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the NOCD Community

my puppy licked in my nose and i’m scared about that disease that you can get that can cause you to lose your limbs!! omg i’ve been on google for hours!!! i know it’s rare!! but i don’t want to be the one to get it!

I want to beat OCD/GAD? because I'm tired of being this shell of my former self. My brain has been hollowed out by the chainsaw of fears while my body remains fixed in place, unable to run. I once loved to sing and write. I once remembered conversations with others. I once was actually able to hold them myself. Now, I can barely complete coherent sentences without my thoughts veering off. My OCD leaves me exhausted. It's so hard to feel rested when you think something awful is going to happen all the time. I have started to affectionately call it Chicken Little Syndrome. However, it doesn't deserve any affection. I am supposed to be savoring the little songs my toddler sings or the jokes my husband cracks, but I am worrying about making ends meet or about inadvertently not being able to help my patients. Why did I have such issues with time management last shift? Why couldn't I focus on other simple tasks? People have shown me so much love and I can't even think of the proper way to respond, nevermind coming up with something clever, eloquent, or creative. I am a shell. A chainsaw of fear. My family is so good. They deserve to have me back.

I'm having a very hard time with contamination and health concerns OCD,I feel I'm about to give up. My parents even if they live extremely far from me and I haven't seen them in more than 6 years ago, still they don't really try better ways to help me through the distance. They have an immense lack of empathy, kindness, understanding, patience and compassion about my situation.My husband has become a monster, so mean and heartless. I'm all alone with my toddler. My hands are absolutely destroyed due to the over washing. I have waited 2 weeks to be able to open and use some makeup I ordered, but as I saw the box was opened Istarted to think what if someone has deliberately tampered the makeup, or polluted it with something very dangerous as Anthrax spores? And I never dropped that belief, I asked here for opinions and suggestions on how to deal with that. I got so helpful, kind and good answers, still I couldn't do a change. Now when I was reading a little more about OCD to try to find more help. I crossed with this, I didn't know, after reading this,l feel completely disappointed, to live with OCD, depression and anxiety it's not life, now reading that we are in higher risk of developing BD and Schizophrenia, it's awful. In days like this..I wish I was dead or never even born.

I need a place to write this out. 18+ only I’m having a pregnancy scare even though there was no P in V action. I’m worried semen might’ve accidentally gotten on my boyfriend’s hand. I know he did not touch himself. I was 1 day outside of my fertile window according to my cycle tracking when the non P in V sexual encounter occurred. I started having very minor left ovary pain 6 days before my period, along with some GI issues. There was flecks (like seriously 2 tiny SPECKS) of blood when I wiped 4 days before my period I’ve never noticed this before my period before. I had my period on time and regular. But I read that girls can mistake implantation bleeding for their period so I started to worry. I took a pregnancy test 3 days after my period ended and it was negative. My left ovary pain is still present the same as it was before my period, but now it’s coupled with minor lower back pain and GI issues. I keep worrying about being pregnant and that I took my pregnancy test wrong. I keep googling symptoms and quizzes trying to see how I compare. I don’t want to take another pregnancy test because I know how this loop works but I can’t stop overthinking.

Obviously I’m engaged in ERP here while also taking SSRI (Luvox 250mg and Buspar 7.5mg), but I was wondering if anyone had good luck with a natural remedy (cbg, ashwagandha, etc) or alternative therapy (acupuncture, hypnosis, ketamine)? I would like to supplement what I’m currently doing and I’m seriously thinking about ketamine. Much love y’all!

A few months ago my mom told me that she thought I was autistic when I was younger because I had a few sensory issues- and ever since then ive been going on loops and loops about if I am or not and ive been wanting to ask my mom if I am 😭😭😭 like if she ever got me idk tested for it- should I ask her?? Or is it just a compulsion

As most of us know, any form of birth control can have many side affects on how we feel. I was wondering if other women out there have had worsening symptoms of OCD or anxiety when you’re on birth control. What kind of birth control are or were you on if you don’t mind sharing. What works best for you? I believe my emotions are really intense which makes OCD even worse. I’m considering trying another method/brand.

my libido has been extremely low since i started antidepressants about a year ago. if i become aroused, it lasts for a very short amount of time and causes cramp-like pain. i’ve had a bad experience with a tampon that caused me to begin to blackout and almost throw up, and now the idea of penetration makes me extremely anxious and uncomfortable; sometimes it’ll cause me to feel these symptoms. my mom had endometriosis, so i know that i may have that as well, but i want to know if anyone has experienced anything similar.

Hi! Sorry to bother you guys, but I’m really scared right now. So basically, my throat and glands started hurting yet seer ray before I went to work and I just work up in the middle of the night with a stuffy nose and my throat hurts a little more. I looked at my throat in my phone camera and it looks kinda swollen now and I’m really scared that it’s gonna close. But if it was going to close wouldn’t it have happened already? Please someone respond, I’m really scared of getting sick.

Hi does anyone get a feeling off a skipped heartbeat/early heartbeat with there anxiety/ocd I have been drs and they said stop caffeine which I did and it still happens, they can’t see anything working with my heart on ecg etc so wondering if it’s can possibly be ocd/anxiety. Thanks

I feel like I’m living in my own personal hell right now. Everyday, all day, my thoughts are focused on food. My brain is stuck in a cycle of fearing eating and I want it to be over, but I don’t know how to get unstuck! It’s basically like, “Okay the wife told me that we’re having pizza for dinner tonight… but am I in the mood for that? Will I have an appetite for that later? What if I don’t have an appetite and I try to eat it and the texture feels gross in my mouth and I gag or vomit? What if the smell of the pizza makes me feel nauseous? Oh god, but if I don’t eat dinner my blood sugar will get low and it’ll make me feel worse and I’ll get more anxious, so I’m gonna have to eat the pizza to feel okay, but now the pressure of eating this pizza is stressing me out!!” And it’s like that all the time!! I’m trying to push through and not pay the spiraling any mind and just eat like normal, but it’s hard when something that’s such a simple task feels like a herculean struggle, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better :(

So my biological father had a talk with me a couple hours ago. I’ve been trying to process it and honestly it’s not affecting me as much as I thought it would. Anyway so here’s what happened: he told me that I should be careful what I claim. (For context I told my bio parents that I had ocd and possibly schizophrenia due to some signs I’ve noticed) he thinks I’m making this up, to quote this bastard; “I don’t know what game you’re playing…” and he also said that I might’ve been influenced by social media and im attention seeking. In the car he also said that if word got out that I do have a mental illness then no one is going to want to work for me or want me on the road (now I’m not learning how to drive anytime soon, I’m 16 and was supposed to learn this summer because next year I’m going to college) but that’s not the worst of it. It’s the fact that he said I’m causing THEM problems by having mental problems and asking for help. Help that I really need because I have tried to take my life and cut myself a few times now. I’ve also resorted to drinking to numb the pain. But now I’m going to have to tell them that I am in fact fine and have no mental illness because even though I need help, I value my freedom to get away from them than I do getting help. He has told me to go to hell and that he doesn’t care about me multiple times and every time I knew he wasn’t lying when he said he wished this would happen but now there’s no denying it. He never cared and will never care. My bio mother lets this happen and tries to convince he he’s a good guy who does these things because he cares. Someone who cares about me wouldn’t do this. Both of them can go fuck themselves. Thank you for listening to my rant talk 😻🫶‼️

I have been going through a really hard time lately in regard to my existential ocd. Not only that but my health anxiety has been horrible. What I wanted to bring up to see if a conversation could be had was my derealization. I have been having severe random bouts of derealization that are genuinely starting to feel debilitating. The best way I can describe it is I get sick to my stomach when I think about life, being alive, I convince myself im in a dream, that im stuck in a time loop and nothing around me is real and that ive been making up my entire life. With this also comes the intense feeling that everything has already happened before, its like deja vu but almost worse. I will be in moments lately and every single thing feels like it already happened, then that spirals into me believing nothing is real and im stuck in some kind of dream. Everything feels familiar, everything had already happened, sometimes stuff feels so familiar it genuinely will make me start to throw up because im so scared. Can someone please have a discussion with me and just let me know if theyve felt this way, what I should do, and if itll ever get better? Im genuinely convinced life will feel this way forever and im never going to be okay with being alive again and it genuinely makes me feel insane and so terrified. Thank you.

Does anyone else get fired from doctors because you get upset when they won’t listen? Or you have explained that the treatment option offered is one you have tried and didn’t work?

When I get really stressed I obsessed about that I never vill sleep again. I'm so fucking tired of it. It's hard because I have a lot of autoimmune diseases so logically I also know that I need sleep. Which making it worse because that tells OCD that I'm right. I do all the classics things, telling my self that I can go one night without sleep, that I can cancel the important thing tomorrow etc. But it doesn't not help. It makes it worse. It's not about sleep it's about me worrying about a lot of real stuff I don't want to think about so I think about that I will never sleep again. Any ideas? I know I will feel stressed and it will be a lot for me to handle tonight. But I don't want to give in to my compulsions. That's all. I want to take the fight. I just needed to tell some one and know I'm not alone. I've done it before with OCD so I know I can do it. It's just so hard when it's all in my head.

i read some things about ocd and the different types of it and symptoms and I can honestly relate to them (im not trying to diagnose myself with ocd but I think I have a type of ocd) lemme explain: so like this been happening since the summer. me and my best friend did something sexually together and me and her afterwards wasn’t okay after that and she told me how she felt afterwards and after that I felt totally disgusted and sick about myself and that’s when all the intrusive thoughts started. I keep having the urge to kill myself everyday I keep thinking about death and it’s getting to the point that I can’t eat because after I eat something I immediately think I’m gonna die because I ate something. When I’m at school or in public I have bad anxiety and thoughts about me dying. And after the situation happened with my friend (I’m Christian) I just feel like God is so disappointed in me because what I did. Nobody knows this situation. Nobody knows what’s REALLY going on with me. Im trying to stay strong but it’s getting really hard to im at my breaking point the thoughts are getting worse and worse everyday I wake up with these intrusive intense thoughts. I want help. But idk how to help myself. I try to go to my mom for help she doesn’t understand me nobody understands but me.

I cannot seem to stop the cycle and I’m questioning how much longer I can manage like this. I keep having a symptom, or so I think. It’s not super consistent, and when I’ve gone to the doctor to explain it, I feel like a crazy person. Its sharpish, tingling pains in my stomach that do seem to be more present when I’m stressing and hyper fixating on them. But sometimes just pop up on their own. I won’t notice it for a few days, and then I’ll feel a twinge in my stomach and absolutely have a freak out over it thinking it’s some stage 4 something. I’ve stopped wearing certain clothes and working out because I’m afraid of “triggering” it. I feel like I can’t even distinguish between what’s real and what’s not anymore. How will I ever know when to actually go to the doctor for something if i don’t know that what I’m feeling is even real? Has this happened to anyone else?

Because is controlling my life

Dr has prescribed me Lexapro for ocd until I can get in to see a psych eventually, I’m about to start therapy in January aswell…. Was just wondering if anyone has had positive experiences with Lexapro? I know everyone is different, so maybe I could just ask for anyone who has found a medication that works for them, I just wanted to know a thorough explanation of how it makes you feel & how it has helped with your intrusions/ocd… I am quite nervous to try it because of side affects and fear it’s just another trial error phase…. I have quit smoking pot and going to stick with taking it same time every day where as in the past with 2 previous meds I was still smoking and not having a routine with when I took the meds. So obviously it didn’t work properly… can someone just give me a bit of hope, please?

Sometimes I feel absolutely fine, then the next few moments I’m gasping for air and it feels like it won’t fill my lungs no matter how hard I try. Sometimes it comes on so suddenly without me consciously thinking about it so I’m having a really hard time differentiating between what’s physically happening and what’s caused by somatic OCD. I wonder at times if it’s a mix of both, but either way it’s a terrible feeling and makes me feel dizzy, weak and anxious. I want to break this cycle so badly but I don’t know how to tackle it. Breathing should be such an easy, mundane thing but now it takes everything in me just to make it through each episode.