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I feel really bad right now.And really scared.I am scared I am a horrible person.Like I wnjoy horrible things.I am scared is getting really bad again

Does anyone take sleeping aids to help with sleep? Does it affect your OCD?

(I’m not sure if this has anything triggering but just in case—know that I bring up my OCD but not what it is specifically so I think it’s fine? ) Just really struggling right now and was wondering if anyone had any words of advice or encouragement? I’ve had OCD my entire life but it didn’t start becoming severe until I was around 14/15. It reached the point of extreme where going anywhere or socializing at all caused embarrassment because I had NO idea how to control compulsions and had no idea that’s what they were in the first place. I would also get lost in intrusive thoughts and physically couldn’t communicate. Fast forward and I was isolated throughout the years important to my development. Didn’t go to school, didn’t go to any social events, didn’t get a job (and then 2020 came along and I literally couldn’t.) and just stayed in my room letting my OCD consume me. It was really bad in 2022 and destroyed a very important relationship I had and set me back once again, it hit me extremely strong and a few months later I was once again just -stuck- these were years I was supposed to get ready for college but I couldn’t, and now this year I’m turning 20 and I have nothing to show for it. I’m still stuck and at this point I just feel like there’s no hope for me. The only job I can muster up anything for is creative writing but I feel like such a failure. I’m in such a dark place and I just can’t convince myself it’ll get better. Any words of encouragement would be nice because I just don’t know what to do.

I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?

Hi, I’m 16, and in a relationship with a girl, who I love so much and wanted to be with her for several months. But as of recently, I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts about being gay.I know that I’m not, I’ve always been attracted to girls and never have I even thought about being gay. But these intrusive thoughts are telling me I’m lying to myself and that I am denial and are actually gay. I’m at the point now where I don’t even know if this is HOCD. I’ve always seemed OCD since I was young as I would be fixated on certain things like how clothes looked, I also used to wash my hands until they cracked. In recent months I was fixated on moles and the fear of skin cancer due to my mum having stage 4 cancer herself. But as this has gone, these intrusive thoughts about sexuality have came about. Can someone please help me

Guys, anyone just let me know how to get rid of any unwanted sexual thoughts about other men . Im in a healthy and loving relationship. It makes me very uncomfortable when i get intrusive thoughts about anyone and any men . I love my boyfriend. I dont want to feel like this because it makes me feel so guilty. And like a bad person in general. Intrusive thoughts make me feel like i want to do it when i dont . I dont want to look at anyone else that way or find them attractive. It makes me feel like im not loving my boyfriend and also makes me feel like i will cheat on him

I wanted to actually take the time to post this. I promised myself that if my meds started working I would write on here to encourage others to take their meds and do therapy. I spent so many days crying over thoughts that I can see now are not true. I still have moments of overthinking and worrying but that’s normal for people like us and people in general. It’s almost like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now instead of seeing only darkness. I have come so far from a few months ago even a year ago or when I first developed these ocd symptoms. I took a dna gene test which was like $200 but well worth it to determine what meds work best for my build up, the one I had been on and off taking from fears around meds was one of two that are meant to “work”. So I started up again on 10mg of Lexapro, slowly going up to 20mg, now at 30mg since the last few days. It’s been well over a month probably atleast 6 weeks. I definately noticed when I first took it on and off that I felt a slight difference but thought it was placebo. So I gave it a shot and have been so good with taking them at the right times too mostly. GIVE IT TIME!!! If a med is right for you it will work. You have to believe that though, even if it’s only a tiny part of yourself that can believe it may work… be realistic, it’s not going to just remove the thoughts entirely because we have a very complex disorder, but I do believe I will fully recover. I’ve also been seeing an ocd therapist, who helps me but I also judge for myself what exposures I feel ready for and also still can give into compulsions at times, and I also won’t do things that therapists say that I feel aren’t right for me, find what works for you! They’re just meant to guide you, but recovery is DIFFERENT for everyone. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you. I honestly find the thoughts less “sticky” and I can easily get out of them sometimes, or think more logically, trying to not reassure myself or asking for reassurance as much but also allowing myself dto deal with it in my own way and yeah sometimes I do still reassure myself like people without ocd would too, but I have cut back so much and I don’t even remember the last time I confessed properly to my partner. He understands me and has been so supportive and given me any type of reassurance in the past, so basically I’ve got all the answers already, but I don’t have to constantly remind myself of those things or prove every thought wrong. I can let things go more easily. I can think more logically. I can see more when ocd is trying to trick me. I know I’m not aroused sexually by the intrusive thoughts even if they’re images ocd creates and not real I know that if a thought feels intrusive it isn’t arousing me even if it comes at the worst times and makes me confused in the moment, I can bring myself back to reality and put my focus on me and my partner, I can enjoy sex again! Im still struggling at times but I never thought I’d get to this point even, it’s only up from here… I want to attach this image because I prayed and begged for God to send me a sign that only I would know which was a love heart but not in a text message, I wanted to SEE THE SIGN CLEARLY, I asked him if I would ever recover fully or always suffer like this and if I will recover and one day not even have thoughts like this or notice them if I did almost like background noise of stupid people with stupid opinions, then show me a heart. And he delivered this to me. You will be okay even when you feel like you won’t. You matter. Don’t let ocd define you, we’ve got ocd but ocd doesn’t have us… I’m working now, happy mostly with my life, have a loving partner and daughter I’m able to focus on properly now that I’m getting better, I have quit pot and been clean for about 3 weeks after being a stoner since 16 every day basically, which will only make me feel more clear over time, next step is ciggies to quit at the end of the month, I don’t even drink alcohol unless occasionally so that’s not an issue, I’m going to start working out and become my goal weight, going to find things I love to do and DO THEM, LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. you can get here too. This is coming from someone who contemplated suicide time and time again but knew God had a purpose for letting me suffer this way , so I’m able to HELP PEOPLE LIKE ME. God bless you all and Jesus right now I pray for everyone struggling with mental health problems and I pray you can guide them to the right direction, the light and the truth that is YOU. That’s why I can finally see the light at the tunnel, it’s Jesus calling me home. God bless you all, amen. 🙏🏼🩷🩵💜

I wanted to actually take the time to post this. I promised myself that if my meds started working I would write on here to encourage others to take their meds and do therapy. I spent so many days crying over thoughts that I can see now are not true. I still have moments of overthinking and worrying but that’s normal for people like us and people in general. It’s almost like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now instead of seeing only darkness. I have come so far from a few months ago even a year ago or when I first developed these ocd symptoms. I took a dna gene test which was like $200 but well worth it to determine what meds work best for my build up, the one I had been on and off taking from fears around meds was one of two that are meant to “work”. So I started up again on 10mg of Lexapro, slowly going up to 20mg, now at 30mg since the last few days. It’s been well over a month probably atleast 6 weeks. I definately noticed when I first took it on and off that I felt a slight difference but thought it was placebo. So I gave it a shot and have been so good with taking them at the right times too mostly. GIVE IT TIME!!! If a med is right for you it will work. You have to believe that though, even if it’s only a tiny part of yourself that can believe it may work… be realistic, it’s not going to just remove the thoughts entirely because we have a very complex disorder, but I do believe I will fully recover. I’ve also been seeing an ocd therapist, who helps me but I also judge for myself what exposures I feel ready for and also still can give into compulsions at times, and I also won’t do things that therapists say that I feel aren’t right for me, find what works for you! They’re just meant to guide you, but recovery is DIFFERENT for everyone. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you. I honestly find the thoughts less “sticky” and I can easily get out of them sometimes, or think more logically, trying to not reassure myself or asking for reassurance as much but also allowing myself dto deal with it in my own way and yeah sometimes I do still reassure myself like people without ocd would too, but I have cut back so much and I don’t even remember the last time I confessed properly to my partner. He understands me and has been so supportive and given me any type of reassurance in the past, so basically I’ve got all the answers already, but I don’t have to constantly remind myself of those things or prove every thought wrong. I can let things go more easily. I can think more logically. I can see more when ocd is trying to trick me. I know I’m not aroused sexually by the intrusive thoughts even if they’re images ocd creates and not real I know that if a thought feels intrusive it isn’t arousing me even if it comes at the worst times and makes me confused in the moment, I can bring myself back to reality and put my focus on me and my partner, I can enjoy sex again! Im still struggling at times but I never thought I’d get to this point even, it’s only up from here… I want to attach this image because I prayed and begged for God to send me a sign that only I would know which was a love heart but not in a text message, I wanted to SEE THE SIGN CLEARLY, I asked him if I would ever recover fully or always suffer like this and if I will recover and one day not even have thoughts like this or notice them if I did almost like background noise of stupid people with stupid opinions, then show me a heart. And he delivered this to me. You will be okay even when you feel like you won’t. You matter. Don’t let ocd define you, we’ve got ocd but ocd doesn’t have us… I’m working now, happy mostly with my life, have a loving partner and daughter I’m able to focus on properly now that I’m getting better, I have quit pot and been clean for about 3 weeks after being a stoner since 16 every day basically, which will only make me feel more clear over time, next step is ciggies to quit at the end of the month, I don’t even drink alcohol unless occasionally so that’s not an issue, I’m going to start working out and become my goal weight, going to find things I love to do and DO THEM, LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. you can get here too. This is coming from someone who contemplated suicide time and time again but knew God had a purpose for letting me suffer this way , so I’m able to HELP PEOPLE LIKE ME. God bless you all and Jesus right now I pray for everyone struggling with mental health problems and I pray you can guide them to the right direction, the light and the truth that is YOU. That’s why I can finally see the light at the tunnel, it’s Jesus calling me home. God bless you all, amen. 🙏🏼🩷🩵💜

Hey everyone, I’m about 4-5 months into my OCD recovery now and feeling a lot better overall. I’ve been thinking about a bunch of stuff lately, and one thing that keeps coming up is coffee. I used to be convinced that coffee made my anxiety and intrusive thoughts worse, but now I’m wondering if that was just another one of OCD’s tricks. I’m really thinking about giving coffee another go because, honestly, my work days can be so draining, and I feel like I could really use that caffeine boost again! 😂 But I’m still a bit on the fence and wanted to hear your experiences. Have any of you noticed if caffeine actually affects your OCD or anxiety? Does it make things worse for you, or have you found it doesn’t really have much of an impact? Would love to get your opinions! Thanks!

I've seen numerous posts about changing themes and introducing new ones. Could it be that these categories are merely artificial constructs we've created to impose order on a disorder that isn't truly related to the themes themselves? It seems like they might provide a misleading framework for addressing issues and could potentially confine both patients and caregivers to a limited perspective. What are your thoughts on this?

Hi all, this is my first post and I wanted to go over my specific situation and see if anyone within this community has dealt with the same thing. A few things to note first: 1) I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD and have yet to see a professional about my issues. So it’s entirely possible that it’s not OCD related. I am in the process of trying to see a specialist, but don’t have an appointment set yet. 2) Because I have not been diagnosed, I am extremely confused about my issues, and if I am feeding into compulsive behavior by researching etc. I have a very specific situation and that leaves me confused about what to do/not do. A little background: I’m in my early 30s and got divorced about three years ago. My ex and I were only married a short time and it was a very toxic relationship. We probably rushed into it and truly were not compatible and figured that out after we said “I do”. She was very emotionally and verbally abusive to me, and just not a great human being. After the divorce, I stayed out of the dating scene for about a year. I met my current girlfriend a little over a year and a half ago. Our relationship has been wonderful so far and I see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She’s kind, thoughtful and cares deeply for me. Up until about four months ago, our sex life was amazing and I had very few erectile issues. That was the same in previous relationships before my ex too. Good relationships and only a few minor erection issues. Then, a few months ago, as I began more seriously thinking about timelines of getting engaged or taking the next step, I started to have intrusive thoughts about “what if this isn’t right for me”. “What if I don’t actually love her”. “What if she doesn’t actually love me?” Thoughts about her past partners too and if she was actually happy with me. Around the same time (though seemingly not related at that point) I also had an episode of E.D. that has since shattered my confidence. It’s been an endless loop of anxiety, panic, and rumination/questioning since then. Sometimes, it works okay, sometimes I lose it midway through. Which causes immense stress and reinforces the cycle. She has been super kind and considerate about it, saying it’s okay and not a big deal, etc. but it eats at me. At the same time, I’ve basically been singularly focused and obsessed about solving this issue, whether or not it’s just an E.D. issue, if it’s related to OCD, related to my past trauma, etc. The thing that bugs me is that for the first 1.25 years of our relationship, everything in the bedroom and the rest of our relationship was great. We waited several months after we began dating to have sex and it has been amazing and really still is when I’m not having anxiety about it. I had planned that we would get engaged this fall and I don’t know how much of these obsessive thoughts and panic is just because that date is moving closer vs something else. When we are together, it still feels great and we can sit and talk for hours on end. Like I said, we have a great relationship. It’s just that in the last few months, with my anxiety and panic, I feel 1000 miles away sometimes, completely in my head trying to figure out what’s wrong and how to solve it. As I mentioned in the top, I haven’t had an ocd diagnosis. But I have really recognized some of the symptoms in myself. This all came out of the blue and caused me great stress. The obsessive thoughts of our relationship being wrong or her not being right for me cause me extreme sadness and despair. But when I’m not having those panicking thoughts and can be present with her, I feel pretty much as good as I always did before. That leads me to my final question/issue. If any males have had similar ROCD and ED issues, how did you handle it? I have taken viagra a few times and it has certainly helped maintain my erection. I just feel weird taking it and am also concerned that if this is OCD, that I’m avoiding something/giving into a compulsion by medicating it away. TL/DR: I’m having obsessive thoughts about my otherwise good relationship all of the sudden that is causing me great stress and anxiety. I’m also having erection issues, which might be the root cause of all of this anyway. I’ve had a past relationship that ended in divorce and don’t know how that might be impacting things. And I don’t know how to handle the idea of taking a pill to help with the erection issues. It’s a chicken/egg issue and I don’t know how to not make things worse.

I have obsessive thoughts 24 /7 . The anxiety is high all the time and I get knew thoughts and false memories to obsess about and I’m tired because it don’t stop . I feel like it’s never gonna end .

Guys, it's been 6 months into my journey with recovery from OCD. As a self-identified Christian, straight male, with strong desires to want the world to have absolute meaning, to get married to a woman, to have a family, I've had very very distressing thoughts throughout the last few years of my life, especially learning about how uncertain our world, and truly life is. However, I am doing a lot better. I don't need to feel the need to compulsively prove to myself that I am or I am not those things. I understand as human we can change and sometimes we won't change. However, the underlying suffering of the anxiety, and the reinforcing behavior has lessened so so much. Even if my life doesn't turn out how I want it to, I don't have to suffer with extreme anxiety and compulsive behavior over a simple thought. Keep doing your ERP, even when you don't feel like it. You'll have bad days, you'll have good days. In my experience, it's always a cycle. And you can move forward, stay present and keep going, fellow OCD warriors!

I don’t know who to talk to, how I can tell my GP about my OCD problems, or where to even look for affordable therapy. I have doubts that therapy will even help me considering the already messed up state im in, it feels so irreversible. I feel so effed up. All i want is some professional help, I never had therapy before in my life so i don’t know what it’s like and how the process goes. Plus im scared I’ll end up wasting my money on someone who can’t help. There’s too much of a whirlwind going on in my mind right now.

So I'm suffering with SO-OCD I'm a female (22) who's struggling about if I'm gay or Bi and I have a bf of 6 years so the struggle is intense cause it's always idk idk idk, am I? what if ? and so on. And I keep thinking of all these things and evidence stuff and all that overthinking. I thought I was straight??? Now I'm just confused because I keep thinking and thinking. The classic. But I wanted to ask, is it a ocd thing if you feel like you wanna say certain things outloud? Like for example, I've been tryna re-watch my anime again cause I had a crush on literally all the guys on this one show and I was like well maybe if I put this on I'll be comfortable or whatever. But now, I'm only focusing on the girls only, and now my brain keeps feeling like I have crushes on them or it makes me wanna say " I like -insert female name-". I can't quite explain it but when I would usually fan girl over my anime guys or real life male celebs I'd literally be like I LOVE CHRIS EVANS, I'M A SIMP FOR USUI ( male characters) or whatever. And now it feels like I wanna do that to the females. But it's so odd cause idk?????????? I'm just confused, cause now it feels like I'm not even attracted to my male crushes I use to have or just guys in general. BUT I will say when I do see a guy I was once attracted too like for example Jensen Ackles, I feel like my brain just pushes it away bevause it's like " you're distracted thinking about girls only so you can't find him attractive anymore" I can't explain it well but yeah. And literally like maybe 2 months ago I literally was being a simp for one of my anime men and I'd literally talk about it for weeks or days and save every edit known to man haha. But now I'm like idk And at work too, my boss hired like another employee for the meantime, and I have worked with her sorda but she was doing stuff on the other side of the wall. But I feel like I keep looking or checking or observing I guess? But now since I'm gonna like officially work with her for a lil bit tomorrow at the cashier and such. I'm afraid I'm going to develop a crush on her cause I'm gonna be near her for once. It's silly I know but idk I just feel I guess nervous? Cause I don't wanna develop feelings or anything? But i just feel like what if I'm in denial? And fyi all my coworkers are girls but this was before I had my so-ocd theme. So I guess my question is, why is it do I feel like I wanna say such things out loud to female characters or real life people like celebs. Like " I wanna date so and so" like out of nowhere when I think of a specific female when I'm alone or I guess I wanna confess that to my bf too And is it also a ocd thing where I feel like I'm gonna develop feelings or a crush because she's a girl and new and I'm thinking of like maybe I will get feelings because my brain is so fixated on women rn? I'm just stress cause I have a bf of 6 Years and I've talked to him about this and he really just wants me to relax one day without thinking so much. But I just feel so irritated because I see so many different post about this theme and I just feel like stuck or the only one I guess? I do find females attractive and very pretty but I also am a artist as well and I usually just find people pretty or attractive in different ways. Like if I see a women who just looks stunning. I'm literally in awe at how beautiful she can be. I actually have a coworker and I actually told her this like almost 2 years ago that I thought she was so pretty and stuff and like she can be a model. In a compliment type of way, she's just stunning to me you know? But I don't think I saw her as a love interest of anything. I just really thought she was pretty. But when I would see a cute guy, I'd get nervous I guess? Or just like oh he's cute you know? Sorry I'm just thinking so much, I'm just tired of this theme, it's so annoying. I just wanna go back to being who I thought I was and I do miss fangiriling over my characters I had crushes on but now I just be having doubts about everything of what my SO is. Sorry for this long message. Thanks for anyone who replies or understands the situation. It's definitely tough :/

I’ve had health anxiety for years now and I have moments where I’m not worried about my health but as of the last 2 months my health anxiety has been terrible because of the physical sensations my body gets from anxiety if I feel a pain I can’t help but think it’s a serious illness, or if I see someone who got cancer or any other illness I can’t help but think the same might happen to me. I’m so tired of being worried about my health it makes me afraid to live my life I can’t even relax or have fun anymore because of it I just want my life back

i constantly overthink my relationahip with my boyfriend. i constantly am like “am i not in love with him?” simply bc i dont find his voice as attractive as some other men, or bc i dont get butterflies whenever he texts me or calls me nicknames. i constantly iverthink everything i do and i am obssesed with every number i see ending in a 5 or a 0 and if it doesnt i get secerely uncomfortable. i make everything even and i have to have a specific order for all my jewelery and stuff. im tired of struggling everyday.

Honestly this is triggered by the fact I remember I had this little fascination with someone who was I think in one grade below me in highschool. (Mind you if I was born one month later I would’ve been in the same class as them) and now that I did have a seemingly little fancy for them now all of a sudden I am a predator who was searching for freshman…. 💀 They weren’t a freshman (my logical side says) but my brain has taken the what if and made it sick and gross… I think I do remember even saying that it’ll be sad that they’ll have to wait another school semester till we’d ever see each other again in college…. So why is my brain insisting they are a freshmen??? I specifically remember being a junior before, having a freshmen come onto me and the moment I found out i immediately cut them off (I have my own worries about that real event too…) So why does my brain tell me I was seeking that out???

I am still spiralling more than a week later about a situation with my cousin’s son. He is nearly two and I had my foot off the couch when he walked by. Im scared his private part touched my foot but he was clothed. No I feel like I traumatized him and ruined his life and mine. I feel like I can’t live not knowing whether I hurt him or not. How do you deal with the terrible guilty and anxiety? It definitely comes in waves for me but today I have felt horrible.

I’m starting to feel like recovery is not possible. I want to love my boyfriend again. I want to be with him forever. The pain in my chest is becoming unbearable. The headache I have everyday is becoming unbearably exhausting. Losing this relationship will be the biggest regret of my life but I’m also scared that staying will be the biggest regret of my life.