Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I tend to have an ocd meltdown in the middle of night and am alone and scared. Who do you guys turn to ?

My religious ocd is so bad I can’t do anything I wan to anymore and want to check in myself to a hospital. I can’t dress the way I want, do anything at all and feel I just convert to full Christianity so I do not go to hell. My ocd tells me I hate Hod and talk crap about God when I don’t.

Hello, my name is Brittany, and I have been living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for as long as I can remember. However, since experiencing a stroke that I believe was a result of chiropractic care, my struggles have intensified and become overwhelmingly exhausting. I have always been acutely aware of my body and its signals, which has led to a heightened sense of worry about potential health complications. Though I’ve always had a tendency to worry, the anxiety that has surged since my stroke feels insurmountable. I’m reaching out in hopes of connecting with others who understand this journey, sharing stories and experiences in the hope that, one day, I might find a way to overcome these challenges or at least discover some relief from the relentless grip of anxiety.

I have read many people use the word theme in their posts. I think I know what that means as far as OCD goes but could someone please confirm me??? Thanks!

I been going to church looking for answers about my false memories if they are even false and overall ocd. Everything that I'm learning about ocd ultimately I get told that it's due to sin and that's why I feel overwhelmed and have the urge to confess on things idk if they are real or not. I just dont know whats my truth my mind Is saying one thing but I need a lot of confirmation if what im thinking its true thats why i been seeking confirmation going to church. Would appreciate a response or if anyone is going through this 🙏

Terrified of aggressive homeless right by my apartment 4 times already this week I have been continuously stalked, verbally threaten, and shown the middle finger. These 2 homeless people stay everyday at a nearby park just 1 minute from my apartment and loiter around on either sidewalk beside my building and surrounding residential neighborhood. I have filed police reports and been told to avoid the area but I live in this area so l am always encountering these terrifying people. They definitely know my appearance and dog So l am change my clothes and dog haircut I am terrified stepping outside my home and returning to it . I've informed my property manager as well. And I do have pepper spray and a taser but just freeze up and afraid to use it confidently Fear I could be looking like the assailant on these "defenseless homeless" ?? I've even asked the local homeless outreach to intervene and get these individuals help. How can I feel safe again? I am obsessing they will physically assault me given the verbal threats they will hurt me. Paranoid they know my every movements, when I leave home , trying to walk a different route and a different time and when I go home. Constant looking at my surrounds and behind my shoulder. Trying to stay close to groups of families, well lit area, restaurants Overall have not had such horrible encounters in this neighborhood until now (edited)

I am really suffering with health anxiety at the minute I am absolutely PETRIFIED of cancer and Im only 17 its draining the life out of me Ive had a cough / cold for two weeks now and ive felt itchy - Has anyone else ever just felt really itchy Im terrified in case I have cancer Im really really petrified I get so scared of death im really frightened SO frightened Im so so scared of the C. Uts scary

i remember way back pandemic, my contamination ocd started, noticed that i am severely disgusted when it comes to my own fluid (semen), ever since that year i always wash my hands when i open every door knobs in our house thinking that the semen is there, and actually earlier i pleasured myself and noticed that my pajama absorbed it so i am really disgusted cause what if it touches my bedsheet, so i removed my bedsheet rn and decided to sleep on my mom's foam instead, and like i've been like this ever since, when will it end

Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”

I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.

Starting to think I have unresolved childhood trauma unfortunately. Health OCD is also driving my absolutely crazy but I'm too scared to go to my doctor. I worry about diabetes, illnesses, cancer, skin problems, etc. I just hope everything works out in the end. Right now I just can't do the things I love doing because I'm constantly worrying about everything. All of my worries are exacerbated and I just can't keep them away. They only come back.

So with my theme of ocd, ( hocd ) I get persistent intrusive images, and thoughts. It’s not like one or two a day. Like if I’m out for the whole day they’re constant. I feel I can’t even look at a girl now without her intrusive thoughts about her or about me fancying her and even sexual intrusive thoughts.. It’s awful. It’s everywhere I look. Is this common with ocd with any themes? Like is it constant for you guys too?

Today, I was telling my husband about an event from my past—an intrusive thought I had in my late teens that was sexual in nature. It was a casual conversation, but when he said, ‘Thanks for sharing, but I don’t want to know that,’ I started spiraling. My OCD immediately went, ‘What if he thinks I’m disgusting?’ Right away, I noticed the urge to confess and go into detail about the thought, just to prove it wasn’t bad. But in my mind, he already thought I was horrible. I had to sit there and cry, because if I gave in, the doubt would only linger. Now, I’m cleaning my bathroom, trying not to ruminate. Just putting this here to show that OCD recovery isn’t linear, I have been in remission for two years but today OCD decided to show up. I know I’ll be okay because I am using my tools, but today, I’m just going to cry and sit with the discomfort.

For the past like 4 months, my ROCD has been getting worse and worse. I’ve been on lexapro for about 1.5 months now and it’s basically gotten rid of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But now I’m stuck with the constant feeling of not loving my bf. At this point I can’t even recognize him as someone I love. Like I will stare at him and try to feel something or recognize him but I feel nothing. It feels like I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t want to give up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if it’s still the ocd and the medication is making it worse or if I’m truly just falling out of love with him. While not being on the verge of a panic attack and ruminating 24/7 is great, i feel like I’ve lost my identity and my emotions.

I have panic disorder, and OCD and anxiety. Does anyone else ever feel just off the edge all the time? Like I always feel like something’s off or something’s gonna happen. I don’t know how to explain the feeling. But I always feel off and when I feel off I panic

Each night I go to bed determined to stop compulsions and start beating this disorder. Then I wake up and it smacks me in the face first thing and I’m doing a compulsion before I know it. I told my therapist that I would try to handle it like we do in session, but I’ve already failed. It seems like I can’t bring ERP into my “real” life.

Of course we can’t stop the inevitable but with my ocd it’s all I can think about. I’m afraid I’ll be alone for ever and I’ll fear forever. Fear does not stop death it stops life. But how do I stop fear??? I can’t think of anything scarier than the fact that our conscious will vanish for eternity. I am only 20 years old but I mean the last 5 years flew by like nothing.

I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.

I cannot help but feel exhausted as I go through life. It feels like I've lost the spark in me. And I'm pushing myself for no cause.

should i be doing erp instead of repeating again and again "none of that shits real. none of that shits real. none of that shits real" ? i can’t tell if it makes it better or not