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Can people please share some stories of recovery? I’m feeling so helpless at the moment and need desperately some inspiration to keep on going. I really can’t see the way out right now 😭

Everything around me is giving me stress, from the way I touch my screen to every color/number I see. I’m so scared i’m going to lose everyone I love. I even have it when I see random people on the street, I get a tought like ‘don’t look at that person or they will die.’ And then I accidentally look and feel scared the whole day because I can’t check it. Then I will ‘punish’ myself to make up for it. So for example I don’t get to do something I really wanted to do, because then they will ‘really die’. I am losing myself and I just want to be the person I want to be, doing the things I love. But everytime i’m enjoying, something bad is happening. I really needed to get this off my chest.

***TW***does mention forms of harassment and sexual abuse I really don’t know what to do I want to vent about something that’s heavy on my mind because it’s something I’m dealing with at work and I need advice or an opinion I guess. There’s a guy I work with that has a huge crush on me and he’s mentioned he likes me multiple times and he makes very strange comments (not sexual but relationship related if that makes sense) and I’ve told him multiple times that I’m not interested and I only like him as a friend. I’ve had to repeat myself a bunch of times and it’s not sinking in for some reason. I’m trying to be a friend because he’s a very lonely guy who’s 14 years older than me (I’m 23 and he’s 36) and he’s never had a real girlfriend and he’s desperate and I try to give him friendly advice to let things come to him on their own time and not to force it. He’s all the time making comments about me being a girlfriend or wife and he doesn’t leave me alone at work. I went part time for a little bit in the beginning of this semester of college and on the days I would work I couldn’t get away from him. He was there like a lost puppy for the entire weekend and I have been just letting it be because he gets pouty and mad when I tell him to leave me alone and then I feel bad being the too nice of a person I am and then I am the one that ends up apologizing and then he does it again. It just keeps going and it’s so frustrating because he doesn’t do his job and the things he is asked to do in his department (we work retail) and he will slack off just so he can spend every second of every day around me and I can’t say anything because he is also a person who likes to run his mouth and when the managers talked to him before about harassment (because this has been going on for a while now) they warned him that he could get fired for it and he went around telling people that I was trying to get him fired for harassment and it turned back on me and I never under any circumstances want to get anyone fired it’s what the managers decided to say because of harassment policy. Earlier today I told them again because it’s gotten to the point he’s getting kind of touchy feely but not really in a sexual way I guess like trying to hold my hand or put his hand on mine or lean on me or put his head on my shoulder and even the other day we were talking in the break room at work and he just randomly was behind me as I was sitting down and started massaging my shoulder and it made me uncomfortable but when I was telling the managers about what has been going on they told me I needed to tell them sooner and that it needs to be taken care of and I broke down crying because I had flashbacks of when I was a minor and I was touched inappropriately by someone a lot older and I won’t go into detail but it was kind of similar in a way and I just started sobbing in front of the managers and the store manager who I look up to as a brother and he thinks of me like a sister left the room because I was crying and I guess it made him leave and the assistant manager who actually does know the situation of when I was a minor and dealing with what was I think to be sexual abuse, she talked to me and calmed me down because I told her I was triggered because of the guy at work and what I had to deal with for about 5 years as a teenager and being so afraid to speak up about it because I was afraid I was the problem and that everyone was going to hate me because I let it happen for so long and I went along with it because I thought it was normal and that because it was family they loved me and it didn’t matter but I spoke up today and they are going to talk to him but I just know it’s going to come back on me. That he will somehow lie or make excuses because he doesn’t take responsibility ever for anything he does wrong he just blames people. I just feel like I’m the problem, that it’s all in my head, I’m overthinking it and I should keep my mouth shut. I’m actually tempted to tell the managers not to do anything about it so it doesn’t cause so much drama because he is a friend and I don’t want anyone to be mad or upset. I don’t know what to do. I’m overwhelmed, scared he might snap or do something or get angry and hurt me or someone else I don’t know at this point of the OCD is just latching onto the situation and blowing things out of proportion because of fear I just know I can’t sleep, I’m really down and I don’t want to go to work anymore. But I’m in college and it’s the most flexible job I know of that’s working with me on my crazy schedule that I’m now back to being full time on and a full time student. I’m so lost, overwhelmed, triggered, anxious, upset. I just need an opinion. What do I do? I really just wish I could leave and never come back but I can’t do that right now. I can’t afford to…

how do you all deal with going to work while having ocd? i have to go to work tomorrow for the first time in a while and i’ve been obsessing really bad the past couple of weeks. i’m scared i won’t actually be able to function or anything because all i’ve been doing every day all day has been obsessing. i’m really nervous. any advice will be appreciated.

What do I do when my HOCD makes me feel like I’m in denial and that I’m not romantically attracted to women, and the intrusive thoughts are there during these intrusive feelings? 😞😞😞

The anxiety really suppresses appetite

I don’t know what to do anymore. Its gotten to the point where I think about ending my life in detail every day. I would admit myself to the hospital but because I have type 1 diabetes I can’t (to explain it quickly- I have a rare form of type 1 that is extremely uncontrollable, the only people who know how to treat it correctly is me and my endocrinologist. I have been to the ER so many times (so they could save my life) and they ended up almost killing me because they don’t know what they’re doing and don’t listen to me) if I was admitted to a psych ward there is no way they would let me be in charge of my diabetes because insulin can kill you and they’d be afraid I’d try and do that on purpose. So I have been living in hell ever since. Anti depressants don’t work for me. Every therapist I’ve ever had has told me I need to move out of my house and thats what’s causing this mental torment. What has caused my OCD, anxiety and my depression is every person in my family that I am (and am not) living with. I don’t know what to do.

trigger warning is for those who may find menstruation talk distressing. i have irregular periods. last time i checked, no health issues linked. just due to probably stress. (i do want to get an update on it tho, not out of any fears but i just kinda wanna know what's going on). i know that periods cause spikes in ocd and anxiety. my current theme started on the first day of my last period. it'd been almost exactly one month since when my anxiety spiked recently. i have had no period, and no physical period symptoms that i usually get like pains. but i wonder if the anxiety spike is linked to the period that didn't happen, since period symptoms can appear without bleeding sometimes. does anybody else with irregular periods experience ocd spikes without physical period symptoms? just something i'm curious about, so i can be prepared for possible anxiety spikes when my period is ✨supposed✨ to happen, or as much as i can when irregular periods can really mess any sense of cycle up. i'd google it but google keeps trying to diagnose me with stuff 🥲

I broke up with her this morning because I couldn’t feel what I was supposed to feel all I felt was anxiety. I wasn’t excited to see her anymore, I felt sick all of the time and I couldn’t think of being in the relationship anymore without being nervous and anxious.. two weeks ago I was absolutely in love with her. We talked and I held her while she cried. And for some reason I felt closer to her then, then I had all week this week. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t make it past 4 months.

My fam says my fears are not their problems and that they can’t help me anymore. Mom just said she’s done and that I need to leave the house. I know they’re right. But now I feel like I have no one.

Yesterday someone gave me the analogy of a “happiness scale” in a relationship, detailing that if my happiness ever drops below 60% the relationship is probably not worth it. I don’t disagree with the theme of their message which is that I shouldn’t be with a person that does not add joy to my life or rather I shouldn’t be with a person who subtracts joy from my life, but I don’t love the scale and percentage analogy because I think relationships fluctuate and also a statement like that is so triggering for my OCD lol. Recently I have not been feeling super fulfilled in my relationship but also in any field of my life for that matter; I am in a place with my anxiety and depression where I feel a bit aimless. I am not someone who hides from my truth, so I recognize that if solely my partner was making me unhappy I would ultimately end things no matter how difficult that may be. But that line gets blurred with intrusive thoughts, because lately things have been hard in my relationship and kind of as a result of the ROCD I experience that I unleash onto my partner. Even as I type this out, I think, “what if my partner is the reason for all of this” even though I’ve been struggling with OCD long before I met him. I told them that my version of that statement is more along the lines of “would the healthiest version of myself be with this person” because it’s not as black and white in my opinion. Does anyone have thoughts on this?

And advice/coping when stuck in this need to know?

I came across manifestation a month ago on Tiktok then found Neville Goddard and Joseph Murphys work. Basically whatever belief/thought/feeling you have will manifest into your "3D" world (aka outer reality). But it confuses me. Every negative thought/feeling/belief or intrusive thoughts in general never ever come true for people. It's mostly the fear and anxiety that causes those thoughts and question your assumptions about things that aren't even true or unnecessary. It leads to searching things on google or social media - compulsions and rumination as well. People with OCD like me with have a single negative feeling and thought for MONTHS on end but never come true? So why do people on manifesting forums always say "you attract your fears" "every thought creates" "everything happens because of you" ? This seems stressful for people with mental health issues but they say you can always "revise" that or they don't believe in mental health at all. They think a repeated affirmation will be planted into your subconscious and will manifest but what about people who repeat affirmations or doubts in relations about their ocd (HOCD for example - “Does this mean I’m gay, bi, straight, etc?” over and over again for months or ROCD thinking how much your partner doesn't love you anymore for a year just worrying they will leave you) they'll say "oh yeah that'll form a belief and manifest into your reality!" but huh? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Is there someone who has self harmed in the past that would be Ok discussing this? I used to hurt myself out of frustration a lot but i had gotten better. More recently i had gotten in a weird zone when i am more aware of wht i'm doing but did it anyway. I dont know if it's for attention (that was the thought around it in my family growing up) Why did i do it? Maybe to show on the outside wht's going on inside? (I really want validation for other stuff. I'm not good with words to tell wht happened. But there was disfunction growing up and i think it's like cptsd is. where it's a lot of little things not one clear trauma. ) I'm such a mess. Sorry. And my counselor has shingles so he's unavailable to meet right now. I can txt him but i wanted to be in person with them when i bring this up. Guess i'm wondering about my motive.

i feel like my ocd has found evidence from the past that confirms my intrusive thoughts. i’m so scared that everything it says is real. i don’t know what to do anymore. i actually can’t do this anymore. i feel like i’m just a fraud.

Does anyone struggle with derealization mixed with existential ocd which just gets so bad I feel like I paralyzed because I can’t understand the world I’ll looking at. Absolutely terrible

Anyone else literally got like no friends. Not just saying “omg I have no friendsss” but like literally no friends? I’m 21 and since I was 5 and struggled with ocd I’ve never been able to hold a friendship. Anyone relate?

I thought I was finally over my sleep OCD but it was triggered all over again and it’s come back even worse than before. I even had to go to the ER so they could knock me out for while because I hadn’t slept in 4 days. I got out of the hospital two days ago and I’m terrified I’ll never be able to fall asleep on my own again. I’m crying typing this because I was doing so much better with my NOCD therapist. I just want to be normal again

I can’t afford nocd due to change in insurance. I am trying to find a therapist, outside of nocd, that works with ocd but also helps me with other life issues I have. It’s been hard finding someone who does both. Has anyone been successful with this and do you have any tips on what i should be searching for?

Anyone taking part in no nut November? Lol. I’m wondering if it could have any effect, good or bad, on sexual OCD themes