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Real life events is kicking my butt today lol I keep ruminating over and over again about the mistake I did in researching and triggering my existential ocd worse to a point of no return 😭 it feels like I can’t enjoy life and that I’m stuck I don’t like sharing but I’m terrified of being stuck like this forever. My thoughts keep getting more extreme and severe pertaining about space, time, and eternity, afterlife. This sucks I wouldn’t wish this ocd theme to not even my worse enemy :/ I’m just so confused in how can your brain one day just get triggered by something and bam, I remember I was obsessed with space and I would even watch hour long documentaries about it and i would hear people talking about the afterlife and even myself I would think and i never got fear or was scared. Hell I would actually be the one talking about the meaning of life and pondering so this is something I was in essence exposed to so I really don’t know how one comment I saw on TikTok could have triggered this essential ocd im so confused and mad it feels like I unlocked a part of my brain that I never should have :/ I’m so hyper aware of everything now

Please note the trigger warning for this post I go through ups and downs with my OCD, I'm currently having a flare up. Despite getting out of flare ups before I don't believe I'm going to ever get out of this one. I'm having suicidal thoughts, but I know I can't act on them because I have a loving husband and family, because I can't die then I have to live but I genuinely don't see how I can keep living. I'm completely hyper-focused on something from when I was 18 or 19 (about 5 years ago) which I don't know if its a real event or a false memory. I told my husband about it once and I managed to tell my therapist about it today and they both say I can forgive myself if the thing did happen, but I don't think I can. All I can do is cry and ruminate, it feels completely over for me

Hey guys - here’s something that has greatly helped me. Apparently there is a correlation between OCD and attachment theory - secure attachment is linked with more resiliency and ability to handle OCD. And I wanted more of that so researching more into this I realized that perhaps healing my attachment style would help my ocd. (Michael Greenberg has some great articles on this). And so I set out on a quest to become more securely attached, as after taking a quiz I realized that I was only 25 percent secure! I specifically dealt with the fearful avoidant attachment which causes a hot and cold dynamic with relationships. I noticed that working on emotional regulation definitely helped my OCD, as a lot of times when I was really stuck in a rumination spiral, after taking a step back I realized I was just really sad or really lonely, and that, if I could feel my emotions and be there for myself, and work through my emotions, there was no need for ocd. As in, I could direct my attention towards taking steps to reach out to people to help with my sadness, or cry or release the emotion in some way. If you’re interested in this more, definitely check out the Personal Development School on YouTube, also on their website they have a quiz you can take to figure out your attachment style! I personally signed up for the school and went through some of their courses which really helped. Here’s a daily exercise I do to help myself become more securely attached: I wrote down five securely attached attributes and what I would do to fulfill that trait for myself that day. Here’s what that might look like: Ask yourself, how would a securely attached person act in this moment? Or what would they do? (With this it might help to learn about how a securely attached person would act and then copy that as best you can) Emotional availability: checking in with how I’m feeling and what I need Consistency: keeping my word for myself Thoughtfulness: doing little things I know would make me happy. Patience: not expecting perfection, being gentle with myself Understanding/empathy: being compassionate with how I speak to myself Safety: letting thoughts come and go with peace. Accepting fears as part of my experience and yet giving them little weight. This has helped me not only be a better support for myself throughout this difficult process, but has also helped me get in touch with who I am separate from the OCD. Also if you’re interested more, let me know I have more resources!! And definitely look up OCD and attachment style - there’s some great research on it that may help you. If you’re like me and your willing to try anything to get better - this might be a next step! Hope this is helpful ❤️ wishing you all well on your recovery journeys 🤗

“But this is different! This could actually happen!” Sound familiar? Do you recognize the familiar inner voice of OCD? The truth is, many fears are related one way or another to the worst things that have happened at some point to someone—horrifying things are possible. Unfortunately, OCD twists this into a belief that the slightest possibility of something bad happening makes our fears not only rational, but necessary. But that’s not the case—you can overcome even your most “realistic” OCD fears. Read more about why one of OCD’s most cunning tricks is convincing you that your “realistic” fears are helping you stay safe.

Trigger warning! Please don’t read this if you’re not scared of plants. You don’t want any new obsessions! . . . I got off the bus stop the other day and had to walk a small path down to the road. I passed some verges and didn’t think twice about it, until later when I saw a lot of apiaceae family plants growing. And my thoughts went to the various poisonous plants in that family, like hemlock and such. After work I went back to the bus stop (shouldn’t have done that) to check and yes there were some apiaceae growing there. I’ve been googling images for hours trying to figure out which one it was. I can’t figure it out anymore because I forgot exactly what the leaves looked like. I washed my clothes in the washing machine and am scared to use them now. I want to throw my shoes out… I don’t know how to overcome this one. The risk is so huge to me. Any tips?

Is it my fault if I did something that I genuinely can’t remember? I tried asking for reassurance that I didn’t do something bad, and everyone said I didn’t, but I feel like they’re all lying or I forgot to ask the right person. I keep going through texts, emails, pictures, files, etc. and I’m exhausted. I want to keep going back and looking at different things but I’m too tired. I’m just worried that I don’t want to actually look bc deep down, I’m trying to hide something bad. I know everyone I’ve asked has said I’ve done nothing wrong, but if some sort of “proof” comes up in the future, is it my fault that I couldn’t remember it? Or is it just the OCD making me not able to remember?

Does anyone get unwanted urges with the intrusive thoughts?? It’s so annoying but I heard is a part of recovery like my ocd is making me question whether this is actually me or ocd but i read it in a book and I know it’s not actually me not an urge or desire I want to do but ocd is so annoying with this, does anyone feel the same??

Hello, I’ve been recently diagnosed with OCD and I struggle mostly with ROCD right now. I had a traumatic breakup last year and am now in a new relationship and we’ve been together for 8 months now. I really do feel like I love him but I sometimes don’t feel the romantic emotions as much anymore and sometimes he annoys me or I just feel a bit bored in the relationship. I really don’t want to break up with him and I’m so scared of breaking up but I’m so afraid he isn’t “the one” or that we aren’t compatible. Is it normal to have these worries? Does this mean we aren’t right for each other? My therapist mentioned ROCD usually consists of irrational fears and that my fears seem rational so it may not be OCD so I’m terrified and can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve also had an instance before where I had an intrusive image of my ex during an intimate moment and it made me feel like I was cheating and then I felt the need to confess to my boyfriend. I know that was ROCD for sure but I’m not sure if the rest is. I really don’t want to lose him but I’m worried that I don’t love him or that we aren’t right for each other.

TW: So I am absolutely TERRIFIED of rabies. To the extent that I can't even be around my dog anymore and I don't know what to do. I'm scared that I might have contracted it because 2 days ago I picked up a stray cat that's been coming to my house and gave it a kiss on the cheek. I'm so scared that I either have rabies or will contract the virus somehow. I'm too scared to go outside at the point. I don't know what to do.

Has anyone had success with medication and ocd? I am managing ocd to a certain extent but my highs and lows are too extreme and I don’t think it’s fair to be this exhausted and keep pushing on my one anymore. My doctor recommended hormonal birth control as a first step to medicine to possible help level my hormones which might be aiding in the timely spikes I’m noticing. Next step would be the Xanax nightly option. I’ve tried other medications in the past but I have a med condition that doesn’t always necessarily allow me to use all prescriptions. Anyone else find success with medicine and ocd relief ?

Took me 20 minutes to brush my teeth today 2 hours in the shower and i still feel dirty. Any tips?

Hello! Now I'm trying to let all these thoughts come to my head and accept the anxiety that's coming with them without challenging them - just leaving then unanswered. But my head keeps telling me things like, 'but maybe that actually was a bad thing you did, and you're just trying to push it away' or 'you might still go to hell, because this might not be OCD but you just being a bad person and trying to ignore it.' I can recognize all these as OCD thoughts but they undermine my coping strategies. Does this stuff get better with time and practice?

***trigger warning for health OCD*** Today was off to a great start I meditated and did some mantras to prepare myself for a better day than yesterday. Unfortunately right after my mantras as I went to get up from bed and check my phone I saw an angel number which is definitely one of my big triggers. I feel as if the universe or my angels are trying to tell me something and that I should listen to my intuition more (ofc what Google says when I look up the meaning) which is a big no no for me because I get so triggered and feel like I should do my compulsions. This has been going on for almost a month and even if I’m genuinely not thinking about it I can still spot it. Saw 222 yesterday afternoon and last night, 444 this afternoon and 555 an hour later (health OCD). I already got medical clearance just a month ago and now my head is saying it’s because what’s “really wrong with me” is someplace else in my body with my only evidence being the angel numbers I see and bloating (from my diagnosed IBS). I guess this new fear that maybe my ovaries are what’s wrong with me is from looking up women’s bloated tummies who have ovarian c-word and comparing them to mine (literally that article talks about a woman who mistook her c-word for IBS). When getting tested for IBS I also had a whole abdominal ultrasound and every organ came out fine even my uterus but they couldn’t see my ovaries due to ‘overlying bowel gas’ which didn’t freak me out before but now makes me feel like it’s a telltale sign that something’s wrong with me. I literally also got a pelvic exam about 3 years ago and all results were normal. Technically I have no actual symptoms but even if 10 amazing doctors told me my ovaries are fine I’d obsess over HPV instead for example or something else totally. I really can’t help but look at my tummy and obsess over repeating numbers. I check my weight every 2-3 days and now today I apparently lost 4kgs (I haven’t eaten in almost 13 hours though and the scale is really inaccurate because it’s so old). Despite this I think it’s such a sign from the universe that something’s wrong with me. Can ocd really do this to somebody?? Is it possible that even if I’m not consciously thinking about it I still spot it so many times?? I think I just can’t wrap my head around all this because my brain keeps forcing me to think it’s real and doesn’t even want to consider anything otherwise.

This is just kinda a rant, but any encouragement would be very much appreciated ❤️ I started dating my boyfriend when I was 16, I fell in love with him then and for the first 2 years of our relationship it was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m 20 now and we’ve been together ever since then, however in the past almost two years things have been different. He has a serous heart condition that has gotten progressively worse until now he needs a heart transplant. As you can imagine that causes a ton of stress for him and me as well and is I think a large contributor to my ocd. When things started getting worse with him so did my ocd. My ocd began to center around our relationship and cause me to obsess over if I love him, am attracted to him, feel like he’s a good person, etc. there have been times were this level of obsession has taken away any positive feelings I might get from him. There have been times were I felt that we had to break up. And looking back at all my negative thoughts about him I sometimes feel like I have ruined our perfect relationship. I’ve had a crush on him since I was in 8th grade and honestly spent the first 2 years obsessed with every detail of him. He always gave me this specific feeling, like a warm summer night or, like rain and pine trees. But what if I don’t ever get that feeling back? And he’s also changing as he struggles under the weight of his health issues. I miss the adventurous, alive kid he used to be. I’m so scared that I permanently messed it up. I miss him and that feeling so much. I wish I could just freeze time and be 16 with him forever. Will I get those feelings back again?

Feeling very depressed and run down as OCD is making my life hell... I'm getting "I don't deserve" thoughts about virtually everything, even I don't deserve to have thoughts. It's much harder to feel like you do deserve when you're depressed on top 😒 I don't want to do this anymore, everyday I feel intense amounts of emotional pain, this is a wretched disorder... all because I made a mistake earlier in life and I can't let go of it like a person with a normal brain. How is it fair that there are some truly horrible people in this world that sleep like babies and enjoy life and then there's OCD sufferers putting up with this crap... It's not fair, and I'm starting to question the meaning of all this

Everyone is saying without therapy a person can't get out of this loop hole, that means I'm not going to heal ever in my life? Cause I have no possibility of getting therapy from a therapist, there is 0% chance that I can go for therapy

Can you keep feeling like you need to think about thoughts you don’t like? Yesterday I had this horrible thought of you know in movies when they drag a body and bury it? I had a horrible thought of that image and then I kept feeling like I needed to imagine it and today it’s the same and now im thinking why am I I trying to imagine that say it it’s because I like it and im evil and it’s so vivid as well like as if I know how it feels to drag someone and it’s disgusting but feels real and I don’t understand why I keep wanting to imagine it?? Am I trying to test myself what is it ??

haven’t done any therapy yet and would like to talk to someone who has before cause i’m nervous and i just saw a woman on tik tok say intrusive thoughts are just intuition and it was so scary.

Im so drained , I haven’t been diagnosed I’m too scared to go to a doctor and I did tell my mum I think I had ocd and she laughed at me with disbelief because Im not a clean freak . My last option is suicide if I’m being honest I’m only 17 and I’m already having these uncomfortable thoughts that make me cry for hours . I can’t go on social media I can’t speak to my family I can’t be around kids , animals without having a fear of getting turned on or feeling stuff or thinking stuff . The thoughts get so believable idk if there real or fake . It makes me extremely uncomfortable “what if I like this feeling “ I have to constantly check myself my body if a video comes up of a kid . What happens if I don’t even have ocd and I’m just a pedo . I’ve been through a lot of stuff but this has been the most draining , depressing period of my life . I can’t eat , I’m starting to think I’m depressed again . I can’t sleep , I don’t know myself anymore . I’m scared of myself , my future , what happens if Im becoming one , since I’m so young . I don’t want to be here anymore I don’t deserve it . I don’t deserve to have friends I don’t deserve anything but to rot in my room . I don’t believe I can get help I don’t believe I can get better . I just want to be normal I’m so jealous of people that just think normally .

ERP is great and I agree that it’s the “gold standard” (as everyone loves to say, lol), but sometimes messaging around it’s success rates/durations of recovery fails to note the nuances of each individuals relationship with it and history of OCD which may be commorbid with other disorders, as well as life circumstances and privilege, access. Some people have had it longer, shorter, some people have OCD tied to trauma, some people have struggles related to fear and some to disgust. Not everyone gets better in 8 weeks, and it’s not a 1-stop shop. Yes, ERP IS the way to go, but I wish some of the black and white talk about it would stop othering folks who don’t necessary fall into marketed quotas about success rates and methods. We already feel isolated in our struggles, and when OCD loves to tell us “our case is the exception”, and “we got it really bad” some of that b+w pushing, pushing, pushing of “do erp and you’ll get better” could be toned down a touch.