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Does anyone else feel their pulse, worry about the heart rate. Constantly worry about feeling bad? I have anxiety now and can feel it and it feels bad! I just wanna cry. Everyday is a struggle.

So I’ve been in a pretty rough spiral/ocd spike for about a month now. I used to have this theme of being severely mentally ill or schizophrenic or psychotic and it went away for like 6 months and now it’s back full force. I have never hallucinated but I have this intense fear of what if I do. So with this theme I have these delusional thoughts that are just bizarre and I know how delusional they are but they feel so real and scary like I believe them. My body reacts by my stomach feeling uneasy and I’ll get a chill and just feel like I’m gonna be sick. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a thought per say.. it can just be a weird sensation or feeling and then I’ll become extremely anxious and borderline feel like I could panic. I can usually talk myself down from a full blown panic attack and but it’s just so distressing and I’m wondering if anyone else goes through this? I think it stems from a core fear of losing my family, ending up institutionalized away from my family and my family being devastated and judging me bc I “went crazy” please if anyone else can relate I’d appreciate any advice.

Hey guys, wondering if anyone who has ever taken Luvox for OCD experienced absolute exhaustion in the first couple of weeks?? I am so tired, sleeping upwards of 10 hours a night. I’ve been taking it in the morning… maybe that’s the issue?

I can’t say that I have OCD but I’ve seen the various themes and I feel as I have it and well my life has been very crazy for the last 5 days. Right now I’m struggling with harm and somewhat religious ocd I’d say and becuase of the thoughts I have gotten panic/anxiety attacks and can’t keep myself from shaking and feeling very hot or cold becuase of these thoughts. I have also dealt with health, sexual orientation, etc in the past. But harm and religious ocd has really shaken me like crazy I’ve had thoughts of harming my mother and yk I don’t wanna say the word but yk it and I get really scared that maybe that my mind really wants to do it but I today I cried for the first time in such a while thinking about my mom and it kinda gave me relief because I seriously felt I have lost my emotions but I feel way more relaxed and joining this app today and seeing people’s experiences has given me hope

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

I’ve always had a feeling of having OCD but I’ve never been sure. I’m a teenager, and I’m hoping people on this app can help me try to figure out if I have OCD or I’m just crazy. Starting off with these terrible thoughts I have all the time. Someone can come home late and I immediately think they got into a car wreck, and check my phone for recent car crashes and other thing etc. etc. number 2, I always have intrusive thoughts, terrible ones ever since I was a kid I can’t control. I immediately feel like thinking these will lead god to hate me, and that he made an imperfection on me. And every time I try to hide these thoughts away, like right now they’re coming out I just can’t stop thinking of them and it’s so hard to do anything. Just thoughts like, “you hate your mom” or, “you hate god” and stuff that scares me like spiders. It’s hard to do anything with these thoughts. I’m also a major perfectionist, if anything is out of order I freak out. Yes, my room is messy. But I feel a sense of incompleteness and anxiety if I don’t empty the dishwasher, or don’t clean dirty dishes around the sink. These are recent and I feel like God will punish me for committing the sin of laziness. I also have a thing with the number 5, when I touch something it needs to be 5 times and if it’s not 5 times I freak out. I’m also terrified of getting sick, every time my friend is sick I freak out and don’t get near them the entire day, constantly washing my hands. Writing this is triggering a lot of my terrible thoughts and I don’t want to continue writing. Please let me know your thoughts, mental illness runs in my family but my mom is constantly telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe she’s right.

Always feels like I'm back to square one sometimes. I feel really off right now. It doesn't really feel like I can allow myself to fully enjoy something without my intrusive thoughts or anxiety disorders getting in the way. My life wasn't like this before 2020 came along. It was never about worrying about every little thing. It didn't have any worrying at all. There's two things that continue to bother me every single day. My teenage years and pornography. I hated my teenage years because there were a lot of negative things that were going on and being exposed to porn made all of that worse than it already was. There are some good things I can remember, but the bad things are always the overwhelming majority. Porn genuinely messed me up. I don't know what the solution is to move on from all of this besides taking medication. I don't know how to get through all of this naturally and I'm having doubts. I feel like medication is the only way at this point. I just can't stop thinking about anything that would make me anxious and I just can't stop feeling like something bad is going to happen every single day. Whether it's going to sleep and never waking up, having something wrong with my body, or never being able to move on from past hurts. I've been trying to practice coming to terms with my past self and basically being void of any judgement. There's some good days, some great days, and there's some bad days like this one. I just want to enjoy my days but I just get so much junk in my head that I can't basically.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

My 9 year old son has been obsessing over the possibility of having cancer one day. He has broken out in rashes from the stress and upset his thoughts and worries have been causing him. He reassurance seeks by telling me he is scared and that he doesn’t want to have cancer. In turn, I tell him he doesn’t need to worry about that. And I steer him in another direction to try and get his mind focusing on something else instead. Nothing has helped him so far. And he feels like he will never feel happy or better again. It’s so heart breaking watch him suffer with this and not know how to help him correctly.

My ocd is so big right now I fear rabies, if it’s not that I can’t eat because of fear of allergic reaction, or fentanyl anxiety … i just showered twice in a row in 6 hours and had endless rituals and still feeling horrible. Washed the bed still feel it’s contaminated. I’ve been re washing my clothes over and over the last 4 weeks. Now I have only a shirt left to wear. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stop. The biggest is this fear of bats. Tonight I showered again because there was something red on the white towel. Triggered me but i tried ignoring then I put on a sweater and felt something was there ( a bat) you know it could be hiding… then I hear noises that trigger me could be one too. I look in my drawers and kick everything to see if one is hiding in my room or bathroom. Every day changes. Monday I’m great and manage well , Tuesday I toss my entire room in the washer or wash my skin raw. I just showered again and then washed my phone just to see foam on me and my mind immediately bat rabies… I scrubbed so hard I am aching. And another trigger is when I am sad and feel lonely. My relationship is none. I need to find a way out of this misery life of mine.

Hi there, I'm new to this site and just starting therapy with nocd. I have a therapist outside of nocd that specializes in ocd with cognitive behavior therapy, sound baths, rapid eye movement and hypnosis in particular. She is amazing, she doesn't force me to do things that bring me panic, and I have come a long way with allowing myself limited exposure therapy on my own terms. My husband is at the end of the line dealing with my "control" issues with contamination worries. I have begged for couples therapy so he could maybe understand that I didn't choose this and that the panic is so severe that I don't have a choice but to cave into my fears, but he wants no part of it and thinks there is nothing wrong with him or thinks he's been understanding. Backstory is that I had my ocd well managed until I was pregnant with my little one and he was diagnosedwith a heart defect in utero. Diagnosis changed at birth and we were thrown head first into a very serious and immediate trauma. We were life flighted out of state, hand washed like crazy, had complication after complication, no sleep, handed my 5 day old baby over to a surgeon I had met 3 times for open heart surgery. 17 days of living in a hospital and beeping machines and intense fear that goes so far beyond what you could ever imagine as a first time parent. Flash forward to finally coming off ng feeding tube, tongue tie clip, partially paralyzed left diaphragm, oxygen dependent until 4 months old, pulse ox until 9 month old. Back to work at only 3 months. To say it was traumatic is a huge understatement. Flash forward again 3 years, husband hospital and diagnosed with heart failure not to mention how bad things got with worry during covid. I just don't know how to get it through to him how hard I am trying, how much I hate this, how awful the panic attacks are if I don't cave. My most overwhelming fear is of mice and hantavirus and we have had mice problems in out house th3 entire time hes lives here. Remodeled kitchen 3 years ago, so none in the house, but not so confident about the garage and yard. I freak out if he wabts to work in the yard or inbthe garage, make him shower, wash clothes 2-3 times, I clean his path from the door to shower while hes showering and then shower myelf. I want to get better, but he wants it like overnight. Any advise on things that have helped you make people in your life understand where you are coming from and where your heart is? I don't want to end my marriage, but I have been there for him through thick and thin and he's basically giving me an ultimatum that I can't fulfill at this time, and I can't promise him that I will ever be 100% either, but I'm giving all that I can. He thinks I've made zero progress and that I'm not trying at all. I'm feeling lost and sad. It's exhausting andbI know he feels like a prisoner, but I am terrified all the time. I can recognize that it's irrational and mostly unlikely, but hantavirus does kill people and we have that type of mice in our state not too far away. It is not a problem here, but I'm stuck on this fear and I cannot budge from it. It irrational but also not worth my sons life so in my mind totally rational, he's only 6 and getting closer and closer to his 2nd open heart surgery. Sorry, that was a book.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

Anyone else experience breathing OCD? I keep focusing on my breathing and if I’m breathing “correctly” or if I’m getting enough oxygen to my brain or body. It’s scary and annoying. I am hyper fixated on my breathing and if I am lightheaded or other symptoms in case its an emergency. 😭 It sucks.

I've struggled with emetophobia my entire life, and when I was in 4th grade I got the stomach flu and was sick one night. It caused me to have severe intrusive thoughts around eating, being around other people, traveling, not being clean enough, and more. Over 16 years I got so much better, and thought I was basically "recovered". I was wrong 🙃 about 2 weeks ago, I got another stomach bug and was sick (threw up) for the first time since 4th grade and I relapsed back to that point. I've lost more than 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks because I have barely been eating, I've been struggling to go back to work, and I can't go 12 hours without having an anxiety attack.

I've probably been worse than this before, but there are times at the moment I fear for my sanity. I calm myself down, but it's so easy to get myself in state that I'm constantly on edge and can't relax. I recently had a routine cancer test come back negative, and I actually wish at times it had been positive so I could just say goodbye to loved ones and then die quietly - whilst still myself. I know the reality would be nothing like that, as I've seen first-hand what cancer does, but I'm tired and emotional. Still on waiting list for counselling at local practice. Just want to feel normal again.

I have a fear of losing control, and a fear of schizophrenia. so when I feel tired or fatigue or just any emotion really I think it’s a sign I’m going to lose control and then it makes me so anxious to the point I have a panic attack over the feeling of feeling tired. Anytime I feel a change in my body I take that as a sign I’m going to go insane? which makes me feel more anxious and makes it feel more real! Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice:( currently feeling weird and so anxious all cause I feel sleepy/ tired. It’s exhausting

I'm 17,and My mind is obsessed with the idea that I could get a neurological disease and everytime I think it I have to touch a picture of God in my room(I'm Hindu) and it makes me feel safe. I used to pray for 3 hours a night but lately I've been shortening it by saying 'promise to God to pray at exactly 12 and be done by 12:05' for example and this has relieved so much anxiety. Well today, I was really anxious and I decided to put some make up on and quickly take it off before bed but I took it off 1 minute too late and now I'm scared God will punish me because why am I even wanting to practice make up when it's a materialstic thing and this is 'Maya' translated to desires ignorance in my religion. I've gone through so many phases where aive tried to give up Maya and sacrifice things like chocolate, music even studying because it's a desire and I think that by sacrificing this I can make things happen like going to my dream uni. I feel awful right now because I went to pray too late and it was all because of Maya.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

Someone who was sick made food for me but I didn't eat it because they were sick but I don't want to waste the food because that would be disrespectful as they took their time to make it. I just don't want to take the risk of eating it and then getting sick. I hate getting sick. I don't know what to do about this.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get a full nights rest? I had a pretty good afternoon/evening yesterday, yet still found myself waking up every 2-3 hours with anxious thoughts. Also I have this horrible chest pain in the morning, that usually takes me a while to shake. Not sure if that’s contributing to my lack of sleep.