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I just see my boyfriend's flaws and I feel we have to break up because we are not compatible and I dont think it s rocd

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life

Question: Given the differences of OCD and depression, how do you balance not seeking reassurance with comfort from others that you will be ok? Context: Hi all, I’ve recently found it challenging to manage both OCD and depression because I feel they require different strategies. I’m feeling managing OCD requires you to not seek reassurance, but at the same time, depression seems like you need someone to just tell you “it’s going to be ok.” Recently, I’ve been trying to not seek reassurance, but I feel that I’m not able to make the best decisions that way, and the weight of those led to a longer depression which includes intrusive thoughts that are hard to manage. I describe the relationship as a Venn Diagram, but OCD is on the top and depression is at the bottom, and the intersection is the threshold/breaking point that can lead to longer depression. Any advice from experience or perspectives that people can offer? I appreciate it.

So I have dealt with skin picking my entire life but over the past few months it has gotten so bad and I was wondering if anyone had like tips for how to curb the obsessive urge to scratch I have caused irreversible damage at this point and I really just need to curb the need to fulfill the urge.

I’ve experienced OCD since I was 11 years old (I am 29 now), and was diagnosed with it in 2021. So, I’ve lived more than half of my life dealing with this disorder in silence. I’ve recently been feeling like I’m no longer a good person. That all of the things I’ve held close to my heart and loved, no longer matter to me. As much as I try to go back to those things, it sometimes feels so foreign and makes me feel anxious. Has anybody else experienced this before? If so, what are some things you’ve done to help you find happiness and joy in the things you’ve cherished?

I absolutely hate and despise school with a living passion. I am 15 going on 16, a sophomore in high school and A LOT of things have caused me to hate despise dislike school. Because of this hatred I do almost anything to get out of it. But today I feel really bad. While most days when my mom lets me stay home I feel relief.. today I don’t. I’m already a habitual truant and failing one of my classes (out of six). Once once upon a time I used to be a A B student and used to do well academically, but when I started high school everything tanked. I fear for my future a lot. I lack belief in myself like most of my peers. Anyways… I feel so cruel and vindictive for asking to stay home. To know my mom could be blamed for my absence literally scares my soul. She doesn’t deserve what I put her through as a mom. I feel so bad.

As the title says I’m obsessive over my mistakes, and past actions to the point of exhaustion but also first of all- no one probably remembers or even knows to begin with these mistakes and yet I’m still punishing myself so hard I can’t even muster up happiness, I just binge eat and ruminate. But here I am cancelling my entire existence, feeling like my life is over that one too many mistakes makes my life unworthy. I wanna go back into society but I get this dread that my past will come back up and people will see it and hate me- hate me so much they kick me out of everything forever.

I have made extremely horrible childhood mistakes (harm ocd and pocd related) at the ages of 9-13... my OCD tells me that Im a horrible unforgivable person because of these real events, and that Im a monster... seeing all these famous people being accused for horrible crimes has made me question whether or not im just as bad as them or worse...

Not quite sure where to begin, but I’m just going to vent and write whatever comes to mind. As I write this, Im feeling a lot of distress. My heart is beating a bit faster. I’m feeling that chill of anxiety welling in my chest and running up my throat and scalp. There’s a slight, imperceptible tremble in my hands and arms. I haven’t felt this in a very long time. I’m on quite a few medications that block this rush of adrenaline that has threatened to consume me. I’m always hesitant - or rather - scared to write out my thoughts and feelings. There’s this part of me, the frail part of me, that is terrified these thoughts and feelings will materialize — as if they haven’t already. There are a lot of heavy emotions weighing on me tonight. For the last few days or so, actually. I notice, as I merely acknowledge these emotions, that the pit becomes larger in my stomach. I’m shaking more. I feel weak. It’s nights like these I wonder why the world is so cruel. Why therapy, psychiatry, stability, and help can’t be easily accessible for people like me. As I lie in bed writing this, I have so many thoughts and ideas circulating. They shift from one to another so rapidly I have a hard time keeping track and I become overwhelmed. I feel suffocated and trapped by my mind. For some, it’s freeing. For me, it is a prison. Why can I not see through your eyes? Why can you not see through my eyes? Why can you not empathize? Why can I not speak so eloquently in person? Why do I have to be so misunderstood. This idea is depressing for some people. Saddening. For me, it is horrifying. Why can I not see myself? Why can I not see me the way you do? Why can I not see the colors, shapes, and numbers you do? I spiral into this unforgiving world of existential dread. People, places, things, they all look so strange. I’m viewing the trees and the grass through a wall of glass. I’m feeling the wind, but I’m so numb. I can hear birds, but there’s cotton in my ears. I’m standing here, but I’m not. Family, friends, home, they look so unfamiliar. I question whether I’ve known these things my whole life or not. I question where the sky is, where God is. If my only purpose is to live to die, then what is God’s purpose? And if it is greater than my comprehension, why can I not comprehend it? Why am I forced to be conscious, when self-awareness is killing me? Life is beautiful, and maybe heaven exists. But why hope for heaven when you can live the one life you are guaranteed? I try to remind myself. My life is good. My life is good. My life is good. I can eat, I can walk, I can breathe, I can sleep. I can dance, I can sing, I can write. So why am I so stuck? I’m so stuck. I can’t move. I want to curl up. The little girl inside of me is begging for help, to be held. But to held is to be touched, and to be touched is so, so scary. Because how can I be sure you understand? How can I be sure your touches are real? How can I be sure you’re real? Is the world in my head? Is this my life flashing before my eyes? Am I already dead? But life is good, God its so good! Because lavender, and baths, and cake, and cats. Please tell me it’s good. Please tell me I matter. Tell me I’m here for a reason. But why do I need a reason to live? To eat chocolate cake? Empty calories. Pasta and tacos and sauce and steak. Life is so good. My life is so, so good. I’m so privileged to have these pretty problems. And while I am thriving, dying, and trying to stay calm, there are other people more focused and consumed with surviving. I feel guilty. How could I? How dare I neglect these people whom I do not know— How dare I neglect the needy that are out of my reach? That are out of my capability? And now, for a moment I wonder… Why? Why am I so hellbent on finding an answer to all these inconclusive questions… when I could just not? Oh, the weight that would be off my shoulders If I could just not. I’m tired. I’m scared. I’m depressed. I ruin everything I love with my technicalities and fuel my dreadful fear of unimportance. I only want a purpose.

Scary intrusive thoughts For the past 8 months I’ve been terrified of developing schizophrenia, I’ve gone through various stages of this theme, like in the beginning I was really afraid of hallucinating and stuff like that but as the months and this obsession progressed I’ve become more afraid of having delusions and the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. In the beginning after watching a demonic horror movie or something I would start getting awful intrusive thoughts like “what if I start to believe my wife is a demon” or “what if I start believing the government is run by satan” or some shit, but now i get thoughts like that all the time and even without watching horror movies, and now the “what if I start to believe” part is gone and now the thoughts are like “what if my wife is a demon.. well you can’t prove she’s not” etc etc. my ocd or anxiety has really latched onto these delusional, demonic thoughts. I hate them so much, I have never ever believed in superstitious stuff like this before, I am a literal atheist and a secular humanist. What is wrong with me? Has anyone ever had intrusive thoughts like this?

I’m at a new location. Too much of trying to follow the rules is getting to me. What I think is my exceptional manners isn’t winning me any favour either tbh. It’s just wearing me out. I move on in one week. The hostel has this lovely dipping pool in the stream though. You can see the bottom.

Can anyone else with ROCD tell me their experience with it and their partner? How you’ve navigated it and how it’s affected you? I just need ti know I’m not alone with my thoughts that throw themselves into me when I’m with my girlfriend. Thoughts of hating her, of hitting her, breaking up with her, being angry for no reason, and more recently a forced numbness that scares me. I think the numb could be separate and could be stress and burnout from taking care of her the past few weeks emotionally without breaks pretty much and I’ve been drained and I’m scared my love for her won’t come back but I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure it will. I hope it will but before when I had these thoughts they scared me a lot more now in more numb to them. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t love her, or if I don’t want to be with her 24/7 then I shouldn’t be with her at all. Could anyone share their experiences?

I have been with my boyfriend in college for 4 months now. This is my first relationship and being in a relationship made me discover i have OCD, I never knew I had it before. How do I stop the ROCD from feeling so *real*? Does anyone else struggle with this? Suddenly my mind starts saying no this isn’t ROCD you’re just in denial and you need to break up with your boyfriend because you can’t “waste time” with him because it is probably going to end anyways. A huge trigger for me is also the fact that this IS my first love and I know those rarely last. I keep thinking this is just going to end in pain and heartbreak so I should end it now or what if I get stuck in this relationship and fast forward 10 years I wish I had dated someone else and not wasted my time and it ends in divorce or something. I feel so at war with myself and my OCD is so good at convincing me it’s real. Even right now I just had an attack and I swear maybe I do need to break up with him because of how bad my ROCD is itself. Anyone else feel that? like meta ROCD where “I need to break up with him because the ROCD is going to ruin things anyway”. Please help, how do I tell what I really want

I don't have a plan, nor I think I would be brave enough to kms but I'm suffering so much every day :( I don't see a way out. I would try nocd but they don't accept my insurance and that would mean to scalp my savings account and I'm afraid erp won't even work

does anyone feel like ever since they started with intrusive thoughts / compulsions that you feel as if your brain has turned to mush and your intellect has vanished. it’s really hard for me to string sentences together & i feel as if everyone who speaks about ocd has this way of putting it that i never will be able to. i’m still untreated & in the dark to be honest. when it comes about speaking about what ive been through as well i can’t remember everything only the really bad episodes, it’s like my brain is hiding it away from me waiting for a day for me to remember and traumatise me all over again. i’m also petrified of saying the wrong things to people and potentially worsening their ocd or seeming to be uneducated about it and like i have no idea what i’m talking about. i’m still learning but i’m frustrated that i feel as if i still don’t know anything. does that make sense?

What do you usually press when you’re selecting how much time to warm up your food in the microwave? Increments of 30 mins like 1:00, 1:30, 2:00 etc? Just realized I do Just Right compulsions with the numbers… thinking about pressing 2:00 is making me uncomfortable

I have bad intrusive thoughts about me committing past assault, rape, etc. Today, there’s a popular online streamer that’s being accused of SA, the allegations seem to be true to me at least. Now I’m having flashbacks or thoughts about a girl I dated years ago. I tried to make a move on the first night together, she said no and I respected that. But on the second night, I can’t remember if we were cuddling in the move theater and if we did, did I touch her chest and then further to her breast. I have rumination like was she uncomfortable, did I rape her, etc. Any advice would be appreciated

i’m struggling to find professional help in the uk for my mental health - i’ve been told i have ocd by my mental health nurse who also is in touch with doctors who also claim i have ocd but no one has sat down and diagnosed me. i’m trying to get a diagnosis & therapy because these past few years of intrusive thoughts & compulsions have completely traumatised me and ruined me as a person. i know this app is mainly for the US but ive seen a few uk posts. does anyone have any guidance or experiences in the uk that may help me?

I am so heartbroken. When I look back at my life I feel like I’ve always had some sort of rocd. But I’ve never had a partner who is trustworthy and provides security and stability to me. I used to worry so much about people leaving me, therapists and doctors would say this was anxiety. When I met my current partner, I worried myself sick that he was going to leave but this was so irrational because it was obvious that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying ever. Fast forward to a few months ago I had a harm OCD thought and that was horrific, I was so so terrified of my mind. I thought that I was going to commit myself. I finally got over this obsession & it morphed into fear of not “really” loving my partner and it has me questioning everything about our relationship. When I don’t want to. At all. We are supposed to be getting engaged this year.. and I want my future with him so bad but feel that these thoughts and fears is going to ruin my whole life. I just wish it could go away.. QUESTION- if you have experience with this please comment. I also don’t know how much of this could be trauma related (I’ve never saw a healthy relationship before) and how much I should dig into that? Or if I should really treat this as an OCD matter. I don’t want to hurt my partner, I love him so much. I feel like by being with him I am setting him up for failure… this is so hard.

I initially started therapy on NOCD due to sexual intrusive thoughts revolving around many taboo themes. The scariest one being POCD. Today, I can say that thoughts around this theme rarely impact my ability to live life and enjoy life. I thought that once I got over this theme, everything else would be easier. However, that’s not exactly the case. My obsessions have now attached to something which my mind believes to be scarier than being a pedophile, it’s being a necrophile. I am taking many of the things I have learned from therapy up to this point and applying it to this new theme, which has helped tremendously. Also, I’m not doing a lot of the harmful compulsions (before I knew what compulsions even were) that I did when I was in the thick of POCD e.g. rumination, checking, testing. I am much better equipped to tackle this new theme knowing that in the end ERP can work for any theme since it’s all just OCD. My issue is that when I brought this up to my NOCD therapist she had never heard of what necrophilia was or had any past experience with it, which was a little disheartening to hear. However, we thought of some exposures I could implement and am currently working on those. One of them being looking at photos of family members who are now deceased since my original fear came from a sexual intrusive thought I had about a deceased family member. Does anyone here have any suggestions on exposure to combat this theme? I understand it’s not the exposures themselves but the response prevention that leads to healing. However, in order to do the response prevention portion a good set of exposures would be great!