Welcome to
the NOCD Community

1. Should I quit my job as a teacher and report myself somewhere. 2. Try to handle this as an OCD. I really don’t know.

Hello, I am currently taking 50mg of Zoloft daily and have been for the last 2 weeks. I will be upping to a much higher dose in the future but am wondering if anyone prescribed this has noticed improvements with ocd symptoms, im trying to have hope but I’ve heard bad story’s with Zoloft and have been obsessing over if it will harm me more than good.

I know that the only solution to OCD is to stop the loop by stopping the compulsion. However I have pur O OCD and I want with all my soul, all my being, all my will, to stop doing what is keeping up the loop. But I have no idea of what compulsion is keeping this going ? All I know is that once I remember "I will die one day. And everyone will die one day" it is over, my mind is going to torture me every single second with thoughts about it and that I am going to have horrible anxiety every single second to the point of literal torture for a whole entire year with no break.

Hi to everyone, I want to share with you my actual situation. I'm 26 and I've been diagnosed OCD 2 years ago. Now I'm doing therapy once a week and I'm starting ERP but I'm still struggling. It seems to me that I'm not reaching anything in life... I'm an aspiring tattoer, but I'm extremely afraid to apply as an apprentice in a shop; I mean that I worry about what could happen and so the anxiety increases till nervous breakdown. I also have many intrusive thoughts about another tattoo I would like to do and for this reason I'm avoiding it. Theese fears makes me question about my identity till crisis. I still live with my mother and I work only 3 days per week: I'm really ashamed of it. I feel so isolated and blocked.. Depression is another issue and my mom doesn't tolerate it; so she repeats to me that I have to find another job to feel better. I don't like my self and I hate how I'm living... I hope I don't disturb anyone. I'm not seeking reassurences; I'd just like to read your opinion.

When I was 16/17, I was addicted to nude content. One day I wanted to find content that was my age, so I went into some discord server I found online. What I saw in there was the most horrible stuff I ever saw. Years later, I cry almost everyday because of it, and can't move past it. It is eating me alive. I would give my both two arms to have the ability to go back into the past and never make that mistake. Can I forgive myself?

I can't anymore! The anxiety is so bad my hands are trembling and I felt like throwing up. I feel like i admitted something. I felt like I agreed! Me and my fam member were gonna share a soda. I dont normally drink soda, so my fam member was excited and happy. I got a random thought that said that this thought is like when people withhold doing the deed with their partners and that she was acting like an excited bf and that i was basically acting like that with her but in terms of sharing soda. I felt anxiety in my gut but it felt confusing. I was about to say no like normal but then I voluntarily said "yknow what? I like it. Im going to think this in the future and ima miss the thoughts" idk why I said that but i think i meant it but something made me feel uneasy and like my stomach was still hurting from anxiety... but I rmemeber i was questioning the anxiety in my gut bc I thought that it was pleasure. I was confused about it and said that. But I felt like I said something wrong. And literally moments later I regretted having said that and started to spiral especially when ocd said I sexualized them and wanted to keep sexualizing her. I have been spiraling for 6 hours nonstop! And im trembling rn and I was crying. I had a panic attack. Is this still ocd?! Did I sexualize her???

Sometimes I feel incredibly sad and lonely. That I can never speak about the things I’m struggling with. I’m scared to be judged. Scared that people won’t believe in me and tell me what I’ve gone through isn’t that serious or important. I can’t just “suck it up and move on”, that’s not who I am and never going to be me. I just what there was someone that I really could be 100% honest with. Even my closest friends will never be close enough, I’ll always be hiding a part of myself. I am never fully me, and I’m not sure that I want to be, just don’t know how much longer I can put on a mask before I begin to let it all spill out. OCD has ruined me. My entire life, could’ve been so different if I didn’t feel so sick in the head. My relationships. My achievements. Everything. I’m tired of it all. I want to be normal but I’m not. I’m just upset.

Adults only I have a very bad porn addiction and I relapsed to ai generated content of celebrities and I've been looking up so many things about the legality of it and there are posts saying it's both legal and illegal and I can't forgive myself for having this go this far. When I was a teenager sexual photoshopped pictures and gifs exist and I watched a lot of those thinking it was okay but I don't think it was okay now. I think I've really messed up and I feel like an absolute disgusting monster. I've even seen this be done in wrestling games and for some dumb reason it didn't bother me The laws are so confusing I just don't know what to believe but the point is I feel so much shame and distraught over this awful addiction. Apparently deepfakes are legal under the first amendment as long as they aren't spread for misinformation. I just don't know but I also no longer want sex in my life I know there's a stretch but all it's ever done is make my life worse and worse A lot of people say it's legal to keep to yourself but illegal and very back to distribute but I've never ever tried to create this stuff using real people, I've only tried once using a fictional character who is middle aged Then I read there was a law only criminalizing uploading, creating, and sharing ai generated celebrity content but not exactly the viewing

i feel like i am or have been experiencing ocd in ways that are almost like rare or in ways that i feel like i can never explained or be understood 😔 if i maybe have another underlying issue or anything 😔

Hey everyone I’m looking for advice/ support from anyone else who may be going through or experienced something similar. This may be a long post so thank you to whoever actually reads it all x So recently (a few months ago) I started looking into OCD as I learnt what it really was, and a lot of it resonated with me. An example is when I was younger I struggled a lot with obsessing over god and became extremely religious at the age of 7 leading to extreme praying every night and feeling this immense weight of being a good person and I needed to pray to make sure I was. I don’t struggle with this anymore but as I have looked more into OCD there is so many things I experience that I have thought are normal or just my anxiety or ADHD. I regularly cancel out my horrific intrusive thoughts with ‘good’ thoughts to make sure I’m not a terrible person and I want to do or think those things. I have an extreme obsession with being a good and morally right person, so much so that I have had to quit my job (I am still in school) as I was so terrified that if I went I would say or do something and people would view me as a bad person. The same thing happened at school, I barely ever went and if I did it was usually after a panic attack. This was also caused by feeling like if I went something bad would happen to my family at home and I would be responsible because I wasn’t there. Every night I have to ruminate and step through every thing I may have said or done that could make me a bad person and it usually ends it lots of ‘what ifs’ or ‘maybe i did something terrible and i just forgot’. I have tried opening up to my mum (i am only 16) and i had a therapist who specialised in OCD for a few sessions but it was online and i hated it. It is so clear to me that my mum doesn’t think I have it. Every behaviour that i say could be OCD she always says it could just be ADHD which just sends me into a further spiral of ‘i am a bad person because im lying and i dont really have OCD’ so now I can’t talk to anyone about it over this constant thought that i am lying. Even when I was 7 at a psychologist they said I had OCD tendencies but she brushed it off as my anxiety. She tells me she doesn’t know enough about it to understand why I think I have it but she’s not doing anything to learn more. I have sent her numerous articles and things I resonate with but she never reads them. Even with the OCD therapist we did a assessment/ form thing where I filled out how much I related to the OCD symptoms and my mum did one how much she thought I related to them. I scored super high on it for OCD symptoms and she literally said she didn’t think I related to more than one or two. That led me to learn about pure O ocd as a lot of my compulsions are in my head or not seen. Some examples are repeating certain numbers or phrases to cancel out intrusive thoughts in my head, avoidance of events where I could do something wrong or bad, struggling making even the smallest decisions over fear it wont be the ‘right’ one, constant worry over if im not ‘perfect’ (perfect grades, morals, behaviours)that im not adhering to the invisible moral code that determines if im good, frantically googling for hours what my intrusive thoughts mean and if they are thoughts a bad person has, signs I am a bad person, am I a psychopath etc. Another thing that has been happening recently thats more visible is i absolutely HAVE to speak out if one of my family members says something that I see as mean or morally incorrect and its like this guilty by association thing and it makes me spiral as I feel that it is my responsibility to make sure that they are good people too (i know it sounds crazy). It has led to a big argument with my mum where she yelled at me for being too “self-righteous” and thinking im “better than everyone because i have morals and that everyone else who is worse than me” and that she is sick of my lectures about her being “too mean” or a “bad person”. Honestly i didnt even know how to react to that. I felt so guilty because I know I do that I know I know but I know the guilt will consume me either way. It is honestly consuming me and I just wish for a day where I’m not policing every thought and behaviour of mine. Sorry for that very long rant but hoping that someone can give their thoughts if they have gone through the same thing or have any advice for what to do ❤️❤️❤️

Was anyone's OCD triggered by a specific event? I keep replaying this one moment where I just suddenly stopped in my tracks at a comment. The day before this happened, I had a difficult conversation with my boyfriend -- it was on my mind, maybe I was already stressed which set off a 9-month long flare up? Before this, I was on top of the world with the best couple years of my life.

Hey y’all, I’m gearing up for the OCD Super Bowl for me aka thanksgiving and Christmas lol. I have a TON of ocd thoughts surrounding food especially when that food is cooked by other people. Combine that with the fact that the holidays line up with cold and flu season and it makes the perfect recipe for an OCD disaster for me. I really wish my brain wasn’t like this because I want to enjoy the holidays and spending time with family but all I want to do is lay in my bed in the dark. What is your guys’ “OCD Super Bowl”?

I’ve had a terrible time trying to fight the urge to confess things to my boyfriend. They are related to real events and in the past/beginning I messed up a lot in the relationship. I ended up confessing everything (way too much) and we got past it and I’ve been on different meds since to cope. I recently just got off pristiq and the urges to confess came back. Even small little things or something I feel that I did wrong in the relationship I feel the need to confess. If he doesn’t know I feel or what I did like I am hiding it. I also have the worst problems with making sure everything I say is absolutely true. It is exhausting and ruining my relationship. I feel constant guilt and can’t be myself around him. I am just feeling very hopeless..

I've been in ERP therapy with NOCD since September. I have had almost a month and a half of the best months that I have had over the past year. I also take Sertraline and have for a very long time (since my GAD) diagnosis. Once I received my OCD diagnosis, I did some research and learned that I was not on the correct dose used to manage OCD. It has been 11 days since my dose was increased. For the past 5 days my anxiety has increased, I've been rally tired and I have a sour stomach. I was feeling so discouraged especially since I had been feeling so much better. I have since learned that when initially starting or increasing the dosage of Sertraline, increased anxiety is a common side affect along with gastrointestinal upset and that these symptoms will gradually decrease as your body adjusts. I wanted to share this for anyone who may be feeling the same way with new or an increase of meds. I still feel discouraged because of the return of the anxiety, even if temporary. I just continue to work on my exposures daily and am looking forward to some relief soon. We can do this 💪🏽

It was making me think I was viewing my girlfriend as only a platonic friend and making it feel like it too... i like her romantically... and I want to be with her always... Its also making me feel like i'm not attracted to her when i am and always want to be... it makes it feel like i have no feelings for her at all... Its also giving me these "fantasies" in my head of what life would look like after we break up... i dont want to break up with her... Today i was at catholic mass and i teared up watching her sing and talking about how beautiful and amazing she was. it was making me feel like i physically didn't have feelings for her the whole time though... And now im with her and its making me feel like im not attracted to her... i want to be with her and i want to date this girl... so bad... but its making me feel like I'm not attracted to her and i hate it... when im cuddling theres a little bit attraction feeling in my stomach... but it was making me feel like I wasn't attracted when I was with her and her parents the whole time...

I’ve had OCD since childhood, and it’s shifted through a lot of different themes over the years. My earliest signs were contamination fears, fear of choking, appearance fears, and a general sense that something “bad” would happen if I didn’t do certain things the right way. Over time it evolved into health OCD, especially around skin, medications, and fears of weight gain or that something will harm me or make my symptoms worse. One of my biggest struggles is needing actions to feel “right.” If I click a button wrong, move the wrong way, or something doesn’t register properly, I feel a rush of anxiety and have to redo it over and over until it feels correct. Phones, apps, even games become stressful because one tiny “off” sensation can trigger a whole loop. I repeat words, song lyrics, little phrases, or facial movements until they feel right too, especially while showering, brushing my hair, doing makeup, or winding down at night. Before bed I have to repeat certain thoughts or phrases or I feel too anxious to lie down. I also over-focus on breathing, sweating, and small bodily sensations when I’m trying to do something, which makes the task feel harder. Socially, I freeze up because I feel like everything I say has to be perfectly phrased. I rehearse sentences in my head before speaking, which makes conversations feel exhausting. Sensory overwhelm is a huge part of my OCD. Sudden sounds, textures, or physical sensations instantly throw me off, make me tense up, or make me feel like whatever I was doing is “ruined.” Stepping on small objects, touching my hair wrong, or trying to get ready can push me into irritability or compulsions. When the sensory overload and OCD hit at the same time, it becomes almost impossible to do basic tasks like getting ready, focusing, or even moving around without feeling “wrong.” Stress, overstimulation, and OCD compulsions sometimes build up to emotional overload. I’ve had episodes where the “wrongness” sensation pushes me into panic, intense irritation, or crying spells — especially if I bump into something, step on something, or get interrupted during a compulsive moment. I’ve been working on it and these episodes are less frequent, but they still happen. I also deal with obsessive fears about contamination of food or products, and paranoia-like doubts that people might be upset with me or that something bad will happen if I don’t say or do certain things “right.” This leads to reassurance-seeking and compulsive apologizing. Right now, for example, I’m anxious because I keep slightly dropping my phone or holding it “wrong,” and it makes me feel like I have to redo things or avoid using it altogether. Overall, my OCD affects daily functioning — routines, focus, hygiene, eating, social interactions, and anything that requires fine motor movements or sensory tolerance. It’s exhausting, but I’m trying to get a clearer picture of it and connect with others who relate. (I might be autistic as well :))

So idk if it’s normal somedays im feeling the holiday spirit and some days i don’t I’ll keep it short and simple. I’ve been doing very well and i have my days where im worried about my low bp. Plus im taking bp meds apparently to calm the palpitations. So it’s probably the main reason why i feel it down but i feel discouraged that the bp is not getting better. That’s why i cant break the cycle of not checking sometimes case i want to make sure its not too low. Sometimes I just dont care and dont check at all and just have those days of laying in my bed. I think we all have those days. But I see progress i see healing i see life coming back to me. Ever since I was diagnosed with OCD it’s hard for me to somewhat get into the holiday spirit but I want to feel that feeling again so I’m looking forward to healing and seeing the positive side of me again 💜

I've been googling a lot lately, and realize I might have OCD. I've never been diagnosed with it, but I really think I have it. I was informed from here, that picking my skin can be a form of OCD. I often pick my lips, my fingers, my acne, and my scabs whenever I'm anxious or nervous. I know it's a mental problem, but it's getting to a point that I just can't take it anymore. I'm even picking at my scalp now, and always get nasty sores on it. My fingers and lips I still pick. But it isn't as bad as picking my acne, and scalp now. Does any one have any advice on what I can do to prevent it, or stop all together? It's so annoying at times. Medication doesn't work, and I can't afford to see a therapist right now. Thank you in advance.

Do any other Christians struggle with OCD thoughts that are like "how do I know God is the one true God? How do I know im believing in the right God? and how do I know im saved? How do I know im not faking it?" I keep trying to answer the thoughts with logic like "because Jesus is the only one that rose again etc" but it makes them worse and I worry im a fake Christian and not truly saved. Every day I struggle with fears of dying and going to hell cause I fear im not really believing and dont know how to know Im truly saved and how to know the God of the Bible is the right God to believe in. And I hate to just pawn it off as OCD only because its a pretty important thing to not be sure of. Please someone help

So I feel like I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster. I've been talking once again to the guy and today we discussed more serious things. He said he's overwhelmed and afraid of things because of his ptsd and it made me panic. We talked about intimacy because it's scary for both of us and we'll I thought he only been with 3 people max but he said he’s been with 6 people (all 3 years ago, all while very drunk, all experiences he hates and that left him with PTSD). My RJ brain heard “6” and exploded. I always knew I have a really hard line with “big” or “casual” pasts. I’ve always said I need someone with little-to-no experience because anything else makes me feel like I’m “late,” not special, just the “safe” choice after they’ve had everything they wanted. Even knowing his past was traumatic and unwanted, the number still feels unbearable. I cried for hours, felt disgusting, felt like I’m settling or being naive. He’s heartbroken that his past is hurting me. I’m heartbroken that I can’t just let it go. Logically I know: those 6 times gave him nothing he actually wanted he’s waited 3 years since the last one he’s literally telling me I’m his first person he feels happy around But my RJ keeps screaming “too many, too much, you’ll never be enough, you’ll always picture it, run before you get more attached.” I don’t want to lose him over a number. But right now the thought of intimacy with him makes me want to throw up because my brain won’t stop replaying that there were others. Has anyone with really strong “big past = dealbreaker” RJ ever managed to stay and work through it? How do you sit with the disgust and the images when the person is genuinely kind, regretful, and choosing you in a way they never chose anyone else? I feel like I’m fighting for my life against my own brain and I’m terrified of making the wrong choice. Please send any tools, scripts, mantras, or hope you have. I’m drowning a little tonight. Thanks for reading. ♡