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Can thoughts actually become true? Worried ever since I read it on google. My OCD has gotten really bad since I’ve had 4 pregnancies in the last 3 years. I had a miscarriage stillborn healthy baby and now pregnant again. My mind has gone crazy.

im Catholic and ever since starting highschool and started being scared of what people are thinking. I’m scared that I’m evil and that I praise evil because my ocd is a fear of talking to it so my compulsion is to focuse on talking to something or someone else. But, I keep imagining evil like under the ground and now it feels like I know its personality. And I can’t imagine it as truly evil and I can’t even imagine God anymore. Please help

I experience a few different sup-types… I would say introspectively the most noticeable is Somatic OCD followed by Harm and Contamination. I have been in therapy for 11/12 years… pretty consistently. I heard about this app through some ads, and some friends and family started suggesting I try it. This is my first time using it. I previously did not realize I had OCD. At some point when I was around 16 I thought OCD could be the thing I was experiencing. The understanding of OCD in my general circle of people was limited. When I introduced the possibility of having OCD to others, I was met with the idea that I could not have OCD because I had always been disorganized and “messy”. Otherwise, I was introduced to the concept of “Pure” OCD- which wasn’t entirely fitting for me. I didn’t know, until today, that Somatic OCD was the word for what I was experiencing… along with a few other subtypes that I learned about today. Within the past couple of years I’ve come to realize that I experience symptoms of OCD. I have also come to realize that there is a strong pattern of a variety of OCD subtypes on the paternal side of my family. On the maternal side there is (sparse, compared to paternal side) history of Hoarding Disorder- which I know the DSM now classifies as its own condition within the OCD spectrum. TW: This is the part where I discuss personal symptoms, memories, and behaviors with some detail. Today while filling out the questions for this app— it really ‘sunk-in’ for me that I have been experiencing Somatic OCD for as long as I remember. I can’t say I can pin-point where it started… but I can say one of my earliest, seemingly-random, memories is being 5 years old- In Kindergarten Music Class. We were watching a movie and I suddenly became aware of my breathing. I felt like I wasn’t breathing, but I was getting oxygen… because I wasn’t feeling out of breath. I was very anxious as a child so I cannot recall if in this moment breathing awareness caused anxiety. I do remember thinking (with the vocabulary I had at the time) that it was maybe a cool thing? To breathe without breathing- is this something everyone can do? I’ve always experienced Magical Thinking as well. I also remember being anxious, as a young child, after I learned that we expel CO2 when we breathe out. I was very anxious to breathe in “stale-air” thinking it could harm me. This interacted with Harm symptoms where I obsessively worried about intentionally suffocating myself although I didn’t desire to. As I think back, I remember some of my earliest memories are of me trying to “even-out” some of my body-feelings. If I was playing with a textured toy for a few seconds in one hand, I’d have to switch it to the other until the feeling was the same in both hands. Many times this lead to me counting seconds while holding things, and continuing the ritual until I was inevitably distracted or re-directed. Other early memories of mine include me thinking I could control the weather with my mind. I was very worried that I would accidentally summon a tornado by wishing for it with a passing thought. I would spend hours staring out the window thinking “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t…” hoping that if I accidentally made the wish it would be preceded by negating it. I’m sharing this to cope with the “sinking-in” of it all. I’m looking back at these experiences with a “neutral” lens in the sense that I’m trying to be mindful of feeling triggered, and allow myself to sit with feelings that come up and observe them without trying to push feelings and thoughts away. Obviously it’s a balancing act because I don’t want sitting with my feelings to turn into sitting “in” my feelings and ruminating. Typing things out is helpful for me- I understand my thoughts and feelings better when I hear or read them back. A lot of feelings have come up for me in a short time since downloading this app and filling out the survey. I feel sad for my current, moreover my former and child-self. I feel bummed in general that our understanding of mental-health is/has been limited— I feel bummed that OCD is sneaky like that… Nearly 12 years of therapy, and the reality of experiencing OCD was just so normal to me that I didn’t notice it enough to share. I feel bummed that I didn’t previously have the vocabulary or the skills to be honest and speak about what I was experiencing with consistent detail. I feel sad for my parents and their parents and siblings who experienced similar things. It’s hard sometimes to allow myself to identify “feelings” (emotions) without thinking I’m over-processing it. Like I said, fine line. I do struggle to identify and sit *with* the feelings so it is something I inevitably have to do. So yeah. It’s just kind of wild to think this has been going in for SO LONG. I feel a relieved, having processed it a bit. So I’ll close out and re-direct myself now as this has been a long reflection moment.

I know this is insane but please, PLEASE hear me out. I just need someone to tell me they relate in some way or something. Does anyone else feel like they have some sort of 'magic' that they accidentally manifested from 'wishing' too hard during a traumatic time and can't feel like you can control it now, which is pretty anxiety inducing since it feels like it would make people be able to feel or see your ocd thoughts? Or use your muscle tensing as part of your ocd? Like if you have an intrusive thought while tensing a muscle, you feel like it's going to come true so you have to 'correct' it by thinking a good thought then tense your muscles again? Because I have both of them. :(

Hi everyone, This last week I’ve had so much anxiety that I’m going into psychosis. I have weird intrusive thoughts about contamination and other weird things like if I use my left hand or do anything left something bad will happen or certain numbers mean bad things when counting. My psychiatrist says it’s just anxiety but ever since my anxiety attacks last week I feel so weird and scared that I’m going to go into psychosis or crazy. My family doctor said it’s possible which scared me and now I’m feeling really scared. I started medication again but can’t seem to snap out of it. There have been some amazing people here that have giving my great help and tips. But I just need to be reassured that I won’t follow into psychosis. I know it’s a small percent of people but I’m just so scared. Any help would be great. Even my psychiatrist said I won’t but can’t calm down. Any help would be amazing, thank you!

tl;dr // I feel like my ocd has latched onto the idea of "dont go to bed angry, you never know what could happen and tomorrow isnt promised." and it's really messing with me. One day in high school, my seinor year, I was getting on the bus and I told myself it was going to be a good day.I remeber the morning so vividly. I was listening to my favorite musical at the time and I was practicing trying to be mindful and speak positively at the start of my day to try and have a more positive outlook (a tip I probably got from some instagram info graphic or podcast). That same day, probably in my first or second period, my mom pulled me out of school, frantic, saying that my grandpa had been hospitalized and was critical. We were terrified and we made the 5 hour drive up there. days later, he passed away. I was convinced that me, for the first time, trying to convince myself to have a positive day, somehow influenced the events that led up to my grandfather passing away. I knew then what I know now: words and thoughts cannot manifest real events to happen. I know this, and yet I still catch myself when I think "I'm having a really good day" and hoping I dont jinx myself. All this to say, this type of theme has crept back a little bit today. I got into an argument with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, I got a flood of thoughts saying that since I'm being an ass and bringing up these serious problems that "something bad is going to happen to him at work tomorrow or in his sleep or what if he kills himself or what if there is some freak accident?? You need to apologize for having started the argument and we need to end things better because if not you'll feel guilty and full of regret if something happens, which it will." I told him about it and we apologized to each other and he understood what was happening. we then had a better conversation and we talked and I'm more okay with how things ended until the next time we can pick up the conversation. I think me immediately bringing the argument to a halt because of those thoughts was a compulsion. I also asked him before he fell asleep, if tomorrow could he text me periodically to let me know he is okay, which i also think is reassurance seeking. I recognize this, yet it still feels very necessary and very dangerous if it doesn't happen. how do I even go about trying to find peace with the existence of these thoughts feeling so terrifying and real because of what happened with my grandfather?

I’m an OCD newbie & I’m having a lot of difficulty being able to distinguish what are OCD symptoms that may be atypical or if it’s due to another diagnosis/not something to be worried about. For context, I also have PTSD & suspected Autism- so excuse any excessively literal interpretations. All of my knowledge of OCD is watching Monk when I was child, so give me some grace. 1. “Harm OCD”- I have for as long as I can remember summed up my life purpose as “least amount of harm, most amount of good”. I am constantly thinking about how my actions & inaction may be impacting others. My career is in psych & public health because of that. I noticed I personalized things bc I assumed people thought about this just as much as me- only to find out they don’t. But I only hear examples of harm OCD as being thoughts of like personal persecution or images of hurting others. This is more of a mental analysis of the potential impacts. 2. “Contamination OCD”- Does this need to be literal with germs? I have what I call “emotional contamination”, where if something bad/negative happens, I worry that it’s “ruined”. Like if my partner & I have an argument in bed, I feel like I need to replace the sheets because our argument is “on” the sheets. I’m aware that that is illogical, but I’ll still do it. Every time I’ve had a major trauma, I’ve redecorated my home because I felt like all the negative is “stuck” on my old stuff & it needs to be replaced or I won’t feel better. I’ve ended relationships bc “there’s no getting this off”. 3. “Magical thinking OCD” I like to say that I think a lot of things I don’t believe. I have lots of random thoughts about needing to do something or something bad will happen. The things I need to do are usually really silly- like moving a large rock that’s by itself to a spot with another large rock so it isn’t alone & doesn’t feel lonely. I don’t have the thought that something specifically bad will happen or think I have magical powers. I know it’s nonsense, but I usually do it to stop thinking about it unless it’ll cause harm. Sometimes I also will come up with “tests”, like telling myself if I say XYZ to my partner & they respond in ABC way, then that means they love me. But the thing I’m asking them about could be literally anything. I am frequently *afraid* to ask because they might respond wrong and “ruin” it. 4. “Order & Symmetry OCD” & “Perfection OCD” & “Just Right OCD”- these terms seem to be used kind of interchangeably? I am VERY specific about my stuff. My home is color-coded by room & I won’t buy things that don’t match. I am intensely uncomfortable & can’t stop thinking about it if something doesn’t match. I am STILL thinking about the pink version of my laptop that I didn’t buy 7 years ago & it bothers me that I bought the silver one. I hate when people buy me stuff bc my style is very specific & hard to understand the nuance. There’s a “correct” image in my head & it’s really upsetting when it’s wrong. I flipped out a lot as a child when my stuff was moved and when my parents made design choices for me. I group things in weird ways- there’s an order, but it might be ordered based on how much I like them, how much they remind me of someone, or even more abstract like “if these objects were to run for president, this is the order I think they would be in from liberal to conservative on their view of defunding the police”. I have weird things with numbers, and will buy things based on how “cute” the price is. I would rather pay $440 for something than $399 because it’s a “better” number. I couldn’t tell you anything beyond “vibe”. I’m not sure if these are actually symptoms or just tangentially related & I’m conflating. I may have mis-grouped something. It’s hard to know where to start when nothing seems to have the direct examples of what I experience. Thanks in advance!

Sometimes I feel like I’m not even myself…💀 I’m either 1: possesed 2: Schizophrenic 3: ocd 4: insane

Ever since I was a child, I think around 8 years old, I get these flare ups. I had a fear that I would kill people. I would get so depressed and feel sick to my stomach. I never told anyone for fear that I was crazy. After about 2 weeks or a month, I would start to feel better. Usually something really exciting happening would kick me out of this funk. I went through I really bad episode my first year of college. I finally told my mom and went to see a general doctor. He prescribed me Zoloft 75mg and called it anxiety and depression. Over the years I would have random flair ups but I was usually able to manage them really well and they would go away in a few days. I had my second child in October 2022. At about 3 months postpartum, I had a horrible flair up. Not only was I afraid of harm, I was also now afraid of developing psychosis. I saw my ObGyn and she was asking if I heard voices or if my children looked like animals to me, which further triggered me. I went up on my Zoloft to 150mg and felt better but still always just felt a little lingering under the surface. Now when my daughter turned 1, I had another huge flair up. I finally saw a psychiatrist he said I had an I’m unspecified anxiety disorder with obsessive components but didn’t mean the ocd criteria. We decided to try Prozac. That make me feel so out of it, so we tried Lexapro. Lexapro also gave me horrible anxiety. So, I ended up switching back to Zoloft and have felt better but, like before I still don’t feel all the way better. I started seeing a therapist and she diagnosed me with OCD. So this past week, I have been having what I though was a flair up. Intrusive thoughts about possession and demons/ psychosis. I am afraid to look at my kids for fear that they will look “animal like.” Thoughts pop into my head whenever I see my daughter spacing out or making a strange face or noise and I just say “demon” in my head or “maybe she’s possess” and I fully freak out. I go online to see if this is just a theme of OCD to calm myself down. I just saw a new nurse practitioner psychiatrist (not sure what it’s actually called) and she started talking antipsychotics or inpatient treatment. This obviously sent my anxiety through the roof. I was bawling. She also said an anxiety diagnosis doesn’t fit. And she was saying that psychosis is unlikely but she can’t rule it out. She was thinking severe anxiety. I am at a complete loss. I don’t even know what to think anymore. I feel like shit and I am beyond depressed over this. It feels like I’ll never get better. Any thoughts or recommendations or even stories would be so helpful. Thanks for reading ❤️

I constantly think that if I don't pray to God to protect everyone everyday that something bad will happen because I didn't ask to be protected. It's tiring and it sucks. ☹️

Lately, I've been listening to black metal and death metal, and I really enjoy it. However, a voice inside me says that through these songs, satanic or malevolent musicians are casting spells on the listeners. I feel like I shouldn't listen to these songs because if something bad happens to me or my loved ones because of these spells, I will be responsible. Sometimes, I feel guilty when I listen to these songs, and as I mentioned, I think that the people who create these songs are casting spells on the listeners through them.

I pray not to see sixes. Today at the grocery store as she was totalling up my groceries, I asked God to not have it be 6's specifically 3 of them in a row. But really don't want to see any. The bill was 10.66. So I decided to do erp with 6's but all kinds of bad thoughts and other things came up on the search along with 3 6's. I'm so scared. What if I'm cursed with badness from all of these 6's coming up?

I grew up very Catholic, but maybe that doesn’t matter here. How can I untangle from the thought that every coincidence is a “sign” from god or the universe? This has latched onto so many different areas of my life and now it’s on my daughters health/safety. Reading a story and there is a dead kid in it—must be a sign!! Getting a random name in my head and it’s someone who died—a sign of the worst to come!! Signs, jinxing, manifesting, etc. were always reinforced when I was growing up (and today in some cases too)—“it must be a sign!” Any ideas on how I can untangle from this?

Yesterday I made a post talking about how I suffer from what I consider spiritual OCD. To sum it up I’m an atheist but since so much of religion is just fear based control to keep money flowing into churches, sometimes as a human being the fear will get to me anyway. I talked about how I was stuck ruminating about a demon my mom showed me from the Bible as a child while I was working on my new floors. The spot I worked on while thinking about these things has started to make noise. Here’s what I failed to mention, specifically, it is a sticker made for countertops (self adhesive) and that particular spot I had simply cut around the furniture instead of moving the furniture and putting the sticker flush underneath it. The sticker itself may be pulling, settling, ect. Especially as wood furniture changes throughout the seasons and my air conditioning is actually aimed right at it. That’s the scientific explanation I keep giving myself whenever I hear it. Though the need to scientifically explain everything seems to be compulsive. For the last 4 years I’ve had my tv off. My mom was mostly interested in the tv and when she passed away I had no reason to keep it on. Today I finished the wallpaper part of redecorating my living room. I figured I would complete the look with giving my poor neglected tv a chance. I’m triggered by many things on the tv so I left it on a simple old game show channel. The thought crossed my mind that the show is old and some of those people may not be alive now and my mind for a short moment thought about ghosts but I brushed it off and reminded myself that the tv had been on that channel for many years with no problem and I don’t believe in ghosts anyway, though ocd has me running from them anyway most days. The tv had volume and game shows are game shows, they were blurting out random words. Ofcorse the darn “spooky” floor decided to make its cracking sound when someone on the tv said “counter” It sucks to feel this way it really does. I know it’s irrational to believe a crazy coincidence like this and I don’t believe the demon is bothering my floor, I don’t think it exists in the first place. My initial thought was that the “character” had actually been how someone identified as a Dissociative Identity Disorder alter back in the day before it was scientifically explained and after being traumatized and projected onto by their surrounding religious society, shamed into believing that’s what they were and looked like sadly even though the human who reported this was most likely a survivor of sexual assault. It hadn’t exactly spooked me, but I guess I can say it slightly did, being that the flooring is made for countertops and it creaked when someone on the tv said “counters”. Simply coincidence and confirmation bias but I hate it. A few other examples of this: I’ve also had my bathroom sink turn itself on when I was doing exposure response prevention one time. I had been simply coloring and listening to music at the same time (both things ocd has taken away from me) I couldn’t get my mind off of gypsy rose’s mother and had intrusive thoughts of trying to contact her spirit. I mention again I’m an atheist and these thoughts were stressing me out and annoying me to no avail. So for ERP I simply allowed the thoughts to flow as I listened to the music and colored. Then my bathroom sink started running. I may not be remembering correctly but I think I got up and turned it off, reminded myself I had most likely had it running the entire time and since I was spooked a little decided to turn on some Bluey and lay down, I gave up on my coloring. Bluey can trigger me sometimes being that they say “mom” and “dad” a lot. Both are dead, and so is gypsy’s mom who I had been thinking about. I can’t remember exactly if they’d said mom or dad but almost as if right on cue the sink had turned itself on again! I was truly spooked! It could’ve been a water pressure issue if I hadn’t closed it all the way but I was really afraid. I kept watching Bluey anyway until I eventually fell asleep. Another example, I experience the phenomenon called the idiomotor effect that is marketed as ouija boards, which is the reason I struggle from these things in the first place. My thumbs will twitch, my body moves on its own, ect. I am aware of how it works and that it is my own psychological/subconcious making these movements but it upsets me anyway being that sometimes it will respond to exactly what I don’t want it to respond to for example if there’s a villain on screen during a movie/show ect. One day I had been watching a tiktoker show around an antique shop. I wasn’t scared or anything, just casually watching. I was in a pissy mood and when she mentioned her childhood trauma I rolled my eyes. Her next sentence was “now tell me what the blank blank this is” and my thumb lunged towards the screen on its own, assumigly because I agreed that that was my response to her previous sentence. However when my eyes finally focused on the screen, she was showing what seemed to be a creepy doll, dead fairy, something among that type of thing. This scared me so bad, instant karma for being a bitch but whatever. I had been so spooked thinking about this thing and couldn’t stop thinking about it, I ruminated for hours and hours. Not sure how long later but when I was thinking about it there was a VERY loud bang coming from my kitchen. It started the living heck out of me and I was terrified and convinced that it was the curse/spirit connected to this object or the ghost of whatever creature it could have been. I was terrified and it took me a while to calm down and move on from the incident. I never figured out what the sound was, it was pretty late at night. Later that morning my neighbor slammed her door pretty loud (I live in an apartment) which made me think it could’ve been that but when I had heard it the first time I swore it came from my own apartment. I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in any of these things however when these things happen to me I can’t help but feel afraid anyway. I get annoyed at my own incompetence to stand my ground about my beliefs. Simple things like this trip me up so bad and I’m so frustrated. It all seems to be confirmation bias, creepy things seem to happen when thinking about creepy things. I’m worried that as a fawn response I become Stuck being indoctrinated, compulsively being forced to pray and spiritually cleanse when I’m afraid enough because my nervous system goes wild and I can’t help it. It’s embarrassing and stressful.

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

I think this is magical thinking but I’m not 100% sure. I get really scared and think all of my loved ones will die in a car accident. Especially if they’re running an errand for me or coming to visit me then it’s like 100% more likely for them to get in a car wreck because it was FOR ME. Or if I’m with my family members and one wants to drive to get food, etc I feel like I HAVE to go WITH them in order to prevent a car crash from happening and them dying. Like if I stay home then I’m ensuring their death? Does this make sense? Anyone else relate? What on earth is it?! It’s constant and automatic and everyday.

Yall. Does your ocd make you become so scared of depression, that your imagination tricks you into thinking you’re depressed?! Cause I know I’m not depressed ( I think) I love my life my family sports and I’m constantly just wanting to be busy. But sometimes my imagination tricks me into thinking I’m feeling depressed. I also think I’m an empath, and lots of my friends are real deal depressed. So my mind is questioning itself, even though there is no reason to. I look forward to the future, have fun with my family, yet I feel like the trying to feel depressed to prepare yourself to feel depressed is almost a constant. Also usually these trying to feeling depressed episodes flare up when we are doing fun things. Like eating out or spending time together. The only time that I don’t fall into a mind trick is when I’m playing sports. My mind sometimes can be clear a whole day and suddenly we do something all together that’s nice and the fear of depression fear of myself flares up! Anyone else relate?

Hi all! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and possibly share your thoughts... I have had OCD for 50 years. Mostly magical thinking and scrupulosity. It has gotten better at times and at others, like now, it is unbearable. I'm supposed to take a very fun trip in January. I was very excited to plan. But when we were talking about flying, I started to have extremely scary thoughts and feelings in the pit of my stomach. Everything seems like an omen that I shouldn't go. Everything is planned and purchased. My husband would not understand me not wanting to fly. I have flown before, which makes this feeling I have seem so ominous. I can't shake it and everything that I do, I think is a sign even if it doesn't connect. What can I do? Has anyone felt this? I feel desperate...why would I feel like this? I hate my brain. I want this to just be OCD and not an evil sign of doom...I'm so, so sad and scared. I will take any advice from you friends... I'm so sorry if you have anything like this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy...

I tell people my situation, they say it's nothing big or it's fine, I was a teenager. I still feel awful, magically thinking that the persons going to change their mind and expose me to the world that I'm an awful person even though they said I had no affect on them whatsoever. I feel guilty to admit I've shared it with numerous people, whether a little older or the same age, never younger because I feel uncomfortable talking to younger people. Still, everyone says I did nothing wrong and there's nothing to worry about, but I'm more concerned about the fact I feel like I truly did something horrible, I feel like what if someone's enabling my actions, even though they say they're being honest. I feel awful, and I know I have to sit with discomfort and all that bad stuff, but truly I feel disgusting. I've isolated myself for weeks, and I just don't want to hurt the other person, it's made me question my own intentions too. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like my mistakes are worse than anyone else on this app or in the world.

I have the urge to keep repeating the same prayer so that my dad will never get cancer and I have the urge to do it in specific places and It has to be right now and I'm scared the second I got to sleep with urge unfulfilled Im going to regret