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the NOCD Community

do u get a fear that after the intrusive feelings (false attraction) that you will Get romantic feelings after this all ends? because i do. especially bc i was hyperfixated on the guy in the past

Hi there, recently diagnosed with ocd. Now i do recognise some behaviors being a child that were associated with ocd but i could live with them and they never caused me harm. Ocd flared up out of nowhere due to my life being stressful 2 months ago and now i haven’t been the same since. Did it just appear out of nowhere for everyone else. Im so worried it wont get better and it will always be this bad. I constantly have existential thoughts and health w suicide ocd.

And i dont think there ever will be... im genuinely feeling horrible and i dont feel like ill ever recover from today... first the youtuber mocking pocd... to someone on NOCD telling me that im hiding behind a diagnosis and that i need to turn myself in... im genuinely at a loss for words... i am broken and alone... I have no one to turn to... and at this point i dont think i ever will...

I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?

i have done so many bad things bc of my OCD. and the thing is i have actually done them. whether or not they were compulsions doesn’t matter bc i still did those things with a fully conscious mind and I cannot erase those moments. and today I did something completely irredeemable. I don’t know how I can live with myself bc I know I am not worthy of life anymore. I am not worthy of being able to walk around free when I am a danger. and people will say “no it’s just your thoughts telling u this” NO IT ISNT. I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE BAD THINGS THAT ARE IMMORAL AND AT THIS POINT CALLING THEM COMPULSIONS JUST FEELS WRONG. I wish I had normal ocd. bc I know I deserve to suffer bc of all these things so im fine with it being normal OCD. there is nothing no one can do for me anymore. I doubt anyone will see this post anyway. and if u have read this far, ur better off just scrolling away bc im just a terrible person who is better off d3@d.

I just had a panic attack. It feels too real. It feels like I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Why is this happening? Why don’t I feel anything? Why don’t I love him? Why am I even questioning whether I ever loved him in the first place? I’ve been stuck in this for so long that I’m starting to believe it’s the truth. What if I feel this way because I just don’t want to accept that I don’t like him? What if I led him on this entire time? When I talk to him, I feel nothing. I’m not interested in anything. I can’t have conversations with him, I can’t kiss him, I just feel numb and fake. I feel horrible. What is happening to me? How did I get here? Why don’t I feel okay? I don’t understand what I feel. I feel like I’m lying to myself, like I’m stuck in this terrifying loop. I also feel like I don’t even care that I’m hurting him. I know he’s upset, and I know this is affecting him too, but I feel nothing about it. I don’t know why. It’s like something is blocking me from feeling anything. I know I should care. I know I love him. So why do I feel like I don’t? I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t recognize myself anymore. What if this is real? I just want to feel normal again. i dont understand what is happening. i fear i didn’t love him ever because these thoughts started in the 4th month of us being together. in two months we make 2 years. am i leading him on? im a horrible person. i dont understand .

Recently ive had ocd thoughts that are really weird and make no sense (they sound like thoughts that someone would have if they were in physcosis eg. What if trump can communicate with you through your head) like what??? Sometimes it feels like i believe it??? Which stresses me out and im constantly worried that im going through physcosis since i sort of belive it? I know deep down its ridiculous but it almost feels like i believe it?? Im scared. Like sometimes im calm with the thought. Im like oh okay maybe. Then sometimes my brain tries to imagine him like talking to me through my head??? Am i going through physcosis.??

Does anyone else read books, texts, emails or any form of text over and over or start again because a word wasn’t “right” if you don’t something bad will happen?

I feel like the thoughts are telling me, "You want this, you want to be attracted to kids" when I know that's not the case. I've been stuck ruminating for the past couple of days and I'm so worried about this disorder convincing me that I'm something I've never been. I try not to fight it, but when I don't it feels like I'm giving into it like it's true. The meds I'm on keep me from being super depressed, but it's still there. I feel like I'm going to act on my thoughts one day and it worries me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I don't know if this is progress or a relapse. Even when having intercourse with my partner, I had to thought block because the thoughts were images while in the middle of it. Then afterwards, they came flooding in saying that I was doing it as a distraction. I don't know what else to do. I try to pinpoint all of my triggers, but sometimes I don't think I even have any. I feel like a monster. I'm honestly scared.

Basically I got a lots of vivid dreams last night and I woke up but went sleep again and was sort of trying to sleep but felt like I was awake not asleep but a vivid scene of a man say you did something with an underage person and I started remember but how can I do this in my sleep . I think I did it but not sure when .

Ok so I just downloaded this app like two days ago because I was looking for a OCD specialist. Maybe this is just my opinion but the posting’s on this app can be super triggering. If feels like even sharing your experience on an app like this can contribute to fueling OCD. So many people I see reassurance seeking, confessing and posting the same things multiple times to gain certainty. Makes me wonder if this app is counterproductive to the point of OCD treatment. I’m guilty of spending hours scrolling through the post trying to find people who relate to me, but in the end it makes me more anxious and fuels my OCD. Idk what do you guys think.

Does anyone’s cute aggression spiral their pocd 😞 i feel like i can’t even playfully squeeze , pinch , play bite my kid without the ocd twisting it … What makes it worse is when i try to “fight” the ocd and continue on doing what im doing , it doubles down convincing me that i am now CONSCIOUSLY acting on something. Does this make sense to any parents on here? 😢

I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore

This may not work for everyone but I’ve started to find being mean to my intrusive thoughts helps honestly. “That’s fucking dumb” “No normal person would worry about this” “If this happened to my friend they wouldn’t think they’re horrible so why should i?” I’ve been in treatment for almost a year so I also do the “maybe, maybe not” but sometimes my fears are so insanely stupid.

I’m involved in a relationship with someone I’ve been with for 4 years, I love him with everything I am however recently these past few months between a year or two I’ve felt very detached from him and I fear I’m falling out of love with him, last night I had a very intimate encounter over the phone with a coworker I’ve developed feelings for…. I could really use some advice I’m not sure what to do as part of me wishes to be single but the other part of me feels god awful for leaving my partner …

Im so fucking terrified by my own thoughts. Idk how much longer I can go on like this. Just every single thing my brain produces feels either distorted by OCD or like I've literally done the most deplorable thing any person could do. Can't reach out to a specialist because I don't have the money and too scared too share. So scared that it's real

Hi! I just discovered a couple of months ago that I have ADHD. I already had the diagnose for ocd and now I also have this diagnose, and I was really wondering how can you treat both? Because I think they fuel each other a lot, especially because I have Pure OCD so it’s mainly mental anxiety and compulsions. How do you treat both, does somebody have experience with this? Is there a good therapy for both of these? Thanks :)

Im going through a virus right now that is really strong and i find myself worry about my health all day. And you would say thats normal but i say the same thing and thats why i dont stop worrying or stop adding to the worry cause i think its normal to worry and doing anything about it would just make it worse, so im just continue to worry which makes my symptoms worse. I try to shift my focus but the fear is so loud and i feel like im just ignoring my health, its really hard with health anxiety cause you cant just say "well it is what it is" or the basic "maybe maybe not" cause its about your health and if you dont take it seriously then you will regret it... So i dont know how to stop worrying

hi everyone 👋🏻 This is less of an ROCD post but I urgently need advice because i feel like i can't think straight. My bf and I are together for almost 3 years. Ive gained over 10kg over the last six months which led to him kind of commenting on my relationship with food. I always struggled with my weight and he knows. I also know that I eat very unhealthy and a lot but I have been having difficulties with my eating disorder in the last couple of months and its just not easy to snap out of it. Yesterday I showed him pants that I would like to buy myself and he said that my bum would be a little too much in those pants. It hurt me a lot and I immediately told him why he would say something like that and he just said that he didn't try to be mean and it just came out like that and he knows that it was wrong, so he apologised. But i couldn't let go of it because we've had another discussion like this over 2 months ago and he promised me to stop commenting on my body and my eating disorder. It just makes me feel like he generally prefers skinny women. So i asked him, i asked him if he prefers skinny women and he said that he would prefer if i would lose a few pounds. My heart shattered in that moment and I don't know what to do and how to deal with it. We've talked about it last night and he understands that he's in the wrong but i don't know how to cope and what to do. Please give me some advice

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true