Welcome to
the NOCD Community

POCD is genuinely terrifying. Yesterday, I was reading fan fiction on tumblr because I was bored, and I thought that it might help as an exposure because whenever I read it, I get a lot of intrusive thoughts. And I haven’t read it in a while because it scares me, so I thought I would try and read it. All of it was fine, but then I came across one that I wasn’t sure what was happening and then toward the end, it was more clear that it was a teacher and a student (I re read it to make sure that it wasn’t anything in appropriate) and I think it said that the girl was nearly 18, so it was legal anyway, and I think the teacher was quite young. But for some reason, I then started to worry and thought omg what if I read it wrong and it was an illegal relationship (nothing even happened in it, they just held hands) but I really started to worry, and then I got scared that everything I read yesterday was inappropriate. I’m so sick of my OCD twisting everything and making me believe things that aren’t true. After I read it, I of course was spiralling and then I had a memory come to me that I think then turned into false memory. Because when my nephew was younger, I used to babysit him, and so I had to change his nappies. And obviously, when you change them you have to wipe them clean and then put the new nappy on, and for some reason, yesterday sudden panic ran over me and I was like ‘what if I did something inappropriate to him’ and it’s ridiculous because I obviously would never hurt a child or do anything like that ever, the idea sickens me ! But my OCD is making it feel so real and I feel so depressed and sad. And the more I think about it, the more it seems so real and I get scared that I’ve done it. I feel terrible and sick and i just want get away from my mind !!! What makes it worse is also the ‘fake feelings’ as well. I hate myself so much, I just want to cry. Has anyone experienced a similar thing to this ?

If anyone needs help in exposures or something they are struggling with I’m open to help! I’ve been dealing with OCD, anxiety, and depression for a long time now. I’ve got a pretty firm understanding on the mechanism of OCD and ERP. I am struggling with depression strongly at the moment but I’ve seen large and tangible progress with ERP ?

maybe TRIGGER WARNING I just have to share...I am struggling today. No depression, just thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts. THOUGHTS! I am so afraid. I am pretty sure it is my OCD but I have had them for so long, even without knowing until recently that is was rOCD. I grew up with my now husband. We were never close friend but later in high school I knew he liked me...I completely wrote him off until senior year. Something felt different about liking him. Before anything could happen I met another guy I was attracted to. I was so confused then, I told them both it wouldn’t work. I told myself I must not have liked him if another guy looked appealing. It feels good to write this out. Only nice comments please. Later, after an awful spell of OCD (the one where I was diagnosed with OCD) my now husband supported me so much with prayer and encouragement. It began to feel right again (the relationship) as I got better with that lapse of OCD. Although I had SO MUCH anxiety over the 1st time I liked him. I was so judgmental over everything he did when we started dating. I felt like I wanted to marry him...I mean I couldn’t imagine anyone else but I kept thinking “why doesn’t it feel the way I want it to?”. This was all before I knew what ROCD was mind you. 4 1/2 years later and I am having such a bad spell of ROCD. I have had the thoughts since we started dating but now it has turned into a full blown relapse. I keep thinking “what if I made a mistake? What if I only liked him as a friend?” I am terrified. I married the most amazing man. I just can’t deal with these thoughts ? Sorry for writing a book but, again, it feels good to write everything out.

Just here to say don’t give up guys! I used to take about an hour in the bathroom washing my hands repeatedly. After a couple of months of frustration, I reduced it down to 30 mins. That was one of the best feelings I ever had. Fast forward to another couple of months (about 4) I reduced it down to 15-20 mins. Today I tackled the problem of washing my hands to less than 5 mins. I’m still waiting for the anxiety to kick in, I don’t know how I’ll handle it. Keep trudging on and let’s all win this battle! :)

Anyone experience a depressed mood for no reason? I feel absolutely terrible for no reason. My mind keeps looking for reasons of why I feel so bad. My OCD themes are that I would harm my wife and/or daughter of that I would become depressed and take my life. I have no desire to do either of these and the very thought of either of these things causes a great deal of anxiety. I have been doing really well for the last 2 weeks until 3 days ago. And I have had this feeling like something is wrong or that I am depressed. I have noticed that colors and certain settings cause me to associate them to negative experiences or thoughts. Perhaps this is what is bringing my mood down. I just want to feel good. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Really need help Bit of a background story: i had a weird online relationship for three years, i was 16 then broke up when i was 19. it started out as just “roleplaying” as anons (anons are people who faceclaim celebrities to roleplay whichever character/personality you wanna be but not use your face) basically this girl and i, we were just acting ourselves except we were both anons of a band we mutually liked. I never had a boyfriend before (i’m bi) and when i was 16 this was a nice way to feel that “lovey” butterflies feeling in my stomach or just something fun. We started out as anons first but later on fell deeper for each other, beyond anons. Basically we broke up when my ocd flare up first time happened. It’s been three months, we talk sometimes we’re good. I still miss her but we have both kind of moved on maybe. THING IS i’ve been obsessing over my next relationship. How am i gonna let my future boyfriend/girlfriend in this information? It’s all too weird but it’s important i confess this because i believe transparency is good in a relationship (also its my ocd brain wanting everything out on the table when i date someone, even the weirdest kinks) I’ve just been obsessing over this. What if i find a perfect guy but he gets turned off or weirded out about my weird first love?

I’m not gonna lie ... sometimes I feel like I have no control over what I think and feel. Idk if that happens to anyone else but I just feel plain crazy now. I’m not hallucinating or hearing stuff but like... it’s like my mind is just throwing all kinds of intrusive thoughts and my emotions are mixed

Lately I have been obsessing that I may have bipolar disorder since there is a higher chance of people who have OCD that also have bipolar disorder. I just keep telling myself that I have not been professionally diagnosed. Has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Am I the only one??

Hello Everyone! My name is Ted. I'm a NOCD Pro, a licensed mental health professional trained in OCD treatment. I would like to offer my knowledge and help to this community. If there is anything that bothers you pertaining to your OCD, please feel free to ask me questions in this thread. I may not be able to get to every question posed, but I will try to answer as many as I can. I look forward to it!

"Where do I start?" I have hocd (or sexual orientation ocd) and ughh Is so frustrating I can't imagine or think about relationships with the opposite sex... like I try to see a guy but in my mind is like: "No no no. It maybe seems like a man but in the inside is a woman and you know that. Because now you doesn't know if you like them, touché stupid!" and I hate this. I don't know how to scape from this. I have been triying to be okay with all of this because is not a bad thing. I'm also going to a good therapist I guess. God bless I can talk about this to her and to all of you. But the day to day is draving me crazy. That degenerates in a transexual or nb ocd because this makes me think there are no genres anymore or something. That I'm always wrong about it. And I don't even know why. I'm okay with my body. I'm okay with who I am. I was really okay with who I felt attracted. I can't write stories properly, and that was a thing I used to love. I can't feel it real anymore. And sometimes I feel like I don't want to see my best friends or meet new ones, I'm afraid of people of my own sex sometimes and is so embarrasing. I can't even enjoy reading a book because of the characters... or watching a movie or a series. I can't distract myself, is everywhere. I wish this would end someday. Im okay with anxiety. I have fought it before but these 4 months, and counting, are being the worst of my life... I know I have to keeo fighting and try to be positive but... nothing is easy anymore.

Does anyone like get extra anxious about an intrusive thought because you think to yourself “nobody else has probably had this thought.” “I must be crazy.” Idk those thoughts always seem to make my anxiety worse. I also have a fear of losing touch of reality and believing in crazy thoughts, if that makes sense? TMI but I also notice that my OCD is worse when I’m on my period. Can anyone else relate?

❀whenever you heal, it hurts❀ but eventually winter will end a flower will blossom amidst the snow a bittersweet coffee flowers could never bloom without being planted in the soil dirty petals beautiful roots a bittersweet coffee somehow you will find your flower so please bear with the taste of a bittersweet coffee ❀’til it hurts, is when you’ll heal❀

I can’t help but slightly blame my family for my lack of mental health. I have a mother that is a good person but cares so much about appearances that I now have anxiety over any imperfections. My dad yelled at me and my brother so much that my first reaction to anything is anger. And my dad literally always talks about how amazing my brother is. I was telling him how my boyfriend helped me out a lot by teaching me how to study and he then proceeded to name how much smarter my brother is. None of this pertains to OCD necessarily but it caused me to spiral. Usually that means cleaning but my house is cleaning so I’m just obsessing over how literally everyone but my mother thinks my brother is better. I love him very much. But part of me thinks that if he wasn’t here, my life would be better. My Pure O is more of the problem than OCD. There are no compulsions. Just obsessed with the idea that my brother will always be better than me. No matter what. It’s stupid but I just want to be a priority to someone other than my boyfriend or Jesus. I want someone in my family to understand my struggle with various mental illnesses and with always coming in second to my brother.

I’m not sure if someone has done this before on this app or not??? But i’m a little curious to see what state or country everyone is from...I will kick it off! ? New Jersey is in the house ??

I really hope someone can give me some words of advice on this topic as I’m really struggling. After having a conversation about suicide, it triggered me thinking ‘what if I kill myself’ ‘what if I get depressed and kill myself’. The next day and still today I have symptoms of depression. I feel emotionless and numb and everything that used to make me happy now doesn’t. I never was depressed I’ve always had ocd but I’ve still managed to be happy and this only started two days ago after the suicide conversation which I think triggered ocd on this theme. I keep thinking no this is real I’m really depressed and I’ll never be happy again and I’m going to kill myself. Can anyone please relate and offer some advice I don’t know if this is normal and how to get over it :(

For the first time, in a very long time I feel really motivated to do something with my life. I want to start going to the gym, do slimming world, I want to look into doing meditation, go food shopping tomorrow, try different little things to enhance my mood and distract my OCD. But I’m worried that it’s late at night and I’m feeling this now and by the morning my usual lazy, feel sorry for myself, unmotivated self will be back and I won’t get any of it done. I’m also worried that I haven’t taken my tablets properly for the last week and a bit as I changed the place that I usually keep them and I keep forgetting about them and I only have two left and I keep forgetting to order new ones. I don’t usually feel as though my tablets do much for me but this morning I felt intense sadness over the smallest of things and was going straight to suicidal thoughts and now I’m on top of the world, motivated for change. I’ve not noticed it before as I’ve never been on tablets long enough to feel a change before so I don’t know whether it means they work because I haven’t felt these intense high and lows in a while, my moods been pretty stable, almost numb like. Like I don’t really feel anything, nothing fazes me much, only my moments of anxiety when I’m in the obsession-ritual cycle. Or that I’m aware I haven’t taken them properly and I’m creating this feeling or I’m feeling these intense feelings because of situations that have caused them. Anyone else able to relate or shed some light on this?

when i was in middle/high i got mocked and teased for having OCD. now i’m afraid to talk about it anywhere besides here. i know that you all understand what it’s like and i appreciate all of your help and guidance, but i wish the people in my life would take it more seriously and not make me feel like an attention seeking lunatic

Having intrusive thoughts all day ever since I woke up, I was fine earlier this morning but now it just feels real and at times I don’t feel like myself, as if something else has taken over. It wants me to turn into things that I don’t want, it wants me to hurt, and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like after my exposures I feel like myself again but then my thoughts come right back saying it was a lie. I honestly feel numb, the numbest I ever felt. I’m so tired.

i kinda just let the thoughts sit in my head but right now it just seems i don’t have an attraction to guys. it’s really scaring me and i’m not sure what to do about it. i’m scared to date guys because i’m scared to get hurt or have past trauma happen to me again and i feel liek that’s the reason i have these thoughts like “what if you just don’t like guys and you’re denying it” or “what if you just don’t like guys at all” and i know that’s not true because i’ve NEVER been attracted to any girls in that way. only guys and i’ve always been attracted to guys even really young. i’m just kinda scared right now and not sure what to do can someone help?

So I heard one my best friends saying she has OCD. All she did was considered perfectionism and she was organizing peoples stuff on school. I do organize my suff but as a compultion and it is not like it bothers me , I HAVE to, I don’t think she understands. I would be torturing myself instead of organizing ppl stuff, is not like she didn’t want ppl to watch it.I think she wanted attention or smth, but I felt offended about it .