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I’m not sure if anyone has had this fear, but i’m worried that if i actually get better with erp and face my harm ocd that one day the thought of hurting others won’t scare me anymore. Has anyone else had this fear?

Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.

I think since I suffer from ocd in several forms daily that maybe I could find possible her as well with the same type of behavior but is different issue that your typical ocd types but I am severally struggling with body repetitive disorder type or skin picking hair pulling it's no well heard of as far as I've seen in my research but it stems off of anxiety alot and is my imideiate response to self sooth or calm myself even when I'm unaware I've been doing and no I've always picked and been scolded constantly if I was caught as a kid it never even registered on my radar as like a thing or habit to me that I have actually been doing all my life .when I do e into a deep very dangerous iv drug addiction after going through some severe long term abuse I did the stereotypical tweaker picking thing that everyone assumes u must be doin if you have sores around your body.but it wasn't a frequent issue or habit.but after being clean and not being into picking at all for the last 4 yrs I randomly started doing it again but more regularly then spend way longer doing it hours and if alone when I'm doing that I've had two e now where I start to become delusional and my hypochondria jumps in and I start having thought that I think I'm seeing things like on my skin or hair and it escalates into paranoia to the point I think I might have a fungal or parasite causing the wierd flaws I'm seeing on my skin and I just desperately then want anything on me that looks out of the norm to me to be gone like I need to get rid of all the infection I think I might be seeing it sounds crazy now me typing it but I do have bipolar PTSD bpd ocd major depression and see a therapist but I don't feel like she knews how to help with that area of mental health or even ocd I have to find help I have already a couple's year ago was put in ICU and almost died from a picking area getting infected and I ended up with blood poisoning I can't put my body through that again my immune system has suffered since please help me I feel so alone and embarrassed.......thank u

I have rocd. It’s the worst feeling being with the love of your life and having these thoughts. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and few months and I just wish this disorder wasn’t even a thing. From the start of us being together I knew and felt he was perfect and EVERYTHING I’ve always wanted. I had thoughts about everything you can name of. If I love him or not, do I like other people instead, if he’s ugly, if I like him only because of his looks, comparing other relationships, if he did one thing off or different question if I really know him, thought he was a different person then what I really knew him for, believing and having the thoughts every single one feel real. It’s a nightmare. Because I would literally die on the instead from telling him these things when he never did anything. I have gotten much better with the love, and looks and all that but there’s always new “targets” as me and him say. It’s like I can never truly run away. I think of how easy it is for others in relationships since they don’t have this and I just want that with him. It’s been a year and a few months and yes we’ve went through hell and back and a lot of things have gotten better but not fully. Hopefully soon enough they will and EVRYTHING will be much better. I just want him. I can’t do anything without him like he’s really the first person I only ever imagined a future with. A future that I wanted to be married and have kids and just live a beautiful life with. I want his pain and suffering to end with all these thoughts he’s heard throughout the year. I never mean to hurt him. I never mean to break him. I just want him. I can’t lose him. If you have ROCD, it’s good your here. Get help, get support, talk to someone about this because it will get better. I’ve had my amazing days. 4 days straight! I never had that before but I lost it and trying to get it back. I know I will, just gotta keep trying hard. My boyfriend helps me so much by supporting and telling me “Your ocd is not you, these thoughts aren’t you, ocd attacks anything you care about.” I couldn’t be more lucky to have him. I’m the luckiest girl alive. He makes me feel that way and I just want this to be over already. I love him so much. Idk if this helps anyone with ROCD, but you’re not alone. Search up videos the help understand, pay attention and watch what you can do to fix it because it is. I’m not there yet but I will not give up, so everyone out there with any type of OCD. We can do this. Confidence is key. Don’t give up. We’re all here to help one another, and ofc regular support with friends family and definitely therapy.

I’m really anxious but I really need to sleep. How do you calm yourself down? I have been not doing great with my ocd at all lately my head feels like it’s going to explode.

I’m just trying to find a bit of hope, I feel horrible, I always think my partner deserves someone that doesn’t have rocd Am I going to be happy again in my relationship? Is it better if I just die? I just need to hear if someone has overcome this, I just want hope, I don’t want to suffer anymore Thank you

I am a very selfless person. I tend to put others before me and I’m working on that but in general I think it’s always best to consider others before you act on things because you don’t want to hurt anyone. I am involved with someone who is opposite of me in that way. They don’t care if something bothers me or negatively affects me, depending on what it is. If it doesn’t make sense to them, they will continue to do the thing even if I explain with reasons why it bothers me. And typically it’s about social media/girls, because in the past we had those issues. And yes trust is the biggest part and i trust him to a certain extent. But it’s not just trust, it’s about how he isn’t even willing to compromise this thing for me. He constantly does it and it’s in my face and I have to see him under every girls photo of girls I dislike or going out and adding every girl he meets, he is an overall VERY friendly person, I know this about him but I genuinely hate that it involves girls. And i just told him we needed to talk but I just don’t even know what to say anymore. I know that if I can’t handle it, I can leave, but I know it is a stupid reason to walk away over Instagram. But it isn’t only over Instagram, it’s the mere fact that he simply hears me and goes and does it anyway because he says “he can”. He said word for word “I do it because I can”. And feels it’s controlling for me to expect him to make me feel comfortable at the expense of him….. deleting girls…. Or not adding them….

Why do I worry that things will be bad if I don't worry?

Is this OCD existential? So started last week, I began to have OCD thoughts about our faces. This may sound silly to some of you, but my mind trying to get me to panic about how our faces look. It's like, it is trying to question about, "wow, our faces look like that. That's how ppl look." I'm freaking out right now and trying to calm myself down and think logical or realistic here. My heart is beating really fast and I can't concentrate. Please help me what should I do. I'm trying to tell myself, like "it just OCD, calm down". It's like it's trying to trick me into believe our faces look weird. I was okay yesterday and trying to managing it, but man I had panic attacks all today. Off and on all day while I'm at work. Its not making it any better when I look at ppl faces. Please, please tell me how I can I deal with this. I thinking about getting on medication. Have y'all ever had this experience before?

Been stuck for 3 days now. I have one (of many) very weird theme which is nudism. I’m constantly stuck within myself about why its wrong for me. It’s constantly making me question deeper & deeper. So deep in thoughts it physically hurts. Just when i think im ok & solved, it comes right back. I’m trying to get into see a new psychiatrist bcuz my current one is booked until June bcuz she recently put me on zoloft after telling me it would maybe help more bcuz i was still suffering so much on fluvoxamine. & then the other themes are just surrounding it. Really, really painful. Does anyone have any tips? I don’t mean to offend anyone with this post.

I don't know how I'll ever be truly happy if I just remember all the things I didn't do right, did wrong, and messed up on. If I move on with one thing, I'll just ruminate on the other. I'm always afraid I'll end up in jail one day. Be accused of something that I did horribly wrong, even if I regret it every single day. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I can't be happy with myself because bad things have happened. All day on the way home I just thought about my insecurities, what I didn't do right, what someone could make fun of me for, and this time where my elbow brushed up on a woman's behind. I didn't say sorry, I could've moved my hand, I feel I could've prevented it but didn't. I feel disgusting. I just beat myself up every single day and I worry about everything that's happening or could happen in the world if I'm not ruminating about every single bad thing that could have happened. I just don't know how I should be happy with myself when I've messed up so badly in the past. I don't get it

I was prescribed Fluvoxamine today. I hope it works. At first she wanted to put me on Wellbutrin, as it’s a much easier medication to tolerate. But I told her I had done research in Fluvoxamine since it’s specifically made to treat OCD. She scared me when she said it’s not prescribed as often because of the side effects. She called it a “harder drug.” I didn’t really like hearing that. We had it filled anyway but now I’m just scared to take it because of course I’ve been online reading negative reviews. Hope I didn’t make a mistake. Maybe I should have stuck with the Wellbutrin.

My husband told me in a text he wants a divorce…. We were already talking about it but yeah pretty intense. Sorry for all my marriage posts. Just grateful for the community here.

Has anyone switched therapists? I had a terrible meeting with my therapist and it makes me not want to do the therapy anymore. I feel like they lost hope in me, and that's not a good working therapist client relationship. I signed up for therapy because I need help, so I dont want to leave. Its just frustrating

What is it like to not have OCD or an anxious mind that is frequently ruminating? What do people like this think about? When they go run errands or are driving, what is on their minds? I've realized how I'm usually worrying about something--to the point that it makes me wonder what my life would be like if I didn't. What would I notice? What would I think about? How would I feel? I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of listening to that mean voice that says I'm not good enough & that there's something wrong with me. I'm tired of feeling down, sad, & anxious. I want to be without all this mental noise, without this feeling that I have to be worried about something or fixing something about myself. How would I behave if I didn't have OCD or an anxious, worrying mind? I think we can all benefit from asking ourselves this question and focusing our energy on making it happen.

Has anyone dealt with slightly swollen lymph nodes? I keep being worried that I have cancer/lymphoma. I’ve had a swollen lymph node on right side of neck since last year. It’s small can’t be seen. Got an ultrasound, doctor said it’s not significant in size and looks normal. This was last year in October. A week ago I went for a yearly physical exam and doctor said there is another small node swollen on left side. She’s not worried and she told me to check back in a few months. She kept mentioning it could be due to sickness, infection, mouth inflammation or something random like that but I have not BEEN sick or had an infection or anything. I’m freaked out has anyone experienced anything like this? I constantly tend feel them to see if they’e still there too. Headaches run in my family my sister and mom get bad headaches and I never got them but for about 2 months now I’ve been having SEVERE headache/pain when I move my head and feeling generally sleepy / tired throughout the day. I’m scared.

I am just so frustrated right now. I’ve been in ERP with NOCD for almost five weeks and I can see a little progress but yesterday I got triggered and did not handle it well. I couldn’t stop crying and today I am struggling too. Is this apart of recovering? Ups and downs like this??

Hello. Is there anyone who has both soocd and rocd?? I think I have both and right now with my soocd, I am afraid that I will just get up one day and decide to experiment or I secretly want to. But I don't and I have never actually wanted to even when my soocd got bad but now my brain is telling me to do so and I am afraid I will follow it and do so. Is there anyone who goes through this??

I am new to NOCD and I have been really battling to understand and accept ERP. I feel intense sadness all day everyday, I feel no relief from feelings of intense depression, which is probably caused by the OCD. I can't fathom how I am supposed to just accept this state of depression and constant fear and not allow myself any room for trying to fix myself. I want to fix myself, I want to get better, but apparently I am not supposed to feel that, I need to say that maybe I will get better or maybe I won't. I am not supposed to do anything and I just can't understand it. Please help

My SO-OCD is morphing into another sexual theme now, love that 😍😍