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My nervous system is on high alert.

When things are messy or seem messy I freak out. Everything has to be perfect and the way I like it and the way I feel its supposed to be. But today my house was getting renovated and we had to move all the furniture around and clump it together and it made me all overwhelmed all weekend and I was lashing out and being difficult to anyone that interacted with me because nothing was how it was supposed to be. I cried multiple times and I just couldn't help it. Sometimes for no reason at all I wonder if I actually have OCD, like maybe I'm faking it or I have a couple problems with how I keep my room clean and I'm overreacting and turning it into something much bigger. But I know that's stupid because it's obvious that I have severe OCD. Today is the kind of day that's kind of like a wake up call. Today I didn't doubt the fact that I have OCD and I struggled a lot. And then when it was all said and done I obsessed over putting everything back in it's place and perfecting everything like I always do. And then I was fine like it never happened, except for the fact that I know how triggered I was today and how much I struggled and wanted to completely breakdown and scream. OCD is a serious mental illness and today was proof of that. Today was proof that I'm not as okay as I thought I was and that i shouldn't brush off my OCD as something that isn't important or serious. Thank you to anyone who listens

my mom and my sister keep making fun of me for my ocd. when things aren’t a certain way i get very twitchy and upset. my sister always laughs at me and tells everyone. my mom has talked to a number of my therapists about what ocd actually is , yet she yells at me and gets legit mad when i have compulsions. does anyone have any suggestions on what to say back because nothing works and i’m sick of being mad fun of.

i don't know why but nowadays i realized i am all alone. I never had a boyfriend,i don't have friends (actually i have a friend,but it seems like he don't want to talk to me anymore) i don't have a job that i like,i don't have creativity anymore for my hobby,its just me and my family,so i think my ocd theme who is to worry a lot about my family all the time is because i don't have nothing,so i have to worry about them otherwise i would have nothing to care about,because i don't have self love enough to focus or to worry about myself,even though i try so hard. And i think if i have a boyfriend now,my ocd can disappear,but i am not pretty enough for a good boyfriend and i don't wanna someone who will treat me like shit.

Okay, I’ve been struggling with hocd for the past(almost) 2 years. I haven’t really progressed and got more worst at controlling. Okay to start off, I used to be bisexual for years. I got rid of it ever since I started dating my bf. And everything was fine for 3 years, until one inappropriate video popped up(I could see videos without reacting ). And that’s what started the gronial and the hocd. My aniexty plays a part of it as well. Lately, I’ve been avoiding people in general since I always worry if I’m going to had a thought or reaction. I don’t want to go back to my old self and that’s what I fear. I can’t even see pretty woman or anything without feeling “unloyal” to my bf. I tried exposure and in one part it works, but then goes back to the same crap. I need help and if there’s any advice, I would be glad to listen !

ive been doing erp for a week after i realized this was another ocd thought and my brain still sees the thought as something scary and im just tired of it, i live on my own and i dont have alot of people to talk about ocd with, i couldnt eat well for last few days or keep my sleep schedule... i feel like a mess and im too tired to start building my self back up... anyway to make the recovery process faster? ive done this 2 times now and everytime it takes me like 1 month to get fully out of it

why do i have to worry about everyone and everything? I don't care that much about me,but i am always caring about people around me.its so draining

Does anyone ever get scared that they are just trying to convince themselves that it’s OCD. I have this fear that my intrusive thoughts about harm aren’t actually intrusive nor is it actually OCD and I’m actually some sort of crazy evil human being all of a sudden. As I’m writing this I can see how silly that is. Of course it’s OCD, but there is always that “what if” and it makes me scared of myself. I know that this could be considered “obsessing about obsessing,” but like I said, there is always that, “What if you are different? An anomaly.”

Many times I wonder about this: what is life like without OCD? How would my life be if I wasn't dealing/struggling/suffering from OCD

Why work on that if you end up the same way no mather what, cause "we are humans" and im not saying this as in a hopeless way. Im actually angry. I always end up in the same place, i always question the meaning of life and suicidal ocd gets strong then i dont know if its real or not, but im tired of this, im working on being stronger and view life in a positive way but bad things happens in life and i react in the same way "whats the point of life, life is suffering" and i get the answer from others that "this is normal human reaction". Then theres no point on getting stronger cause you will not be stronger. If this is normal reaction then its clear that we dont change, i know its a really depressing thing to say but it seems like it, no mather how hard you work on being positive, soon something bad will happen and youre back at questioning meaning and hating your life...ive been complaining awhile but its annoying now how much time and energy i spend to be stronger and i still feel weak, then this is me, im weak... Sorry about venting but this makes me angry

just want to let people know when u overcome a real event ocd theme it’s amazing! No matter what u did, ocd blows it way out of proportion. You probably didn’t know it was bad at the time and you were young and you’ve probably changed if you regret it that badly. You need to forgive yourself and everything changes!

Something triggered my ROCD really badly. It put me in a state where I feel defensive against anyone and everything and feel ready to lash out at the slightest provocation (I haven't and I won't, but I feel ready to). Feeling this way makes me feel safe in a weird way though. Does anyone else have this?

sorry but i feel like this is going to be a really long vent! In october 2022 my dad had major heart surgery and the effect it had on me was crazy. During the weeks he was in hospital i didn’t feel anything other than worry and fear. After the surgery and when he came home and started recovering and i started to relax i noticed a huge change in my behaviour. i became more depressed, i wasn’t eating or sleeping, constantly crying and then i started getting intrusive thoughts about my sexuality. These came out of nowhere and i couldn’t shake them off. A post came up on my instagram explorer page about OCD and i realised that maybe i had health OCD. One example of why i thought i had it was i was getting pain in my breast and thought i had breast cancer and kept going back to the doctor and it turns out to just being a spot 🤦🏼‍♀️. I then started reading more about ocd and learning about the different types such as: pedophelia OCD where when i’m holding a baby im worrying and have constant fear that i did something to that baby when i know i didnt. False memory OCD thinking that something had happened or that i felt a certain way about someone when i didn’t but i could have but i don’t know if it’s real or not. However, my main theme im really struggling with is HOCD. I’ve always been attracted to boys, always have crushes on them from when i was younger till now. After my dads op i keep getting the intrusive thought of what if i’m gay?. I don’t want to be ( i don’t have anything against it) and i fear that i am but i’m attracted to men and have only had crushes on boys?? Before i was having these thoughts i kissed a boy and i liked it (but now i’m thinking did i really like it) after these thoughts every time i kiss a boy i freak out and start crying because i panic and get the feeling that it’s wrong when i don’t want it to be. I don’t think it helps that i was bullied my whole school life so i don’t trust easily and i feel like it’s affected me in getting into relationships because i’m scared it’s just a joke or i’m going to be made fun of or i’m not good at a certain thing. I struggle to get to know new people especially boys ( i don’t know why) so that’s not helping the situation at all. Before the HOCD i used to fantasise about being in relationships with boys and being intimate with them especially my recent crush, but now i can’t even think about that without feeling like it’s wrong and thinking that i’ve never had feelings for them and that i don’t really want it. When i do, i really really do. Now when ever i think of having sex with a boy i panic and start thinking about sex with a girl but i don’t want to think of this. I question whether i’m attracted to this and i really don’t want to be. I’ve never thought about being with a girl romantically or sexually until recently and i really want it to go away! i feel like a completely different person and i don’t like it, at one point my brain was convincing me i was a boy and that i wanted to be with a girl but i don’t. After this i really struggle with catching feelings for boys and i’m scared that the whole time i was just in denial and i’m using HOCD as an excuse for it all. I feel like i have a heavy weight on my chest thinking of this and i could cry because i just want my life back. I get gronial response as well which really freaks me out because i can’t tell what’s real or not real. A friend of mine came out as bisexual and i haven’t been able to shake the thought of what if i am as well. what if i’m attracted to her and i really really really don’t want to be. I’m so scared and i don’t like it! writing this is bringing in so many emotions and my hands are literally shaking. I don’t even know whether it’s OCD because i don’t know whether i get compulsions or not. When ever i think about it i shake or shiver and cringe and go ew ew. In my head i pray to God to help me to stop thinking these thoughts and i read the NOCD posts to see if i relate to any of it and sometimes i do which is a relief and sometimes i don’t which causes me to panic. I feel so guilty because it makes me not want to be friends with her anymore. I also get the thought of what if i’m never going to fall in love with a boy. What if i fall in love with the wrong person, what if i’m getting to know the wrong boy, if i don’t feel something straight away then i don’t carry it on and then i freak out because i didn’t feel anything because i want it so desperately and they obviously aren’t the one etc i hope this all makes sense and if anyone could help me with any of it i would really really appreciate it.

Oh my god it’s just so awful. I think when people learn that ocd isn’t just a cleaning disorder they just hate it. Like probably one of the most stigmatized mental disorders ever. It genuinely hurts.

Feeling discouraged. Today i did an exposure and overcame a big fear item. I wore something i labeled contaminated (a high level fear) and i was so happy i did it and then a few hours later ocd hits me with something stronger and i just feel terrible now. It does this everytime i take a step forward. Feeling so lost

Hey, how is everyone doing tonight? I’m feeling pretty anxious, but would love to hear from y’all?

Debating on seeing a psychiatrist for medication. Does medication help you guys for OCD? Or at least help the depression and anxiety that comes with OCD? Thanks! 🫶🏼

No matter what your OCD says, don’t give into it. If you give it an inch, it absolutely WILL take 10 miles. Here’s the question you must ask yourself: Do you combat your OCD and it’s whining by NOT doing what it wants even though it’s really hard, or do you give in an continually make it worse for yourself until you’re in really deep, no matter what? That’s up to you, but I’ve been recovered for nearly 4 years because I NEVER, no matter what, give into my OCD. Do not give into your OCD, in any way, shape, or form. Temporary relief is NOT part of the recovery or healing process.

Some of my very initial thoughts when i first start dating my girlfriend (my first girlfriend and serious relationship) i had this fear that id end up having a crush on someone else. starting with a job i got in august, i was scared i was going to have a crush on one of the girls at my work. before my girlfriend, i would always be crushing on someone, fantasizing about them and whatnot. I was doing really good and i even thought to myself “wow you haven’t had a crush on anyone, good job”. then my rocd hits 3 weeks ago, really hard. causing me extreme anxiety, nearly breaking up with my girlfriend, unable to think of anything else and it hurt a lot. the thoughts died down thankfully in this past week, and i was so grateful about it. now my brain is trying to form a crush on my coworker, whom i have no interest in. she is a cool person and i would love to be her friend but my brain is starting to romanticize her i think. it’s very frustrating because i believe it’s a false crush but i know that if i was not with my girlfriend, my brain would obsess over my coworker and it would be like any of my typical crushes i had before. I don’t know what to do about it. i have even considered transferring to get away from my coworker. i live in fear that the more i’m around her, the more my brain will start to romanticize her. i don’t want to like anyone other than my girlfriend but this is my new fear. liking someone else while being in a loving and healthy relationship. anyone have tips?

I get so depressed sometimes when I’m in the app because I presume that most people on here may not be recovered. If I was recovered, I probably would not even be on this app. But, still, are there any happy ocd stories? You know, to give the rest of us some hope ?