Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍

Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.

Is it true that ppl without ocd may not even notice some of their thoughts in the first place that people with ocd notice and fixate on?

Nearly a week since I stopped in the middle of a compulsion and I still feel stressed and tempted to finish it. My throat, ears, head, chest, legs,arms, my body has been hurting since then. And if I finish it will it stop? But what's stopping me is.. I've been trying to trust God to handle it. Idk what to do rn, Ive been trying to set up a schedule for this week but it ended up not working out so I will try again next week, and School work I'm years behind (I'm in yr 10), I don't rlly have any friends either to help me. But anyways I try not to think about school that much since I have alot more to think about. And I don't even have any talent or anything I want to be I just want to be a good person but I'm horrible I just need to do focus on stuff Like getting closer to God. looking after myself. The OCD thoughts which. I can't do any of these tho because the OCD makes me so stressed I just want to hit the OCD in the face but I can't obviously so I do it to myself, And they make me want to do more to myself but I don't because ✝️ And I don't want to. Anyways I can't even do the basic things to look after yourself, and The OCD thoughts keep saying about death all the time, and illness. I don't like hearing it in my head all the time I can't do anything properly. And Those thoughts are active when I try read the Bible. Even when I used an audio bible. And a app where u read 1 verse at a time it's still hard. But basically what do I do My throat keeps feeling weird like burning without the feeling hot ughhshsheh I don't want to go back into that life when I was 12-13 where I was worrying about my health and checking with doctor all the time

i don’t want to do my compulsions. I feel like if I don’t somebody will get hurt, sick or die. It’s a very scary thought to feel like if I don’t do my compulsions it will be my fault even though it isn’t & nor will it happen. I know it’s magical thinking & my thoughts are not true nor will they come true. it’s just im so tired of doing these compulsions. im so tired of feeling like I can stop something bad happening if I don’t step on this or touch this 4 times. it even got me believing that if I do something I want to do & love, something bad will happen. I just want to be able to live & feel like I use to. I hate ocd. how can I calm this down so I can be able to navigate in my own life?

Is anyone else on beta blockers (propranolol, metoprolol, ect.) and experiencing the weirdest and most visual dreams and nightmares? My GP has recently prescribed me bisoprolol since I asked him for beta blockers due my physical anxiety and as I recently started my A-Levels (“Abitur” in Germany) I really wanted to make sure that I do everything I can to prevent panic attacks. He only had bisoprolol in his office, and although I know that bisoprolol is usually only taken by patients with generally high blood pressure, we both agreed that I still try them first as he had nothing else available at the moment (I just love the shortage of medication). Although bisoprolol is quite different from propranolol (higher potency, therefore harder to dose, only blocking one receptor) it does seem to help at least a little bit, but the dreams I experience are actually insane. I dream almost immediately as I drift into sleep, even if I’m still half awake I feel like I already start dreaming. I frequently wake up because of it, though most of my dreams are not really “brutal” or morbid by any means, they all seem to center around my friend that I recently had a really bad argument-situation (don’t know how to explain it) with. So although I’m calm throughout the day, I constantly wake up in fear and total distress and I instantly start ruminating once I’m awake, but since I also happen to have a sleep disorder, I already don’t sleep the way I’m supposed to and my sleep schedule basically nonexistent. I really appreciate the medication in itself, but I do think that this whole dream situation is a side effect from bisoprolol since I never remember my dreams on the days on which I don’t take it. Does anyone experience something similar?

Guys I just wanted to hang up and I was looking at pornography every time I was you know do it and I would get bombarded with thoughts I'd get overwhelmed with them like my mind is just constantly thinking of and it was just so hard infuriating I was looking at like anime pornography and Isaw one of the videos that looks familiar I watched it before but I remember they had like a underage anime character and then I clicked off it as soon as I saw them and my mom said oh you clicked it just so you can see that and what makes it worse is like pretty ejaculation already leaked out so now it feels like I did it i didn't even jerk off to you all I did was see the thumbnail and then I have thoughts like saying oh well might as well already get off to it when it wasnt the content I wanted to see I seen that the thumbnail before in the sight I just ignored it was focusing on the video I wanted to see for now I feel like i have to restart everything not only with the overwhelming thoughts but also my thoughts made it feel like I was actively seeking it like if I want my thought it was like oh you knew it was going to be there but u still click it anyway oh yes I had a feeling but as soon as I saw it I clicked off I don't know I'm just overthinking I guess and also like as soon as I saw it like my mind had a urge like might aswell get off to it finish it very hard I don't even remember how I climaxed I don't even know if I did it right but now I feel like I have to restart

I know everyone has negatives but it’s like they’re the only thing I see with him. Even when I was anxious and felt like this I was still able to enjoy the good moments and feel love. There was so much about him that I would love like we are literally the same person and that is so rare to find. Now over time it’s gotten worse and worse. Like the more I see the bad the more I convince myself. Partly cause when I was with him those times I was analyzing everything that was bad. And my brain kept saying you can’t end up with someone like this. And it’s become so real. Now I feel nothing and it’s so scary like nothing at all. I feel like it’s my mind trying to protect me because I keep thinking that if I leave I can have relief and also not worry anymore but I don’t think that’s what I really want. It’s just hard because the negatives are definitely something that scare me like being irritable and hard to talk things out so I think somehow something is blocking me from letting me feel cause I’m afraid to stay? This sucks I don’t want to feel like this about him has anyone gone through this???? If I’m so anxious to feel will I ever let myself feel again???

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

i’ve been seeing the same therapist for over two years now. she does not specialize in ocd and i often find myself too afraid to talk about it with her. it’s not necessarily her fault, but i feel like ive reached a point with her where she feels more like a friend than a therapist. i know that isn’t good and i should not feel that way. she is a very very kind person but i also feel like she doesn’t fully listen to me sometimes. we talk more about our day to day lives with one another rather than anxiety and worries at this point and i feel like i can’t suddenly reverse it? also, i’ve expressed certain thoughts with her that she has laughed at or has not taken very seriously. this has made me really upset in the past and makes me feel awkward and not listened to. i’ve mentioned these moments to friends and they think i should get a new therapist, but i feel so terrible because i am so used to her and i do like her as a person. i don’t really feel like ive been benefiting from therapy with her lately. again, we don’t really talk about ocd or anxiety which are my main issues. i want an ocd therapist so i can actually seek help but i can’t find one in person. i’ve considered doing it through this app but im not a big fan of online therapy as i find it uncomfortable and awkward. i’m willing to try tho. anyone have tips on how to “end things” with my therapist? i’d rather not, but i know i need to prioritize my mental health over making her feel bad. and if anything, im sure she’d understand. i just feel bad

Hi all, I am in need of any advice/help I can get. Over the past year or so, I have gotten a good handle on my OCD. I even achieved OCD conqueror status with the help of my provider through NOCD! For awhile, I was doing really well. Unfortunately, during March/April I experienced some really bad triggers and overall, my OCD has ramped way back up. Recently, I have been hyperfixated on time and my perception of time. I am not sure what triggered it but now I am constantly checking the clock. I am scared that the days are fading away and there is a ticking clock I can't stop. Has anyone experienced this? Is there a way to stop this feeling of doom?

So I have harm ocd for sure and I get triggered by some m1rder cases like for some reason my brain gets latched to them and the perpetrators my brain goes ‘what if they’d find you attractive’ ‘would you be one of their victims’ and it feels like they’re watching me, if that makes sense, like they’re watching me, is this a symptom of any type of OCD? Please no judgement I’m super scared and I hate that my brain does this

When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.

I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.

Often I listen to podcasts or audiobooks. Sometimes fiction, sometimes about ocd or anxiety. I did this before i got so consumed with ocd again. But no i am doubting myself if i do this to distract myself. I do it while doing chores or when I put on my make-up for example. And I have to admit it helps me to get distracted from my thoughts. How do you know when you do it to distract your thoughts (as a compulsion) or just because you like it? When do you know it is helpfull or not?

I keep getting thoughts of this 6 year old kid n I don’t know what to do, they keep coming and they give me a sense of attraction, I don’t wanna be attracted to kids, it feels too real as well, I feel a need to check if I was attracted or not constantly, and it genuinely feels like attraction, please help me I don’t wanna be a pedo. Whenever I try to think abt something romantic or about someone my age I’m actually into, that kid keeps popping up.

I have gotten maybe about 8 EKG’s within the lest 2 years? I’ve also gotten an echo done, and I got a heart monitor to track my heart over the course of maybe 2 weeks, back last year. Even though I have been to the emergency room so many times because of panic attacks that I thought were heart attacks, and went with a Cardiologist I still obsess and worry. I always think that I am going to develop some kind of heart problem after getting the tests done. Like if they’re just suddenly going to appear/my heart will suddenly have an issue. I especially get nervous when the pain is in the center of my chest + I get a tight feeling like I have pressure on my chest and can’t breathe completely. Please someone share their experience of how they controlled their health anxiety, especially if it’s related to this.

i’ve been doing okay lately. but then tonight, my stomach started hurting and obviously that set off an anxiety spiral for my emetaphobia. and it went on for about an hour or so when i started feeling better and being more rational with myself. then all of a sudden, i’m hit with a second wave because my stomach started hurting again that i’m still going through. i’ve been having second waves of anxiety recently when i get anxiety attacks and they’re probably worse than the initial hit because i start to think “oh wait, maybe i am sick.” and i’m still not out of it and i’m currently terrified. i know the anxiety is making my stomach worse, but i cannot calm myself down when it hits. so i have an ice pack on my neck, heating pad on my stomach, turned my lights off, turned my fan on and have my tv on for background. i’m trying my best not to take a zofran but it’s getting hard