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I saw a post saying that thinking about something for a while will bring it to you. Now I’m scared and panicking because I think about illnesses and getting a disease almost everyday. What should I do? Im very scared

My life has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on. I (15M) did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect. I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. How can I ever move on?Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.

Hey, I’ve been doing some research on OCD and think I may have it. I’m not 100% sure, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I want to get myself diagnosed, but my parents won’t let me. They agree that it’s very likely that I have OCD, but they think that if I try hard enough, I can get over it. I don’t know what to do anymore or if what I have even is OCD, and I want to be somewhat sure before a I do anything. Right now, I’m a junior in high school, but freshman year was when my “OCD” was the most severe. I think I had (and still do) the symmetry/order subtype and “just right” subtype. I was obsessed with writing things neatly to a point in which I kept forcing myself to erase and rewrite things until all the letters were straight and all the graphs were neatly drawn (typing wasn’t safe either because I use Notability and felt the need to align every text box and make them all the same length). Handwriting was especially a problem in calculus A, and it got to a point in which I couldn’t keep up with the notes, and the homework was taking hours a night because I was obsessed with making my work perfect. Needless to say, I didn’t get a good grade in calculus A and didn’t build a good foundation for future math classes. This makes me really sad because I was previously really good at math and had a bright future in the subject. Eventually, I just stopped trying in calculus A, but by then, I felt burnt out, couldn’t concentrate on anything, kept putting things off, and lost the ability to properly manage my time. I think it may have escalated to executive dysfunction at that point, and it carried over to all my other classes. As someone who was previously pretty productive and good at planning, this was a huge hit on my self-esteem. I was also obsessed with symmetry. If I touched one side of my body, I had to touch the other side in the exact same place. If I was coding something, I would have to evenly distribute touch across each key on the keyboard. It felt like everything was a heatmap, and the colors had to be kept in balance at all times. I also avoided odd numbers because they were considered “asymmetrical”. I was obsessed with routine and had to complete tasks in a certain way, a certain order, and a certain amount of time. Even something as small as combing my hair for five minutes instead of six caused me extreme distress. Writing one word that “sounded off” on an English paper left me unable to keep writing until I fixed it. I had to keep the sound of my phone at a certain volume (6 normally, 10 when exercising, and 12 when cleaning, divide everything by 2 when using a computer) and had to walk a round number (any number that ends in 0) of steps a day. I kid you not when I say that some days I woke up and didn’t want to live anymore. Sophomore year, my mental health improved and I probably seemed overly perfectionistic but not to a point of concern. However, this year, the handwriting issue relapsed in all its glory during physics, and I’m not able to keep up with notes or homework. I feel the same way that I did in calculus A, and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I want to ask my teacher to let me do my homework on paper rather than the iPad (it’s easier for me to write on paper due to increased friction), but I’m scared to ask because I don’t have a formal diagnosis. I don’t know what causes my behavior. I feel like if I can’t do things perfectly, no one will like me. I’ll lose all my friends, and no boy will ever want to go out with me. I know it’s irrational. Literally no one cares what my notes look like or how long I spend on each step of my morning routine or whatever, but I constantly feel like people are judging me and will hate me the second I mess up. There are two more times in my life that I can think of when I displayed symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD when I was 9 and pure/religious/magical thinking/health concern OCD (they all just kind morphed together) when I was 11. I can go into more detail if you wish. As of now, I just want to know my behavior sounds like OCD, and if so, how to more forward. If not, I would love to know what I do have and how to treat it. Thank you so much.

Can thoughts actually become true? Worried ever since I read it on google. My OCD has gotten really bad since I’ve had 4 pregnancies in the last 3 years. I had a miscarriage stillborn healthy baby and now pregnant again. My mind has gone crazy.

im Catholic and ever since starting highschool and started being scared of what people are thinking. I’m scared that I’m evil and that I praise evil because my ocd is a fear of talking to it so my compulsion is to focuse on talking to something or someone else. But, I keep imagining evil like under the ground and now it feels like I know its personality. And I can’t imagine it as truly evil and I can’t even imagine God anymore. Please help

I know this is insane but please, PLEASE hear me out. I just need someone to tell me they relate in some way or something. Does anyone else feel like they have some sort of 'magic' that they accidentally manifested from 'wishing' too hard during a traumatic time and can't feel like you can control it now, which is pretty anxiety inducing since it feels like it would make people be able to feel or see your ocd thoughts? Or use your muscle tensing as part of your ocd? Like if you have an intrusive thought while tensing a muscle, you feel like it's going to come true so you have to 'correct' it by thinking a good thought then tense your muscles again? Because I have both of them. :(

I’m an OCD newbie & I’m having a lot of difficulty being able to distinguish what are OCD symptoms that may be atypical or if it’s due to another diagnosis/not something to be worried about. For context, I also have PTSD & suspected Autism- so excuse any excessively literal interpretations. All of my knowledge of OCD is watching Monk when I was child, so give me some grace. 1. “Harm OCD”- I have for as long as I can remember summed up my life purpose as “least amount of harm, most amount of good”. I am constantly thinking about how my actions & inaction may be impacting others. My career is in psych & public health because of that. I noticed I personalized things bc I assumed people thought about this just as much as me- only to find out they don’t. But I only hear examples of harm OCD as being thoughts of like personal persecution or images of hurting others. This is more of a mental analysis of the potential impacts. 2. “Contamination OCD”- Does this need to be literal with germs? I have what I call “emotional contamination”, where if something bad/negative happens, I worry that it’s “ruined”. Like if my partner & I have an argument in bed, I feel like I need to replace the sheets because our argument is “on” the sheets. I’m aware that that is illogical, but I’ll still do it. Every time I’ve had a major trauma, I’ve redecorated my home because I felt like all the negative is “stuck” on my old stuff & it needs to be replaced or I won’t feel better. I’ve ended relationships bc “there’s no getting this off”. 3. “Magical thinking OCD” I like to say that I think a lot of things I don’t believe. I have lots of random thoughts about needing to do something or something bad will happen. The things I need to do are usually really silly- like moving a large rock that’s by itself to a spot with another large rock so it isn’t alone & doesn’t feel lonely. I don’t have the thought that something specifically bad will happen or think I have magical powers. I know it’s nonsense, but I usually do it to stop thinking about it unless it’ll cause harm. Sometimes I also will come up with “tests”, like telling myself if I say XYZ to my partner & they respond in ABC way, then that means they love me. But the thing I’m asking them about could be literally anything. I am frequently *afraid* to ask because they might respond wrong and “ruin” it. 4. “Order & Symmetry OCD” & “Perfection OCD” & “Just Right OCD”- these terms seem to be used kind of interchangeably? I am VERY specific about my stuff. My home is color-coded by room & I won’t buy things that don’t match. I am intensely uncomfortable & can’t stop thinking about it if something doesn’t match. I am STILL thinking about the pink version of my laptop that I didn’t buy 7 years ago & it bothers me that I bought the silver one. I hate when people buy me stuff bc my style is very specific & hard to understand the nuance. There’s a “correct” image in my head & it’s really upsetting when it’s wrong. I flipped out a lot as a child when my stuff was moved and when my parents made design choices for me. I group things in weird ways- there’s an order, but it might be ordered based on how much I like them, how much they remind me of someone, or even more abstract like “if these objects were to run for president, this is the order I think they would be in from liberal to conservative on their view of defunding the police”. I have weird things with numbers, and will buy things based on how “cute” the price is. I would rather pay $440 for something than $399 because it’s a “better” number. I couldn’t tell you anything beyond “vibe”. I’m not sure if these are actually symptoms or just tangentially related & I’m conflating. I may have mis-grouped something. It’s hard to know where to start when nothing seems to have the direct examples of what I experience. Thanks in advance!

Sometimes I feel like I’m not even myself…💀 I’m either 1: possesed 2: Schizophrenic 3: ocd 4: insane

I constantly think that if I don't pray to God to protect everyone everyday that something bad will happen because I didn't ask to be protected. It's tiring and it sucks. ☹️

I pray not to see sixes. Today at the grocery store as she was totalling up my groceries, I asked God to not have it be 6's specifically 3 of them in a row. But really don't want to see any. The bill was 10.66. So I decided to do erp with 6's but all kinds of bad thoughts and other things came up on the search along with 3 6's. I'm so scared. What if I'm cursed with badness from all of these 6's coming up?

I grew up very Catholic, but maybe that doesn’t matter here. How can I untangle from the thought that every coincidence is a “sign” from god or the universe? This has latched onto so many different areas of my life and now it’s on my daughters health/safety. Reading a story and there is a dead kid in it—must be a sign!! Getting a random name in my head and it’s someone who died—a sign of the worst to come!! Signs, jinxing, manifesting, etc. were always reinforced when I was growing up (and today in some cases too)—“it must be a sign!” Any ideas on how I can untangle from this?

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

I think this is magical thinking but I’m not 100% sure. I get really scared and think all of my loved ones will die in a car accident. Especially if they’re running an errand for me or coming to visit me then it’s like 100% more likely for them to get in a car wreck because it was FOR ME. Or if I’m with my family members and one wants to drive to get food, etc I feel like I HAVE to go WITH them in order to prevent a car crash from happening and them dying. Like if I stay home then I’m ensuring their death? Does this make sense? Anyone else relate? What on earth is it?! It’s constant and automatic and everyday.

I tell people my situation, they say it's nothing big or it's fine, I was a teenager. I still feel awful, magically thinking that the persons going to change their mind and expose me to the world that I'm an awful person even though they said I had no affect on them whatsoever. I feel guilty to admit I've shared it with numerous people, whether a little older or the same age, never younger because I feel uncomfortable talking to younger people. Still, everyone says I did nothing wrong and there's nothing to worry about, but I'm more concerned about the fact I feel like I truly did something horrible, I feel like what if someone's enabling my actions, even though they say they're being honest. I feel awful, and I know I have to sit with discomfort and all that bad stuff, but truly I feel disgusting. I've isolated myself for weeks, and I just don't want to hurt the other person, it's made me question my own intentions too. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like my mistakes are worse than anyone else on this app or in the world.

I have the urge to keep repeating the same prayer so that my dad will never get cancer and I have the urge to do it in specific places and It has to be right now and I'm scared the second I got to sleep with urge unfulfilled Im going to regret

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well . I am not sadly. Idk what to do at this point in my life and it’s really scary. My family seems to not get it really but idk how to explain what I’m going through . So basically I had an uncle and I have many cousins with schizophrenia. All of them don’t take meds and have went off the grid with my family or have passed . I am so unbelievably scared of getting it that I can’t live my life without being scared everyday. I have had so many thoughts and dreams and a lot of come true(no joke) and I’m like oh shit that means I’m delusional and I’m having delusional thoughts and now it’s taking over my dreams and it just doesn’t make sense to me. I am very scattered brain 24:7 I feel I can’t talk or speak right, I keep going through not feeling real or right and I’ll be talking to my family and my brain will be like “ what if this is a hallucination and you’re talking to yourself”. I’m EXHAUSTED to the max and most I’ve ever been. Idk what’s going on with me. I’ve also always been a superstitious person because weird shit was always happening or strangely a “coincidence” that even my family would be like wtf is going on with that. And I never understood it as a child, but I’m so so so sooo scared bc of that and what I deal with now that I’m developing it. And I need help.

TW for mental health issues, death, ptsd, ED i guess ill just start off by saying that i have struggled since i was young with severe anxiety and panic attacks since i was about five but an onslaught of CPTSD worsened a lot of things for me. i developed an eating disorder in my teens and was hospitalized for it. i’ve been in and out of therapy since i was ten and while i do my best without medication to live my life to the fullest, i often feel like i don’t deserve the successes and support i’ve received in the last few years b/c i feel like i don’t deserve to be happy at all. i saw a video recently of a girl talking about her obsessive hypochondriac thoughts that i resonated with and when i read the comments, a lot of people pointed out that it might be ocd. it hasn’t ever been a thought that crossed my mind and now im wondering if im twisting that video into some sort of self diagnosis for myself. im wondering if it’s just my high anxiety that’s causing these severely intrusive thoughts. for example, i have had a really hard time sleeping recently because the thought that i or my partner might die in my sleep keeps me up. if i have an aneurysm or a heart attack in the middle of the night and die, or worse, if my partner has an aneurysm or heart attack, is it because i don’t deserve to be happy with him? i don’t deserve a wonderful relationship? another thought i have is when i drive with us both in the car, im going to crash and severely injure both of us or kill us both. i have never once crashed my car or gotten into an accident btw, but for some reason i just get this extremely morbid thought that im going to crash and it’ll be the end. i had a weirdly spiritual experience/revelation in 2020/21 about the multiverse and i keep thinking that every night i actually die or that i get into accidents or something morbid happens and im somehow timeline jumping and going to a different multiverse and that’s been my odd way of coping with these thoughts. i guess im just trying to figure out if this is even remotely similar to OCD or if im just over analyzing it bc of my anxiety/hypochondria i guess?? i dont know i just want help. if this isn’t OCD, please tell me and i will delete this post and app and ill sincerely apologize to everyone who actually suffers. 🙏

Recently I’ve come back to God, specially Christianity. I prayed and wrote to God for a sign concerning a mistake I made, and put within this letter for him to show me a yellow car if everything is going to be ok. Kid you not, same day I see a yellow truck parked while driving. I believe I was answered but my mind keeps nagging me I wasn’t. Do you think this is the devil and ocd trying to downplay what I prayed and wrote to God for? I know you shouldn’t ask for signs and wonders, but I desperately needed one.

I don't. OCD has its pitfalls, its horrors, and its crippling themes. But why do I have to constantly focus on its harmful symptoms in order to overcome its harmful symptoms? My experience with OCD forced me to perseverate on so many meaningless things. Even worse, it forced me to RUMINATE on shameful, terrifying, and traumatic memories, thoughts, and feelings. I've obsessed over religion and morality, sexual orientation, cleanliness and illnesses. When I was in my teens, undiagnosed OCD lead me down the dreadful path of anorexia and bulimia. I was obsessed with my weight and fitness. I was thinking magically, forcing myself to knock three times on bona-fide wood with my right hand only to stop myself from jinxing something. I sometimes still repeat prayers, asking God to show me a sign regarding some unforeseeable event in the unknown distant future. I would say "God, if I'm going to get fired from work today, then let me find a parking spot!" Needless to say, I always found a parking spot and then went into work shaking like a leaf all day. Looking back, I wager that that alone helped me be one of the lowest performing employees in the lot. And oh boy, was I frightened as all get-out when I thought - believed - I was HOMOSEXUAL! (The audience gasps). What if, though, I wasn't homosexual... What if I was worse? What if I wanted to hurt... God, please no. I can't stop. It won't stop. MAKE IT STOP! How do I stop this? I have no idea. I need to learn how to stop this. I need to learn. I need to learn everything. If I don't KNOW FOR SURE, then how can I BE sure that I am none of those things? How can I be sure nothing bad will happen? Maybe... Just maybe, I can Google the answer. I just have to be smart while doing research... (12 hours and many BS websites later) By this time, I haven't eaten, showered, brushed my teeth, slept, or drank water. I would crawl up and out of isolated research, checking, rechecking, rereading and reassuring myself... Only to later find out that my attempts at quelling the insatiable obsessions were in vain. My compulsive activities only bolstered my fears, and I lost all of my insight, leaving me paranoid and almost clinically psychotic. I felt hopeless, and so I drank into oblivion. Only when I was sloshed and seeing stars did I find peace and sleep (albeit very dissatisfying sleep, and the peace was just a lie I told myself until I believed it). I took medication that doctors told me would help, but I drank away all the benefits of those prescriptions. On the other hand... Did you know that anxiety is not just an emotion, but an instinct? We adapted it throughout evolution to help us survive before civilization. If you are a creationist, the idea still stands: it is an alarm that warms us when the enemy is near. Isn't that nifty information. I wonder how I can use that... Did you also know that perseveration is the umbrella term used for multiple psychological diagnoses that means to fixate on one thing - emotion, thoughts, or external things - for longer than normal periods of time? It's associated with autism, ADHD, OCD and other anxiety disorders, depression, and more. Fancy that. You know... now that I'm sober and continuing therapy, I look back on the dreadful days wasted obsessing over themes of my own design, acting compulsively to eliminate them only to find out I made them stronger, and I realize that I've actually learned quite a lot of useful information. Through compulsive checking, I accidentally learned how deeply rooted OCD is in my genes. Instead, I was trying to learn the signs of being 100% gay. Now I realize that I'm just some bisexual dude with anxiety. I also learned that mindfulness meditation isn't just a Buddhist idea. It actually spans across every continent, every culture, in different forms. Pacific Island cultures practiced a form of meditation where a person would focus their gaze on a single point, without looking away. Blinking was necessary, of course, but their goal was to notice things in their periphery, as muted and blurry as those things might be. How amazing is that? I don't want to beat OCD, but I certainly do not want to let OCD overtake me again. I would say that "OCD once beat me", but it didn't. If it truly won, then I wouldn't be able to share this with anyone. I wouldn't be able to look back and say to myself "That experience taught me a lot about myself and the nature of OCD." Today, I can share my experiences and knowledge with others and I can say with 100% certainty that there is hope. The light at the end of the tunnel does not need to be checked and turned off and on multiple times. Instead, it can be what it is - the light at the end of the tunnel. So, I've quit drinking for good. I am continuing therapy, and I am aiming to restart medication management on top of all that. OCD may have taken a lot of time, energy, and health from me in the past, and as much as I WANT to completely get rid of it... I can't. It is a terminal diagnosis... So, how can I use it to benefit others? Well, I'm doing that right now by writing this. If it has become an issue, then that is okay. Asking for help does not mean defeat; it means refusal to give up. Embrace the unknown, and go forward fearlessly.

Hi, can someone please told me how to dealt with compulsions i been avoiding a lot of music because if i listen to some songs someting bad will happend