Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone have hard time with sexuality and sexual things? I am worried to be sexual, that God is watching. I stopped everything remotely sexual. If it ever comes to the point where I will kiss someone again I will be so scared because God is watching me. And it will be uncomfortable because I won’t be enjoying the moment I will be thinking about my thoughts. I used to be totally fine and then all this came along and I feel like I can’t even be normal human. I have sexual dreams and I feel fine and aroused in them. Then I wake up and I’m like omg God doesn’t want me to think these things. I can’t even explain it all.. I wish I could all stop this and go back to normal me :’(

Anyone who deals with Pure O, have a negative thought come into your head and you spend hours justifying in your head why that thought is wrong? Any suggestions what to do in this situation. For example, someone pointed out a minor mistake I made and I spend the next few hours in my mind trying to justify why she is wrong or why it doesn't matter what she said. I hope you understand what I'm trying to explain. Hard to put this stuff into words.

I don’t even want to say the disturbing intrusive thought I’ve had for the last few weeks cos I fear I’ll be judged as a crazy person ?

My mind tells me I’m a evil murderer and a serial killer and that I’m gonna do it but I feel so depressed like I keep crying and hate seeing others happy. I’m dying. I can’t stop sobbing. Then my OCD tells me I’m Crying cause I can’t hurt anyone. Help

Does medication truly help OCD? I feel like I need medication at this point as I’ve been battling this disorder for years now without meds.

Hey guys so my psychiatrist basically said I suffer from moderate OCD and prescribed me Sertraline(Zoloft) but I needed up canceling my Medicine and my whole entire visit there because none of the therapist does ERP so I decided to try a place the specialize in OCD. I wanna stay far way from meds. I suffer from OCD killer thoughts but is this considered OCD when you think you have a mental illness where gonna go all crazy and start being violent? Like at times I’m scared I’m bipolar, or schizophrenic. Before I would be worried and anxiety would rise when I thought of hurting other people, but now sometimes my urges feel so real I think about hurting someone and I feel like I enjoy it and I don’t feel the guilt. And sometimes I feel intense guilt for my parents thinking wow I feel so bad for their daughter cause she’s gonna be a murderer. Like sometimes I feel like I could do things I was once scared of. Like for instance, today there was this dude staring at me and I straight forward told him with an attitude “ what are you staring at” And sometimes all my other old intrusive thoughts come back ( aka being bisexual, committing suicide, thinking about self harm) what do I do... I feel like a mess. And I constantly search up all the other mental disorders that Amanda Bynes has and lady Gaga. I’m so confused I’m a mess. I feel anxiety but then my minds tells me I love murder, jail and violence. Sorry this is so long I’m so lost I wanna be normal again.

Please share your ROCD stories:

I give up. Every day is more difficult than the last. I’m getting more and more compulsions that make no sense and seem to be coming out of nowhere. My brain is so full and I am so tired. I feel like everything is getting worse and my mum is so far from being understanding, she makes me feel so pathetic and stupid and acts as if I’m choosing to feel this way. I don’t know how to carry on. I just give up ?. I hope you’re all doing well, sorry for being so negative.

I also wanted to ask if anyone here has intrusive suicidal thoughts, that are just repetitive and the thought that I’m going to go crazy and hurt myself. I feel like I’m just afraid of my own self because I want continuous reassurance from others that I wouldn’t do such a thing and that I’m normal.

Just went to a therapist for the first time and summoned the nerve to talk about what I feel is hocd- I left so upset after what she said, and so invalidated. I'm okay but feel like she just assumed things that didn't feel true to me and made me question everything. I'm so discouraged rn

I really need some advice. Before my mind was completely taken over by OCD I was a straight-A student. I absolutely thrived learning environments. I’m in Australia, currently completing my final year of high school. Before I got so sick, I intended on studying undergraduate medicine. Sadly, with literally 2 months until graduation, I can’t continue my intense study regime. My teachers think I should drop to a non-ATAR (basically can’t get into university directly) pathway. I’m seriously considering it because there is no chance I’ll able to sit through these last few months. But I’m just beating myself up for being a failure. I hate myself for having to do this. Has anyone experienced something similar? Is there a way I can still succeed even if OCD took my high school years away from me? Sorry, this is so long! d a i s y

my ocd is controlling my life. I can’t stop washing my hands and I always think they have to be clean before I go anywhere or else my whole day will be ruined. I hate the thought of being unclean and I don’t want to spread germs. I wash my hands even when I don’t have to. Anyone have any advice please?

Just went to college today and it was horrible. I kept getting thoughts about killing people. It hurts so much. I’m home crying idk why. I’m sobbing. I’m jealous I can’t be like the other people enjoying they’re college lives. I wanna be happy again. I wanna die so badly but I don’t wanna leave my mom and dad or anyone I’m scared I’m a serial killer. I can’t even enjoy college. I feel like I enjoy these thoughts. I read about other people saying how they still recover yet from Harm ocd and it’s giving me even more anxiety. I wanna go to a concert of my favorite singer and I’m crazy to go there. But I can’t because I’m a murderer. And I deserve to be in jail. Idk what to do please help me. I don’t wanna leave my mom. I can’t breathe and I can’t manage to fail my classes either. It’s so hard.

nOCD moderator here! An update on our flagging policies: sharing scary, difficult, upsetting OCD thoughts is just fine. We WILL flag any post that suggests a user is considering harming themselves. Why do we do this? So we can send that person information on getting the help they might need. We want to keep our community safe. Let us know if you have any questions!

i have intrusive thoughts and they make me want to die

Is anyone else here female and suffer from Pedophilia OCD? It has been absolutely debilitating for me the past year. No matter what I tell myself, I can never rid myself of these thoughts. I don’t even like children, yet I have these horrific thoughts that plague my mind day in and day out. I was doing well for awhile until I had a dream last night and it triggered everything again for me. I just want it to stop. I know I’m not my thoughts, but it’s been too much for me to handle.

I’m having a terrible night. I’ve been in a panicked state for a couple of hours. I’ve been prescribed a medication for when I’m extremely anxious, but I’m reluctant to use it because I’m worried I’m going to become addicted or something ? (even though my doctor assured me I can’t become addicted!) Can anyone offer some advice/experiences? Thank you! d a i s y

Any other people looking to pursue a career in medicine? I’m desperate to be a doctor, but I’m awfully worried my illness will hinder my opportunities! d a i s y

Have any of you experienced positive results with SSRI Medication? Are they worth it?

My thought process currently: my dog pooped on the floor. Husband cleaned it up with toilet paper. However he did not use a disinfectant or even a wet wipe. Dog walked in the same area the poop was not cleaned appropriately. Dog jumped in my lap, I figured since I was about to shower it would be okay and I let her lay all over me and I pet her. Then I held my phone. After I took a shower, I picked up my phone without first disinfecting it, now my hands feel horribly dirty. I’m scared I will spread germs that the dog may have spread to me and I spread to my phone. However my husband is telling me it will be alright, be strong and don’t wash my hands or disinfect my phone and watch as nothing bad happens. Is this a legit reason to clean my phone and hands or is this just the OCD talking??