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working to conquer OCD
About a week ago I was walking my dog in this quiet and secluded neighborhood that we always walk in. We never run into trouble. However, on this particular day a chihuahua bolted out of a car that had just pulled into a driveway and immediately started barking and biting at my dogās feet. For context, I have a 2 year old golden doodle. Sheās a medium sized dog and is about 80+ lbs. Sheās friendly, isnāt aggressive, and is very shy when befriending other dogs. She was ambushed into having this interaction with this chihuahua thatās already starting off hostile so sheās doing anxious circles around me to get away from it. Iām using my foot to shoo it away, trying not to hurt it, as the owner is near me trying to grab it. The owner is taking too damn long to grab his dog so mine, who is a flight rather than a fight, tries to run a bit to get away. Yāall im 5ā2 and around 100lbs idk. So when she yanks the leash forward, my upper body goes forward too. My hoodie goes over my eyes and I canāt see where sheās taking me for a moment. I manage to stand up straight and the owner is able to get his dog. My adrenaline was so high that it wasnāt until after the interaction I noticed two of my fake nails had ripped off my fingers and one was bleeding. She is fine as she has a thick coat and has no wounds. She was just stressed and confused. Iāve been monitoring her behavior and sheās still my happy girl ^v^. After this experience I was in my head about what I couldāve done better, what I shouldāve done instead, and how Iāll be able to defend her if (god forbid) it happens again. It all unfolded so fast and unexpectedly that I got tunnel vision and blacked out on what to do. I try to walk her at least once a day so we both just get our legs moving and enjoy the outdoors beyond our yard that she enjoys laying and people watching on teehee. So I still want to walk her, I just wonder what measures I could take to defend her. After what happened i learned to not restrain my strength when it comes to being aggressive back if a dog wonāt back down. Sheās a sensitive dog so Iām going to try my hardest to be her strength if that ever happens again. Any suggestions?
20+ only please I think I am a p because I am awake with my eyes closed and Iām thinking of a girl I use to know in middle school and we are having relations and Iām turned on and I felt like Masterb##### too Iām not sure if I intentionally thought it or it was an intrusive dream I was checking also
a few months ago, as a teenager (19) i was in a weird fwb with someone who was 28-29. there was a situation where i couldve coerced them into something. not outright, but like a gray area in terms of pushing boundaries because i misread the situation as teasing or needing to prove myself in a sxual manner. i did express to the person throughout the whole interaction how i was worried i was making them uncomfortable, eventually they told me they didnāt feel coerced or assaulted but they did not want to do it at first and they felt āseducedā or like they āgave inā. we both wanted to please each other but didnāt want the other to please one another if that makes sense. when the actual act happened it was on his terms and he gave the okay for it to happen, but what led up to it was me still asking even though he said no cause he was sweaty after the gym. me and this person no longer speak but i just got reminded of the situation and i dont really know how to move on without drowning in shame or avoiding accountability. i donāt really feel like i want reassurance just maybe advice .
I was just like, playing Roblox, and I hid in the same corner as this guy with a skin all in the color of his skin, and he left, but then he came back and seemed like he was harassing me, like, walking back and forth, but I'm pretty sure he wanted me to get out because I left and he just went back to the corner, but OCD is telling me someone harassed me in the game and it's making me nervous.
Recently, I had a thought in my head, what if my daughter got mixed up in the maternity hospital and supposedly it's not my daughter? You have no idea how much my heart broke from worries and fear. I love my daughter madly and such thoughts hurt me. If I could control other thoughts, cope with them myself, I couldn't handle this one. I started crying right in front of my husband from anxiety and from a panic attack. I went to my mother abroad for fear of recovering, I got a little distracted, came to my senses, then I came to my home. Everything was fine, I was absolutely happy in my family as always. But today this thought came to my mind again and I've been anxious since morning. I don't want to burst into tears again and tell this to my husband. My daughter is my photocopy, she definitely looks like me, after giving birth she was immediately brought to me, all the tags matched, they had my name on them, there are even photos and tags I keep. But how am I going to live with this obsessive thought? I don't know how to get rid of it (it's the worst thing that could have happened. I've had ocd for a long time, and there were different topics, but this one is the most terrible. What is more, I'm pregnant now and I can't be stressed. Help, what should I do and how can I prove to my brain that it's all nonsense?
It's a damn shame that those instruments are good for studying as it creates flashcards of subjects and explain stuff you dont understand very well... but upon reading how they're relying on cobalt mining in congo it feels iffy, like Google is involved in a case with child labor in Congo, as well as chatGPT as they all rely on cobalt. I really want to use it to enter in university but i'm torn from the moral side. It's not like if i stop anything is gonna change, the rise of AI is inevitable. i don't know if i should sacrifice a part of my conscience so that i enter in the university and i can help people afterwards to atone.
I feel as though I have struggled with hypersexuality and p*rn addiction for years or my life due to maladaptive coping with anxiety and childhood s*xual trauma that I havenāt necessarily worked through. Every time I ārelapseā per se, when Iām extremely anxious and I suppose need a little dopamine and oxytocin boost - some serotonergic action in my brain, I will engage with rather s*xual or er*tic material and I always describe it as āthe bad thingā because I feel I will be punished by God for turning back to this sinful behavior. I recognize itās bad and I feel I am punished every time. Like every time it happens, something goes wrong, in my body, in my life, like my luck turns rotten and my health to shit and I canāt stop but think⦠is it really irrational hyper religious thinking or are these genuinely ācoincidentalā occurrences actually a sign from God? Like am I being told to stop? Itās from the universe to protect me and guide me back to the right path and I need to be punished as a reminder? I am scared because I am God fearing and I donāt want to burn in hell for my sins not continue to sin but I feel itās hard to control sometimes and Iām tired of being punished. Anyone else have a similar experience?
My therapist has rightly nailed the deeper issue I'm having. My OCD centers around feeling like I'm being rejected by God. I feel like maybe God told me to marry someone else and I didn't listen in marrying my husband (who is supportive and kind). And since I didn't listen, I'm no longer accepted by God. It's when I get to this deeper issue that I am stuck in my OCD. My therapist said I might want to be okay with being uncertain about my beliefs. It's do hard to get to this issue. I know my ROCD with my husband might resolve if I can be okay with my ROCD a with God, but I feel so condemned that I avoid looking at that aspect at all cost. It's too much for me. I don't know if any of you have felt this and how you were able to lean into the uncertainty that you might not be able to live with God or your family for eternity.
What if you did something so extremely disgusting, awful and horrible as a child but you didnāt know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were genuinely extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and vomit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 13 or 14... I cant remember... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all⦠I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i donāt ever want to ever be a rpist at all⦠I was either 13 or 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 24... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...Ā I didnāt realize how horrible the real events actually were⦠I was either 13 or 14 at the time⦠now Iām 24⦠my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events⦠while my mom reassures me all the time that itās all over, that itās not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that Iām not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someoneās similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they neededĀ to turn themselves in⦠I donāt ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form⦠i didnāt know how horrible the real events were when I was either 13 or 14⦠I really didnāt⦠and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids⦠I was either 13 or 14 and didnāt realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again⦠I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event⦠I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future⦠I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I cant remember if i was 13 or 14ā¦.. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kidsā¦Ā I was 13-14 and didnāt realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again⦠I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event⦠And itās comparing me to actual Pās and chomoās who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think Iām a P and a Chomo because of it⦠I donāt ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any wayā¦Ā ššš I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was also extremely horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible... (edited)
long story short my mom yelled at me today because my grandma allowed me to pay anything I needed on her card. I had a medical debt of 272 dollars that I payed with her card. She went to the bank and wasnāt sure the cost and she called me asking was it a charge i made. I explained that it was an accident charge and they will pay her back. I said this instead to cover the fact that I did use her card I was afraid to tell her. I know what I did was wrong even if she offered me her card. My mom yelled at me saying how can I do that and I shouldnāt ask her for money anymore. I even offered to take out my emergency savings to pay her back and my mom refused saying the damage I did was done that my grandmas account was overdrawn. I never ask for money unless I need to from my family because they complain. I am a college student out of state and I am almost done finishing school but I feel alone sometimes because I just wish I had a family that cares about me. That would at least send me 20 dollars for gas weekly. Growing up I always was alone and had the responsibility of taking care of everyone in my family and I did it from my heart even though I knew they were using me. I would overwork myself just because I wanted to be loved. I guess what Iām trying to say is now since all this happened. What will I do? I am a full time college student and I have to pay for gas and food. Also I have weekly medication because I am hypoglycemic. My heart aches because I just want to be loved by a parent that cares about their child. My family has never loved me they just use me and it hurts. I feel like the pain in my heart over the years of family trauma just grows and grows. All I want is to be loved by a family and I never experienced that being the oldest daughter who lost their childhood being a parent at a young age. I want a hug from a loving parent a āyou are doing greatā. Just parents that donāt complain about helping their daughter. Now Iām just laying in bed trying to be nice to myself because I made a mistake. I blame myself for trusting them because I know how my family is. After my mom yelled at me she asked me if I need money and I said no. If worst comes to worst I will try to work again itās just about finding time.
Iāve been diagnosed with OCD for like 10 years now and it was always pretty minor compulsions and thoughts. Around a year ago I had my first panic attack stemming from my left arm hurting and then thinking I would have a heart attack. Ever since that night Iāve had extreme ocd about symptoms and health issues. It feels like an endless cycle with my anxiety causing physical symptoms and then me obsessing over them. I canāt even get a headache anymore without thinking Iām gonna have an aneurism or something. I just want to re-gain control bc this is taking over my life and I remember what my life was like before this and miss it
Hi everyone I wanted to know if it legal for someone for prohibiting me from joining activities due to my mental disability which is āADHDā. This is what was said to me in an email. i have adhd and my pastor said these 3 problems are an issue in the church. (Your situation limits your ability to control behavior. Your response to external assistance or limits is consistently to reject or work around them. Your perspective is confined to your own experience of a situation.)
I have scrupulosity and itās impacting my Christian faith. I do study the Bible but I am taking a break so as not to trigger it too much, but my Christianity is important and I want to study it and how do I do so without triggering that? My trigger is mainly on heaven & hell, so my plan was to study something else other than that.
My psychiatrist is tired of my reassurance seeking too but I feel like a wanted criminal either I did something in my sleep or he did and Iām scared because what happened was I asleep???? I canāt live with the uncertainty because I may be a R Sometimes I feel like a p with Pocd I ask him and he says I never did anything but what if heās lying because sometimes Iām suspicious of him
Happy Friday! It's time for Weekly Wins. Whether you took a step out of your comfort zone, stood up to OCD, or asked for help when you needed it, we want to hear about it all. Drop your wins in the comments!
She has seen so many doctoes, ocd specialist psychologists and psychiatrists, been in a mental health facility, been to hospital and no one has been able to help. Tried lots of different meds but none are helping. It's ruining her life. I dont know what to do. We've tried everything but she is getting worse. Any ideas?
Hello everyone! I am new to this platform and hoping to engage with some people who have maybe conquered this subtype or are currently battling with this. Before I start, I just want to say that I am a firm believer that there is so much hope with this illness and I do believe that OCD can be cured or at least very well managed. I am actively struggling with OCD and compulsions everyday, but through the healing power of Jesus and ERP I am certain that better days are ahead. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 11 years old, heavily dealing with contamination OCD that was rooted in deep shame. Breaks my heart that as an 11 year old I felt these things about myself. Through the help of my CBT therapy and Fluoxetine, my OCD was extremely well managed. Of course, some thoughts would occasionally emerge, but they never became all-consuming and I was pretty much always able to shrug them off. When I went to college, OCD began to become more prominent in my life, still rooted in shame, but manifested in pure-O OCD. I was able to find a therapist who helped me, and again the OCD became less prominent. Iād occasionally have episodes that would last a week, but I was always able to resume normal life. Itās also so important that I mention that at this time in my life, I was increasingly growing in my Christian faith. Christ delivered me from so many panic attacks, shameful thinking, and extreme anxiety. It was through Him I found my strength to fight against the heavy burden of OCD and reclaim my life. For two years after college, I worked as a nurse in the hospital. Constantly exposed to the things that used to make me so afraid and not even batting an eye. Of course, there were some times the intrusive thoughts came, and even times when I gave in to compulsions, but again, OCD was not ruling my life or affecting me in any major way. Life was good. About 3 months ago, my husband and I made a major move to Europe for him to pursue his career. At this time, I was also completely weaned off my medication which I did with my PCP over the course of 9 months (ALWAYS wean with the help of a doctor!!). Unfortunately, my OCD has been rampant for the last month. Struggling with fears surrounding fecal matter and defecating. All things that I was constantly exposed to in the hospital, and now that I am not working, grip me with so much fear and panic over things spreading. Being a nurse, my anxiety is not rooted in the fear of spreading germs or getting my husband or myself sick as I know microscopic levels of poop donāt get people sick in any meaningful way. The anxiety is mostly rooted in deep disgust and deep fear of that disgust spreading. I started ERP therapy again and my medication has been reordered. Things have been getting better, but some days have been really really hard. Iām trusting that God is using this time to refine and redefine my heart and instill dependence on Him to keep me safe. I wanted to offer some encouragement for anyone struggling with this. Youāre not alone, this doesnāt make you āweirdā, this is a illness meant to steal joy and peace and we simply must declare that OCD will not have this power over us. Would love to hear of anyoneās struggles with this. Better days are ahead š©µ
Iām scared, I have mild rectal bleeding, less than a drop of blood per week, dr said its internal hemorrhoids since I have no other symptoms, but suggested a colonoscopy just in case I am terrified, I need to know that Iām safe and healthy, but Iām too scared of having a colonoscopy, I donāt want to be put to sleep by a man, performed on in a room with a man (I canāt get all female employees they wonāt change the schedule) Iām terrified of being unconscious without my mom to watch me, they wonāt allow it to be recorded so that I can make sure Iām safe after the fact? How the fuck am I supposed to feel safe if Iām unconscious for hours without my mom or a video camera so I know what happens to me? What if something bad happens to me when Iām asleep,,, what if they donāt do the anesthesia right and I wake up but canāt move, what if the anesthesia permanently alters me? Iām too scared Iām too scared
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life