid to catch HIV and give it to someone. I avoid a lot of things like shaking hands but I’m doing better to set one example. I’m afraid that people will have cuts or I always think that there’s going to be blood present or a syringe present. I’m afraid that if I touch anything in public that there is going to buy some chance be a syringe or that’ll step on a syringe or that I’ll stick my hand somewhere at work and there will be a syringe hidden. So it’s like this obsession of like thinking there’s going to be a needle anywhere and everywhere. I know it came from Having experienced people around me who got poked by accident and a public bathroom or in a hotel room so now that has stuck with me and it freaks me out even when I go to a public bathroom now. Does anyone go through this? I hate it

Social media is really kicking my butt. I keep seeing people who say "my SO loves me but I only like them" and the advice is to break up. I've been having trouble being into my feelings for most of my relationship and didn't realize it was ROCD until after it caused huge tension in my relationship (now repaired), but I still struggle to say "I love you" because it's hard for me to feel the strength in emotional connection that comes with love. Every time I get a negative thought about my bf or relationship, it just gets harder bc I feel like I only recognize negatives about him. He means so much to me and I adore him truly, but I don't understand why I'm struggling to feel it. Even when intimate, I just don't get it. It's like I'm kissing him, but my mind is elsewhere and I feel incredibly guilty. When we are talking, it feels like I'm bored and trying to focus even though it should come easy for someone you care to listen to and it makes me feel like I genuinely don't care for him which is false. I feel like dissociate sometimes because I'm there but just not present not really. I hear but don't listen. I'm forgetful. I am confused. Does anyone else have or has had this experience? What do you do? How do you fix it? Because at this rate, I'm just feeling like I'm making excuses for lack of feelings.

My POCD is really kicking my ass right now. I keep ruminating and I want to cry. I know I’m not that but the thoughts make it feel like that. This is the worst theme ever. Lately I been feeling guilty being around other people because of it. I need to do ERP but I’m afraid it won’t work. I feel like I’m too stuck. Sometimes I feel like it’s not even ocd. Like I remember researching and than started getting the thoughts. I just don’t know what to do. I been trying to sit with the thoughts but the anxiety is too much. Can you even fully recover from POCD? Like I want to continue my life the way it was before this but I just question everything. I’m so stuck

Is it OCD when when I’m trying to find a connection between my friend’s conversation with other guys that he wants to hook up with (his intention was only to hook up) and my conversation with a guy I went on a date with in the past (my intention was to date and get into a relationship if there’s a huge opportunity to it but I didn’t want to force it), and it did not work out between us. I was trying to see if 1) the structure of the conversation is almost similar (inviting someone on a date or a hook up, someone might have ghosted, opening up what your needs and wants, what person A wants is making person B uncomfortable or unsafe…) 2) If they’re the same or they have almost the same flow of conversation, the next thing I’ll do is to justify my actions from the past. That what I did was really valid. To see if my friend did the same thing too. Basically I’m trying see if - My friend’s convo = my conversation from the past with a guy I went on a date - friend’s action = my past action - Actions of my friend’s date = the actions of the guy I went on a date If so, then I can freely justify myself or find out if what I did was right and valid by asking questions to my friend like: - Did you say no because you felt unsafe? (Because I did that too.) - Was his communication clear on whether he just wanted to hook up or have a relationship or maybe something casual? (The guy I met did not do that, so that’s why it didn’t work for both of us.) I was trying to see if what happened was okay and that I didn’t lack in that area of interaction we had and I did everything I can, to the best of my abilities and wisdom that was given to me from Above, and I did what was best for me.

My therapist (not a NOCD therapist) said to me that the real event/false memory that I have been so preoccupied with and have been doing lots of compulsions for eg: mental review, rumination, analysis, replaying the event, neutralising, thought stopping, mental checking… is likely NOT OCD and is just worry. The reason he believes it isn’t OCD is because the obsession doesn’t really change, it’s fixed on the same real event and the uncertainty surrounding it. This feels hugely invalidating to me - I have an OCD diagnosis and this was hugely helpful for me to be able to digest and understand my obsession and compulsions. Because he thinks it’s just worry, it makes me feel like I’m an actually shit person and that I’m worried about it because it’s bad and it means I’m bad. Knowing OCD was part of the cycle helped me digest it and now I feel unsettled. I hope that makes sense and just feel really lost. I know that I’ve reduced compulsions a LOT due to my knowledge on OCD recovery and know how to treat OCD due to all the amazing publications from places like NOCD and OCD Excellence and lots of therapists on social media. So I think this has added to the problem of me not being seen as a typical case anymore. It’s hard because Real event and false memory are already a difficult subtype so this feels just scary and invalidating.

Hey all, I (21F) would really just like to talk to someone right now. Starting therapy soon, but having someone to talk to about my intrusive thoughts and obsessions would be really helpful. Thanks

So I’ve been suffering from pure ocd with many themes for about two years now. I’m doing so much better now than I did in the past that I would like to share what helped ME recover and could maybe help others. The whole idea is remove the ocd thought or feeling from your awareness to do this 1. Stop ruminating. It may sound obvious and of course we all wish we could just stop. But literally just stop. It’s going to feel extremely weird and uncomfortable at first. And you’re going to feel like you literally have to do it as the more you resist thinking about something the more you want to think about it. You’re brain will get tired and the urge to ruminate will fade away. But you must resist I promise the more you resist the easier it becomes . To the point where it becomes easy to just instantly stop the moment it starts 2. Ignore all your thoughts and feelings when it comes to your ocd and it’s themes. By ignore I mean literally don’t interact with the thought or feeling AT ALL. A thought can’t leave your awareness if you keep interacting with it. Which means don’t try to suppress it because that’s a form of interacting with it. Don’t argue with it don’t accept it, don’t reject it, don’t check if you’re doing compulsions or not, don’t check or monitor it, DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it’s existence. 3. While you’re literally doing nothing about the thought let it become a background thought. Don’t interact with it. focus on something else let it sit there in the background for however long it wants and do nothing about it. Imagine the thought as a headache or something that’s there but it doesn’t bother you it’s in the background and you’re focusing on something else. The thought will eventually begin to fade away but don’t acknowledge it fading away just let it be let it happen in the background and focus on something else. It’s going to feel weird and be hard at first but it will get easier over time all you’re doing is removing the thought or feeling from your awareness. “Sitting with the thoughts” “Imagining thoughts as clouds” “Leaning in to the uncertainty” “Feel the anxiety” Etc. All these things you’re told to do are teaching you to habituate and accept your thoughts. What helped me with ocd is not habituating and accepting the thoughts but not interacting with the thoughts in any way at all and redirecting my focus. Eventually they started to become extremely easy to ignore. Hope this helps 👋

How is it possible that I could be bi if I’m not comfortable with the thought of liking the same sex and I don’t want to be with a guy in any way. The thing that’s taking me up right now is ruminating to see if I liked my best friend and it has eaten me alive it’s a lot stress but how could’ve I have liked him when I wasn’t even over my ex how can I like I like him if im not comfortable with it, I want to be with a women and just a women but my thoughts are alway saying otherwise I don’t want to be with a dude I don’t want to like dudes I don’t want anything with em romantically nor sexually. I hate how my ocd is hyper fixated on my best friend and I hate it. I’ve always wanted to be with a women even since a kid I smacked a girls butt, I’ve always dated women and I loved it and was comfortable with it, can someone please help me? I hope I’m not bi I hope this all apart of my ocd cause I’m constantly stressing and obsessing over this I hate my thoughts I really fucking hate them I just want closure.

Revisiting my college I was supposed to attend this fall beginning last week. Due to all my circumstances , I cannot attend unfortunately . I had to come back to pay off cancellation fee . I had to sign stuff too . So I am offically unenrolled :( . Coming back made me feel emotional knowing what I will miss out on. Seeing all these newly college students ready to learn and behind their careers🥺I know it’s something I was lookin forward too. Everyone is out here doing all sorts of activities , meanwhile I jus came back jus to leave for good because I won’t be attending . As much as I wanted to start college , I know I cannot do so due to mental health . It’s a lot that I’m going through ...especially with ocd being top factor to all my other fallbacks and problems. I’ve currently been in a loop so far Thars still lingering for over a month and I don’t really feel much on daily basis anymore . I feel disoriented 💔I don’t even feel like me anymore . There’s a lot I need to catch up on as an adult who’s starting late to everything . I’m not going anywhere in life 😔I jus wanna live normally without my ocd consuming me 24/7. I’m jealous of everyone

I’m not feeling right. It’s really like I don’t love him or I know I don’t love him. I was fine for awhile but was still dealing with the unwanted feelings/intrusive thoughts in the background. I still ask for kisses. I just don’t feel like I should touch him at all… I haven’t been crying but I started getting upset about how I’ve been feeling. I obsessed our issues so much I feel detached. I’m just worried I really don’t love him anymore…. 😞 it feels that real.