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the NOCD Community

I’m having an intense bout of relationship OCD right now and the rumination is too extreme. I would normally call someone but everyone’s asleep. Anyone got any advice or distractions right now?

My ocd has been not bothering me as much recently. But I was invited to go to a work conference and this is triggering! Basically one of my core ocd fears is that everyone in my field thinks I’m a laughingstock. When ocd was quite bad and affecting my work, I got fired… twice. I also abruptly quit one of my jobs and did really poorly on another job. I didn’t realize it was ocd at the time that was affecting my work. A lot of my work in therapy after getting diagnosed was connected to work. Now, I don’t feel like ocd is tangled up in my work life anymore. Except I have to go to this conference alone where I will be surrounded by respected peers in my industry. I feel ashamed that I don’t have a bigger community in my professional field, which I’ve been working in for a while. Ocd tells me to ruminate on having “the right number of contacts.” Ocd tells me that people have been gossiping about me due to how I got fired in the past. Ocd makes me really really wish I understood where I stood in the industry, how people actually think about me. Any thoughts on ERP? How to be present in the moment at the conference?

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I’m struggling with so much confusion and stress right now and I’m losing my mind over a relationship. Idk if I have ROCD or not at this point, I just can’t stop obsessing over the awkward or weird things my partner says or does, he’s just a generally weird person sometimes and idk how to explain it in words but it’s off putting and an “ick” at times but he is so great and I don’t know what to do or how to get rid of these thoughts and feelings and idek if it’s ROCD because these thoughts and feelings aren’t all fake, they are based on underlying fact because it is true he’s weird and odd and awkward at times. but I don’t want to keep feeling this anxiety and confusion over whether these thoughts mean I should leave or not. Every time I have these feelings of ick I feel the urgent need to decide whether those feelings are inherently wrong and if I should leave. And I can’t tell if I want the bad thoughts and feelings to stop or if I want the “ick” behaviour to stop. I don’t know what I feel anymore. Is it bad if I want to “ick” behaviour to stop? Ughhhhhhh I’m losing my mind right now. I’ve cried so much this month. I’m losing it.

I had a dream that I liked this boy and I’m a girl is it a good sign that’s I’m straight but when I woke up I started to get thoughts about girls and they feel real they deal that I like girls and I don’t want to

Hi. I struggle with intrusive thoughts a lot and I don’t know how to deal with it. They scare me so much I end up crying. I have many panic attacks because of them. I don’t want to sound crazy. I swear I would never think these things but sometimes when I’m near people or something a random thought “I hope you die” comes in my head. And I would never wish that on anyone. And the worst part is, it happens with people i love and care for so much. I know these thoughts aren’t me. I swear they aren’t but I still get so anxious about them. They make me feel like I have to tell the person it involves and I don’t want to do that. I’ll sound crazy. I’ll sound horrible. I’d never wish that on anyone. I care for everyone and everything whether I know them or not. Idk what to do. I obsess over these thoughts even tho I know it’s not me. Currently crying writing this.

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

Does anyone happen to know of a community similar to this for people with ADHD that you don’t have to pay? I am not abandoning this one but thought the more support options the better. Thanks!

I'm curious if anyone else thought they had a different illness or has even been formally misdiagnosed. For me, OCD *always* came up in Google search results when I was looking up my symptoms. But I always dismissed it thinking "there's no way I have that!" because of my false preconception of OCD being purely about cleanliness and counting. My symptoms involving mood swings and my obsessions/insecurities with how other people perceive me made me believe I had BPD for several years. Even then, it didn't feel right. I felt sort of bad discussing the possibility with my friends because I still thought "but it doesn't feel as severe as they describe it..." It wasn't until my recent (and so far worst) flare up that I specifically searched for intrusive suicidal thoughts that I discovered suicide OCD is exactly everything I had been experiencing. I cried with relief, knowing I wasn't simply going crazy.

I am new to this. The first two sessions I thought were kind of hard but I left them feeling excited for a future of growth and healing and breaking out of OCD’s grip. This last session was more intense and my compulsions ramped up after; I feel exhausted & I’ve tried sitting with my feelings and it does help them calm a bit but they won’t go away entirely and I’m edgy, exhausted and discouraged. I hate OCD.

(Very triggering rant) If you’ve read a previous post of mine, my partner and I have been invited on a weekend long trip by his coworker. It’s to a comic convention, which I’ve dreamed about attending with my bf for many years now. Here’s the issue: It’s in a crime-ridden city, it’s over a duration of days, and..Well, it’s with my boyfriend. My family is painfully strict. Last year, I asked my family if my bf could visit me at my college for my last formal. I had intense paranoia leading up to asking, and my therapist had reassured me that my fears were senseless. And yet, my intrusive thoughts came true. My parents were so upset that I would even consider such a “dirty,” impure thing as inviting my bf to stay at a DIFFERENT DORM over multiple days, and to attend a dance with me. My dad insisted to me that “no man or women can ever resist temptation” (his words not mine), and concluded that I’ve clearly been sleeping around (I’m a virgin) and will get pregnant and ruin my life if he visits. After contending them on these insane accusations, I had my spending money taken away. When I asked for certain information so I could get a job to make money, I was screamed at and they refused (I wasn’t allowed to get a job until I graduated college). Eventually, it culminated in my parents threatening to disown me for “choosing to betray the family” (their words, not mine), including preventing me from contacting my sisters. They told me they were ashamed of me, that I had become God-less because of my boyfriend, that I’m not even the same person. I was silent from shock. My parents did not like that. And so they lied to my sisters and told them that I was willing to give them up for my bf, which I never said. That one action drove me over the edge. I gave in. Immediately my parents were all loving and sweet. That sudden shift was terrifying. It reminded me of television, it was that unsettling. Now, a year later, I want to ask to go to this event, but I’m TERRIFIED. Not of them saying no (because I figure they will say no), but of what could happen if I EVEN ASKED. My boyfriend wants me to stand up to my parents and ask, but I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t think my boyfriend quite understands what I went through last year. It was TRAUMATIZING. My family pretends last year didn’t exist. They haven’t brought it up since. But bringing this new trip up, well, that could unearth everything. I’m terrified.

At this point I am so confused and unsure if I have ROCD, I’m not seeing much of anything that sounds similar to what I am dealing with and would like some clarity. My issue isn’t so much “I’m so in love, but doubt it”, it’s not so much thoughts of “what if I secretly don’t like him”, it’s that I love a lot of things about this person, but get “put off” or “not attracted” feelings from different behaviors of his, to the point it feels like I’m dealing with a different person, like a kaleidoscope. In these moments it feels like my emotions and feelings are constantly changing. I can’t tell if my OCD is nitpicking his every gesture, mannerism, hobby, and interest, or if his personality just doesn’t resonate with mine. And I don’t want to be so obsessed or anxious over these feelings or being convinced I urgently need to figure out if these feelings are bad or if they mean I should leave or if I can handle those off putting things for the rest of my life. I’m so confused and lost

Am I bad person? My mom passed away from brain cancer a few months ago. A friend of mines mom also has cancer. But their mom has been improving and doing better. While I’m happy for them I’m jealous that they get their mom to be able to recover and mine died. I feel really bad feeling this way but it just doesn’t seem fair

I was changing my baby’s diaper this morning, and I struggle with horrible intrusive thoughts that I have inappropriately touched my children anyway. The thoughts of now is your opportunity or you can do it now, or some thing thoughts came into my head. I knew what was happening. I proceeded to wipe my baby’s butt cheek, and it may have not even needed, wiped anymore, and part of the wipe touched his butt hole. So now I may have intentionally done this following the thoughts so now I for sure intentionally touched him in appropriately because he may not have even needed wiped right there again but I did it impulsively with the absolutely disgusting horrible thoughts in my head. Did I actually touch him inappropriately now? Why didn’t I just not wipe and put the diaper on? Especially if he didn’t need wiped!!

It’s so lovely to have a micromanager as a boss. I have contacted hr to fill out fmla papers to protect myself. She has no compassion for anyone. It’s so hard to get to the office with traffic, jurors and an awful parking situation. Add insomnia to that, and you have a problem. If I was sure I’d like the workplace nearer to my house, I’d try to transfer, but I don’t know. I can’t stand my boss. I wish she had issues that tortured her like I do. She deserves it. I went through complete hell yesterday and today, she gives me grief. Get lost

does anyone else really struggle with feeling like their feet are uneven when walking on sidewalks that have lines or floors that have indents. For example; if a certain part of my left foot touches the line (like the middle of my foot) as i walk, i have to touch the line on same part on my right foot. Also, having to even out which foot i start and end with for each sidewalk square, like if i end on my right foot more than 3 times ina row i start to feel the panic set in and end up having to do stutter steps to even it out. it’s really embarrassing, especially when i’m with people or people are around. it can also be quite exhausting.

The past two days felt like hell! But here I am, I got through it! Lapses for me are now few and far between, and they don’t last nearly as long, but boy, are they debilitating, paralyzing, and scary. For me, the hardest thing is getting up and keeping moving, which is the best thing for me. I felt paralyzed, but got up and went to work, and I found myself feeling great at work once I had a task to focus on! Someone suggested writing a list of things to do for the day, and that stuck out to me as a helpful way to “get up and going” when j feel paralyzed by my OCD. I wanted to share this technique because u found it SO helpful. I still went to the coffee shop in the AM (even though j decided not to get caffeine and stick with water) since it’s part of my routine, and I think going about my day as “normal” as possible was key. It was HARD AF but I HELPED PULL ME OUT! Find the inner strength you feel like you don’t have, but you DO. Keep fighting! 화이팅! 💪🏼

Hello I’m going crazy, literally. So I have a boyfriend that I love so so much, he’s my everything and I would anything to live all my life with him. However, my rocd isnt helping :( this is my first year in college, and I’m getting way too much male attention, and I really don’t know how to react to it never really got any attention like this when I was younger. Every time a guy hit on me or is even nice to me, my mind tells me yeah you’re in love with him! I hate it so much my boyfriend is the only guy that I would ever love, I just don’t know how to make the thoughts stop😭If you have any advice please help! Am I the only one?

Anyone please help !!!!!! How deal with checking things and when u look at it's okay but ur mind not ready to accept like When u off the stove of the gas u can see the flames goes off the sound u heard from the button and the positioning of the button....still u look closely to it and try to figure it out...is it actually off or not !! how to deal this...

Does anyone else struggle with p*rn and ocd. I feel as though ive watched something terrible or i got off to something terrible and if i did i only did it once but i cant forgive myself to move on. I feel i want to die.