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the NOCD Community

I have trouble leaving my home because of panic disorder and my OCD. I’ve not gone out longer than an hour and a half in 4 months. Today I went to a convention for 7 HOURS. There were times it was extremely difficult, and I wanted to leave, or I’d have an intrusive thought that something bad would happen to me, but I was able to squash it . However, now I’m home and I’m panicky 😫I can’t stop overthinking . But I can’t believe I did that today!

Can ocd put a thought in your head that feels like you are actually the one thinking it? Not like a normal intrusive thought where it is more like someone else saying untrue things to you?

how do you stop ruminating on a thought? it keeps intruding back into my head. and I can’t feel relaxed

I’m ruminating a lot today as usual but not following through with the compulsions so far. It’s extremely uncomfortable, but after being here even for a little bit, I’m starting to internalize that the compulsions make it worse. Still, I wish my head was a more peaceful place and it’s hard that I feel like I can’t do anything about it. Who relates?

How do you handle thoughts that just keep popping up random ill be petting my dog and hear kill your dog looking at my son and hear the same horrble stuff. My heart races . I keep saying sure thanks brain .maybe tomorrow . But they are like every 5 minutes . I'm avoiding taking more medication that is how I got here in the first place . Please help I just keep distracting myself.

okay this is my third and hopefully final post of the night, but i think i’m having an ocd attack. it was so weird because i was just scrolling through tiktok when it came up on me all of a sudden. at first i just felt like there was a threat, mentally. i can’t describe what it felt like but it didn’t feel good. i almost felt like i was out of my body. it kept going and typically i talk to my mom when this stuff happens but she’s asleep so i had to manage. i tried getting my mind off of it by listening to music and playing a game but it wasn’t working well. so then i did some deep breathing and then the harm thoughts and urges started rolling in. i obviously have them everyday but it’s been background noise for a while now, so it hit me like a thousand bricks tonight. it felt so real and terrifying. then i got nauseous which was bringing in my emetaphobia. now i have an ice pack on my neck (i think the cold can help) and am listening to meditation music while telling myself this will pass. however, i wasn’t before, but now i’m terrified this summer will be like the last.

Hi everyone. I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years and love him so much. I have had ocd since I was 13 where i did therapy to learnt to manage the intrusive thoughts and was good for about 7 years up until about a month ago. My boyfriend hasn’t experienced me in this state of distress because my ocd was so under control and now im in a spiral. It’s causing me to think that my boyfriend won’t want to be with me or doesn’t want to have to deal with this until I get better. This spiked today because I was invited to go out with him and his family to meet one of his aunts for the first time and really wanted to but my thoughts stopped me from doing so. He then was sending me pictures of him having a good time which i am so happy that he is, but i want to be there too and he wants me to be there as well. I’m just really scared that this is disorder is what’s going to cause my relationship to end when it was going so well. We have so many events to look forward to in the future and I feel like I can’t even enjoy thinking about them.

Constantly struggling with the thought of "Am I a pedophile?" I have never harmed a child but have had horrible thoughts. Where's the line? If I have to ask does that mean I am one? Feeling suicidal and in need of support.

I’ve been struggling a bit after being in the hospital for two weeks and this my first day out. Any words of encouragement would be great❤️

Hi guys! I've turned to you before but a new situation occured today and I want to understand my response. Like I said I have OCD harm and it is surrounded about my children and my residents I take care of, whom I love with my whole heart. My youngest son is very physical and always on top of me. Because of my disease it drives me up the wall! I feel so bad but it really freaks me out. Long story short he was on me today. Hand wrapped around him. I had an intrusive thought " what if I did something no one would know" it scared me and I pushed through but my nerves were so bad I ended up pushing some part of my hand on his arm. I was rushed with guilt. I'm also fighting strep and just feel so guilty.

I just want to feel normal again. My new theme is destroying me. I feel so lost and I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm glad this group exists. One of my few comforts has been knowing I'm not completely alone.

unfortunately I'm having a rough few days with OCD this week, even though I'm super excited to be finishing college and making progress in my treatment and therapy, last night I had a dream about an intrusive thought and it made me worry and it's on my mind throughout the day, I couldn't even sleep very well because I kept waking up and ruminating about what that dream could or couldn't mean. I hope tonight is calmer and that it doesn't affect my sleep so much, I really wish I could get rid of OCD for good, it's just too tiring and confusing some days.

Hiii, I have feeling i found comfort in my OCD and sitting home because of that, i am also so depressed but I can’t change it, i am also doing exposures and going out with my friends, but it gives me anxiety and next day I don’t have energy to do same. What do u think take it slow and do it step by step, or doing as much exposures as I can and try to resist anxiety. Btw I have harm OCD and my biggest fear is to hurt someone, so that is why I prefer to stay at home

I was basically having a breakdown arguing with my family, I was in the phone and my cat kept coming towards my feet meowing and I got mad and used my foot to push her out the door but she kinda went far and she went meow:( I slammed the door and I feel so f-ing bad I feel like I hurt her and im an abuser :( ive never done anything like this. I pushed her really hard with my foot. I know I didn’t kick her but what if the push really did hurt her:( im crying so bad im supposed to go on vacation today I don’t want to leave her

So I have been 5 days without intrusive thoughts which is a big accomplishment for me. Yesterday broke the streak. I was job shadowing and this girl i thought was so skinny and pretty how does she not have a boyfriend and i thought I was a dude i wouldn't turn my head away and now I'm thinking no one has said this before and that this means something. I know it's my ocd acting up but it's annoying. Plus it also tried to say in a narrative that sounded like me that I would date her and i immediately felt disturbed which just again told me everything about who I am sexually as a confident and comfortable straight woman

Frist off, I am not asking for reassurance nor do I have concrete plans of suicide, so please don't flag. I am just asking because my therapist was asking if I had Suicidal OCD or actual suicidal ideation, but I am unsure how to exactly tell them apart. I mostly get thoughts of "I am worthless and don't deserve to live" and intrusive images of seeing myself commiting suicide, but they theme ego-dystonic. On the other hand sometimes there are feeling of actual worthlessness and being overwhelmed with life.

How do you deal with the feelings of numbness?

I cannot picture myself in a relationship with a woman, never have. Any daydreams/fantasies I have are men. I've always had a new male crush. But because I enjoy GOG pxrn I worry it means I'm into girls in that way. Even chatting to men my ocd is telling me I'm only doing it because I want to prove I'm not into girls. I don't think of women in a sexual way and don't think I'd ever want to. I just enjoy GOG corn but not because of the act because they seem to enjoy it more than straight where its just 10 min BJs lol. Help me out.

does anyone ever feel weird about explaining their compulsions to people? my mom doesn’t believe i have ocd (haven’t been diagnosed) because she hasn’t “seen” me do compulsions and when i try to explain it to her, i just feel so awkward. another thing is most of my compulsions are more of an in the moment thing than me doing the same thing everyday. while i do have ones that are typically a daily occurrence, mine are reliant on being in the moment and when i need do something a number of times to feel “just right” if that makes sense. anyways, it’s just hard to explain that to people and i almost feel embarrassed to. i know i shouldn’t, but i just feel abnormal in a sense.

Today i feel like crying. I am so upset today. All my thoughts are negative and they just make me upset. I feel like i need a break from life. Everything is so hard. I just can't do it anymore. I was strong for so long but today i feel like giving up. I want to feel free atleast for a day. Everything seems so tough. I am not that strong enough. 😭😭😭