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Does anyone take more than 150mg of Wellbutrin for their ocd?

maybe it's just anxiety, I don't know but for years I've had a horrible worry that I'm still not financially independent and still live with my mum though technically it's normal because I was a student (uhhhh I feel so much shame writing about it...like, what if you all will think that I'm just not mature and simply did not want to come out of my comfort zone for all these college years) so yeah the thing is I'm 23 and working and currently living in a different country alone (!) so seems like the issue is kinda solved right?? )) now I keep getting thoughts like "but it's still too late to become independent!!!!! I should have done it earlier!!!!! it's still wrong that I haven't started working/moved out earlier!!!" and I feel very guilty bc of this sorry if it sounds chaotic, I hope I made myself clear I suffer from perfectionism, and this is one of its manifestations idk if it's OCD or not, maybe just trauma but it sure has been nagging my brain for years and felt like a nightmare bc of guilt and shame I've always thought that going to work and moving out would not change anything because, well.. you know why)) but my brain kept saying that I'm just lazy, immature and irresponsible (even though I've worked on and off since I was 18, mum always welcomed me home, I lived in a dorm since I was 17 and in fact came home for a long period of time bc of covid) fast forward five years - I'm working thousands of kilometers from home (refugee), taking care of myself and ready to send money home any minute and yet here we are)) guilt is still present because I haven't started earlier??????? I'm so tired it's only one of many thoughts

Has anyone here experiences anything similar (TW fears about SA) I have had ocd my whole life and have been dating my boyfriend for 8 years. When I started dating my boyfriend my ocd started revolving around our relationship (I would get intrusive thoughts like is he cheating on me? Stuff like that) this all happened 4 years ago. I had some really stressful life stuff come up - I transferred universities and he had to move for a couple months which caused me to have a lot of anxiety and ocd. It was pretty much just standard ocd checking things and then free floating anxiety. Anyways after I went to go visit him I was feeling sad bc I missed him and was having lots of just generalized anxiety. This happened during the start of the me too movement and I read this article about a girls boyfriend assaulting her. This gave me such bad anxiety for some weird reason (I’ve never been assaulted) and I got an intrusive thought “what if this has happened to you” I started getting bad false memory ocd about things that did not happen and I thought I was actually loosing my mind bc my ocd had never been THIS bad before. I couldn’t figure out what was going on but could not stop obsessing over rape/assault. I started doing all this research and was so scared this could have somehow happened to me. It would change my memories around and I knew none of it had happened but it gave me such bad anxiety and I would have ocd loops which created a lot of false memories. Eventually my boyfriend moved home ( I didn’t tell him any of this I literally tried to ignore it bc I didn’t realize this was ocd I really thought I was loosing it) and everytime we would have sex I would have lots of intrusive thoughts (I wanted to have sex! But my ocd was so bad) and would kind of act weird. This leads me to the current episode I have been obsessing over- me and my boyfriend were in bed and he asked if I wanted to have sex. I said maybe later (I didn’t mind if we had sex or not but my ocd was telling me to say no so i said later) We were laying watching a movie and about to go to sleep and he asked if we could just put it in and not have sex. And I said yes sure! (This was not coerced at all, he wasn’t constantly badgering me for sex or anything and I truly didn’t care and was totally fine with it ) anyways we were laying there and I said “are we having sex yes or no” bc I’m pretty sure I wanted to know if we were going to have sex. ( just to clarify I asked this he did NOT just start having sex w me or anything he was just laying pretty sure he was falling asleep , he may have moved a bit and that is also why I may have asked if we were gonna have sex but he did NOT start any of it) (also to add this was a non threatening situation I could have said no at any time and he would have stopped) when I asked he started moving a little but he didn’t say yes or no - just kind of initiating it - I then started having bad intrusive thoughts “why didn’t he give u an answer” “you need an answer to continue to have sex” “am I allowed to be having sex now bc I said maybe later” “is this actually rape?! U need an answer” and then I turned to him (we were laying on the side) and basically stopped it bc I turned and said “are we having sex yes or no?” And he said yes yes it feels good and I said okay. And we had sex like normal. - I remember I said to myself to my ocd “oh my god it’s not shut up” This whole thing is giving me anxiety bc it’s so weird and awkward and my ocd is trying to tell me somehow it is rape when I’m pretty sure it is not. I have thought about this thought for so long I have lost actual parts of the memory and it’s giving me extreme anxiety. I keep reading articles about ppl who have actually been raped and then it gives me anxiety bc it all seems so subjective and my ocd is like how do I know what if I was and didn’t realize it and then it’s really bothering me that I had the intrusive thought is this rape? But logically if I wanted it to stop I would have said I don’t wanna do anything instead of STOPPING and turning towards him and saying are we having sex yes or no? It doesn’t even make sense and I realize this but it’s becoming so bad I can’t think straight and it’s turned into a giant false memory. I can’t even remember correctly bc my ocd is adding in false feelings to. And my ocd is making me ruminate over it and keeps asking me why did I ask if we were gonna have sex? And I’m pretty sure it’s bc I wanted to know if we were gonna have sex or not and that’s it!!! I even was the one who initiated it by saying are we gonna have sex! I even talked to my boyfriend about this and he confirmed this is what happened and I told him my intrusive thoughts and it made him really sad and he told me it’s making him feel sick that I am thinking these things. I guess I’m just asking is any of this even bad? My ocd keeps going around in a loop and won’t stop. I keep having all these different variations of the event and it gives me such bad anxiety and it won’t stop. Im scared something bad happened even tho I know deep down it didn’t and it’s driving me crazy. I have a therepist and am working on all of it (he knows everything) but my ocd is still so so bad. I guess I am kind of asking for reassurance bc it’s giving me such bad anxiety. I just want it to stop

What exactly to false attractions feel like? I was doing good today and I pulled up an article of some new elected politicians and looked a picture of one of them and immediately my heart started racing and I was filled with anxiety. I went straight to trying to reassure myself of attractions to women, previous crushes, and other forms of reassurance. Then I tried to go back to the article to prove I wasn’t attracted, I thought like ERP but all thats done is massively increase anxiety and I feel like im tail spinning a bit.

Does anyone else feel like there intrusive thoughts go away when the are deeply involved in some sort of work? Then when I come out of it, my mind goes straight back to my rocd. It makes me feel like it’s not actually rocd.

My contamination ocd makes me think I’ve put people at risk and that they are going to die and that it’s going to be my fault and that this makes me a terrible horrible person who deserves to die. I want to talk to my mom or sister so badly and tell them how I’m feeling, but I don’t want them to worry about me and think I’m at risk of harming myself. I truly do not want to hurt myself and will not do it. I just feel like I don’t deserve a good life. How do I approach these feelings? I’ve tried talking to the 988 crisis hotline but it didn’t really help because I don’t really think they understand ocd.

Just asking... Did anyone's doctor order any blood tests to see if any deficiencies exists etc? For me this started to get out of control after covid 19 when I was physically quite ill Im wondering if it's linked together??

How are you sure that what you're thinking is false memories OCD? Have you ever thought, what if actually these are not false memories, what if actually you remember you did something wrong from beginning, but at that time you suddenly forgot or you are in denial. then, have you ever feel like, suddenly some thoughts that relate with the things you afraid of comes (its hazy but you feels familiar) and you think its your real memory come back. even though the thoughts / that memory never appeared before, but after thinking / rumination about this for months - years, suddenly you feel that memory or thoughts shows that all this time my thoughts are real not false memories ocd. I often read, if you do something terrible, you don't have to try to remember, you’’ll remember about it. but I'm always afraid, what if that time I'm too tense or scared, then I forget about the truth, then I say this is a false memory OCD, whereas all of this is real. :(

So I’ve had harm ocd and had switched over to health ocd. Now i feel like it’s both and i don’t know what to do. My mind is pinning everything against me and is telling me that I’m a horrible person based off of previous experiences. Along with extreme health concern ocd my harm intrusive thoughts are now back. And they feel so much more real. ☹️ so elementary school and middle school were fine for me. I had my group of friends and my best friends and everything and it was fine. High school however was different. All of my friends from my previous schools went to a different school than me. So i was all on my own. When i was younger it wasn’t hard to make friends but when i was in a high school i don’t why but nothing ever clicked for me. Like i wasn’t really willing to make any friends because i didn’t think anyone liked me because i was ugly and overweight, so i just hung by myself. Now mind you i still did extra curricular activities and had friends from that so it’s not like i was a complete loner. However today my mind is telling me that i was a loner and am just like Dahmer because i was a loner. I don’t know anything about him i never seen the show but i heard that he was a loner. So now my mind is telling me that maybe I’m secretly like him because i was a loner In school. And i never really had a problem with being alone, i just did my own thing and went about my business. But now I’m freaking out because now my mind is turning This against me 😭😭

Anyone else had ocd about wondering if your partner r word you ? Like certain things happen during me and my partner sex that I question and wonder if it’s r word and bothers me throughout the day and it’s awful . I love my bf but what if what if what if . Ik “what if” is an ocd thing but what really if ?😭😭😭😭😭

Hello everyone, I'd like to start off by saying that I haven't been diagnosed with anything. But I have been having obsessive thoughts about my relationship for a long time and looking for stuff about ROCD has sometimes helped me, so I'm here now, I hope that's alright... I'm stuck in this overthinking cycle again and I feel like I need to write it out. Me and my person met through a dating app and have only known each other for 3 months. We haven't met in real life yet. Now that I write that, it already sounds ridiculous. I've also never been in a romantic relationship before. I think I do have a history of overthinking my relationships overall, though. Long before I met her, I thought "One day, I'm going to meet someone perfect. And then I'm going to ruin everything, stop liking them and hurt them, because that's what I do." When we first talked, I had a good feeling about the connection, everything went smoothly and I was genuinely interested in her. We continued talking for 2 weeks and I started catching feelings for her. Talking to her seemed right, I could be myself and I had this urge to be with her in every way and get to know her more. We laughed a lot and being vulnerable with her was always a deep experience, I simply felt connected to her and like we understood each other, which I don't get often with new people. I felt the same way, even more intensely, when we spoke on the phone for the first few times. I really valued our connection and couldn't believe how good it was, we also found each other physically attractive. At first I was careful because everything was new to me, but I thought I was falling in love. I found out that she had the same feelings. Everything was like in a dream, I liked her looks, her jokes, her way of reacting to things, her voice etc. and she liked all those things about me too. But then I started having thoughts like... What if she doesn't like me when we meet? What if she finds me too unattractive/mean? What if I'm not good enough for her? What if what we have is just an illusion, because we've never met? This is too good to be true. When I had these thoughts, I still had the feeling that I really like her. I was never so sure about anyone. However, the thoughts then turned to... What if I stop liking her? What if we actually don't understand each other that well? Have I even EVER liked her? Oh no, our humour is actually different. Oh no, we've got different interests and I find hers weird. (Even though I probably wouldn't if it were interests of my friends or so.) Oh no, even though we agree on a lot of stuff, she's got different ways of thinking. We look good on paper but I don't feel a connection anymore. Our connection isn't that great. Is this what I've been looking for? We should break up. I don't feel happy around her anymore. Am I forcing things? Is she really that attractive to me? Is she smart enough? Is she not too cringey? Is she not "too much"? Why do I like all of the things she is when I write them down, but I don't actually like them obout her specifically? I stopped feeling like my authentic self with her, I stopped feeling the feelings I had for her and I stopped being genuinely interested. I didn't know why, she hasn't changed, she's still the person I fell for. Is it just self-sabotage? Or did I just find out more about her and lose interest because we are, in fact, not compatible? I started feeling constantly guilty and horrible. Once or twice I shared my thoughts with her. Once, she really reassured me and the thoughts went away, but only for two days. I don't share them with her anymore, because I don't want to stress her out or hurt her. She's continued being extremely loving to me. And I'm being loving towards her, I'm only trying to say things when I mean them, but I just don't always feel in love, or like I even care. And when I do feel like that, I instantly worry that I'm just forcing things. She's basically perfect, she's got so many green flags and treats me so well. She's everything I've ever wanted, but I don't feel anything and that breaks my heart. There are times when I get better, when I relax and I can see a bit of clarity and hope. Like when we have the same thought, share a laugh or when she smiles at me and I shortly feel so happy inside, before my worries arrive and ruin the moment. My brain analyzes every single thought and feeling. It's like I'm trying to catch myself not feeling like I should. All these sentences like "if it was meant to be, it wouldn't be that hard" or "if you know, you know" really stress me out. These worries have been interfering with my life, there are almost constant. I feel alright -> I analyze and have a thought -> I start overthinking -> I feel horrible, have thoughts about her that make me guilty, I think we should break up -> I look for reassurance (googling, texting friends, listing reasons why she's a good match) -> I get reassurance and feel alright again. And maybe I'm alright for two whole days - but then we talk on the phone, and it's nice, but I don't feel anything more, I don't feel like I "should", especially since we should still be in the honeymoon phase, I don't feel lust or love - so I start to think why, and it snowballs and the cycle starts again. I can't tell what caused me to feel the way that I feel. I don't know if I could have ROCD or if I'm just looking for excuses because in reality I just don't care about her and I can't bare the image of hurting someone who likes me so much and has a pure heart. I wish I could feel normal and just be happy with her... Whether or not I have ROCD, I know that I shouldn't look for reassurance here... At least I got it off my chest for now...

Idk how to feel: I know in my own perfect world I want to be married. But my body and mind convince me otherwise. I get aroused by other men, and it is pleasurable, but deep down I wish it wasn’t there.

I’ve seen a lot of things talking about how ocd attacks what you value most and I’m trying to figure out what that is, I suffer from ROCD AND HOCD. If anyone suffers from the same thing or may know what those people who suffer from those themes usually value please let me know, I’m still trying to figure out what I value the most to get a better understanding of these themes

So im getting my wisdom teeth out tommorrow which ive always worried about. My tooth kept getting infected so i was on antibiotics but i just checked and now they all look infected and im scared because i have been feeling super sick over my full body lately and ive never felt this way and im terrified that something is going to go terribly wrong. I just feel it in my gut, but if i dont get them out ill keep getting infections and im worried ill die. Either way im convinced i will die and i just know it by how sick i feel all over. Im getting shakes and sweats and i wish i could get a guarantee before my surgery that nothing is wrong because i bet they will find out im not ok

Hi guys, Has anyone in the UK Used NOCD and can give me an overview of how treatment went - thanks x

I have been thinking about the negative consequences of long-term anti-depressant use on my organs. I keep telling myself that I'm going to get liver failure, or kidney disease, or something else like that, because of it not being a natural substance. But I haven't got a choice, I require it for a quality of life, as vitamins and supplements never seemed to do the trick for very long (probably just placebo effect at the very most). I may even be on this synthetic stuff for the rest of my life. I have specifically been on Escitalopram in the past (taken for 3 whole years, and on the maximum dose). I'm on Zoloft now, I needed a switch after the unexpected addition of a new mental illness (which at the time, I couldn't really afford to get any worse, couldn't even imagine it. But I guess everything is a learning experience or happens for a reason), and because it is more in alignment with my unique array of mental illnesses and their symptoms, which is best described as a fluctuation I've had between feeling depressed and then only neutral - due to either a mild, a-typical expression of bipolar disorder that doesn't include the elated, high, or "up" side - as if only swinging halfway, or PMS, or both (there is no longer a "drastic" change in my mood from the beginning of a month to the end of it, or it at least isn't as noticeable, suggesting that my meds are working to some degree). I also have OCD in the mix, otherwise why would I even have this app (major obvious 😂), and as of recently the onset of PTSD from being bullied. Zoloft is apparently only slightly stronger, with both brands of medication still being considered under "the milder ones of their class." But how are my insides going to be functioning in the next 10 years from now? Or 20? Or 30? Ugh. So much bodily wear and tear can accumulate over decades... * Side Note: My PTSD is also improving, because I was finally able to get justice, closure, and advocation. I still get a little nervous, tense, and on edge anytime I hear the landline ring, a knock at the door, or the doorbell, at the thought that it might be "her," a.k.a "that b*tch" again. But this will fade more and more over time, until I eventually just find these sound cues exciting like before. A sign of company rather than a threat.

Today I don’t care about my ocd I’m on the upward spiral and genuinely just have been ignoring my thoughts like I could care less. This hasn’t happened in a long time. Feels weird but also good. I’m even writing this having intrusive thoughts and just letting them pass. anyone every have these days and then bam the next day it’s hard to ignore the thoughts ? i get these days every now and then and it’s a great feeling, but also feels weird bc I’m used to my brain analyzing every thought or action I do.

But it’s so difficult when you have extremely horrible real events OCD connected to POCD that’s based on extremely horrible real events you did when you were 13… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were… I really didn’t…

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We’re both Juniors in high school he’s currently taking college classes while I’m still trying to pass the tsi exam to take college classes. I’m 17 and he’s 16 years old. The problem is that recently we got into this argument or I don’t know what exactly it is but what happened was that I got upset or sad I was hurt by something that I saw on his Instagram messages I then texted him saying I wanted space but I didn’t specify on why I wanted space and he asked me why and it took me a while to say the reason and he said that he’s mentally exhausted when I don’t say the reason that on why I’m upset because he doesn’t know what he did wrong and during the time that I don’t open up he’ll get anxiety or panic attacks he also said that he’s not hiding anything and I sorta believe him but he said that all those times that him and I argue or don’t communicate exhausted him mentally but forward I understood and I’m currently trying to not cause any problems anymore to not lose him but he said something that from his perspective we should be breaking up but that he doesn’t want to. He also mentioned that couples should love each other first before loving someone else and that they should be mentally prepared and oh he also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t wanna worry about anything but he knows it’s not possible but anyways fast to today we were having a normal day when lunch hit. He started with i have a question but it’s not true it’s not real it doesn’t mean it’s true all those type of things and then he said hypothetically not true and all he kept saying not true he said what would you do if we broke up? And since then I’ve been struggling all day because I feel like he’s gonna leave me.

Hey y’all! Starting Zoloft today, I need some encouraging & reassuring words. I’ve never taken an SSRI before but it’s gotten to the point where I want to try it. I have intrusive thoughts surrounding taking new medications because of an incident about 6 months ago so im so extremely nervous.