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I've always had trouble completing tasks without procrastinating or just feeling stuck and unable to do anything. My psychiatrist suspects ADHD, but I haven't been diagnosed. Still, I need to figure out how to manage this issue of mine better. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice? I don't know if this is an OCD issue or what... Part of it may be, since I create unnecessary requirements for myself in order to do things. For example, before I do any work, I need to eat. I watch something while I eat, and then I need to let the food settle before I start anything, and the list keeps going. It's been like this for YEARS, but it's become more of an issue as I've gotten older. I've always had high grades, but it's just sitting down, getting started, and staying seated that I struggle with. I'm guilty of checking my phone a lot and getting distracted with things that have NOTHING to do with the tasks at hand. I just have no idea what to do... I feel guilty about this. In the past, I've tried following schedules, but I can never keep on one 🥲 I'm going to continue to try things, but I thought I'd ask here to see if anyone had advice?

With all the unintentional and intentional harm ive done, I keep thinking about the girl I like... she told me recently she felt scared for me because of my mental health decline, and I cant even tell her anything about my real events or my intrusive thoughts, because she would likely call me a disgusting freak, a perverted weirdo, or both... I genuinely hate living right now... I can't stand myself... When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl at our school's explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 18, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to when I was 19... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I unintentionally hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... You said you made mistakes when you were a teen... these were my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope all you dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here...

I have recently switched themes and now I have like 6 emails 4 old ones and 2 new I created to keep everything organized because one of the emails started getting a lot of adult content spam and I felt gross and that made me feel like that email is messed up now so I need to transfer everything over and delete unused accounts and separate emails for shopping and social media and then when I forget and use the wrong account for social media I want to start over all over again and create another email because what if that email gets sold and gets gross spam.Also when I have a image pop up in my head I don’t like I think to take a shower to reset or clean to reset the area I’m in.Are all of these things ocd?please help.Im out of therapy atm and I don’t know what any of this means.

What are mistakes? I have a set of values. My speech or actions contradict those values. I feel deep remorse and disappointment in myself afterwards. Logically, it would make sense to truly feel the remorse, let it impact you, and say, “I wish I didn’t do that. I wish it didn’t happen. Not because it would relieve the guilt I feel now, but because it was genuinely wrong.” Where people go wrong is forgetting the “I”. After stating this, they’ll go back to feeling that remorse, and beat themselves up because they identify with the version of them that’s actively making the mistake. But the very fact those sentences exist from the mouth of that person shows that who they are in this moment isn’t who they were then. The “I” in the statement. Who is that referring to? Certainly not the person before the mistake. If it was, the mistake wouldn’t have happened. So, if you’re now someone else, that wouldn’t do those things, why are you putting yourself down as if you’re still that person? Are those “I”s in the statement nobody? But maybe you knew it was wrong when you were doing it! If you knew the extent to which it was actually harmful, you still wouldn’t have done it. You had the knowledge of it being wrong, but there wasn’t emotion involved. Remorse associates feeling with that knowledge. You begin to feel empathetic for whoever you harmed. This empathy, when felt healthily, and not ignored- is a tool. It’s so that next time you’re in that situation you can feel the effect you’ll have on the person and not do it. Empathy creates the opportunity for you to learn and become more emotionally intelligent, sensitive, and moral. I’ve used this tool all wrong. Feeling bad for what you’ve done is an opportunity. It allows you to grow and become more empathetic. It allows you to change who you are by saying “I…” Imagine if you didn’t feel remorse. How would you ever learn? That would be worse. Thank God for remorse Remorse should be used wisely. To allow for genuine moments of growth, to come back when placed in the same situation again. When the lesson is learnt, remorse has served its purpose. Any further berating serves no positive cause. It can only be used as an excuse. “I’m so bad, there’s no hope for me to be good”. I learnt this idea from Rabbi Akiva T. Maybe there’s a chemical imbalance which causes you to ruminate on your mistakes. Whatever it is, guilt is not meant to be a punishment. It’s a tool. When you regret what you’ve done, you literally become a different person. The you that understands what you understand now simply wouldn’t have made that mistake. Tests are your desire to do something v.s your knowledge that it’s wrong. Remorse allows you to empower the latter for future situations. Sometimes we cling to self deprecation. That's all we know. You can’t just rip it out. It’ll show itself from time to time. Just know that’s a force of habit. Your true essence is still good. The truths are still true. You’re. Not. A. Bad. Person. All I know is that the “me” right now does the right thing. Don’t let remorse hold you back from changing the world. Use it like the tool it is, then let it go. If it comes back, wave at it. Smile. “You helped me, you’ve served your purpose.” Don’t let the growth go unused. Don’t let it be for nothing. Use the new, sensitive you to bring good to those around you. Don’t let the remorse hold back the good that came from it. You’re free. You’re weightless. You can change the world for the better. So do it :)

Hi, I'm new here, I'm about to go into my second year of college, and I've been reflecting quite a bit on my relationships over the summer. I get these really loud intrusive thoughts all the time that I'm exploiting my friends/partner and that if I don't mask my "true intentions" they will abandon me. I feel like I never do enough for them and when I do try I just end up messing up or just making the situation worse. I just want to know if anyone else experiences this? If so, any advice? I'm thinking about seeking advice from my psychiatrist and psychologist about more thoughts I will not get into on here. Thanks!

OCD has done a lot of damage in my life. It made my high school experience miserable, it made things rough for my freshman year of college and it negatively affected my first relationship recently. I have gotten better with finding better copping mechanisms and I thought I had everything handled entering my first relationship in February. However after a month in, I kept overthinking stuff. I kept having “what if’s” pop into my head and I would try to fight it but it didn’t make things better. I kept worrying about stuff with my ex, even overthinking her bad days when she was more reserved. I went to her friends for advice on handling things and trying to understand her. I have talked to her about my OCD and she was supportive of me and understanding. I just didn’t want to annoy her when she was dealing with a lot her freshman year of college. I knew her friends wanted the best for us and became closer to me, but in the times I was panicked, I over shared stuff about our relationship. My ex found out about it over the summer. I told her months prior that I’ve gone to her friends once before just for advice on things and she had no issues with that. Regardless, I handled things poorly even with good intentions. I went to her friends for advice a good few times and the reassurance didn’t make things better. It was like a drug that helped me in the moment. Communication issues caused things to go downhill with my ex and I and it sucks. I kept feeling like I had to be perfect for her and I can’t make a single mistake or she would end things, but she loved me for everything I am, even my flaws. I just put so much pressure on myself. We both hope to be with each other in the future and know we can come back together stronger. I just feel guilt and shame for my mistakes and I don’t want to make them again and feel better about being with her. She didn’t do anything to make me feel pressure. She’s a very no bs type of person as her first relationship didn’t go well as she was badly mistreated.

Whenever I get in an argument I can never tell if I’m exaggerating, being over the top, or if I’m being reasonable. I can’t tell if I’m standing up for myself or if I’m being stubborn. It feels like I either think I’m wrong and stupid and bad for being wrong, or I’m right and everyone else is wrong, stupid and bad…

I love my generation (I'n Gen Z), but I feel like we lack so much nuance. I find it really stressful. I feel like on social media, I just see black and white thinking. It's really odd too because I see a lot of people make hypocritical statements too. For example, someone will say that ChatGBT should never be used because of its environmental harm but they also use TikTok that causes a LOT of environmental harm too. I don't use ChatGBT, but I wanted more insight into this anyway and I found that both users release a lot of carbon. So, I think its weird for people on TikTok to judge a user who might be asking a few questions when they spend hours scrolling which easily causes significant environmental harm. (Note: one ChatGBT question is 0.3-4 grams of CO2 and one minute on Tik Tok is 2 grams of CO2; meaning 10 ChatGBT questions is at most 40 grams of CO2 but thirty minutes of TikTok is 60 grams of CO2-- the average teen spends 4.5 hours on TikTok) Also, just people saying if you do "XYZ you're bad!" or videos "exposing" another person, but then also claim to care a lot about being open-minded, understanding, or internet safety. I think its really stressful because it feels confusing to hear someone say "This is bad!" but then they also do the exact same thing in another way. It makes me feel confused about what I do in my day to day life. Is anyone else also stressed about this and feel like its making them sick or their OCD flare up?

My OCD is playing whack a mole but I can’t even tell if it’s OCD anymore or if I’m just a horrible person. I made a joke when my friend mentioned a video game and I replied “gooner game” and then went “just kidding” (me and one of my friends in that group typically joke like this) My other friend said “eww” and started laughing, and even if the vibes were lighthearted I now I feel like I’m a weird creep. I’m worried I should have kept my mouth shut bc the other friend is younger than me (they’re not a minor). And even then, I feel like I still majorly overstepped and feel gross. Esp because im the oldest of the group and I should be leading by example. I’m so grossed out at myself for saying such an awful thing. I’m spiraling yet again. Ugh

Everyday I’m faced with different issues. I live in another state, but had to come home for a loss in the family. With dealing with the loss, now I’m having to deal with overworking after getting off work (WFH) to ensure my mother’s home remains clear of bed bugs left over from visiting family members that keep coming over to check on us. WTFFF! I’m exhausted when I get off work and these SAME family members’ keep showing up. Mom has politely talked to them about it by which they all started blaming the other and being in denial about the bugs being in their room, but instead in another member’s room (it’s a family of 9 people living in a 4 bedroom house). They have had these bed bugs for YEARSSSSS and that’s why I stopped visiting them. Whenever I did visit it wasn’t long at all and I stood up the entire time even after they constantly offer me a seat. We’ve told them about the bugs twice and it’s like they’re just disregarding what we are saying. They show up with their purses sitting all over the couch. Moving from the couch to the dining room table chairs just honestly all over the house. I feel sorry for them, but tired of having to keep steam cleaning every day they come over. I’ve offered to help them clean their place and they say okay, but never tell me when to come. How are they constantly getting bit by bugs and it’s not effecting? Is it possible to become immune to their bites? Well this is my mom’s home and I’m doing the best to keep it clean while I’m here, but the countdown is on until I go back home. If she don’t put her foot down and not worry about their feelings her house is going to be full infested like theirs. How would you handle this situation?

It’s been a minute since I have been on here. I did get NOOCD therapist session a while back to verify if I really had OCD. I was told it sounded like I had “just right” OCD. Of course, temporary relief only with that confirmation which are two professional takes on my situation. You think that would be enough for my brain. If I detect even the slightest doubt in someone’s voice on my ADHD/OCD diagnosis then It messes with me. I lost my Dad last month. I was taking care of him the best I could but I replay events. HOWEVER, I am on Adderall and when it quiets my default brain network I handle life without crying. I think about what I am doing but as it wears off then I am back to thinking about everything I don’t want to think about. Adderall for me confuses me if it’s right. Especially, when so much of my life is still a disorganized mess. I think it’s making me kinda detached from people. I don’t know that I feel things the way I should be that’s healthy. What breaks through the Adderall in my mind is I default to questioning my diagnosis again. I use to not believe I had ADHD, then didn’t believe I had OCD. I fully accepted ADHD but now I am questioning if it’s actually all OCD after all and being medicated completely wrong. I notice this has gotten worse, plus I am doing this gathering of things. People gave me or I found a great deal on. All with the intention of listing on eBay YET nothings organized and when I sit down to list then nothing happens. I can’t get things in my environment or mind just right to list. I get hung up on photos not being good enough plus everything else with double checking my entries being right. Then I don’t list because I doubt it’s good enough. I had this problem before my Dad passed away but everything’s off the charts right now I guess. My mother called me a hoarder. I have accumulated things faster than my abilities to organize and sell them has occurred but at least it’s all in a shop and not my house. She’s always been the worst for my self esteem. I guess I am mainly just venting here. I am sure OCD would flare up worse after loss of a parent. I just feel like the wheels have come off and don’t know how to gain control.

I feel like my life is shifting for the better possibly because I’m finally taking myself seriously. However, I simultaneously feel like im so far behind compared to my peers. It’s like i have to fail multiple times in order for me to understand the importance of my future. Everything I do needs to be perfect and if it’s not I am never satisfied - whether it’s school work, appearance, or even everyday tasks. Then I keep reflecting on old memories and it’s very difficult. An old ocd tic is coming back where whenever I get a “cringey” or “unwanted” thought about myself I have to say a phrase out loud to get rid of it. Lately lot of my compulsions are old and new ones. For example, I compulsed and confessed to everyone in my extended family about my ocd because I thought it’d make them understand me more but it doesn’t. I overshared and over explained far too much to them as I usually do to anyone I talk to. I’m constantly over apologizing. Ill be driving, hit a bump, and think I ran someone over or a family or a pregnant woman and I’ll be pulled over. I keep getting detailed imagery of me getting crushed in my car. If I kill a bug I’m convinced I will pay for it in some way or another and karma will get to me even if I feel bad. I delete and redownload the same 3 social media apps every day. I’m pretty sure I have an addiction to pornography and I want it to stop. No other girl deals with this. Someone on here said on one of my posts reguarding relationship ocd before that I might have bpd and now this is really weighing on me. I can’t stop googling abt it. I feel stupid because I could have it so much worse like other people on this planet do and yet here I am. I have the privilege to log onto this app and complain about my troubles while someone else is worried about if they’re going to eat tonight. I feel incredibly selfish and small when I express myself because people usually think I’m too much it seems. I don’t like people in my generation (gen z) because social media has triggered my lcd and it feeds this idea to people that other people are easily accessible or disposable at any given point - you give someone a follow/unfollow button and now they feel entitled to you. I want to be left alone and not perceived by anyone because no one will ever fully understand me. All I want is to be a peaceful person, an amazing psychiatrist, an educated and healthy woman, who people will take seriously. I just feel like my goals are impossible because I keep messing up and struggling with staying consistent. I sometimes wish I could be someone else so I could take this pressure off me. I’m sorry for how scattered this is, I’m probably just overtired and burnt out from life

So for context, I've just started seeing someone. He's really handsome, sweet and very respectful. He has ADHD, so he's quite literally all over the place; Impulsive behavior type things. Well, he's starting to get inconsistent with texting and when that's the only communication we use, it becomes a battle for me. He always says he's working, which to be fair, he is, but it didn't stop him in the beginning. Again, I know he has ADHD and no two days are alike, that being said, I notice even the slightest change in texts. It's quite literally a curse. So I over analyze EVERYTHING to point of anger and tears, then I obsess if he even still likes me, if he's slowly phasing me out or ghosting me. Then when he does message me, I feel some sense of relief, but I notice he's not the same as he was before. He's done this to me a couple times, so I'm getting used to it. He told me yesterday he couldn't come see me because he was fixing his car, which he was - he showed a picture and posted them online, too. He's a car enthusiast, so he's always doing crazy things like that. So I woke up with the knowledge that he was working on his car today, only to find out he went to the beach. It felt like a punch to the gut. I tried reasoning with myself that maybe he went with his parents or a friend and he still had to finish working on his car, but then the dark, obsessive thoughts started creeping in and I spent the entire day miserable and over analyzing all of our texts and constantly checking to see if he still follows me on Instagram. I didn't even realize my OCD was this bad. I really just thought it was perfectionism, and it still is, but I'm afraid it's about relationships, too, and I'm concerned that I'll be this way with every man I date, given I actually find one 😔

With my OCD I don't know what type of OCD I have but I have really bad intrusive thoughts I ruminate on a lot of things I think of and I am very obsessive especially whenever I am very interested in something or whenever I feel like I did something wrong. When I talk to someone and I think what I said was bad I'll have to try to explain myself to tell them why I'm so sorry for what I said, when I drive the windows have to be halfway down and if it's not halfway down I will consistently keep on checking until they're halfway down and the Radio has to be at a even number, everything has to be in a straight line or neat, but it's only specific things. Whenever I think I'm not doing something at my best potential I'll just keep on asking myself am I doing my best job am I doing the best that I can or am I doing something wrong? When I was younger I used to always say in my head that I love God but then on the other side my brain would tell me that I hate God and I would exhaust my self by saying no I love God and fall asleep. Lol I ruminate and obsessed over these thoughts to the point where it goes to the most extreme and it makes everything spiral. I don't know what this is and I got diagnosed with OCD last month and I'm scared now because this whole time I used to always think I was crazy

It was a really serious situation.I didn't help a kid in danger years ago.Now I just keep thinking what happened and feel like a monster.And I am scared honestly.That I am like that person who hurt them.And I am scared I will be blamed.I am scared that I don't care and just don't want to be blamed.I just keep thinking what happened and how difficult it must been for them.They told me and I didn't help.I can't imagine.I am so mad .And I am afraid I dont care and even agree( it makes me sick when I think that).I wish I can do something..anything..but it might be too late.Apologise but I don't wanna make them remember.I feel responsible

I’m about to turn 18 and I’ve graduated high school a year early and I deal with intense feelings of imposter syndrome. I have no clue where my life is headed and not really even sure what college I wanna go to. I know I want to go to college but I just don’t know what I should do. I have a good job that I’ve been at for over a year and thats great, but I look at people my age and feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I’m an overachiever and someone that deals with OCD and the mix of those two is not fun. I think that when I was a child I had a lot of pressure placed onto me to do so well that I’m constantly looking for ways to improve in many aspects of my life. This leaves an unrealistic outline of where I should be and makes me feel so shitty that I can’t even see the good I’m doing. I can’t remember many positive things that people say to me about myself because I don’t think my brain believes it. I often worry if I’m not as smart as other people and overthink mistakes I make so many times a day. Excepting constructive feedback from people is extremely hard for me because I feel like I’ve failed. I feel sad about all of my past relationships with people. I feel scared nobody will ever love me.

I feel like today, I realized I’m not a good person at all. I think I am a really bad person. My pet died because of my neglect. I never thought he would pass away, but he did and I can’t believe it was because of me. How did I allow that to happen? He died because he needed flea treatment. That was my responsibility and I failed him. I know I’ve gone through so much the past 2 months. Losing my mom to cancer, being stuck in a foreign country for a month while grieving, coming home and try to pick up all the pieces in our family, struggling financially etc. My depression from losing my mom was so bad that I’ve been neglectful with my pets the past month. I’m even a mom to a little one. Of course I got up everyday , took care of him, fed him, played with him, cleaned our home. But it was hard and I feel so guilty for even feeling like my life is hard. Like everything is so hard to keep up with. I truly feel like I’m an evil person that neglects everything in my life. My cat dying because of me seriously has me viewing myself so differently now. Like what kind of person am I? What is wrong with me? I’ve been cleaning my house everyday, I have two other pets that I feed 3 times a day, I groom them, I got their flea medicine, I’m taking them to the vet next week to make sure they are ok. I took my son out to the pool yesterday, cooked him homemade meals.. got him toys.. i cook for my husband, i try to clean the house so my husband doesn’t have to do so. I still feel like I’m such a bad person. I’m a terrible person and something is wrong with me. What do I do? I don’t know if it’s because I always want to be perfect and everything has to be perfect, that when it’s not.. I feel like I’m a terrible person. What is wrong with me ?

I’ve been really struggling lately with identifying whether I feel a certain way about a situation or people around me or if I’m having intrusive thoughts. Lately, I’ve noticed talking it out with a friend is my first line of defense, sometimes just verbalizing those thoughts can help me hear what I’m saying, and actually start to process how I feel. I do get caught up in making the right decision after that, and it weighs on me heavily, and this is when I struggle to take action or become distant with others that’re in said situation. I try to do more grounding techniques and things that make me happy, I tend to try to focus on something like work or household chores and then relax with a good Gordon Ramsey show hehehe, but I still sit with that confusion of whether this is how I feel? What if it’s just an intrusive thought? What if I’m making the wrong decision or what if I don’t have grounds to feel the way I think I am feeling. This is when talking it out helps for me, but I still always have that inkling that I’m making the wrong decision regardless of what I choose. Does anyone have any coping skills suggestions to aid in this sort of struggle? I feel like it can be quite common to be stuck in those mental gymnastics with your ocd and I’m really curious what you guys do to help process these feelings yourself. I tend to spend time with my pets, watch a show, call a friend, but I’m curious if maybe there’s a recommendation that would work for me that I haven’t tried : ) thank you all for listening!! This is my first community post hehehe

I literally hate being at school so much I’m so fat and ugly and my hair looks bad already even tho I blow it out and ppl probably look at me and think I’m embarrassing myself for trying

Just prayed the rosary for the first time for someone i know is sick and i'm scared i did something wrong and Virgin Mary/God/Jesus is frowning upon me. How can i feel i did it right? I'm trying to learn how to pray because i didn't grow up in a religious home and i'm scared not that my prayers won't be answered but that i'm offending God. Usually i just pray alone and talk to God and Jesus or the Virgin Mary, so now that i'm following a script and I had to read the prayers while saying them cuz i don't know them by heart (yet, Hail Mary has been engraved after this rosary) that i'm doing it all wrong and offending Him and just not doing a right prayer. Please help, and thank you all <3