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the NOCD Community

Its my birthday but im not celebrating😔 why celebrate when things just keep getting worse for me im not happy at all😐

How do you deal with ocd and laundry. Sometimes I forget I put laundry detergent in. I fight my ocd and put the clothes in the dryer but then I freak out briefly that I didn’t put detergent in and ruined the dryer. I wish I could have a camera to record me putting detergent in. Also, does anyone battle washing something potentially contaminated with other clothing. What do you tell yourself to get over these irrational thoughts

Is this an OCD thing: just the general sense of worry or dread something bad may happen in the future? For example: planning a trip, and the thought "you could die by then!" Or something similar but related to loved ones?

Ugh did SOCD ERP watching gay porn and actually got off! Initially it has thrown me through a spiral but without reassuring myself, I realize porn is porn. Slowing coming down from a bad spiral and would just love some words of encouragement, not reassurance.

i know people say to just accept it but im so tired i genuinely just dont care if im this or if im that. I just want the thoughts to stop. Thats all. But i feel like a bad person for not caring anymore. any advice?

My thoughts are so loud today even just normal overthinking when I don’t know what’s related to my ocd anymore I’m trying to stay positive but sometimes it’s hard to get through the day especially when I can’t talk to anyone My head hurts and my sleep has been not good lately like I know I’ll be okay but sometimes just feels like a mess and my head won’t shut up

Hello all! Please share a small success you experienced this week before it ends! Here are mine: -I went to a park full of kids (no intrusive thoughts and rumination) -Spent quality time with partner and stopped myself from ruminating -started eating normally again -Did not miss therapy

Anyone else get stuck with shitty religion teachers or pastors that tried to convert people with fear in the past? I got stuck with that as a kid and still can't shake the existential dread and angst, and its been over seven years. I get into a panic and all the hard work that I have dont to improve myself and my knowledge of spirituality and religion goes right out the windo and I am stuck in a bout of dread, rumination, and physical discomfort.

Intrusive thoughts destroyed who I've always known myself to be, I wish I could go back to when I trusted who I was and my morals. I'm constantly paranoid that I've lied about terribly awful things and theyre gonna come out and haunt me. What a sad way to live :(

idk if this is even ocd related, or if anyone relates, but im so sad about growing up. im gonna be twenty in 2 years. its not even a regular sad. i get like nauseous and a pain in my chest like when ur HEARTBROKEN. i cant think about my upbringing and especially my teenage years, and what i wasted, or time and memories i will not get back. I always get sad how I’ll never be 14,15,,16, again(this also makes my pocd act up but anyways lol). realizing I’ll never be able to experience an era of my life ever again really is gut wrenching to me. I can’t think about it too long or I’ll cry and feel really depressed. how do I feel better about this?? help??!

I saw a video where a kid was trick or treating and the dude filming opened the door and pulled out a knife on him and said “get away from here. quick.” and it was in response to a trend asking users to quote the tweet with the funniest videos that live in their head rent free. I laughed and thought it was funny because it was so random, but then I saw the comments like “that was so disturbing, what’s wrong with everyone who’s laughing at this?” and I totally agree. I feel horrible for laughing. It was just so random and it was posted in the context of being something funny. I wouldn’t ever condone doing that in real life, but with the internet it feels like a barrier and honestly I’m so desensitized to seeing stuff like that. I want to completely get off the internet because in reality that WAS disturbing and completely fvckd up and I wouldn’t be laughing if someone did that to my niece. I feel horrible. Am I horrible person? I don’t even want to think about it anymore. I deadass just don’t want to be here tbh and I don’t think anybody cares if I am here anyways so ✌🏽

Has anyone ever had an accepting response when telling a partner? I don’t feel like I can be honest because I’m afraid they’ll leave me for being a monster or just never see me the same

Any success stories with ROCD and ERP? Would love some encouragement❤️

I haven't changed my underwear in about a week and a half because I don't have any clean underwear, it's all dirty and for some reason I just can't suck it up and do the laundry this time so I've just been wallowing away in my bed feeling and smelling gross, when I think about doing the laundry I get exhausted at the thought and then I think I'm a disgusting failure and then I just don't try at all and I just lay down and sleep to escape it all I don't understand why it's so hard for me to function like other people, my room is a disaster and idk where to start, I'm spiraling so badly, I have a pile of trash in my room that I'm for some reason just waiting for the "perfect moment" to throw away, I can't do this anymore, and I never say anything to my therapist because it's so fucking embarrassing even though I KNOW that she's there to help me through this, I can't bring myself to show anyone the state I let myself live in, I feel guilty and lazy and dumb. I need to ask for help but idk how, I've had help so many times with this and my room always gets worse, I hate my room, I want my old room back, I think I do this to show that I need my old room back? But I can't have it for reasons I don't feel like explaining rn because it's complicated, I miss my childhood room, it was perfect and it had everything I wanted and it was just taken away from me, I didn't mind it being taken, a room is a room, but I'm so possessive of my things and I like to have my things exactly as they are so I don't change anything ever. Even if that means cleaning my room, this is what I know now and I refuse to change it. I wanna fix this so badly

My hands are so damaged from washing them , any tips from anyone I wash them so much because they don’t feel clean enough or I don’t want certain germs from something I’ve touched They have gone dry and sore with cuts and are bleeding

How do get rid of intrusive thoughts?? And how do you know that they’re intrusive thoughts if you started thinking of them? Or if you feel like you’re the one who’s thinking of them rather than them just popping in your mind? Like if you’re looking for it, like you’re looking for trouble… Anyone else feel like this too?

Anyone have any compulsions they didn't realize were compulsions? I ruled out OCD as a possibility for a long time because I didn't think I had any compulsions, but I'm realizing they can be a lot more subtle than the common examples, like locking doors over and over. I'm slowly discovering many small things I do that could be compulsions (excessively proofreading my posts, ruminating, seeking validation for my feelings in comments sections, etc), and I'd like to hear other people's examples too

Hello, bit of an odd one, but I got out of an abusive relationship about 18 months ago and I am really worried that I was the problem/ people think I’m the abuser. Im trying to separate my thoughts into ‘facts’ and ‘feelings/fiction’. I know that i was abused. For a long time i couldnt call it that, but then I went to therapy and sought help from external sources, including the university I was attending. It was emotional abuse, which makes it even harder to understand (even after therapy). I’ll spare the details. But … “what if youre the abuser?” “What if you were trying to manipulate them?” “What if when your career takes off, they say things about you and ruin it?” “What if that housemate backs them up because you never got along?” “What if you really were the abuser?” These thoughts plague me. I have friends who know everything, who saw the abuse and what it did to me, who could reassure me in an instant, but I am trying not to rely on reassurance. I am trying to find acceptance. Is is so hard. (I don’t even know what to tag this under.)

Sometimes it feels like I am not inside my body. Almost like I have no control. When I feel this way, it makes the thoughts/urges so much scarier. Any tips or advice? I feel very alone with this one.

After a rough couple of weeks I’ve been missing a lot of the stuff I used to do online before my ocd got really bad. Before my break down I loved roleplaying for fandoms, posting art and edits online, and interacting with people online that liked the stuff I liked. But ever since then I’ve stopped doing all those because my anxiety has been so bad and I hate being known by people, I hate that people might know me and I hate being apart of peoples lives some how. It scares me and I hate it. I miss posting fun stuff and roleplaying with randos but I’m too scared to do anything now. Especially when it comes to being online. Just wanted to talk about it and maybe someone else feels the same way? Anyone else really into fandoms? :,)