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A lot of people say to delay the compulsion. How do I delay it?? I ruminate a lot and I have no clue how to delay it. It’s like I have no control over my own thoughts and it bothers me every single day.

I used to deal with soocd (specifically the thought of never knowing my sexuality) when I was single years ago, but I was able to handle it and move past it for a while and be content with the conclusion of just liking people, not specific genders. Now that pride month is rolling around (happy pride everyone!!), I have seen an influx of videos on tiktok talking about comp het, specifically found in bi/pan women who are in relationships with men. I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him. We are going through so much (betryal trauma, handling my OCD for other themes, and just regular relationship issues) but we always choose to stick it through and keep fighting for us. Lately though with these videos constantly showing up, it has triggered my SOOCD to come back and at full force like never before. I feel like it's more intense now because I fear losing my relationship so my ocd has really grasped onto that fear. I talked with him last night and about the thoughts that are running around in my head regarding this. How it is so hard to really know who/what I'm actually attracted to without fearing that I'm wrong. How I'm worried I've wasted our time in this relationship if it really is comp het, or how I know that this is my OCD but how can I ever truly know? And it's not that I don't love him or find him attractive, but I can't help but freak out about "what if because I find women attractive I don't actually find him attractive?" or because I have an on and off relationship with sex and feeling the need to or having a very low sex drive sometimes that it means something deeper about my attraction towards him. I know it's a long read, bit soke advice or tips on how to navigate this or someone telling me they have dealt with the same thing ir hearing about people's experiences would really help. thank you and I wish for easy and kind thoughts for everyone <3

Hi I am scared, that i want to hurt someone (my mother or boyfriend). My thoughts are horrible. My big fear is that i am going to be a bad person or murder:(( I do not know how to stop. My therapist (she is not ocd therapist) doesn’t help me :(

I don’t know what happened again. I feel so numb. I feel like I want to d!e. Not into doing something to myself and I’m making sure I’m not alone anyway, but I just can’t stand that feeling. Emotionally so exhausted and distressed. I just need someone to tell me it will eventually pass. Please. My life was so good before all of it. I can’t even be sad about it anymore. I don’t know if things can ever go back to normal. I feel like my brain changed. Idk how to explain it.

I’m constantly wondering if my boyfriend really likes me. Its taken a huge toll on my self esteem—both personality and appearance, and I feel horribly insecure and self conscious all the time. Anyone else gone through this or any tips?

I touched a random used towel by accident and I STILL don’t feel like my hand is clean after washing them with soap so many times. I used hot water and ran it under my hand till it burned HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- I hate this f*cking mental illness… I should never ask for reassurance but…I really need this. Do you all think it’s clean enough, genuinely?

Does arousal = sexual orientation? Sometimes I get turned on by the female body (in porn) but I have no intention to do anything with them nor am I attracted to women that way in real life. My brain keeps telling me otherwise and I'm so confused rn. I've been attracted to men all my life

I work with kids so as to be expected my contamination ocd (surrounding getting sick, especially throwing up) gets triggered a lot. Which is hard, but usually worth it for me as I’m really passionate about my work. But sometimes it feels like I don’t know how I will be able to manage my contamination ocd while working with kids the rest of my life (teaching). It makes me really sad when I think about how my other coworkers don’t have these same worries of getting sick and can then focus more on their meaning fully work. Like today, a kid told me she threw up last night after her water bottle had previously sprayed water on my face and I couldn’t focus fully on the class for the rest of my shift 😭 which isn’t fair to the kids either but I did my best, considering I’m still reeling from that and struggling to refrain from rumination and other compulsions. Just trying to tell myself that I’ll survive regardless of if I get sick or not, even though my ocd brain equates throwing up to death haha. Anyways I’m not looking for reassurance, but more so just wanted to vent and see if anyone can relate at all.

Has anyone been on this medication before? My doctor wants to put me on this but I’ve never heard of it

My OCD is what it is. But I am curious! Did anyone have kids after they were diagnosed with OCD? I’m not concerned about passing it down as much as handling the stress of childbirth and child rearing. Any tips would be helpful!

i’m sorry i’m posting so much but i’m really struggling tonight. i have to do the hardest compulsion which just doesn’t seem to be working. every time i finish it there’s doubts, anxiety, etc. it’s horrendously hard to get perfect. everytime i finish theres always something which was wrong which i need to fix. i’m really really upset and i could easily spend the whole night doing this. pls advise.

Hi. I'm new here. Never been diagnosed but identify with symptoms. I want to seek a diagnosis but I'm terrified of seeking help and having the doctors think I'm just faking it or being a hypochondriac (I have a laundry list of thing I want to look into as far as diagnosis go). I just need answers and help because it's hard and after having a kid it's even harder. How did you get diagnosed? Was there medical gaslighting for you?

I feel like OCD is ruining all of my relationships and I hate it. My symptoms have been significantly better since I started on medication but recently I’ve been struggling with just constant thoughts that my friends don’t actually like me. I also reassurance seek a lot and so much so that I had a friend say we needed to take a break from being friends because she couldn’t deal with my excessive reassurance seeking. I just have this anxiety surrounding every single one of my friendships and this fear that they don’t care about me and I hate it. I’m scared of loosing more people because of OCD. I’m still young and I’m worried that I won’t ever be in a meaningful relationship because everyone I try to get close to will push me away because of my anxiety. I just hate OCD and I wish it wasn’t affecting my relationships to the point where I don’t feel like I can even reach out and talk to them.

Hey there! My name is Jazmin, and my first remembrance of OCD symptoms was at the age of 6. For many years I didn't know what was going on. It wasn't until 2 years ago, when I was doing some googling (which I now know is a cumpulsion) about anxiety that I came across OCD. I had never really heard of it before, but I felt as though I was reading about my whole life in that article. My subtypes have shifted throughout my life, everything from harm OCD to religious OCD that made my life an anxiety filled nightmare at times. From here I started to look into options for therapy, etc. I ended up, unfortunately, having a horrible experience. I was "diagnosed" with OCD and generalized anxiety by a mental health NP last year, but she wasn't very nice (very demeaning, pretty much treated me like a freak, told me that I had issues, called me a germaphobe, and acted like I was doing everything wrong) and didn't listen to me in regards to what I was actually going through (none of which has anything to do with a contamination subtype), so I didn't go back after that. It's taken me a whole year to recover from that encounter. It's been a struggle and the idea of trying to talk to someone about this again scared me half to death. But now I'm finally trying to get to a good place again. I went to my GP a week ago, explained to her what I was going through, and she was so amazing, understanding, and supportive. She prescribed prozac. So far things have been pretty good but not perfect, and I'm okay with that. I'm just making the next steps forward. I'm hoping that by joining the NOCD community and seeking therapy here that I can start to improve and continue to live my best life.

Four months ago, I began taking 25mg of Zoloft, and my dosage has since been increased to 100mg. This increase has significantly alleviated the anxiety and heart palpitations caused by my OCD. However, it hasn't been as effective in treating my depression. Alongside medication, I'm currently undergoing ERP therapy. Given the mixed results, I'm considering either switching medications or augmenting my current regimen. I have a consultation with my doctor tomorrow to explore my options. I've heard from others that finding the right combination of medications can make a huge difference. Does anyone have experience with a multi-medication approach that has been beneficial for them?

I do know that if i want to be healthy, i need to move from home cause my father isnt not able to change, i mean he will never realize he is the problem, so yeah its better for me to move, but im afraid of that. I dont understand how other people think about it so easily, there are many consequences, like you will be alone and the things you have at home, you have to leave it there. A year ago I got dog for my loneliness, and he helped me alot, i didnt felt lonely since, and it makes me sad cause if i have to move, i cant take him with me. Here at our house theres always someone at home, or if its not than he is alone for like an hour or maybe two, but if i take him with me he will be alone alot of times, and the move will affect him too. Im also afraid of being lonely again, this dog made me feel good, now im leaving it and i will be alone again. I know i can live with people, but its hard to find people who you want to live with and i will still miss my dog. Its like a child for me, its like when a father or mother has to leave their children. Its really hard and it makes me sad. It really scares me. When you move with your wife to make a new family thats different cause your not alone, but now for me its like i have good things at home and i have to leave them for one stupid person... it makes me angry. I thought i can stay and learn to not care but now i hear alot that i have to move and its a sign, but im afraid to leave the things i have.

For those with SO OCD, is it possible for OCD to manifest a crush on someone of the opposite sex? I feel like I have a crush on this girl when I’ve always identified as straight. Weirdly the crush intrusive thoughts happened after I started questioning my sexuality. I just looked at her one day and thought she was cute and then suddenly I felt like my mind took over like a domino effect. Like, I had all these thoughts about her that I aligned to having a crush. Every time I’m around her or think of her I get extreme anxiety. Also, I feel like when I’m around her I have these feelings of romance/attraction for her? I’ll have intrusive thoughts about anything romantic and sometimes sexual. Mostly, what gets me is feeling like I’d want to kiss her and I get these feelings of attraction which really throws me off. I know I’d never do that or really would see myself doing that, but I hate that the “romantic” feeling is there. I never get any groinal feelings though. I don’t want to have these feelings. I’ve never seen myself as being Bi. I’m Demisexual mainly, but have always identified as straight. It’s only until I started having all these SO OCD thoughts that I’ve started to question me sexuality. I’ve always been romantically and sexually attracted to men. I’m even dating a guy now who I really love. Can anyone relate to this? How do you get through your days? I feel so weird and confused. Mostly, guilty though because I love my BF and now I feel like I’m being unfaithful or I’m not being myself in some way. I really don’t know who I am anymore.

Does anyone else have the compulsion of needing to document everything? I feel this ties in with my false memory OCD. I can not go anywhere by myself let alone be by myself in any work or social setting unless I have family or close trusted friend with me to be able to let me know and “witness” any events that happen. As I feel, I won’t remember them correctly if at all. I always feel something bad will happen to me or I will personally act out bad actions and not remember or recall. I document heavily on my phone (recording, pictures) as well as have a home camera and car dash camera. I fear this is my most triggering and most difficult obsession to try and conquer.

Something is always bugging me about my bf, it’s getting so annoying. I just want to be happy, but something always starts to bug me, and it makes me worry that I should leave or that I should try to change how I feel about the things that bug me. For example, right now it’s the fact that my bf is crazy hyper sometimes when he’s with our friends, and it comes out in the way he acts and the way he talks, and I could be over analyzing it which makes it feel worse than it is, but it can be cringy and even annoying sometimes. Part of these feelings could be coming from the fact that I was probably that way when I was younger, and it probably got bullied out of me, and now I’m always worried of being judged or disliked. But in general I would say that my bf acts “differently” than most sometimes, especially when he’s hyper. I want this relationship to work so so so badly, I want to have a future with him, I’m just trying desperately to work through all the little things that bug me, because I know they mean so little in the grand scheme of things, and yet I can’t stop being bugged by them. I feel a sense of urgency to do something, to change the way I feel and think about it. It’s so frustrating. I just want to live him. He is so amazing, I just want to plan a future with him. But I worry because in those moments when he’s being crazy and hyper and cringy, I start to feel like maybe I don’t actually like him enough, because if I did I feel like I shouldn’t be put off by his weirdness.

How can I respond to some of these intrusive thoughts without feeling like I need to fight, resist, and etc?? They’re extremely distressing and make me question myself, my reality and my health/brain. I’ve tried just distracting myself, ignoring it, and letting it scream at me. But then it comes back with scarier ones and I’m just struggling . I’d been doing good with them lately but suddenly they’re awfully intense and hard to ignore Help😞