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Why is the volume of rumination so loud some days while others not so much?

What do I do, I love my partner, but I can’t stop obsessing over their voice. I feel that their voice has become really bothersome to me, I don’t know if it’s always been, or if it’s happening now, but I’m struggling to accept it. I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to try and change him, but what can I do to not feel so bothered and turned off by his voice, or uncomfortable and anxious in social situations. This is stressing me out a lot. I feel so lost and confused. I’m not diagnosed right now, and I feel like the flaws themselves aren’t a product of my ocd, because they are real and bothersome and I know it’s a natural part of relationship evolution to find flaws and annoyances. Maybe it’s the amount of attention and thought that I give the flaws that make it a product of my ocd. I just don’t know what to do right now. His voice is really bothersome at times and I don’t want to feel this way about his voice. I want to learn acceptance and unconditional love. I want these bothersome feelings to go away. I want to feel comfortable again. I want to feel happy and at easy when I’m around him. But I’m struggling because of this flaw. What can I do? I don’t want to give up, I want to learn to love him in the high and the lows, in the moments when it becomes difficult to love. How can I do this.

I'm so scared because I gave my dog a plum but the pit was still in it whole. He normally doesn't chew stuff and just swallows it. He's swallowed pits before and nothing ever happens. He's a big dog too. Yet I had an intrusive thought telling me my dogs gonna die. So I looked it up out of a compulsion. It said it's toxic and I'm freaking out. Nothing seems to be the matter and he's comforting me because he can tell I'm scared. I can't stop thinking I'm a murder and did that on purpose and that I don't love my dog.

Hi everyone ! I have been diagnosed with pure, somatic and harm OCD since last year as well as dermatillomania. Oh ! And to top it off I have diagnosed ADHD as well. I wanted to just come on here and share some experience that I’ve had. I’m 23 years old and ever since I was a child I have memories of my dermatillomania as a way to cope with my anxiety. I have struggled with my mental health since being a child, my undiagnosed ADHD made me very self aware that I wasn’t “fast enough”, “smart enough”, or “cool enough”. My psychiatrist even says that this undiagnosed ADHD until my 20s probably exacerbated my ocd as a way to compensate. Now I still rely on my parents as they help me out while I finish my studies. One parent is very religious and believes that “disease does not exist” (only a projection in peoples minds), and is very against meds and my other parent seems to always want to change the subject and has refused to come into therapy with me to meet my doctors and understand what I live through. My religious parent, I refuse to tell them I am on medication and I know that they will disapprove and try to gaslight me into believing something that will “make it all go away”. So I’ve given up. My other parent although they appear to pay attention always changes the subject and makes me feel invalid, and no matter how many times I try to explain I feel like I am talking to a wall. I just feel sad because.. well you would want your parents to want to understand and help you. In my case I am fortunate that financially they back me but I feel like I need to be a different person around them, and when it comes to my mental health I have no support. I look at mostly white families (not all) online and they seem to want to understand and be a part of a healing process, or at least believe that OCD is a valid diagnosis. I just want to ask if any of you have had unsupportive family members, have felt alone on your journey, and if it’s okay to never really let go of that hope that one day they may understand you. And honestly advice is great but just knowing I’m not alone in this will already comfort me, knowing that we are all in this together.

I’ve struggled with OCD my whole life. Though now that I’m older, it has attached itself to my romantic relationships. I’m currently with my bf of almost a year who I love so much. I truly think he’s the one. It really really sucks though because my ROCD is obsessed with the possibility of me meeting and starting to have feelings for someone else (I experienced this fear in my last relationship too). It’s constantly in my mind. I can’t even walk past a man (attractive or not) without thinking “what if you start to like him”. I get other thoughts, like if I meet a new girlfriend, “what if she has a guy she’s friends with that you’ll meet and like”, or if I see someone random “what if they have a family member that you’re going to meet and like”. It’s exhausting. In addition to that even talking to someone of the opposite sex other than my boyfriend causes thoughts in my head like “oh you think he’s funny do you like him”, or “you may not like him now but once you get to know him you will.” I’ve done therapy on this app and I’m constantly doing my exposures but nothing is working and I can’t afford to go to therapy right now because they don’t take my new insurance. Idk if I should switch to a different type of exposure? I’m just so tired of these thoughts and I want to be happy and at peace in my relationship without fear of someone else coming in a messing things up but I can’t seem to get over it. :(

I have a sinus infection. I’m scared to take the meds because I have read that the meds can increase anxiety. I also read that a sinus infection can turn into meningitis. So now I’m terrified about that. I’ve convinced myself that I’m terribly ill and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m so tired but can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just can’t stop thinking that something horrible is going to happen but won’t take the meds because I’m scared they will make something horrible happen. This thought process is long and very repetitive. How do I break the cycle and start to feeling better? Being sick wreaks havoc in my nervous system. But so does taking the meds . I don’t know why to do anymore.

So one of my themes is the fear of going crazy. When it was so bad I was having thoughts all day that everyone knew that I was going crazy and they were talking about it and just not being honest with me. Has anyone experienced this? Is it just ocd?

When struggling with ocd I've noticed myself disconnecting from the truth of who i am. When your mind is constantly doubting everything you do it can make you feel like you don't really know who you are and that is very scary. I keep thinking back to my past self before all of this got really bad and I can't help but mourn the loss of the freedom I had :/ Despite the fear and depression this has caused me, I'm trying to take small steps to reconnect with that version of myself in the past that felt more free. I don't know if this might help anyone else but don't get stuck in the cloudiness of intrusive thoughts and ocd, do those things you used to love despite the nagging thoughts. Don't let yourself be lost in the haze of your thoughts to the point where you forget who you are. Do those things that remind you that you are still human. Dance, Paint, Write, anything really. Its not that easy but just remember that despite any horrific distressing thoughts you might have, you are still human.

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

so i am currently in a new and much better relationship than my last toxic relationship. anyways i was just thinking and having thoughts about how i planned a future with my ex and it didn’t work out and got a little sad and i think a little scared of things not working out with my current bf. i also think part of my thought process was feeling like i don’t deserve my current bf but im not fully sure. after having these thoughts of oh it didnt work out with your ex and you planned all this and had a thought of well anything can happen but i seriously see a future with my current bf. i have a fear the reason i thought “well anything can happen” was because i am holding onto hope my ex is coming back. which isn’t even the case im much happier now and just beating myself up for this thought i had. it wasn’t intrusive and i know that that’s what i meant when i had that thought. it just makes me think i think i want him back or something idek im scared bc my current bf is amazing and i feel terrible.

I’m having a false memory (at least I think it is) of something that happened 12 years ago. It all of a sudden popped in my head this morning out of nowhere. I’ve never thought of this before so I’m not sure what even caused this to pop in my head! Since it was so long ago I literally cannot prove what actually happened to stop asking myself “did I do that?”. How do you get through these thoughts? I’ve had extreme anxiety about it all morning. I feel like my life will never be the same and I will have to live like this forever! I feel guilt and shame over something I most likely didn’t even do!

My treatments have failed erp and acceptance therapy have both failed in their own ways erp at first And then acceptance therapy next

I feel like my OCD triggers have been kind of random or weird lately. It happens when I’m doing something that makes me feel calm or that is keeping me preoccupied. It’s like lately my OCD hates it when I feel some type of peaceful or calm. I’ll be chilling playing video games while calling with my boyfriend and then suddenly my OCD jumps in and I get super on edge and distracted. I get thoughts like “how can you relax when you are uncertain about _____?” or “what if you told [boyfriend] about the intrusive thoughts you have? would he break up with you?” and then I get shaky and panicky. It’s like I can barely slip into a moment of peace without my OCD making me worried because I’m *not* worried. Does this make sense? It also happens when I’m relaxed in bed and falling asleep. I’ll just be holding a stuffed animal my boyfriend got me and dozing off and then suddenly I’m hit with “you don’t deserve [boyfriend]” “you’re a terrible person” “what if you hurt him? you need to make sure you didn’t”. Then suddenly I’m wide awake even though physically I’ll just feel so exhausted. ALSO, when I’m making food/about to eat, my OCD tells me I don’t deserve to eat, or starts acting up making me feel nauseous to the point where I can’t eat. I think I’m doing okay right now, I just think it helps a bit to talk about this and maybe see if anyone else relates.

Me and my girlfriend had a conversation last night about how bad my OCD has got and how I'm over analysing her texts/movements etc for signs of the relationship going south. I plucked up the courage to talk to her about trauma and other stresses in my life which has triggered my OCD to spiral. We have agreed to keep all OCD talk out of the relationship and if I feel like analysing or asking for reassurance to get a notebook and write it down instead. I am now thinking constantly about how she asked me to talk but has kind of left me on my own and it doesn't make me want to talk to her about stuff now in the future. I get it's hard, but has my OCD taken a hold of this or is it valid to feel this way?

what are some things that help when you have unwanted thoughts and urges? For me i notice whenever I am upset I have a strong urge to want to hurt myself. I have too much anger built up inside of me and I need help. The gym helps calm me a little bit and i used to crotchet but i have been busy lately. Please any advice. I don't want to sit with these feelings or thoughts because i am scared of what will happen if I let go and hurt myself. I am scared of myself because i know i can be very violent because of all of my traumas.

I know what you resist persists, but something I've struggled with for years now is infatuation and falling in "love" with people. I fear my own feelings when I'm with women. I'm afraid of falling really hard for every second person but also avoiding is making it worse. I might get strong feelings towards them but avoid them because I know it's just infatuation, I fear falling for someone without knowing them then hurting myself and them along the way. Im also worried of falling really hard for someone and then getting rejected. My mind throws many arguments to mind about this such as : I'm not ready yet, it's a bad fit, someone else is better, you will destroy her life, I will get rejected, she's too good for me. Any advice. I was reading through the book Relationship OCD and it says infatuation isn't a good thing to base a relationship off and this actually triggered me more. Any ideas of how to allow this OCD pattern?

OCD definitely makes me feel like my future is nothing but bad. A bunch of what ifs and it feels super anxiety inducing. I remind myself that no matter how bad my life gets, I never want to harm myself or end my life. I want to get through each struggle in a healthy manner. I just have a fear of bad things happening in my life and Im scared how I would react to it. My OCD is definitely super anxiety inducing and I would love for anyone to share their thoughts.

My placement is started I have many fears related to ocd, patients, me and Nursing. Example contamination then reassurance that I will not get infected. Then health related ocd. Other thing is which is not ocd is I hate getting up early in cold weather and go for job. Maybe I have trauma to start a day and managing time for patients which now creep me out that how will i manage just a placement and how will I do job. Also always thinking in advance how will I enter in hospital, whom I will ask where I'm working, am I in right hospital because it's first day if not iam already late. Any suggestions to motivate myself for doing placement I actually kind of gave up and it's the last placement of nursing

My bf and I are gonna have to be long distance for 2 months and tonights the first night. I’m so anxious and I’m scared he’s going to leave me or cheat on me. What if he realizes he could be happier without me? What if he realizes there’s really nothing special about me? What if I don’t bring value to his life? What if somebody at his new job starts being sexual towards him? I cant do anything from 4 hours away I have no control and no certainty

Is it possible for your ancestors to curse you??? I keep getting intrusive thoughts about my relative that passed away and my thoughts are saying that they’re gonna curse me with one of my biggest fears. I’m so terrified right now. What if these thoughts were to actually come true..??!!!