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Has anyone looked up anything to do with figuring out if you are gay And then feeling more gay and like you identify with the information And make it worse to get out of

Okay just a quick question Has anyone else thought in their head about telling people that they are worried they are gay And then someone reassuring you that you are not But then instead of feeling reassured you feel annoyed as if you are gay But you don't want to be gay But you feel gay THIS IS SO CONFUSING

I am freaking out with panic. It feels like I want to or have to hurt my boyfriend and it’s causing me to have the worst panic attack I’ve had in a while. It feels like I should be in a mental institution and all I want to do is cry. I know at a time like this I need to lean into the anxiety but I’m absolutely terrified. Please. Anyone. Words of wisdom or encouragement. It feels so different than normal and of course I’m so worried this is not OCD. how could it be? It’s so convincing and scary.

I haven't been going through this ocd journey very long, maybe 3 months or so that it has actually impacted my life negatively. Since this started, I cut out caffeine and alcohol completely. I wasn't a big alcohol drinker before but I did enjoy a drink from time to time and I love coffee. I'm curious to know what you guys think about how either one affects your ocd. And also, if I keep avoiding them completely, would that be considered avoidance?

Life is so intense most of the time. I honestly can't function like other people do. I need to shower 3 times a day or I get overwhelmed and when I get overstimulated I get madddd. Like not like yelling but just silent and the need to communicate that I usually have goes away and I end up feeling really mean. I live in a group home and I'm always around people. Don't get me wrong, this is nothing new for me. I've lived in DCF for my whole life and with other people my age my whole life ya know? It's what I know. Buttt, I'm in high school and I work 3 jobs. I feel like I never have time and honestly I like it that way until I hate it that way. A lot of the time I push my own needs aside and I know how bad that is for me as someone who is diagnosed with CPTSD and Sensory processes. And OCD of course. My OCD presents as organization with my life. I need to feel like I'm in control and will push myself to a breaking point trying to do the absolute most that I can be doing while staying so strict about how I exist. I find myself breaking down every week in some type of way. I always get through it. The fact that I get through it proves to me that I can and will keep going but that doesn't mean it isn't so hard. I don't have a Mom and dad to fall back on if I mess up. I'm 18, if I do mess up bad enough DCF will kick me out and I'll be homeless. So I work. I work and I get straight As. Motivated by wanting a future and needing a place to sleep and food to eat. I like DCF but it's so hard having such pressure on me sometimes. I'm also the oldest in my house and the other people come to me when they need me. Keep in mind, one of my jobs is working at a therapeutic school with 5th graders that have IEP's. I love the job, I love the kids. Sometimes though, I don't get out of that mode when I go home. I also work at Dunks as a head closer. The second I turned 18 they gave me the title which was amazing but also so much pressure. I only turned 18 in September I love it though, don't get me wrong. It's kind of therapeutic to make coffee for people. But then I go home and it's just people and more people. In a place I'm supposed to be able to relax I literally can't sometimes and it messes with my time management which I get super OCD about. I hate being late. I also got called arrogant today by my third job. I work at a print shop and he told me that if I was going to go into the phyc field I need to be more humble. Yes I do talk about my jobs and sometimes I just don't answer people when they talk. And I am proud of the things that I'm doing and how I'm doing them because I built MYSELF. I don't and never will have mommy and daddy to fall back on. If I mess up I mess my whole life up. I know as someone who has been around phycology my whole life that arrogance comes from insecurity most of the time. I am insecure. I put a face on because working three jobs is hard. Keeping up with my personal relationships is even harder. Ya know, sometimes keeping myself breathing is a struggle too. I wake up every day and I say im going to do it because I HAVE to. I have no choice. This is my life untill I got to college. This is my world and I might as well make the best out of it. But I think he's right, holding my head so high because inside it's actually so low is pushing people to see me as arrogant because I am being arrogant. I can't push my feelings aside and look at someone and say "I hate this so much" I have to act like it's easy. If I don't then I won't do it. Because I can't bring myself past it yet. I've been stuck in a pity party towards myself before and it's not something I ever want to do again. So I act like I know everything so no one can doubt anything and they won't wanna ask questions. It's a wall I built to get to the place I need to go and that's honestly just pure survival right now. But he's right, I am arrogant. And it is immature to think like that but it's easier right now. People who see through my bullshit are the ones I keep around. I'm glad he told me though and I'm not mad. It's the people who are willing to risk a relationship with you to tell you about yourself that are the real ones. That was a lot, but yeah. Life is weird. I don't expect advice or you to read through this whole thing but that's where I'm at. Have a good existence, you can do this.

How does one tell the difference between hocd and internalized homophobia? I’m currently struggling to figure out if I’m actually gay or my hocd is making me believe that I would actually be okay with being with a girl. I was never against LGBTQ, I would see gay people and think nothing of it, If anything “good for them”, I much l never felt attracted to girls I just acknowledged beauty. I have hocd which started with random thoughts of my friend when I wasn’t even around her, I was going about my day and a RANDOM thought came up “what if we had sex” and I spent 3 days, day in day out trying to figure out if I was attracted to her. That ended when I saw her again cause I felt no attraction. Months later, we were 🍃 together and another RANDOM thought came to my head, “what if I kissed her right now” that in it of itself was a thought and nothing more. It stopped there. I’m in a long term relationship with a guy I love very much and have been experiencing ROCD for months prior. One day I watched a show with a gay couple and since then I’ve been thinking back to the thoughts I was having about my friend and obsessing over whether I was attracted to her. I try to picture a life with her and I simply can’t. I feel no connection to the LGBTQ community and seeing gay couples I do feel any desire for it. But I cannot stop the compulsions and obsessing over HOCD. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if what I’m feeling is actual attraction or false attraction. It’s gotten to the point where my mind is so clouded and overwhelmed I cannot see myself with either sex and I’m doubting my love for my boyfriend. There are moments where I’m with my friend and I feel like there’s attraction (with anxiety and distress) and others where I feel no attraction at all. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t wanna say what disease or illness is making me over think because I don’t wanna trigger anyone but I’ve had a really bad spike :( anyone know how to cope with severe health anxiety and rumination

I don’t know if anyone else deals with this but my ocd sometimes will be like “you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself” and then I end up not caring about my self progress and my self care. How can I get out of this mindset?

Recent world events have me stressing so much about the state of the world and I’m panicked that the world is gonna end and I won’t be able to live the life I want and the thought of other people suffering is incredibly distressing. It’s stupid I know. But I can’t rly enjoy anything. The second I enjoy myself a thought pops in like “hey you can’t be happy right now, remember this?” And it’s super stressful. I know I have no control so it’s pointless to stress about but I felt this way during Covid too. I hope nothing escalates to the point of like, apocalyptic catastrophe but my brain won’t let the thought go. It’s so silly I know.

Hello all, I’ve been dealing with OCD for years, and doing ERP therapy for several months to a year, and trying to really dive into doing exposures. I’ve done better with some triggers, and have improved since I first discovered I had OCD, but I still have the almost constant undercurrent of anxiety and I can get so tired. I don’t want to fall into feeling like this is going to last forever, but I also want to be realistic about the chronic nature of OCD. Do you have any tips for how you keep yourself encouraged even after what seems like a long recovery journey?

TW‼️‼️ So about 2 years ago I was sexually assaulted and triggered of a fear that I might of or will,I don’t really remember but I think it was a compulsion,I remember my friends and my sister and we were all outside and there was lots of people, I can’t remember the thought process but I remember walking and seeing who I thought was my sisters back turned and it turned out it wasn’t, i remember walking and thinking if I do brush past my sisters back it wouldn’t matter but I can’t remember if I was thinking “if I do brush past her bum or her back”and I’m so scared, I remember walking past and my elbow brushed past my friends bum and I’m scared if I did it on purpose or not I really can’t remember clearly,I immediately ran home and cried my eyes out, I know this probably sounds weird,

Typically every Friday I attend a faith based recovery. It's based off a 12-step program but it's for anyone who has any sort of hurts, hang ups, or habits. I started going roughly 2.5 years ago when I was fresh out of the hospital and where I accepted Christ into my life. Like I said, I typically go most Friday nights and my mom goes too. One week they'll have a lesson and the next week they'll have someone give their testimony. Which is always moving to hear because you hear people's stories of how they dealt with so much and how Christ saved them. Well I feel my ocd is hooking onto this because sometimes I would Choose not to go. When I don't go, sometimes I'll feel bad. I'll worry if my mom, or the people there will think less of me if I don't go. Or I worry if God will be disappointed for me not going. So it's like if I choose to go, I feel I'll be going to prevent that. Then, if I choose not to go, I'll wonder/fear if I should've went and what people may think. So I'm curious what y'all may use for decision making ?

Idk if I actually have feelings for my coworker or if it’s hocd, before this I never looked at her that way but now it feels like I’m actually attracted to her. I find myself subconsciously checking how I feel around her and I always end up feeling something. The thing is I Can’t see myself in a relationship with a girl, I cannot see myself committing to a girl. Intamicy with a girl does not seem satisfying to me at all. However for whatever reason with my coworker I find myself constantly checking how I feel and then end up feeling something like an urge to kiss her or an urge to be close to her, I never had that before. So now I constantly ask myself can I see myself with her in this situation? In this situation? And the answers are always no but I always find myself asking the same questions. I don’t know if I’ve been thinking about this so obsessively that I’m conditioning myself to be okay w the thoughts and even think I might like them but I never once in my life wanted this, I never looked at a girl and thought oh I want that or had girl crushes or paid any attention to them more than the typical oh she’s pretty. I even have moments where I don’t think about the hocd and I’m working and we start talking and I feel nothing. It feels like a friendship but other times completely out the random I become conscious and check the feelings. What does this mean??

I am sure that by going to talk therapy that I actually didn't really need to go to I opened up the door for my mental health problems and the OCD that has come from that by talking about my previous grief and trauma and basically re living it all when I had already dealt with most of it in my own way

When certain thoughts related to rocd doesn’t cause any anxiety what to do then? Is it the truth?

Today has started off rough, I just have that horrible anxious feeling and sense of doom. My brain is scattered and I want it to stop. How do I sit with anxiety without ruminating when my brain tells me I have to figure this out and think about it?

i'm trying maybe maybe not for uncertainty my anxiety wants me to sit there and try figure things out it's so hard

does ocd make you isolate yourself from others and your interests? it feels like life has been zapped out of me for a long while now and i haven’t been able to do the things i love because something is holding me back i haven’t been talking to my boyfriend as much as i should because i’m afraid that i’m not good for him. or i’m afraid that he doesn’t love me anymore or if i’m cheating/if he’s cheating? it makes no sense and i know growing distance from people makes it worse, but i can’t get out of where i am right now i haven’t drawn or written because i don’t want any of my art to reflect where i am today. it’s been a big coping mechanism for me, but now it feels like i have nothing any help?

Im working on understanding what spiritual warfare means, and before i used to avoid this topic because it made my obsessions worse. I used to have that fear that satan tries to manipulate me to do bad things and this just made the obsessions worse where i felt like i will do them(basic ocd feeling like you want the thoughts) and when i found out about spiritual warfare, it made the whole thing worse, cause i believed in that more. I was afraid i will sell my soul to satan, i even felt like some part of me wants it, and what if it happens,I will let satan take my soul and nothing will help me take it back cause i will not feel like i want someone to save me. So i rather dealt it like its not real, however i still saw this topic many times. Now i learned about that but i still questioning if we really have to give so much importance to that,cause i see alot of christians talking about it like "you have to be ready,ask God for help cause noone can save you from this, its a war for your soul" and i dont want to say we have to act like its not real, cause it is, but i still see that many including me views this in a fearful way. When you identify every negative thought as satan tries manipulating you or he talks ro you, you give so much importance to the whole thing when maybe you just deal with thoughts...and i say this cause i suffer with that. It makes your ocd even worse(if you have obsessions about satan) if you say every negative thought is from satan and demons, you just put yourself in more fear. And many times i dont like to ask God for help when i feel anxious or scared, not beacuse i think i can do it without Him, its because i know that this will make ocd worse cause its reassurance seeking...and i feel like God knows why i do that, sometimes i have to remind myself that God is not stupid,He know my thoughts and my intentions, why i do things. This whole thing gives too much importance to our thoughts and ocd and we will just feel worse or live in this cycle forever. I hope God made me post this to help others who has the same problem and im not misleading anyone, cause i suffered and i still have problems with this. Also if you know more about spiritual warfare please share it cause i want to know how to view it so it doesnt make me spin.

I know this is terrible. And I shouldn’t be having thoughts like this but I read someone else who had these thoughts and my brain remembered a time I had an intrusive thought about my brother and it made me think what if I’m attracted to my brother. Now when I’m around him I get worried I’m going to have some sort of physical feeling or attraction to the point I basically freak myself out and have intrusive thoughts that I do or am while talking to him. And now I’m just avoiding even being home. Ik it’s awful and I never felt anything like this before and I know I don’t have any but I keep thinking about the feeling aspect. And whether those feelings/thoughts were true.