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the NOCD Community

I'm going to take up drawing again so when I can't do anything else, I have that to distress. I struggle with down time 😬 Are there any artists you like and can recommend to me? I want some references to go off to help me get better.

I made tons of mistakes mainly because of my lack of experience, but there's one that is actually hurting me more than any other, I have given up on over the love my life due to my deteriorating mental illness (OCD) and I know that I have caused her a lot of pain, I know that there are no Justifications for breaking people's heart but I wish she knew the amount of pain that I had to deal with due to my OCD, she knew I had it but she couldn't fathom the amount of distress that it caused me, I chose the coward's way out, I left just like that so I could figure what was wrong with me and now I feel like the most disgusting person on earth. Just wanted to get this of my shoulders, thank you for bearing with me.

I’m so confused right now. I found someone who romantically loves me entirely and who I romantically love completely back. They’re basically my perfect person, it feels like my soulmate. I told them to just be friends with me for now. Because I have this idea that I need them to share my faith with me, I was obsessed with it, it is by far the only thing that could be considered “wrong”. They respect my faith, they’ve done everything they can except convert (which I would be mad if they converted for me, that’s a personal decision that shouldn’t be made for another person.) I just have this idea that I need the emotional connection with them that would come from shared faith. It doesn’t help that I have some friends who believe an interfaith relationship wouldn’t work advising me. I’ve been obsessed on this, I keep asking everyone in my life for advice on it, I couldn’t eat or sleep or work leading up to the conversation trying to find “the answer.” Now that I’ve told them we should be just friends while I work things out so they’re not caught in limbo with me I’m worried I made the wrong decision, that they’ll move on before I know, that this whole “Need” of mine could just be OCD and I threw out the best relationship and person I love the most in my life for no real reason. Idk how much time it’ll take. Idk what’s me, what’s a reasonable doubt or reaction, I’m still struggling to focus on anything else in my life. How do I know if this is a genuine need of mine or if it’s my OCD convincing me there’s something wrong, I can’t trust myself or my own judgement but the decision has to come from us and he won’t proceed if I tell him not to because he’s amazing. Idk what to do, I can’t trust myself with anything. I know OCD is involved here because I’ve had other intrusive thoughts that didn’t stick as long that I was able to overcome because I do trust and love him so much. It just occurred to me yesterday that “the big problem” could be OCD getting in the way too. I also have trauma from an ex heavily manipulating me with my faith, despite that I told him right off the bat I didn’t expect him to be involved in that part of my life if he didn’t want to. I think that may be coming to play as well?

I get stressed when I can't work or can get about. I would love to read by my body is telling me I need to do something. What works for you with ocd when you're stuck at home? First struggle with ocd in a while

Have you noticed how when we have an intrusive thought our tendency is to automatically start trying to prove it wrong and argue with it, almost defending our self? Maybe we should be shouting back at ocd and say “no, you prove this, show me real evidence!” I’ll come up with all these reasons it’s not true and yet the thought persists!

About anxiety and ocd recovery? I swear if I hear yes that means we really can obssess over ANYTHING 😂

Like the thought are there but not really. I’m not stressed. Everything is just … flat. Something weird. 🤔

For context, these are online and I've been friends with them for a while (for a few months) and I decided it would be time to tell them about the intrusive thoughts. At this point I was very anxious and overwhelmed. It was on a call and I decided to give the two friends I've been friends with the thoughts I've been dealing with and the two seemed like they weren't understanding but trying to at the same time. The two seemed confused but they didn't say that they were uncomfortable and it made me uncomfortable talking more about it making me terrible and well I had to jump out of call (this was on discord). I deleted the app until I was ready. Cut to today which I log on only to be kicked out of the server without any warning. I didn't get a reason or anything. I'm a little upset but also wasn't surprised. I realised now that it may have been a bit too soon for me to open up about it and I should've given more time but I didn't know they how they would respond. I wish they could've just told me that they were uncomfortable instead of staying silent about it. I know it's a bit out of the ordinary for me to make this post. Although the writing was on the wall it just feels like a slap in the face.

Did erp work for you guys

I am dealing with really intense scrupulous relationship OCD. Idk if anyone else can relate but I have this debilitating fear God wants me to break up with my bf and it’s so difficult because I know I am a bit codependent and don’t spend enough time with God as I should. I know he is a jealous God and I keep thinking “what if God wants me to…” and getting intrusive thoughts masking as the Holy Spirit. I know I’m not as close with God as I should be, but I’m doing devotions and really trying, I just can’t hear his voice over all the anxious thoughts.

I'm trying so hard to make progress with my ocd, and I have an awesome therapist who is helping me make more progress than I have in a long time, but life keeps giving me big helpings of stress, worry, frustration, and emotional turmoil. Today's helping is, my father took a fall today and is in the hospital with a fractured hip. My parents are older and their health is facing challenges, as it does for older people. I am not prepared to deal with this. My parents live 2 hours away from my, and my ocd has made it impossible for me to get to see them this past year. I know my time with my parents is limited, and my ocd mind f's are keeping me for making the most of the time I have with them. I can't begin to explain how much I want to curse the stars or whatever it is that has this pile of misery it keeps dumping on me. I'm really sick of life tormenting me.

Hello! I am in a fairly new relationship (5 months) and I’m starting to struggle with Relationship OCD (I think?) I have begun to constantly question my feelings for this person (ex. do I love them enough, are they good enough, do I even like them) even though we have never had any major problems and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them. However, these thoughts have become so encompassing that I no longer feel able to connect to my real feelings for this person, which then makes the thoughts stronger. I will be discussing this with my therapist tomorrow but wanted to see if anyone here has had a similar experience. Thanks in advance!

Been diagnosed with ocd since I was 12. I’m 26 now. I’ve had many themes but this one won’t give I get repetitive thoughts of “what’s the point if we die” anything I do.. my brain goes “why you doing this what’s the point” if I see something fun I wanna do my brain goes “what’s the point”. I don’t consider myself depressed but maybe I am? Is this depression? These thoughts give me immense anxiety. I feel isolated and scared. I honestly feel like there’s no way out. Like I discovered something I can’t undiscover. I know this is super weird guyss. It’s super distressing for me. Is this existential one or something more? What if there is no cure to this? I’m so scared guys. I’m graduating nursing school in 20 days and I’m having a hard time trying to be happy with these thoughts.

I am clean and free from my porn addiction. I was 8 and now I'm 18. I didn't realize it was an addiction until now and all the shame is hitting me at once. I let my porn addiction take me to dark and sketchy places. Now I can't get over the shame of the actions I did. I was shameful before but now I accepted that it was an addiction, ive been so depressed and having thoughts about what I did and if I could go back and save myself now I would. I keep getting so many intrusive sexual thoughts about literally everything. People, places, things, animals and even children. I hate all these anxiety inducing painful thoughts. Does anyone have any insight on recovering from excessive thoughts?

How do I not shut down and go quiet and cry when my partner is trying to have an uncomfortable conversation with me is anyone else dealing or dealt with this ?

Hi, I’ve been thinking about opening up to some of the people in my life who I am really close with about my ocd. There are two things that I’m worried about. One is that I feel like since my ocd and my anxiety in general to make so much to be happening in my head and it’s seems to be jumping from theme, thought, or worry to another that I won’t be able to clearly explain it in a way that they will understand. I’m also worried about this turning into a confessing compulsion, confessing was one of my worst compulsions and was super hard to get under control and I don’t want to lose the progress I’ve made. Does anyone have any tips for this?

Hey yall I have pocd and one of the symptoms I have is the intrusive groinal response; it seems to be a pretty common one and from my personal experience seems to be more of a stress reaction. But lately I keep having nightmares where in the dream my fake dream self is actually distressingly “aroused” by minors and I wake up freaking out bc I’m worried I might have felt that arousal irl as well and it wasn’t just hallucinatory. I feel violated by myself and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and these dreams keep coming up. Does anybody else deal with this or have tips on how to let this go?

I’m so nervous, and sick to my stomach. I don’t know if I accidentally said a slur out loud when answering a question in class, and I’m trying so hard to remember all of the details. I know that I thought it the same time I answered but I’m still not sure. I’m trying so hard not to email my teacher to ask him if I did say something inappropriate or not, but it’s so hard. I just need to know—for certain.

Good night from Armenia, I wish us to overcome our intrusive bad feelings. Please share with me with your experience, have you had the feeling that the cause of having OCD was the wrong attitude toward you in childhood, it maybe children from school, from yard or members of family? Are there people that think that if something had not been hapenned to them in the past, now they would not being sufferred from OCD problems. Please share with your experience. I wish you good night and sooner overcoming of OCD. I share with you with one picture of our capital of Armenia in January 28 night.

hi ok so since I turned 16 I’ve wanted a tattoo or a couple and I’m currently 22 so I’ve been able to get one for a while, and my religious ocd is making it hard for me to get one or makes me go back and forth a lot with it. I think god will punish me for getting a tattoo. i grew up Mormon and I remember one time when I was a kid my mom was really sick (probably with the flu or something) and my mom prayed and said to Heavenly Father that if he made her feel better she would take out her piercings. and she felt better and so she did. And I kept wondering did god really do that? was that sickness punishment for the piercing? I want to get a tattoo of a flashlight. there’s a book I’ve loved since I was 16 where the main character has ocd (turtles all the way down by John green) and when she’s starting to recover or at least feel better in a moment her and her friend are going in a dark drain and her friend says she’s terrrified and it’s so dark and the main character grabs her and turns off her flashlight and says, this is scary, and then turns it back on and says this is control, we just don’t see it that way because things feel so heavy right now but we have a lot more willpower and say then we think. and ever since then I wanted to get a flashlight. I’m just scared I’ll be punished.