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As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻

As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻

Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.

I think I should definitely delete Roblox it’s triggering me I’m feeling weird about it because why would I check to see if they’re male and get a sense of happiness or would want to interact with males or like if they friend me it feels like I would get their number or if I friended them this sounds like P*do I don’t know their age but still Roblox is for kids so I assume they are and I’m being a p for wanting to play with little boys or messing around with them I’m scared that this will definitely make me a p**dator in the future I think I need to delete the app I don’t want exposure from it anymore

I haven’t done a Q&A in over a year (my bad) but I used to do these at least once a month. Work is slow today, so please send me any questions you have about OCD and I’ll answer them as best as I can. A little about me: I’ve been subclinical/recovered for going on 5 years and I’ve been on this app volunteering since 2019 in an unofficial capacity—I’m not connected to the NOCD team, so I don’t have any badges. I did ERP treatment with my therapist in-person while I was also being treated for PTSD. I have OCD, PTSD, ADHD, depression, GAD, social anxiety, driving anxiety, and a few speech impediments.

I think these are the worst real events ive ever done... and Im so triggered because the last thing I want is to be a a P or a MAP... im triggered because I dont want the people ive become friends with on NOCD to block me because they think im a P or a MAP... thats the last thing I want... When I was 18, i unknowingly consumed l*licon a couple times... I didnt know what the term was at the time... I thought that since it was on a public site, and it had millions of views, that i thought it was safe to consume... when I did my research when I was 19 onto what exactly the term was... I was horrified and mortified... I puked and gagged and felt numb for days... it's been 5 years since then... im 23... and the last thing I want is to ever be exposed to this kind of content ever again... let alone consume it... I should've been more knowledgeable and it's my fault... my pocd and real events ocd call me a P and a MAP when these are the LAST things i want to be... I know what I did was wrong and I regret it immensely till this day... and im so overwhelmed...

I had a migraine a little over a week ago after a few months of tremendous stress and anxiety. For a few days I was okay apart from a mild headache but then i got it into my head that I have a brain tumour. Yesterday I had the worst panic attack ever caused by all this overthinking. I started getting really dizzy, numb face and arm and I was convinced I had been correct and did have a brain tumour. The panic attack subsided after I calmed myself down a little bit but I am so anxious that I have a brain tumour. The numb feeling disappeared after the panic attack. But i have a dull headache, had a twitchy eye sometimes, and neck twitches. Sometimes when I really think about it I feel like I can’t focus or keep my vision straight. I can’t stop panicking about it I’m really really scared that there’s something wrong with me. I’m gonna go to the doctors to ask about it but i just needed to vent. I feel like recently I’m spending all the time thinking I have a brain tumour and it is honestly terrifying me so much.

Hi everyone, I’m really struggling lately and wanted to ask if anyone relates. I’ve been dealing with relationship OCD and possibly sexuality OCD, and things feel very overwhelming right now. I’m in my last year of university, studying something I don’t care about and never wanted to work in — I’m only finishing it because of pressure from my parents. I feel totally lost about what I want to do with my life, and the pressure to find a job is intense, especially since my girlfriend (we’re long-distance, and she’s also my fiancée) is working and everyone around me seems to have it figured out. Every time I look at jobs or go to interviews, I get hit with anxiety. A huge part of it is fear: “What if I fall for someone at work? What if a guy looks at me and I start questioning my sexuality again? What if I’m not a lesbian at all and I’m just pretending?” I also obsess over my feelings for my girlfriend — “Do I really love her? What if we’re not meant to be? What if I don’t care about her as much as I should?” These thoughts are intrusive and exhausting, but they feel so real. Even during good moments with her, I question everything: “Do I enjoy this? Do I really want this? Why don’t we have as much to talk about?” Then I panic when I don’t feel “enough.” I’ve also started to feel distant, and she’s noticed — she’s mentioned that I’m not as flirty or close as I used to be. That makes me feel even worse. To top it off, I have magical thinking issues — my therapist told me to avoid tarot, numbers, predictions — but recently my best friend joked about reading tarot for my relationship, and that triggered a spiral I haven’t escaped from for days. I’m also judging myself constantly: “Why did I text my best friend before my girlfriend? Does that mean I don’t care anymore?” Even when I do things that feel natural, OCD throws doubt at me. I haven’t been in therapy for a month and I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m trying to live like I don’t have OCD, but it’s so hard. I know some of this is probably OCD… but it feels so real. If anyone can relate or offer some perspective, I would be so grateful.

I think I’m in the recovery stage as my thoughts have settled so much & I only get intrusive thoughts on occasion and get worse only when I’m anxious, but the quietness in my brain feels so weird & I feel awful saying that because all I wanted was the thoughts to stop. This is the most quiet it’s been it’s over 7 months, so to go from non stop thoughts for a long time to quietness I don’t know how to take it. Has anyone else felt like this in recovery

Pls help.

17f So basically I think you know this whole accept and sit with the uncertainty thing. It applies to pocd as well. Because you can ruminate, test yourself, seek reassurance as much as you want but it will never be enough for you brain to be sure you are not a P. So you need to sit with "Maybe I am a P maybe not" and just don't do anything about it. So sometimes I can do that. But here comes moral ocd. If I accept the chanse of me being a pedophile, isn't it morally wrong for me to be around children? Look at children? Watch movies with children in it? Cause now I can't even look at children even if it was an accident without freaking out and thinking that I'm a monster. Sometimes it feels morally wrong to leave the house because there is a chanse I can meet a child on the street I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels paralyzing at this point. Seems like I can't do anything. Like I even need to cover children on the screen with my hand when I watch a movie. It's exhausting.

It becomes so difficult when you don't know what to do when you are feeling extremely irritated and frustrated and cannot communicate with others as they might feel disgusted. Nothing seems helpful.

I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.

I pleasured myself to my intrusive thoughts while I was high as a teen and it felt so real like I genuinely wanted it and leaned into it, it genuinely felt like I enjoyed it and desired it but I’m not sure if I misinterpreted a groinal response and false arousal for desire and did it I don’t even want that stuff in reality nor do I seek it out but I feel like it stains me forever and I cannot be loved or accepted or be a normal human anymore and that my life is over, I don’t know what to do, it felt like it was automatic and it all just happened and then I “snapped back” into reality once it was done and it all hit me like a truck. Does anyone else know if this is a thing or if they’ve had similar experiences? Please help me it feels like I’m dying here. I want to die

I’m 19 and struggle with health anxiety, contamination, harm, and magical thinking OCD and would love to meet people with similar experiences and hardships because I have never had an opportunity for such a supportive community!

A reflection I never saw myself being able to write✨ One year ago today, I was spiraling for a second time because I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, again. Getting through it once was doable but twice? I truly thought I was losing my mind. OCD wasn’t just a shadow in the background — it was a loud, relentless voice narrating fear, doubt, and compulsions into every corner of my life. I couldn’t trust my thoughts, couldn’t rest in silence. I was questioning everything. I was exhausted coasting through the motions of life trying to survive every minute of every day. But today — I’m here. Still imperfect, still human, but finally free in a way I didn’t think was possible. I got here by learning the hardest, most empowering lesson of my life: I had to stop depending on anyone else to pull me out. I had to stop outsourcing my safety, my certainty, my worth. I had to become the person I could rely on — not in a cold, lonely way, but in the most solid, liberating way possible. You see, healing didn’t come when others gave me reassurance — it came when I stopped needing it. When I realized no one could fight the war in my mind for me. It had to be me. Not because others didn’t care — but because I had to be the one to stop running from fear. I had to choose courage over comfort, again and again. And boy was that rough. But I did. Through therapy, I retrained my brain. (Shout out to Casey Knight🙏🏼) I stopped dancing to OCD’s obsessive rhythm and started rewriting the song. And yeah — the beat dropped a few times. But I kept moving forward. Slowly, I started turning my mind into a place I wanted to live in. I made it beautiful. Not by forcing positive thoughts, but by planting seeds of truth: 🌱 Not every thought deserves attention. 🌱 Discomfort doesn’t mean danger. 🌱 Uncertainty is not the enemy — it’s just part of being alive. I started treating my mind like a garden instead of a battlefield. I let go of perfection and started watering what was real, what was kind, what was mine. And let’s be honest — there were still a few weeds. (Hello, OCD — always trying to “check in.” ) Because healing isn’t linear, I still have days where I feel back to square one, but it’s a day, not a week, month, or another year of surrendering. But here’s the “punny” truth: OCD tried to check me, but I checked myself — with compassion, courage, & a whole lot of practice. To anyone still caught in the spiral — I want you to know: you are not broken. You don’t need to wait for someone else to save you. No else will. The strength you’re looking for? It’s already in you. It might be buried under fear, doubt, and rumination, but it’s there — patient and unbreakable. Start small. Start scared. Just start. Because when you stop relying on the world to reassure you, and start trusting your own ability to face uncertainty, you get something even better than comfort — you get freedom, resilience, power & SO much more. You don’t have to control every thought/urge to have a beautiful mind. You just have to stop believing every thought/urge is the truth. You don’t have to be fearless , you just have to act in spite of fear. You are not crazy You are not a monster You are not evil You are human You are capable And if OCD ever tries to take over again, just smile and say, “Nice try. But not today.” — Someone who came back to life, one brave thought at a time 🧡

Hi all. It is my first week on here and I don’t think I was anticipating how broken I would feel when I started this process. I hope I can do this, but I have been at listening to these obsessions about my health for 30 of my 45 years on the planet. I thought I had things more together, but this year has been real bad for so many reasons and my cracks are really showing. I am not sure what my question is..maybe I just need to know people have come back from where I am.

17f My ocd is hell on earth so I'm thinking about going to a psychiatrist maybe they will prescribe me meds cause my POCD is a torture and other themes are bad also But I'm scared that if I start taking meds I will become less cautions about looking at kids and interacting with kids and will do something fucked up and wrong Cause now I can't even look at kids I feel like it's morally wrong like if there is a chanse I'm a P and I'm scared meds will get rid of me being so so cautious around kids making sure I'm not aroused I'm not looking at them I'm not touching them and I will do something fucked up and then I won't deserve any redemption

Hello all, I just found out about this app! I’m pretty sure I have OCD, but also not sure. I’d line to discover more about to and hear what other experiences are.

Just trying to stay off here as much as I can! Hope you are all doing well.