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I’ve spiraled to the lowest of rock bottom. I now have all subtypes and I do not deserve to live. I hate my mind so much. This has all happened in 3 months and all because of reassurance.

I’m so scared I’m not going to make it to heaven what if I’ve made too many mistakes in my life .. I’m afraid of the unknown what if the rapture happens soon

I was recently diagnosed with OCD last month, and my new psychiatrist started me on two new medications. I have not been put in any therapies yet, (talk therapy has always proved ineffective for me) but I am open to it in the future.) For the past 16 years, I’ve been living my life diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My new psychiatrist has “undiagnosed” me with those two disorders, and diagnosed me with OCD. She said my “anxiety” has actually been caused by severe untreated OCD. I particularly struggle with suicidal thoughts/ideation and have been hospitalized multiple times for severe depression episodes; including Catatonia and Existential Crises. Being treated for those other disorders my entire life (starting age 12) many of the medications they put me on always made my symptoms worse. This new revelation has caused me to experience feelings of confusion and loss of self-identity. This new diagnosis is scary to me, even if it makes so much sense. I’d appreciate any advice on navigating this time in my life. I appreciate this app finding its way to me in this time. ❤️

I just think this isn’t ocd anymore, i don’t know how to explain it very well but every since my ocd started i’ve been getting this weird sensation that i described as anxiety but i associated with the fact that i’m actually going crazy and that i’ve been faking mi whole life and i want to hurt the people i love (specifically my mom) i know i love her but i get trigger literally by everything and i’m so scared. My mind is telling me that i don’t have empathy so i’m constantly checking if i feel the way i have to when something sad happens and the thoughts are racing, i’m so tired of this it’s like i don’t know who i am anymore, i feel like i’m about to snap and hurt someone.. pls someone respond to this

I’m very anxious that I’m making the wrong career choice (I’m two semesters away from getting a bachelor’s in software engineering) and I’m worried my real passion is in being a life coach/filmmaker. I get so anxious that I’m making the wrong choice that I’ve dropped out of school three times in the last six years and I have no idea how i’ve made it this far in my degree. On the other hand, whenever I quit school, I feel so much relief and then I pursue filmmaking and get equivalently anxious and end up quitting that. It’s gotten to the point where this is a weekly/daily cycle and completely debilitating. I tend to seek external validation on my choices but it makes it worse. Help.

My mom passed away on January 24th but my husband and I didn’t know till Sunday a few days ago. Since Sunday - I have not showered, brushed my teeth, have over ate and binged on junk food and drinks. My support groups and therapist is in the know but I have unable been able to respond to texts or calls. I have my finals due this week and my processors said I can have another few days after the submission. I just feel like my life has stopped. I’m only 27. My dad is gone too. And I don’t have a relationship with my other family members - I’m not asking for advice please. I’m only sharing this as a way to literally just share that I am someone whose mom has passed away and I needed to say that. And that I feel complusions coming on but also for a moment … I felt like I wasn’t someone with ocd for a few moments when I got news my mom is gone. But then I also got reminded immediately when I thought how do I get through this now ? Send prayers to me everyone.

I had a great childhood but one bad thing happened and I feel like things just haven't been the same anymore. My teen years sucked and the start of my adult years aren't the greatest. I have good moments still, and there are very high moments but I'm mostly just not happy. I'm just not feeling the days anymore and OCD makes it so much worse. I just hope I can work out the past hurt, guilt, and shame. I try to shake it off but I just can't. I just remember it all over and over again and it's hard to let go of it. I really hope I can somehow get back to where I used to be. I'm mostly worried about how my addiction abuse affected my physical health. I'm always afraid that I'm going to catch a bad disease or that I won't make it the next day. I hate it. I just want to stop worrying and just live my life. I have a lot of good things in my life but I just can't let this stuff go.

I am angry 24/7. I’m in a constant war with my mind, and the images I get inside my head are unbearable to say the least. My mom passed when I was 17. (I’m 24 now)my two older brothers died this past November 2023 in the same week. I have no way of expressing my grief. I feel like nobody understands me. I’m not an alcoholic, but I feel like the only times I’m able to feel genuine emotion is when Im out with family drinking. My OCD is a battle from the moment I wake up, until the moment I drift off to sleep. And I feel restless because I have no relief while I’m sleeping, because of the kind of dreams I get, that are based off of the themes of my OCD. This is my first time seeking help with this, and I have had OCD since elementary school. I don’t wanna carry this anymore. Please, any advice you can pass along, share it. I feel alone.

For a long time now I've been having problems breathing and having a narrow airway so I constantly check my throat and have anxiety and thoughts about dying in my sleep choking or having an allergic reaction. Some nights it is very hard for me to sleep where I just am overthinking and hyperfixating on my throat to the point it feels like my airway is blocked and air can't get through. I do believe I have sleep apnea due to the fact I have nights where I wake up choking and coughing as well as making weird sounds at night. For this reason I am also terrified to eat in restaurants for having a fear of choking as well as sleeping with someone in fear of them hearing me snore and make weird noises. I also worry nobody including doctors will understand what I'm talking about or how I think. I just scheduled an ENT appointment after years of putting it off and I'm more scared of them not finding anything wrong with me. Id rather have something wrong with me so it can be solved. I am constantly thinking about the state of my throat and worried that I am going to die because I can't get a full breath of air.

i want to feel human. i want to feel emotions how normal people feel them. i get everyone is different but i dont get it. everytime i feel human for a second i get a random feeling of discouragement and false sense of temporary joy. i want it to stop but it wont stop why wont they stop. ocd and bipolar are not a good combination

We all have triggers to our OCD but what mine are like are i just recently got out of my OCD attacks, but recently there’s a story of a girl who recently committed and me being dumb knowing that that stuff triggers me watched all about it. now my thoughts are “what if i do that” “what if im not happy in my life” “what if i want to kill myself” but also “your just like her your depressed and want too” and “your not happy” when in all reality i’ve been so happy with my life and living until i started watching all of those videos. I’ve been panicking all day and have been isolating myself from everything because i feel like everything is a trigger to my thoughts. my thoughts are convincing me that i want to kms and im not happy but in reality i am. i hate ocd so much i hate it. because i know i would never do this thought but its causes so much stress and time of my life i feel that i cant function.

I have a sinus infection. I’m scared to take the meds because I have read that the meds can increase anxiety. I also read that a sinus infection can turn into meningitis. So now I’m terrified about that. I’ve convinced myself that I’m terribly ill and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m so tired but can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just can’t stop thinking that something horrible is going to happen but won’t take the meds because I’m scared they will make something horrible happen. This thought process is long and very repetitive. How do I break the cycle and start to feeling better? Being sick wreaks havoc in my nervous system. But so does taking the meds . I don’t know why to do anymore.

When struggling with ocd I've noticed myself disconnecting from the truth of who i am. When your mind is constantly doubting everything you do it can make you feel like you don't really know who you are and that is very scary. I keep thinking back to my past self before all of this got really bad and I can't help but mourn the loss of the freedom I had :/ Despite the fear and depression this has caused me, I'm trying to take small steps to reconnect with that version of myself in the past that felt more free. I don't know if this might help anyone else but don't get stuck in the cloudiness of intrusive thoughts and ocd, do those things you used to love despite the nagging thoughts. Don't let yourself be lost in the haze of your thoughts to the point where you forget who you are. Do those things that remind you that you are still human. Dance, Paint, Write, anything really. Its not that easy but just remember that despite any horrific distressing thoughts you might have, you are still human.

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

OCD definitely makes me feel like my future is nothing but bad. A bunch of what ifs and it feels super anxiety inducing. I remind myself that no matter how bad my life gets, I never want to harm myself or end my life. I want to get through each struggle in a healthy manner. I just have a fear of bad things happening in my life and Im scared how I would react to it. My OCD is definitely super anxiety inducing and I would love for anyone to share their thoughts.

Is it possible for your ancestors to curse you??? I keep getting intrusive thoughts about my relative that passed away and my thoughts are saying that they’re gonna curse me with one of my biggest fears. I’m so terrified right now. What if these thoughts were to actually come true..??!!!

Does anyone else get this sinking feeling in their gut, like something terrible is about to happen? I use to panic over it but now I know it’s my OCD, it’s just so random, like all the sudden my brain is like SOMETHINGS WRONG OMG OMG DONT BE ALONE DONT LEAVE OTHERS ALONE 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

someone said something WORD FOR WORD what i am going through. i want to post it to see if you guys have any advice. to me, it’s the fear that my values or morals have changed forever. i don’t want them to change tho, i have no idea what to do

Hi all! I just wanted to see if anyone has any knowledge about when exposures become compulsive. My OCD has often centred around the anxiety itself and it never going away so my themes often jump around meta OCD and the fear of not getting better / doing exposures wrong. I find it always gets very complicated when OCD latches onto the exposures themselves.. I have found that saying “maybe, maybe not” to intrusive thoughts in the moment often comes with that temporary feeling of relief similar to that of compulsions. Is there a chance this in and of itself has become a neutralising technique? Does this sound mad? I’m struggling to find relevant research around this topic so if anyone can help that would be great. (well aware this could just be another obsessional fear!)

hi, I haven't posted here before, but I'm feeling really alone and hoping this will help a bit. I was diagnosed with OCD 2 years ish ago, after being able to hide a lot of cleaning compulsions during the pandemic as everyone was doing them, but it's really gotten worse in the past 6months ish. I'm on 100mg sertraline which seems to help take the edge off, but not really do much else. my main theme is contamination but others present too. I'm just feeling really out of control at the moment, the control it has on my life is so intense and I feel like nothing is helping. I'm in therapy doing ongoing cbt/dbt due to trauma, but also working partially on other things, I have done a course of cbt in the past but felt it had no effect. I have been looking into ERP but the thought of actually facing the things that trigger me is absolutely terrifying, the anxiety I get even when having to delay a compulsion almost always leads to a panic attack, today i didn't have my hand sanitiser on hand and had to walk back to a class to get it up one flight of stairs and that felt like it was too long and caused such a bad spiral. The flare I had today and reflecting on the last few months had me googling if I'd ever qualify for euthanasia (not legal in UK anyway) purely because this condition is so debilitating. I don't want to die, and everyone thinks I'm suicidal, but death isn't something I want at all, I just want this all to stop, and the thought of there being no cure and living with this forever is so scary and makes me feel like living isn't worth it. Everywhere says that OCD gets worse with age, and the thought of it being worse than this is terrifying. I'm scared, I think. I don't want to die, and I don't think anyone gets that, but I can't face it, either, because it feels so real to me. I know I need to, and I know it will help eventually, but I just wanted to sort of share what I was feeling, hoping others do as well. I know there are others, but it still feels so lonely.