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The guilt from my OCD is insane, sometimes I truly feel like I’m the worst person and I deserve death

Hi! Firstly thanks to everyone on this group, such a beautiful supportive network. I wrote earlier a few times but basically wanted some advice...so I’m a girl with HOCD so fear of being gay. And my wonderful therapist (who’s helping me with CBT/ ERP) is a female and she’s been amazing with help... and now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts about her (HOCD themes). Has anyone else encountered this? Is this normal ? And most importantly, so I persevere? Thanks again!

My counselor says she thinks I have ocd from what she knows so far. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that and I keep thinking about her face when she said it. I have spent hours researching it and I can’t sleep because all I want to do it know more about it. I google search on my phone and read article after article. Is this like an obsession? I don’t really get it. But I feel like I have to be the expert on ocd all of a sudden and I don’t know why.

POCD is the worst. It’s given me Four false crushes,and if I find a kid adorable, it says I’m attracted to them. I feel so weird. Not only because POCD is gross, but because I had a freak out that I was attracted to the yellow guy from don’t hug me I’m scared, because so thought he was cute ( not in that way), so I went to my friends and asked them if they thought he was cute and they were like “what”. This is really dumb

PLEASE HELP! I need some help/advice right now please! I’ve been sick for the past 4 months with adrenal fatigue, severe hormone imbalance, etc. For the past 2 days I have been having horrible racing thoughts about harming my children! Today I put my hand near my sons neck ( not on his neck) and I screamed out loud “ ILL NEVER HURT YOU”! Then I ran to the back of the house and started smacking myself in the face over and over because that was so terrifying and I never want to hurt him! Please is anyone dealing with this? What on earth does this mean! HELP ME

Hocd is so confusing and scary. I’m scared I wont be happy with a man.

To say I am am mentally and physically exhausted would be the biggest understatement of the century. Sorry in advance for the details. I just need a safe and understanding place to vent. I spent over two hours bathing yesterday. I burnt my skin with liquid nitrogen and then rubbed acid into my wounds as a contamination compulsion. I didn’t eat. I ran until I felt like I was going to drop unconscious. This illness is completely consuming me. I feel like I’m doing everything possible to get better and I’m only spiralling more and more out of control. What is the next step from here? I have mentioned before that inpatient is on the cards. It was considered last week but I thought I could manage at home. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I just don’t know how to communicate just how bad things have gotten. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. You all deserve it. d a i s y

Question about compulsions: Hi guys! I’m brand-new here and just uncovered this world of ROCD. This might sound silly, but I’m trying to figure out if your phone can be a compulsion? I find when I’m triggered or anxious with thoughts, I’ll spend hours cycling through social media, almost like I’m trying to distract myself or find an answer or look for a sign or comfort? It just makes me feel worse because literally hours will go by and I’ve done nothing and feel terrible. When I’m not particularity anxious, I can go hours without checking my phone and it’s no problem. Can this be a compulsion? Or am I just being lazy? Thanks!

I suffer with harm ocd still waiting on mental health referral my doctor had put me on diazepam but that’s only a short course witch I finished on three days ago n I feel that I could hurt someone I have to shut myself away how can I get these thoughts out off my head coz I don’t wanna rely on medication and I don’t no how long the mental health ppl are going to take I just can’t deal with it ??

I’m so scared. My OCD is getting worse and worse and I’m just contributing to it by doing compulsions at every turn. It’s a vicious cycle. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to dig myself out of this hole. I’m terrified of living, but I’m not ready to die. But, I’m even more terrified to push through with treatment. I don’t believe I’m strong enough, at least not right now. And never mind how bad my depression plays into all of this. I’ve expended every resource of support: therapy, medication, family, friends, pastor. I know it’s down to me, but I can’t do this. I feel so sick and that my mind won’t be able to handle it. I keep reading how people with OCD get to the point where they’ve had enough or hit “rock bottom” so to speak and push through. I think I hit “rock bottom” but I feel weaker then ever. Anyone been here and gone through treatment and made it out the other end? How on earth did you do it?

Can a celebrity obsession be linked to OCD? Never thought of it as a symptom, although it doesn’t hurt to ask

For the past 5 months the I have been suffering from adrenal fatigue which has caused me to have low progesterone levels, severe anxiety, panic attacks, morbid thoughts, racing thoughts, insomnia, fear, suicidal thoughts and recently thoughts of hurting my toddlers. After these thoughts of hurting them start I am discussed with myself, hit myself in the face and want to die because I love my children so much and I would never want to hurt them! Can anyone please help me who is in a similar situation!

Honestly the fact that I’m probably actually gay makes TOCD worse. Like, I know in theory that sexuality and gender identity necessarily aren’t connected. But being attracted girls seems mor nmasculine I guess? Plus I keep reading stories of people who first identified as lesbian and then came out as trans men. And my best friend came out as lesbian and then later as nonbinary. I know that doesn’t mean that applies to me but it makes the doubt so much worse and makes it feel more likely I’m trans because I’m (probably) gay or bi. I don’t know if my TOCD would feel as strong if I was straight. Idk it’s just really hard.

I am new to this, and really hope it helps. I have pretty severe driving OCD. It has definitely gotten progressively worse. Every bump in the road I hit, every bicyclist, every-time I have to drive on the highway I constantly worry that I hit someone or caused an accident. Some of the rituals I have been experiencing include driving around the “scene” multiple times, checking my rear view mirror (a lot), checking the local news to see if there were any accidents in the area. I have to have my husband confirm there is no damage on my car... it’s endless. To put it plainly, it is beyond exhausting. It’s also pretty lonely as the majority of people I tell have no clue or just look at me like I have 10 heads. If anyone else goes through this my heart is with you, it’s awful.

Does anyone here watch Chrissie Hodges? she’s a mental health advocate for OCD and specifically talks about pure o!

Ladies, when watching heterosexual porn do you find the girl arousing? I wouldn't have sex with a girl nor date one but the porn thing is what made my hocd relapse about 3 months ago and thats why I stopped watching it....

I feel uncomfortable when people notice me having to do a ritual to stop my OCD thoughts....

My OCD has really taken control of me this week.

I read books saying ‘no matter how we FEEL we should still get on with our day. Our day should never be about how we feel’ Then others saying ‘accept How you feel, don’t push it away, let the feelings be there. Allow yourself to feel every emotion.’ So, I’m sad and depressed and crying all day. What do I do? Cry all day and be there or make myself do things that I feel uncomfortable with. I’m confused.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to post about something I have noticed a lot in my time being in this group. Something I have noticed that I find bothersome is the amount of people on here who place meaning on their specific “theme” of OCD. I understand it can be relieving to be able to relate to others who are experiencing very similar to what you are. However, OCD can latch on to almost anything depending on your own personal circumstances and environment. The type or form of OCD is never the real problem. The issue is not whether or not your hands are actually clean or dirty after you have washed them, you *know* they are clean if you washed them. The problem is not whether you are actually gay or not, you *know* what your own sexual preference is. The real issue is the immense doubt we feel due to a malfunction happening in our brains. The specific obsessions, themes, whatever you want to call them, are pretty much always irrelevant. The less focus you give to these, the better. It is all the same disorder, regardless of which form it happens to take in your life. There is no special meaning that makes homosexual OCD so much different than contamination OCD. Or any other forms. This is why talk therapy does not work with OCD, you cannot get to the root of the issue, because the issue is not our specific themes. With my long experience I have had with OCD, I have dealt with several forms of it over the years, going to show how meaningless the specific obsessions are. They can change over time, it’s just what ever OCD can do to scare you the most. This is the reason why once you become bored of a specific theme, OCD will try to transform into a different theme. The point I am trying to make is that the less meaning and relevance you give to your specific obsessions, the better. The obsessions are not the problem, the problem is the disorder itself and something is not functioning the way it is supposed to. I sincerely hope I don’t offend anyone with this post, as that is not my intention; I just would like for everyone in this group to be able to get better, and I find some of the posts in this group to be counterproductive to that goal. I hope everyone will have a great day today! -?