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the NOCD Community

I’m so happy to see the ad on TV where Howie Mandel dispels some myths about OCD and talks about what it actually is. I think bringing awareness from a celebrity who deals with it is a great move.

Ughhhhh I’ve had the groinal all day and it really hurts is there any sort of medicine or something that reduces feelings of “arousal” that can just completely knock out the groinal or at least lower the symptoms of it? I know a lot of medications cause extremely low sex drive but idm it because I’m asexual and don’t ever plan on having sex because I literally hate everything sexual. I’m just so tired of this and it’s been hurting me all day it’s so aggravatinggggg I haven’t even been able to focus due to my somatic ocd I’m constantly aware of all my unconscious bodily functions and it makes me wanna rip my hair out

I don't know if this is ocd related I just know that my ocd feels unbearable when it happens. From time to time I'll get waves of panic attacks that for me will lasts for a week. 3 days if I'm lucky. Recently I went up to 12 days with on and off panic attacks and barely doing or eating anything. This is the longest that this has lasted. I am a overall very anxious person but these make me want to tear my skin off. Does anybody know what this is?? I brought it up to my mom and asked if it was a panic disorder, but she said she doesn't think I have one because she has one and she said that's not what a panic disorder is. I've told her about the waves of panic attacks before and I'm trying to get therapy but right now I feel terrible. Is this a symptom of ocd ?? Does anyone else go through this?? Does anyone KNOW what this is?? Please lmk and if you have anything that could help please tell me :( (I have diagnosed OCD and GAD if that helps any!!)

I have a problem with reassurance, I crave it and I constantly seek it. I’m not trying to get reassurance out of this post,but I’d like your opinion. I’m not sure if my actions today would help or make my condition worse. I had an intrusive thought which idk if I can call them intrusive anymore. Anyways, I was browsing YouTube videos today, and I came across a video of a man that I suddenly thought was appealing/ attractive. Instead of trying to fight that thought or suppress it, I accepted the thought for what it was , and admitted to myself yes, this person is appealing/ attractive. Seconds later, my anxiety dissipated. That had me a little confused and I got anxious again. I wasn’t sure if what I just did. Was a compulsion or just acceptance for who I am ? I sometimes ask ChatGPT for advice. This is its response to my question. No, if a straight man thinks another man looks appealing, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay. Recognizing that someone is attractive doesn’t automatically indicate romantic or sexual attraction, nor does it define someone's sexual orientation. People can appreciate beauty or aesthetics in others without it reflecting their own preferences or identity. Sexual orientation is about who someone is romantically or sexually attracted to, while acknowledging someone's appearance as appealing is more of an observation. It's normal for straight men to find other men attractive without it being a sign that they are gay. Apparently, this is a normal thing among men. if I can accept it,deep down. I think I’ll be OK.

Hi guys! I have had a really rough couple of days. I got really triggered and it has stuck around for a few more days than usual now. I have this overwhelming feeling of giving up and i even feel relief from it at times which is scary, but it goes COMPLETELY against my value system and i dont think i would ever end my life because it means way too much to me. my compulsions have been trying to convince myself of reasons why life is beautiful but i have been so overwhelmed by thoughts that i cant do this. i really dont want to die!! so why is my brain filling with these thoughts to just give up? Anything helps <3 I have therapy tomorrow thank GOODNESS

I was having a really good day at work and then all of a sudden, I realize that my harm OCD wasn’t there and then that reminded my brain to think about all these horrible things. I’ve been having really bad intrusive thoughts about wanting to hurt people or the fear of doing these things and I caught myself ruminating on things like oh well did this movie make me feel uncomfortable so I can reassure myself that I don’t wanna do these things and it’s just that fear like that I’m gonna wanna do it and it’s not even people that I’m close to. It’s literally anyone it could be like a random stranger thing about these things cause I know that’s a compulsion. So I thought I would put a message out to see if anyone could relate or has any advice.

So i JUST started to feel better with getting my OCD under control with therapy and medication. Today I learned I have HPV. I don't have the bad type, my pap smear was actually normal I just had the presence of the virus. Nurse told me there is really nothing I should be worried about or need to do except get my immune system back up and healthy and its 90% likely ill clear it on my own in 1-2 years. STILL!!! 90% is not 100% and the internet has NOT been my friend today so iv decided I should stay off of it. Im scared, I feel dirty. My husband has taken the news well with a " oh well, whats mine is yours and yours is mine lol" attitude but I just wanted to see if anyone on here had some advice. PLEASE no horror story and negative experiences or words of caution (I got them all already) I need success stories, tips on how to manage the health anxiety spiral that hasn't happened YET but I feel is coming. Im usually all over this page giving advice, today I need it. kind words and compassion, please.

Hi, sorry to be so negative but I'm feeling down right now. I've been dealing with so-ocd for so long, I'm thinking about my sexual orientation every minute of everyday, I often feel disconnected from reality... it's just too much. I wonder if it's just ocd or something else, and I feel so lost and confused. I would just like to feel like me again, to be happy, to think about other things, to be present for the people I love

I don’t expect anyone to give me any reassurance that I’m a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I don’t want to fight anymore, I can’t do it. I’m a bad person. I can’t see the light anymore I don’t think I can get better from this anymore, I think I’m gonna give up, I’m actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof I’m a bad person, I thought about it so I just can’t. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I don’t know why I did this cause I know it’s wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like “do you think he’s handsome” and I said “maybe I don’t know, I don’t think he’s handsome. He might be” and oh my god I can’t believe I said something like this, I know some will say “oh it might be intrusive” but I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m done. I don’t even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I can’t stand it, I can’t do this anymore

Anyone else have a hard time discerning conviction vs OCD? Been in a relationship with someone for 2 months now. We’re both believers in Christ and are active in our communities. It started off with me experiencing relationship OCD where I was struggling with doubts of my attraction towards my partner but now I’ve started to wonder if God doesn’t want me in this relationship. I’ve recently been having thoughts that I’m disobeying God and that all of this is happening as a result of me ignoring him. I’m having a hard time understanding whether I’m intentionally ignoring a conviction or if OCD is the culprit. This sucks, haha.

Hi! This is my first post ever but I feel like I’m going crazy and I am just in need to talk to someone who can relate a little bit. I have a relationship of three years with a wonderful man. We have the best relationship I could’ve asked for and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. A few years ago, I went through a horrible breakup where I was left suddenly out of nowhere. I then found my now boyfriend and have been happy ever since. Until about 6 weeks ago. We’ve had long distance and this summer we were finally moving in together later in the fall. However in the midst of summer I suddenly got the “what if you are not really in love with him?” - thought striking me SO hard. The thoughts would run on days end, I’d spend hours and hours on Reddit, doing online quizzes and trying to figure it out. Of course I couldn’t, and the anxiety kept screaming at me that I have to leave him. Eventually I realised that some behaviours were unhealthy and tried to resist the urge to google or ask for reassurance. However then the mental things started taking over. I spend every minute of every day thinking, catestriphizing, obsessed with handling this the “right” way, trying to figure out what is real etc. I have had every possible thought, from that I’m not in love, to that I must be gay to that I am in love with all my colleagues or my bestfriend etc etc. I started taking 50 mg of Zoloft four weeks ago. At first the anxiety subsided but the thoughts have been constant for weeks. (Like I’ll have maybe 20 seconds where I don’t think about “it” and then I get a new thought “now you didn’t think about it”) aI feel like I’m going crazy. Today has been the worst day of my life, as I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I had to break up with my boyfriend immediately. The thought absolutely terrified me. I think that is breaking up is my largest fear in life, and I don’t want us to or lose this amazing human being that I love. However my brain constantly throws doubt at me and I just can’t take it anymore. I’m paralyzed by fear the moment I wake up, and the relief I initially got from reassurance and googling or ruminating is all gone. I never feel relief anymore, and I officially feel like I’m in hell. 🥺

Does anyone have any tips they can share as to what they do to prevent intrusive images from coming into their brain? Or when it happens how to cope?

Hi! Does anyone struggle with loneliness? Especially when it comes to talking to your loved ones about what you go through. I’ve been struggling with this because it either leads to a fight or I’m not understood. My husband and I have been having some issues and I have a bad habit of bringing up the past. I don’t know why I keep doing it it’s just I get a thought and it goes into auto mode recently. We are going to marriage counseling soon but I try to tell him and family how I’m feeling and it just turns into a fight or it turns into me being dismissed. I just honestly want someone I can trust to hear me but it feels like I can’t really talk to anyone. I think it’s a relapse and I keep doing ERP but honestly I just need someone to listen. Does anyone relate or am I just it? I feel like I’m losing the love of my life and I’m breaking at the mere thought of it.

I do have lots of thoughts regarding my daily activities it just comes as a compulsion like what I did yesterday by this time what was exactly happening it just give me lot of anxiety

I feel like I wanna throw up I feel shivers It feels like you’re going to be sick I can’t sleep at all I stayed up all night because of this (not the first time) I physically feel sick

Sometimes I feel like I’m not even myself…💀 I’m either 1: possesed 2: Schizophrenic 3: ocd 4: insane

I think I've obsessed over my sexuality that it might have changed. I've had nearly 4 years of misery and anxiety pretty much everyday. I can't believe how much I used love girls I just hope this is all in my head. I argue with myself in my head I feel could this be my ocd ?. I'm so confused please help somebody 😒 xxxx

❌❌❌DO NOT READ IF YOURE YOUNGER ❌❌❌ —- — - I feel like a really bad person right now, I remember my past and I remember when I was 14, I sent actual inappro//priate pictures of myself to my partner and I regret it so much, i genuinely do, I thought it was okay because I was around adults that were inappropriate to me, and it was so normalized, I don’t know why, I feel like I’m gonna go to jail, this happened 2 years ago but I still feel afraid that I will be in jail for what I’ve done, I can’t stop worrying about this event and I just need help, please someone help, am I a bad person?

I didn’t sleep again last night. The thoughts were just so loud and I couldn’t let them be without engaging. This lead to a full night of rumination and tossing and turning. It just keeps saying “confess. come out. cut. run. that’s the only way this will go away” and it’s so exhausting. I look at everyone around me now with envy that they aren’t dealing with this (not that I know what anyone is dealing with) but I’m just so jealous of all my friends who aren’t putting their husbands through this. The thoughts are so loud, but I know they are not what I want and my body is uncomfortable with the idea of being with a woman. I feel this immense amount of guilt and shame, like I was living in denial all these years and lying to everyone. I was feeling better and then with this diagnosis it got worse almost like “you wanted to get this diagnosis to justify that you’re not in denial” it’s so frustrating and exhausting. On top of that, ROCD has been spitting out the worst things about my relationship with my husband. I miss the old me who was confident in who she was and laughed and ate and slept and danced in the kitchen with her husband and raced home to him every night looking forward to all moments together. Now I’m just scared and I feel like a shell. I’m trying to sit with the uncertainty, i’m trying the “maybe, maybe not” statements, but it’s hard to know where the intrusive thoughts end and my actual thoughts begin at this point. It feels so real and so cluttered.

I really feel like SOOCD is such a tricky theme. They tell you to sit with it and not overthink it and accept the possibilty, but we're talking about our future and someone else's future! I also feel like societal pressure doesnt help this theme at all. And its always gonna come up, because as a women, when I hang out with my friends, all they talk about is 1) their relationshios 2) their crush so my brain automatically compares or stresses when it does not relate. I try looking for comphet video on tiktok (i vividely dont recommend doing that) and some videos kind of made sens so I was like, am I a lesbian? So for instance, there is one girl who came ut at 26 and she was like "all my life I felt like I needed to date guys and chose my crushes and when I was making out with my bf it always felt like something was missing and then when I went out with the girl I realised that it wasnt supposed to feel hard and whats natural to your body will come to you naturally". She said that even tho she's a lesbian now she still imagines a life where she has a husband and kids but she knows that she cant have that because she likes imagining that she's straight when indeed she's not. (that was a very big spike for me). and she knew that if she went down that road she would never date men again ( and I feel like I relate to that?!). So to calm myself I said, idc if im gay or bi, at least my bf will be my "one" exception. And right after there was a video of a girl who said " if you're a girl going out with your bf and thinking you're 99 percent into women but that your bf is the exception leave him, you're a lesbian" ughhhhhhhh. My biggest worry right now after being in a 6 year relationship is that I feel if I imagine it that I would feel way more for a women then for a man? but my therapist told me it was normal because with two women its always more intense but im like but what does it mean? that I dont know true love? That I dont love my current partner or at least not enough? I also feel like sometimes, if I ever break up with my bf I'll never date guys after? like even if they were perfect? I know that for anyone reading that shows that Im in denial... I've talked to my therapist about it and she always is like "live in the moment". Ugh