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Is pushing away intrusive thoughts a compulsion?

Hi everyone I honestly feel so defeated My anxiety and ocd has been so intense I have intrusive thoughts about everything for example I suffer w harm ocd I suffer w the thought that I feel like I’m not genuine I suffer with being terrified of mental illness such as schizophrenia I get scared I’ll snap n lose control I suffer with the fact that I’m scared my anxiety will never go away n I’ll never get better I suffer w being so irritable w the people I love Recently I’ve been terrified people r staring at me and can read through my body language of how I think Today my brain felt scrambled, I woke up for work when I didn’t have work - in my defense I didn’t check the schedule and took this day off a month ago I went to the wrong location for a workout class And I went to a friends house took off my shoes n can’t find them. So now I’m fearing that I’m losing my mind n becoming delusional. I want to try medication but I’ve heard so many bad things. I’m just so sad of feeling like this. This is my outlet bc some of you understand. But it’s really isolating idk how some people even work it’s hard sometimes I push myself every single day and it’s been 3 years and I feel like I’ve had no sense of peace. Any advice?

I really think I have social anxiety. Everytime I am in public I feel uncomfortable. I am scared to go to school.Also I am scared that I am weird. I am scared that I make people uncomfortable . I panic when I accidentally make eye contact with peolple .I don't want to make people uncomfortable but I feel like I do that.

Anyone else have overwhelming urges to eye roll, snort , contort body a specific way , clear throat, etc ? Psychiatrist says it’s a stress response but they are starting to feel like an “ overwhelming” need to do them almost in the same fashion I have the urge to repeat sounds and noises in my head.

First day of school after 2 month break, I feel both fine and stressed in same time. I wanna go back home, I don't wanna stay with normal people. They are all so normal while I'm so abnormal. I don't wanna stay with them. I don't like school. Everyone grew up, but I'm still the same.. No.. not the same.. I'm worse than previous semester. I can't touch anything that is dirty. I'm scared to touch my own bag. I'm scared to touch tables. I' scared to touch anything. Not even my own face or body. I can only touch my phone and my pocket and my hands. I wash hands 10 times at once or else I will feel like dying. Everything feels so dirty... I don't wanna do anything... No one understand me there... Not even my family... People will just say that I'm overdramatic if I explain... Hiding all these from people is better than explaining and got judged in the end. I hope I will survive.. I used to plan that I will die today...On the first day of the next semester. And today is that day... I don't wanna die yet... I hope I can surpass that plan... I don't wanna die before I could reach my goal... I hope I will be fine...

i feel like im being crushed by the weight of deadlines and my thoughts. i have so much to do in the next 3 weeks and i feel so distracted by my brain. i just got diagnosed with OCD and it feels good to put a name to all these endless thoughts i have. i think so much and never get a break and on top of it im so overwhelmed by assignments i feel paralyzed (i have adhd, too). even when i do things i enjoy my brain still somehow thinks of something to ruin the moment. 🫠

Does anyone else feel like they’ve really just convinced themselves they have OCD just to feel better about the thoughts and feelings they have? Sometimes I feel like a liar or a fraud. I’m undiagnosed and sometimes I feel like an imposter on this app. I worry that I’ve just convinced myself of having OCD as an excuse for my thoughts and feelings, so I can feel better.

When I say regular therapist I mean the ones that have you sit down and have you talk about stuff like how they show in the movies. There’s no erp therapist near me that take my insurance so I’m thinking about just going to a regular therapist but Ive heard that regular therapist can make ocd worse.

How do people handle confessional compulsions? I feel like I have to confess everything all the time or else I'm a liar and a bad person and not confessing makes me feel sick to my stomach. Any advice for overcoming this? Ive tried to not confess but I just get so ill

literally randomly through the day ill worry “are u a p?” Or my brain tells me I am one and it actually feels like I am one. I get these groinal responses immediately after and get the urge to self soothe. that is a bad compulsion of mine. I really hate this. my mind goes straight to p related things for EVERYTHING it doesn’t even have to be kid related but somehow my brain does and finds connections in anything about me being a “p” im really scared i am one. i have no “proof” besides these thoughts, urges, and sensations and compulsions, which i feel like is enough proof and i should search for help for being a p.

Cause I did find masc lesbians already attractive before. I didnt want to do anything sexually but I liked their appearance because they look like men...but then I read about a girl realizing She didn't want to date a masc lesbian cause She was used to the thought of liking guys and date them and maybe I have the same problem. Cause if I like the way they look and I find them attractive what's stopping me? Just the vagina? It has to be denial.

Can it make you believe you’re in love with someone else (who is not your partner), to the point of mad obsession? While I recognize what false attraction is and that OCD can cause you to fixate on people, this one case has me doubting everything and I’m terrified. I have to hold back my tears constantly especially when my partner shows up, because I love him SO MUCH, to the point I’d lose my mind without him, and I feel like God is torturing me by making me fixate on this other guy, who I barely know and whose face I barely remember. But why does it feel so intense and so real!? I feel like I will never be capable of true love because I have been “programmed” to be unfaithful. And I feel disgusted that I allow myself to be with my loving partner who I know is faithful and true, while I “betray” him in my mind. Someone please help me.

Does anyone else struggle to do ERP with some compulsions because you genuinely have a belief that what you are doing is protecting you? I want to be able to touch doorhandles and not avoid things when someone in the house is sick, but k can’t help but really believe it’s protecting me from getting sick. It’s just common sense isn’t it? I know I should handle the uncertainty but surely I’m protecting myself? How can I work on changing that so I can do ERP and conquer ocd?

It’s been almost 5 months since this has started. It’s been on and off. Ive come to realize it’s probably POCD to fitting into every symptoms. Ive never been diagnosed with OCD but I do have anxiety and am constantly worried about everything. I dont know if anyone here can help reassure me that this happens to people and i am not what i think i am because it is basically taking over my thoughts and life. Seeing that i have every symptom, am i sure that i do? ugh this is so stressful. Never in my life have i ever had this thought. Never ever thought of children in that way. Growing up I’ve always liked older people older. I never had crushes on any child. Or did I and it just didn’t stick out to me? It’s gotten to the point where I can’t take these instrusive thoughts anymore either.. and are they even intrusive because I feel like I’m forcing myself to think about them just to see if I give myself a response. I have kids and have friends with kids and I can’t stop have the thoughts of maybe hurting them even though I never have before!! Then it makes me fixate on them and why am I fixating on just them if I wasn’t someone with POCD??? just the terrible person I’m scared that I actually am. It’s no other kids just the ones I’m familiar with or have known forever. Can you just turn into a P and not realize it until wayyyy older? I’m so stuck im not sure what to do.

Has anyone tried N-Acetyl Cysteine for their OCD? I’m scared to try it. My brain keeps telling me if I take the medicine my throat will close up. So I’m looking for experience.

I’m not feeling good at all rn Grades with college have me thinking about everything and I feel like everything I’ve ever done makes me feel like I don’t deserve a good future I have an urge to pull my hair out and I don’t want to do that I don’t want to hurt myself. My past is just affecting me and my drive to work so much I’m so defeated I feel like I just need to lay I. A hole and never come out so I don’t hurt anyone ever again

This is going to be a longer post so hats off to the ones who take time to read it, luv you besties 🫶 So I’ve been struggling for the past 6 months or so with what I hope is ROCD, though I don’t know for sure because I’m not diagnosed. I really struggle sometimes because my bf is a little weird, I’m willing to fully admit that. He’s just a little hyper and goofy and different from other guys, which can be really great at times, because he doesn’t take himself so seriously that he isn’t willing to have fun, he’s willing to be open with his emotions, and he isn’t easily uncomfortable or embarrassed, and I’m not like that. I get nit-picky about those behaviours as times, but I just like to rationalize it by calling it his golden retriever energy, which I think is a cute way of looking at it. But he’s also awkward at times, there are times where he does something super weird or cringy or irritating and I can’t stop thinking about it, playing it over in my head, and it bugs me so much, and I try to rationalize it but I can’t. One thing I really struggle with, is his voice. For example, yesterday I hung out with him, and we were talking, and I was about to say something but stopped myself half way through the sentence because it was a secret I didn’t want to give away, and then he started sounding really whiny as he said “you can’t do that” “why won’t you tell me” or something like that. And it wasn’t like angry whiny, it was a little more lighthearted, but I don’t think he was being ironic or jokingly whiny, I think it was genuinely him just sounding whiny, and then all of a sudden mid sentence he cut back to a regular voice. It made the whole thing just sound really cringy and not very masculine, like he was poorly acting, but I know he wasn’t, it was all genuine, just really cringey. And I can’t stop playing it over and over in my head, trying to make sense of it, trying to make myself feel better about the whole situation rather than uncomfortable. I do that with a lot of things that he does tho, even normal things, but I especially have a hard time with his voice and his vocal inflections and idiosyncrasies and the way he sounds in certain situations, literally every little thing. I obsess over whether he sounds/acts masculine enough and normal enough, I keep picking apart every time he sounds whiny, whether he’s actually whining or not, sometimes his voice just sounds whiny because he has a higher pitched voice and he can’t really change it. I pick apart his voice when he laughs about something, or when he sounds excited or happy. I pick apart his voice when he tells stories. I can’t stop, and it makes it super difficult to be present in conversations. Idk if it’s ROCD, because he does genuinely do odd things that make me cringy and bug me from time to time, sometimes even things that are a bit of a turn off, but I think I get so carried away that it becomes way bigger than it needs to be. Is it ok, even if I didn’t have ROCD, to find things that he does weird, cringy, annoying, a turn off, etc? Sometimes it genuinely feels like the “ick” (I hate that term so much). Is it normal, even in regular relationships, to experience this “ick” feeling? Everyone seems to say that when you like someone, nothing they do is weird or cringy to you, you never get the ick, and if you do then it’s times to move on. But I’ve also heard others say that it’s not about them being perfect or not having any Icks at all, it’s about loving them enough to look past the Icks and not focus on the cringy things they do. Is this true? If so, then how can I do this? The other day he told me he loves being with me because he feels like he can genuinely be himself without judgement, but little does he know that all my brain is ever doing is picking him apart and judging everything he says or does, and that’s not fair to him. He is such an amazing person, and he deserves so much better than me.

Hey so I took 2 ocd test I know I probably shouldn't but I just couldn't take it anymore I've told my experience here to all of you twice and yall help seebthat yes it is ocd. The obsessive intrusive thoughts, images, urges. Not to mention my compulsions researching,ressurance,self reassurance, debating the thoughts, saying no out loud and rumination. And this takes up almost all day but my counselor says it's just severe anxiety but I think it's because I didn't answer correctly when he asked me a question about catastrophizing I barley do that anymore but these thoughts scare me not to mention when I took both ocd test online they both said I have ocd tendencies like high tendencies

Sorry i have to repost, i see alot of posts doesnt get the attention, i scrolled down to check my post but i saw that around my post there were alot of other people that doesnt get a comment or even a like or something. I know its not possible to react to everyone but now there like 1 in 10 posts get atleast a reaction. Im not blaming people, maybe the app is slowly dying which is sad... However here's what i posted.

I can't get out of bed. I can't eat. I'm already skinny. My thoughts and responses are so confusing now, they've all blended together and it feels so real now. All I'm thinking now is "I am." Even though I don't want to be, it's not me, but scenarios are playing in my head as if I like them and want them. I just don't want to be here anymore. I had other themes but they have been pushed out for this one.