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the NOCD Community

I don’t want any negative comments. I only want positive ones about your experience with Zoloft if that’s what you take.

Does it ever get better? I'm struggling yet again. Mine started with health stuff. I have GI issues and something wrong with my shoulder. I have " heart attack symptoms" I've been googling (which according to Google I'm having a heart attack), looking for reassurance, using my oximeter (because I woke up twice feeling like I couldn't breathe) and making Dr appointments again. Everything I'm not supposed to do. It's consuming my life. It's making feel depressed and hopeless. I shut down emotionally when it gets this bad. My pchye said, "I'm just going through the motions, but not really living " that's exactly what it's like. Can't get reassurance, so I guess this is just me venting and and trying to be hopeful that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I want the old me back.

Hi there everyone. I'm a 22 year old male who was diagnosed with ocd when I was about 16. I've struggled greatly with ocd and even fainted once because of how bad it got. I've had many obsessions that have shifted from time to time. Right now I have a bit of pocd, hocd,health ocd, and my latest and currently most distressing obsessions, where I'm not sure where to categorize them. My symptoms are as follows. I was walking home from work with an employee one day, when I hit a wall so to speak, in my thoughts. Like, I kind of knew what I wanted to say, but trying to put it into words, or fetching the words felt exhausting, and difficult. This was very distressing and triggered a downward spiral of obsessing over dementia, aphasia, cognitive decline, forgetting how to read and speak, and obsessing over words I think, read, and speak and wether or not I understand them.i continually get anxiety feelimg the need to go over the original catalyst sentence in my head ,checking to make sure I can properly retrieve it and think it. I still have a teeny bit of difficulty thinking or speaking about it, and I'm not sure if it's just my ocd and anxiety. Following all of this, lately I have had a fogginess in my head when thinking complexly and my ocd has pounced on it. Im hoping it's just brain fog, and that I'm obsessing over nothing, as when I am not obsessing about it, I understand and read and speak words just fine . Anyone else going through this?

I’ve never been under anesthesia, i’m 19 and I should be getting my wisdom teeth removed, I am supposed to call the oral surgeon, but I still haven’t called after two months of getting my referral, for a few reasons. 1. I think i will die or suffer from serious complications/ be able to feel everything but not be able to move, almost like sleep paralysis, because that type of thing has happened before, only in redheads… I am not a redhead. Just the impeding doom it feels like a possibility. 2. Who will take me/drive me home while i’m coming out of the anesthesia and possibly saying silly things. I don’t want anyone to see me in a state i’ve never been in before. I feel like i’m going to say horrible things that are either directed at the person who is caring for me, or just in general. Even sexually explicit/ morally wrong/ flat out disturbing. If my boyfriends take me what if I tell him I don’t love him ( I do). What if I say something sexual that could be offensive, like sexual acts with other people? (I’ve never done/Will never do). I can’t have my mom take me cause she would hold those things against me for however long it felt right to her. Etc. My teeth are suffering and the anxiety of the what ifs eat me alive every time I think about it. To me this feels extremely vulnerable and it makes me more uncomfortable than anything to not be in control of my words. My sister specifically is an example that makes me feel these things. She told me that our mother said to her when she was healed from getting her wisdom teeth out that my sister said something so bad that my mother said she would never repeat it. Which is very out of character for my mother. And my sister and I are almost positive what she said was a sexual connotation. Has anyone else had this experience?

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

My entire body hurts. I’m struggling to make friends,my fear of getting rejected holds me back from making friends. I’m so fucking numb I can’t stand it hardly any longer. I have type 1 diabetes that I have to control on top of having untreated ocd. I can’t find a therapist atm that specializes because I can’t fucking afford therapy. I’m pretty sure talk therapy has made ocd worse. I don’t want to live like this. it’s not even me it’s a shell and I hate my life right now.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I need help I dont know if its hocd or i am actually of the opposite sexual orientation Its been 2 weeks now 2 weeks of non stop overthinking Of not feeling like myself Of remembering stuff that happened before Now i fear that it actually might be true because i’m not getting annoyed at the thoughts anymore and this is distressing me further I cant afford therapy and i even dont want to go fearing that it will reveal to me that i actually am of the opposite orientation Its torture Every time i’m with women now i feel anxious and uncomfortable This never happened before I dont know if i have experienced ocd before but i am really familiar with health anxiety as i am a hypochondriac I also had relationship anxiety which now that i think abt it it might be that i’m a comphet and wasnt actually attracted to my partner I need this to stop Plz help me What if i actually dont have ocd and i have been just using it as an excuse that i’m straight I literally am remembering every single time i have found a woman attractive and its making me anxious I dont want to be with women but maybe its just bc thats what we were taught

My anxiety is so horrible I am focusing on ever little thing like my throat feels like it’s closing from mucus in it so I cry and cry which makes it worse and I’m up all night and can’t keep missing work it’s horrible. I feel so far away from the person I was a month ago :( I have a therapy appointment at the end of the month but I wish it was sooner. It will be my first one in a long time. I keep telling myself obviously I can breathe but there’s a lump in my throat. I have gerd and bad allergies so I always have post nasal drip but yesterday my coworker mentioned how with her gerd her throat was swollen and it was hard to swallow and I think that’s what triggered this. But a few days ago it was something else. It’s always something

One of my most persistent symptoms of OCD is being convinced that I have some kind of severe or terminal illness. I've had so many appointments (that have picked up a few things but nothing that's been a death sentence). Every ache, symptom, I'm absolutely convinced something is wrong. Then I'll get it checked out, and it's normal. Or I'll feel a sensation like earlier I felt a sharp pain in my stomach when I pressed the upper part of it, CONVINCED its stomach cancer. And then I burped and I'm perfectly fine. I get so intensely wrapped in worry, and then later on I see I completely made everything up. It's so exhausting.

I m no supposed to complaint but I m so sick of this health ocd omg I overcome one obsession and the next one coming in fast and I m getting caught arguing with the thoughts then I have to stop new obsession is what if I get stomach cancer because I get a lot acid reflux due to the anxiety and a lot stabbing pain in my chest

I have my first therapy apt Monday - looking forward to it! However, I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD. I’m advocating for myself and hoping to figure out what all is going on so I can learn correct coping techniques to get better! I guess I’m writing this to maybe see if anyone can help me understand or can relate!? I had my first panic attack a few months ago! After a few weeks my mind got scared that feeling anxious and stressed out was going to make me become schizophrenic or some insane situation. I somewhat got over that fear after several months of everyday panics about it. Now I’m in a loop and scared everyday that I’m “stuck”. I felt like I was experiencing dereliction and things weren’t real. And my mind takes off with that feeling everyday and feeds me these constant ‘what if’ thoughts and make things seem real. I am worried and in tears off and on everyday. It’s like a tug of war because I know it’s not true but in that same breath I feel like it’s real and true! It’s exhausting and scary! Can anyone relate? Does this sound OCD related? Thanks so much! Hugs to everyone ❤️

Does anybody else obsess over their health, and feel completely exhausted.. I’ve been having severe ocd and anxiety the past few weeks.. I just feel like it takes everything out of me to get up and do anything, and i just feel so exhausted all the time. it’s hard to even get house work done, and i feel like when i get up to do stuff i shake inside.. Does anybody else get like this. I have myself so paranoid that something is wrong with me

I woke up early face this weirds obsession didn’t do compulsion so that’s good my day was going fine until my toddler started to itch and cry I did everything but the cry continued and I got desperately since my stress level are constantly high because of her eczema I had a anxiety attack when I got desperately I kept getting this thoughts of my ocd and anxiety will never get better because my kid got severe ecezma I m constantly under stress this is why I relapse so much and I don’t think therapy will help me because of my stress level is no control after this I get really depressed like there’s no recovery for me because once again stress level are high going on 3 years with a kid with severe eczema any advice I m really trying to recover from ocd but how can I if constantly under stress ?

Here I am once again. I found a small moveable lump under my chin so I ended up going to the ER because i couldn’t wait to get in to a ENT. The Dr just felt it and said it’s a gland. I told her it doesn’t feel like the one on the other side. She did a CBC and said she isn’t worried about it. I can’t get it out of my head that she’s wrong. I have been looking at a Prayer request that went out from a well known radio host and read all the comments of people asking for Prayers due to them or loved ones having cancer. All I want to do is sleep, as soon as I wake up I get the surge of anxiety and panic. I fear death and worry IF there is no afterlife and this makes things 💯 worse. I’m tired

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

my ocd has gotten SO much better. but these last few days, death ocd, and im afraid ill be scared to eat food. i don’t know why my mind does this. but even being on my phone is making me overthink everything. what if i’m going crazy 😞

Sorry to be TMI - I haven’t been on this app in a while but I’m genuinely so scared. I have struggled with health ocd for a while now but I’ve had a few months without any worry? But I started stressing a few weeks ago about a lot of stuff in my life , I’ve struggled with vaginismis etc from stress so this isn’t the first vaginal issue I’ve had - but anyway- I have had some symptoms of UTI , I’ve had itching, burning pee, vaginal pain etc and urgency - I have been to the emergency hospital in panic and been on 2 different antibiotics - I did a urine test in the doctors and everything is fine? I still have some symptoms and I can’t stop panicking I have cervical cancer or something ? Has anyone had similar physical symptoms like this from health ocd ?

This is my first post on here and not sure if this is a form of ocd but thought I’d see if anyone else feels similar and knows how to cope or ignore these thoughts. I have constant thoughts to do with eating and exercising and constantly fear what it’s going to do to me or how it will effect me if I may be eating the wrong thing or made the wrong choice of food or if I haven’t done a certain amount of steps or burned enough calories (checking the app to see) Feel like the little voice in my head is just constantly there watching everything I do making sure it doesn’t effect me Trying not to make this too long but I’ve tried to explain most things briefly

I’ve only recently discovered that I have developed Health Concern OCD, Existential OCD and Somatic OCD. There’s a lot going on in my head all the time. In the past year, specifically the last few months, I’ve had the same recurring thoughts: -How were humans created to breathe? It’s crazy how our bodies can breathe on its own while we sleep. It’s not something anyone should ever think about yet I always think about the way I breathe, if I’m breathing enough, what if I randomly stop breathing or forget how to breathe? -I feel there is always something wrong with me. I have random sharp shooting pains in my chest, I experience heart palpitations frequently, I feel off balance almost every day. What if there’s something seriously wrong with me DESPITE all of the doctor’s visits, blood tests, EKGs and heart ultrasounds I’ve done in 2023 that all confirm I’m “healthy” and there is nothing wrong. What if I wake up and something is seriously wrong with me throughout the day and I come to find out I have a terminal illness? -Why do our bodies turn on us and make us sick? Why does illness strike unexpectedly? Why was I put on this earth? Where do we go and what happens when we die? What happens to our souls? Our soul is what makes us and our soul is a small little voice in our head and that voice is trusting the house (our bodies) it lives in to keep it safe and out of danger and to provide a long and healthy life/home for our soul. It’s exhausting having all of these thoughts on repeat every day. How do I make these thoughts stop!?