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the NOCD Community

i'm trying maybe maybe not for uncertainty my anxiety wants me to sit there and try figure things out it's so hard

does ocd make you isolate yourself from others and your interests? it feels like life has been zapped out of me for a long while now and i haven’t been able to do the things i love because something is holding me back i haven’t been talking to my boyfriend as much as i should because i’m afraid that i’m not good for him. or i’m afraid that he doesn’t love me anymore or if i’m cheating/if he’s cheating? it makes no sense and i know growing distance from people makes it worse, but i can’t get out of where i am right now i haven’t drawn or written because i don’t want any of my art to reflect where i am today. it’s been a big coping mechanism for me, but now it feels like i have nothing any help?

Im working on understanding what spiritual warfare means, and before i used to avoid this topic because it made my obsessions worse. I used to have that fear that satan tries to manipulate me to do bad things and this just made the obsessions worse where i felt like i will do them(basic ocd feeling like you want the thoughts) and when i found out about spiritual warfare, it made the whole thing worse, cause i believed in that more. I was afraid i will sell my soul to satan, i even felt like some part of me wants it, and what if it happens,I will let satan take my soul and nothing will help me take it back cause i will not feel like i want someone to save me. So i rather dealt it like its not real, however i still saw this topic many times. Now i learned about that but i still questioning if we really have to give so much importance to that,cause i see alot of christians talking about it like "you have to be ready,ask God for help cause noone can save you from this, its a war for your soul" and i dont want to say we have to act like its not real, cause it is, but i still see that many including me views this in a fearful way. When you identify every negative thought as satan tries manipulating you or he talks ro you, you give so much importance to the whole thing when maybe you just deal with thoughts...and i say this cause i suffer with that. It makes your ocd even worse(if you have obsessions about satan) if you say every negative thought is from satan and demons, you just put yourself in more fear. And many times i dont like to ask God for help when i feel anxious or scared, not beacuse i think i can do it without Him, its because i know that this will make ocd worse cause its reassurance seeking...and i feel like God knows why i do that, sometimes i have to remind myself that God is not stupid,He know my thoughts and my intentions, why i do things. This whole thing gives too much importance to our thoughts and ocd and we will just feel worse or live in this cycle forever. I hope God made me post this to help others who has the same problem and im not misleading anyone, cause i suffered and i still have problems with this. Also if you know more about spiritual warfare please share it cause i want to know how to view it so it doesnt make me spin.

I know this is terrible. And I shouldn’t be having thoughts like this but I read someone else who had these thoughts and my brain remembered a time I had an intrusive thought about my brother and it made me think what if I’m attracted to my brother. Now when I’m around him I get worried I’m going to have some sort of physical feeling or attraction to the point I basically freak myself out and have intrusive thoughts that I do or am while talking to him. And now I’m just avoiding even being home. Ik it’s awful and I never felt anything like this before and I know I don’t have any but I keep thinking about the feeling aspect. And whether those feelings/thoughts were true.

I’m struggling with every type of intrusive thought ocd you can think of at the point. And even if I can get over the it’s just a thought part all I can think about is the guilt and shame of even feeling the way I did in the first place. I mean I feel so sick that I felt that way I want to seek reassurance because I feel so unlovable because of it. I know that my thoughts are just thoughts. But sometimes the thoughts feel so real and like I have actual feelings attatched to the thoughts which makes it worse and feel like more then “just thoughts”. Idk if that makes sense.

I’m so stressed. And not stressed as in normal stress but im on a ledge and i’m so close to the end of it. These feelings in my soul are pushing me closer to that edge. I feel like i’m about to explode. Im sick of living like every god forsaken day. I see no point nor purpose to be here besides the fact that I would be a dead son, student, friend, and etc. Im only here because of other people and i’m so done. And i’ve had these god awful mood swings where one moment i’m happy sometimes even better than usual and I get stuff done and I smile. Then like the next day it’s back to where I was, cold dark empty and alone. I feel hopeless, I can’t control my emotions and it’s so overwhelming. I want to scream and cry and rip my hair out. Im only 15. Why couldn’t I be like other teens? Why couldn’t I just have a normal family life? Why couldn’t I have what everyone else has? Why do I fucking struggle while everyone else gets to exist as happy as ever. IM DONE. Im so sick of this constant cycle. And it doesn’t fucking help that my dad is gone. WHY ME? I have always been kind and loving to people even when they don’t fucking deserve it and this is what I get? I pray, I hope things change cause I don’t want to see tomorrow if this is what will happen.

Anyone tried Fluvoxamine for their OCD??

This is a little win for me, I had rated the exposure quite high in things that would trigger me and it didn’t trigger me half as much as I thought. How often and how many times would you suggest doing exposures? And do you do the same ones?

Can anyone relate to the fear of blood clots? That makes up 80% of my OCD. I’m primarily health OCD but I also have religious OCD. I’m a Christian (I think) and I’m terrified I’m not actually saved and am not going to be with my family when I die.

I'm back, unfortunately! I'm trying to remain positive as I have been doing so good, but I have a question.....I have been taking 2 (100mg) Zoloft for a while now and it has helped tremendously, well unfortunately I started running low on them and my appointment to have them refilled is tomorrow, so I had started breaking them in half to get me by. Well, I am on day 3 or 4 of just taking a half instead of 2 whole ones and I am just curious if it's possible for my symptoms to start appearing again so soon? Considering I went from 2 a day to a half, anything feedback is welcomed!

Hi ! I have hocd and my ocd told me that if I discover that I could prefer woman more than my parter I would have to leave him unless I'm lying to myself. After overthinking it, I came to the point that it could exist a women that would be sexier, more understa,more nice than my partner. I came to the idea that it was okay and because I love him and I don't need more , and I was afraid about this thought because I'm just scared about homosexuality. But no matter what I tell to my fear, I'm still afraid about it because I feel like I'm mentally blocked about it and that I have to leave my partner to go with a women , and if I don't do that I will never feel relief . The fact is that I know that's ocd and I don't want to do it. I love my partner and I just want to undo this blocage. How can I do?

6 weeks of a higher dose of Zoloft than I was on previously and I’m finally notice a big difference 🫶 just two weeks ago I was crying to my mom so frustrated saying how much Zoloft and therapy is it going to take to feel normal again. Recovering is a HARD process but it’s possible…I’m not out of the woods yet but let this be a little glimmer of hope for you today

My boyfriend left me at the beginning of the year because he couldn’t handle my constant paragraphs or hours and hours long of conversations over my intrusive thoughts. Which I do understand, it all revolved around sexual/relationship/Pocd/a lot more… it began to affect his mental health and well being.. I’ve started doing it again after he’s coke back, multiple times, in the past 2 days I’ve done it twice. He told me he cannot handle this and it’s affecting our relationship. Even when he’s standing there telling me please I don’t need to hear this. Or has told me countless times he understands and trusts me and knows I have ocd, I just keep pushing my boundaries with him. I feel so shit I literally have a whole mental breakdown hitting myself in the face and screaming and crying my eyes out and more if I can’t confess at times. Ocd is the most horrible thing I’ve ever been through. Can anyone give me advice on how to stop confessing? Can anyone give me some ERP techniques for my types of ocd. I’m actually so lost

Hello everyone, I’m interested in peoples experience with taking Sertraline and how it helps to control intrusive thoughts? Been on 50mg now for just under 8 weeks but this week feels like I’m going backwards. Tiredness, increase in sticky intrusive thoughts and fatigue. Started obsessing over my dreams at the weekend and think I have a cold too which is not helping. I don’t really feel the anxiety like I used too, feels like a can of coke that has been shaken waiting for the can to be opened if that makes sense! I have seen the doctor this week and because my GAD and PHQ scores are 0 and 2 it was decided to stay on 50mg with the a view of coming off them in about 6 months if I feel it is something I want. ERP starting on the 25th October.

Today was a crash day. After multiple long days of school, working out, and late nights I sort of crashed today. I had some paint stuck on my hands that wouldn’t come off, and I accidentally spent an extra 20 minutes in the shower obsessively trying to get it off. As the day progressed and I slowly got more stressed, I could like physically feel myself getting like uptight and OCD. I could physically feel my eyes bulging almost and in the strangest way I could feel like a pressure in my head that was onset from the OCD. I can normally tell that I get more OCD when I’m tired and stressed and today was especially evident. I didn’t want to go to class, and everything in me wanted to just sit in my car and scroll through social media. I went to class but then could not focus whatsoever on the assignment. After this I went home and napped for a couple hours. This seemed to help a lot. But then I woke up stressed because I remembered a job I was supposed to do but didn’t get done because I was sleeping. The rest of the day was much better. Sleeping sorta of resets my brain. And the rest of the night I was in a social setting. But it’s so frustrating because I feel like I can’t control whether I’m in this state or not. And some days it’s much more subtle than this. This past 3 months as a whole have been immensely stressful. I have noticed my disfunction and ruts come every semester. I was dedicated to getting over this, but after a really terrible breakup I am in this sort of hole which has me feeling alone and overwhelmed by this mental inability to keep up. No one I know has OCD. The breakup was a huge tole though. I’ve tried everything to heal, to numb, and to cope. Everything healthy and unhealthy. But I just can’t comprehend how someone can go from 1 week “let’s get married” to the next “God is telling me to break up with you”. And apparently the next part of that process for her was getting with her camp co-counselor. Less than a month later. And I’m left with the pieces and the lies. This was someone I’ve been best friends with for years. It has been betrayal, and heart break. I know all that’s in the past though. And I’m trying desperately to forgive her. But I can’t get her out of my head no matter how hard I try. It’s been 3 months, and still no luck. She’s in my dreams, and in my thoughts. The days never seem to get any better. I had this grand future built in my head, and now I have to rebuild the pieces with what I have. I just feel so rejected and alone. Thankfully have had friends and family to talk to. But I feel like I really need therapy. I’m rediscovering the deeper issues such as childhood trauma, and coping mechanisms. But I need someone to help walk me through this. I have someone set up but it’s been weeks of miscommunication trying to get a date set up. I’m supposed to see him next week so I’m hoping that goes well. I’m never really on this app. I have a hard time getting to a journaling state of mind, because when I open up my thoughts it’s like Pandora’s box, and I just want everything to get out at once. I don’t normally have the patience to do that in journaling however. So this entire post is just a journaling rant. Maybe someone has a relatable experience or some insight.

Anybody else pick their fingernails then put the nails in their pocket? I’m going through a not littering phase.

Does anyone get thoughts like what if i want to go back to my ex? What if i like him? Etc etc or compare my previous relationship with my current one, like oh maybe he would’ve done x or y differently, And start fighting in my head thinking its true, and feel like im lying to my partner. Please comment so i feel less alone and not crazy, and actually relax from this

i’ve done some pretty shit things in the past and whenever i hang out or talk to my friends, i can’t help but feel like i should tell them what happened. i don’t wanna seek reassurance but i don’t know how i should go on with our friendship with knowing i have done something bad as a kid. only one other friend (+ siblings) knows about this but other than that no one knows.

I’m really scared and frustrated. I was doing okay. Yes I had intrusive thoughts here and there but I was able to calm myself down till now. So I’ve been in a relationship for over a year and 11 months almost two years basically and so the other day some kid randomly pretended to hit me (old friend) and I was like “what the hell count your days” then I told my bf knowing he wouldn’t like what that kid did and he didn’t and my bf said it sounded like I was playfully playing with that kid to for saying count your days but I said it as a joke I wasn’t being for real. So I started to feel like I can’t talk to guys without my bf getting upset or jealous. Like personally I joke around a lot with my friends I’m really funny I say random things, use accents, just anything and people laugh and I feel like I can’t do that with guys cause then my boyfriend will get upset. So it makes me feel kinda trapped like if I can’t talk to males or do things like I used to like yes I know I’m not supposed to be touchy like of course not I love my boyfriend but I don’t want him to tell me to not talk to males but then it sounds like I want male friends and I hate it cause I shouldn’t want that it’s more like I wanna be able to have a convo with one without my bf obv getting upset or jealous. Then again it just sounds like I want male friends and I hate that so much. It makes me feel and think do I miss being single and free?? Like no being single was so boring now I have my bf I don’t wanna think about being single and free my mind tells me to go be single and mess around like I used to. I don’t want to. I hate the words “don’t commit young go out and explore” because it makes me feel like Im missing out and I don’t wanna do that you know? Like why can’t I just be happy and secure in my relationship :/ without these thoughts. These are the most bothersome thoughts ever. I don’t wanna think about them nor do what they tell me but it feels like I do but no :/

When i see couples together, specially people who been together for years i get so triggered and start thinking that can’t be me because i dont see a future with my partner, i want this to stop. Please lord help me. These thoughts are stopping me from going out, making plans, being happy together. We have a vacation next year and im scared to go, because im going to be ruminating and disconnected. I’m scared we move in and i cant control my mind