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Im getting anxious because I kept staring at someone and then I got an intrusive thought what is a way to overcome it please help!!

this is probably gonna be all over the place so sorry in advance but lately my intrusive thoughts have been driving me up the wall and i feel so exhausted because of them. i recently pinched a nerve in my neck and its causing me a lot of discomfort (some dizziness & a little bit of stiff neck) and because of this, my intrusive thoughts have been so loud because i keep thinking i’m gonna faint every time i stand up since i’m a little dizzy (not enough to actually pass out), and i also keep worrying i’m gonna get paralyzed because my neck is stiff (i can still move it just fine). its like i logically know i’m worrying over nothing, but i can’t help it. its getting to the point where other symptoms are popping up like i cant sleep or relax, my stomach can barely handle food, and my muscles are tense at all times. i feel so exhausted. im disassociating so hard that i havent felt like ive been present for the last three days and its making me basically bedridden. its moments like these where i really wonder if itll get better. sometimes i feel too tired to even fight off the thoughts and i let myself panic. last night i had a small anxiety attack because i was so concerned about this pinched nerve and it made me feel so sick. i just want these thoughts to stop. how can i even teach myself to accept them and combat against them if i cant stop fixating on them? everybody says you need to stop giving the thoughts power and i fully agree, but god its so difficult to not worry. sometimes i dont even give the thoughts attention and they still give me physical anxiety symptoms. its just so exhausting. i guess all im wondering is will this get any better? i know it probably will, but i dont know…just moments like today make me really worry ill be like this forever. i dont even know what step to take to get myself back to normal at this point. ive been taking care of my neck to make sure i dont injure myself any more, and itll probably go away in a few days, but im afraid the mental affects will be longer lasting. i just feel lost and confused. my head hurts and i want to figure out how to relax myself again. i dont like seeing myself stuck in bed, forcing myself to focus on every thought and worry i have. im just tired

I was watching the news where a boy k*lled his sister and buries her and I got a thought that what if I do that to my family however I didn't feel anxious in fact I didn't feel any way about it and now I'm wondering if I would actually do it and end up in jail and now Im wondering if it's an intrusive thought or it's me thinking and I'm so scared that I might k*ll someone.... Now I just feel the need to stay away.

One fun thing about what I’ve experienced is that even if I go to people for reassurance, more often than not it doesn’t help and makes things worse. I see how from an outside perspective it looks like denial and the moment I open my mouth to talk about it the instant thought is “you’re faking it, you know it’s true and you’re faking it”. And it’s great when people say maybe you are this or that like it’s no big deal, …but it is? And then again it’s like maybe they see something I don’t?

When I was a little kid, I used to be horrible. Every time I thought an animal was too cute or something, i’d get violent, terribly violent. I regret it so much and wish I never did anything like that. It follows me in my mind and I hate it even though I was a child. Then a year or two ago, I got upset at my cat and tossed her onto the bed very quickly and hard, and pushed her down. I remember feeling like I didn’t want to hurt her but I didn’t want to let go. I cried after it happened and gave her many treats. Around the same time, my dog got me mad i just smacked her nose but I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. Idk if i was 14 or 15 at the time? I would never do anything to hurt any animal now, but why did I ever do it back then? It makes me so sick thinking about it and now I can’t STOP thinking about it. I still never wanted to hurt my cat, but she got on my last nerve at that moment and it happened multiple times and I threw her pretty fast. I can’t believe I’d ever do that. I’ve been hating myself for it ever since i started thinking about it again. I can’t forgive myself and Idk what to do. I wish I could go back in time and never do what I did. She was still only about 5 months old at that time. She means the world to me and we have a very close bond, but now I feel like I can’t love her because what I did. I feel like I can’t have friends, or anything really because I feel like I don’t deserve anything. I feel like a terrible monster and I hate that I ever did anything to a little angel that didn’t even do anything wrong. Idk how to forgive myself. I hate that I did that and I wish I never did. It still wasn’t as bad as it was when I was little, but it’s still not okay at all and I can’t go back in time and change it, so now idk what to do with myself. I feel like I don’t deserve to be around my cats babies even though I love them with all my heart. I’m 16 now and not the same ragey person as i used to be. I had a lot of anger built up from an ex that I was with at the time, but still WHY would I take it out on my beautiful cat. The more I think about it, the worst it gets, it’s sucking up all of my happiness.

Hi i’m a teenager in high school and I don’t really remember when it started but I’ve been having really bad compulsions for the past few years. I think it started small with just little things like touching the light switch a few times because if not there’d be a house fire. But lately I think for the past year it’s gotten progressively worse. I haven’t been diagnosed and I don’t think i’m ready to talk to my parents about it so I don’t really know if I even have OCD or how to combat it. So i’m just gonna list some of the things that have led to me to believe I might have OCD: My number is 4, I have to touch things, do things, step on something 4 times. This has been happening for a while. The consequence of not doing it varys from the situation. If i’m home alone and I get scared I need to do everything 4 times perfectly and sit there until I do it right or else i’m unsafe and might die. I also have this “bedtime routine” you could say. Every night I need to check under my bed and look at each 4 legs of the bed and then say the number as I look then I need to take 4 deep breaths as I check too. After that I need to check in my closet and make sure the black hangers don’t touch the white hangers or else it’s contaminated and I might get sick. Then I need to fix my curtains to the way that I need them to sit. There’s a little more detail to each step that’s just too confusing to explain. Another big thing is stepping on something so it touches the middle or my foot and do so 4 times. I can’t explain everything because this is already too long but that is just some of the things I have to do. I also sometimes question myself and it scares me. Like I convince myself that I’m a psychopath and I am going to hurt my friends or family - but I am an extreme empath and can’t hurt a fly? It’s really scary and I just don’t know what to do anymore. So I guess moral of the story: Do I have OCD? And if so what can I do to try to combat it alone for now without alerting my family.

Hi this is my first post! My biggest thing is that im scared if I don’t do something something bad will happen. The consequences vary depending on the situation. Like for example one of my biggest fears is throw up so when my stomach hurts I have to touch something or do something or step on something in a certain way 4 times and I have to get it perfect. If not I think that I’m going to be sick. Thats just an example but my mind has fully convinced myself that these repetitive acts have actually worked and protected me. I don’t know how to stop or fight against it because I find comfort in thinking I have control over things. But sometimes doing these things can take so much time and it happens all the time. Certain rooms in my house there are certain things I have to do. It’s just becoming really overwhelming as a teenager especially. Does anyone have any advice?

On here I read, that OCD is trying to keep us safe. It brings thoughts to our attention, that might be dangerous, so we are aware and are able to deal with them. I first thought it makes sense, but after a while, I asked myself, why, if OCD is helping us, does it force thoughts, images etc. on to use which we made clear, we don't want? Why does it cause physical reactions, feelings and sensations that massively scare us, if its purpose is to keep us safe? And what about OCD coming up with new themes, not only, but also often after we got a little break from the other theme(s) that terrorized us before? OCD is definitely not our protector/friend. Our brain bringing a possible dangerous thought to our attention and accepting our ruling on the importance of that thought is helpful. But that's not what OCD does, it's bombarding us with those thoughts relentlessly and adds feelings, emotions, physical reactions and sensations to the thought to make it as convincing as possible. That's not helpful at all, it' mental warfare. So my question stands? What is OCD/my brain trying to achieve with constantly attacking me? Isn't it in our nature to fight for our survival? If so, my brain is working hard to achieve the opposite, which doesn't make any sense.

I've just started dating this really great girl. She doesn't know about my ocd which is fine but I've noticed that a lot of my intrusive thoughts and worries about not following routines now revolve around losing her or her believing I'm a bad person. I just don't want this relationship to make me so paranoid. I also know have this where if I see a girl on my Instagram or on the Internet, I'll feel an overwhelming urge to clean myself and the device I viewed it on. This is part of a moral reaction and I also worry I'm not being loyal. I feel I should try and not follow through with these compulsions but as they now revolve around keeping my girlfriend I'm not sure. Any advice?

Been doing amazing the last few days…then today boom…my ocd tried to pick a theme ..it will pass though…so I’m just gonna ride it out ..

My obsessions vary a lot, but lately I've been struggling with people close to me going into cars/driving. I'm feel like I'm starting to make them feel like I'm morbid or something, and also don't know how to explain them my mental process without sounding crazy,because this doesn't happen always. I'll try to explain: i really feel like i'm a bad omen for anyone close to me, and if they are making me a favour, like driving me somewhere it goes two ways in my head: 1.They are safe while i'm with them because(????) 2.When they are coming back without me they are at more risk because the universe is gonna make me pay for my egoism (being helped). Now, I know what magical thinking is but is really hard to explain to people without OCD, like, sorry but telling someone that i think i'm some kind of chosen one thay will keep us safe but a great force is gonna punish US BOTH for getting help is BONKERS. I'm right now at a good space in my life compared to years ago, but my head keeps popping with new fears randomly, i've been doing quite well with trying not to give into compulsions but this past week it's been so hard, both with this an health rumination. Just so hard. I couldn't help to give into it and i've been: -asking them to call as soon as they get where they were going. -checking the wheather and telling them please try not to drive, go outside or be careful in general if its windy or rainy. -Refusing rides and taking the public transport instead even if it's inconvenient and the other person insist they want to drive me. I just couldn't today my bf forgot to tell me he came to the office bc of reunions etc and i almost lost it, panic attack and multiple calls included. I just needed to let it out, and started reaching help again so i hope at least this makes someone feel understood :)

This is 16+ ,, so please don’t read this if you’re younger ——- —— —- — - I was having a inappropriate dream about characters, and I realized that they were minors (I thought they were 16) and in the dream I was like “well aren’t they adults in the newer ones? I’m going to pretend they’re adults” and I’m so upset that I did this, I know I meant no harm and I know I didn’t mean to do anything disgusting, as I thought they were 16 in the dream and I was like “um, im gonna pretend that they’re older” ,, and I just realized those characters might be actually 14, and now I’m freaking out that I’m a bad person… i didn’t mean any harm and I’m so sorry, I can’t ever forgive myself, knowing I had this dream, but I know I didn’t mean harm cuz I tried to change it instantly when my brain reminded me of the age

As I mentioned I am in the process of quitting porn right now. I am about to hit two weeks clean, but right now my intrusive thoughts are getting a bit worse. I’m not too concerned because I believe it has to do with me doing very well with abstaining from porn/masturbation but I’m not sure. Does anyone know if this can be the case?

I have always had crushes on guys but I’ve always been too afraid to act on any of them. Which leads me to today, single. I have never been in a relationship and it’s hard for me to envision myself in one. Plus my socd is really bad. I have gotten to the point where I don’t know what I want. I have always wanted a husband but I’m second guessing that all the time. I try and think of scenarios for both outcomes and nothing gives me any clarity. I’m afraid that when I get a boyfriend I’m going to realize I don’t like guys. I’m afraid that if I get drunk at a party I’ll kiss a girl. I’m afraid to just live my life at this point. I’m afraid there is no one out there for me. Im battling myself everyday and now the lines between ocd and reality are not there anymore. Idk what to do. I’m trying to take it one day at a time and tell myself to let it be. But the intense anxiety hasn’t left me for 3 days. I just wanted to write it out and get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

New to this community. Pretty bummed they don’t take my insurance. I’m gonna have a free call session later today but after that, I don’t know where else I’m gonna find online therapy specific to my ocd. I guess if it’s affordable I can still pay. It depends. It just sucks because I was happy to find this community and to finally get some help but they don’t take my insurance. I just want help.

I’m crying so hard, I just can’t this anymore. I feel like a bad person, I’m only 16… I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t breathe and I’m panicking so bad… please help me I was thinking about this situation with this YouTuber where he called this 16 year old “fine” Then I started to think, what if I get older and think 16 year olds are fine? This kind of made me anxious not really, but then I got convinced that I would, because my brain kept making me feel like I would be attracted to them, and there is nothing to say I won’t be attracted, so I said “I know I will be attracted, because they look older, I know that I will turn into a p//do” and now I’m really scared and terrified, I feel like I am a p now, I can’t believe I said that, now I feel like I’m gonna turn into one I would NEVER want to turn into one, I would NEVER want to find teens attractive at that age I’m crying

*This mentions pretty dark things so if you think you’ll get triggered, don’t read* I have a question for people who deal with real event/false memory. I hear a lot of people say they can’t remember if they did something or not, but they’re sure they’re guilty. Does anybody have a memory that they’re sure happened, it’s so vivid and you just know it happened, and then when you’re out of the ocd cycle, it just doesn’t feel real anymore? When I was a kid, I was overly sexually. Not only did I start doing sexual things at a young age, but I also had a lot of really dark thoughts. Today, I do have some issues with things I’m attracted to, but only in a passive “I should probably talk to my therapist about that” kind of way and I’ve heard the things I’m into are actually very common. What I thought about as a kid though are much darker. I try to give myself some grace with some of them because I was a kid and had no idea what it was, but of course, I feel disgusted. Anyway, i know that I had these thoughts and feelings when I was a kid, but there are some things I didn’t think I did until the past few years… I had one childhood “memory” come up… Basically, it was having a deliberate thought about an animal when I was masterbating. It felt 100% real, I was sure I did it and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. When my OCD calmed down, it suddenly felt much more foggy, and now it doesn’t feel accurate. I know for a fact I’ve never been attracted to animals, but I’m worried there was a different reason for me having that thought and it’s true that I intentionally thought about it and did it. But now it doesn’t feel real. On top of that, I also know I have never been attracted to children/babies. I have memories of getting thoughts about pedophelia and most of them I have memories of brushing them off but I’m terrified there’s one I am absolutely terrified I touched myself to. For this one, I was certain it was real but I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t, or will it to not be real. It was very vivid, but it also made absolutely no sense because I’ve never wanted that, ever. And if this is true, how could I ever forgive myself and move forward in life? Well, now it doesn’t feel as real. I’m terrified I tried so hard to convince myself that I succeeded and now I think it didn’t even though it did. I also realized I have no accurate memory of where this happened, how old I was, etc. For a while I was terrified this happened when I was older but I have no real memory of that. This made me relax for a second because I thought “maybe that means it didn’t happen or there’s something I’m forgetting and it was an intrusive thought that I pushed off like the rest” but then I quickly realized it really doesn’t mean anything and I could be a horrible, sick person. I know for certain I’m not interested in these things. But I know I used to struggle with dark thoughts, and hearing people talk about false memory the way they typically do just makes me feel like it absolutely can’t be that so it must’ve happened. I don’t know how to even function with these thoughts.

Has anyone had this fear that they were abused in childhood and just don’t remember? And that’s why you have harm related thoughts? Like, I kept thinking if my mom abused me in childhood even though I had not ever thought or felt that way before, it came up a few months ago when my therapist was talking about complex PTSD which then freaked me out thinking something super horrific happened in my childhood and I just don’t remember it. My mom and I are super close, always have been. My mom was protective of me, but never in an abusive sense. She would just worry whenever I went out with friends and such, and wanted me to text her every now and again to let me know what was going on. Even in adulthood she sometimes wants to check in on me if I go out somewhere (even though we live together) and she even tells me to not worry about it and she knows it’s just her anxiety that gets the best of her, thinking something bad happened or what not. Anyway, I kept thinking about this and I thought is this abusive behavior? My mom wanting to check in on me? And I think of course not, it shows she cares and loves me. It’s not like she’s a hounding my phone every second or what not, just a text or a call to see what’s up. But my mind takes it further and thinks this is controlling behavior or something. So it goes back to the was I abused in childhood and I just have repressed memories, and that’s why I get harm thoughts towards my mom. I’m always thinking there is a deeper meaning. I never even thought that before in my life, about the abuse part, but it has become stuck in my mind and I’m scared it will ruin my relationship with my mom.

Has anyone had kids while dealing with this theme? Right before my big flare up, and my SOOCD/ROCD was triggered this summer, my husband and I were in the process of talking about trying for kids. We have both been very “will we, won’t we” when it comes to kids, but this past winter I felt a big urge to have children now that I am 30. Every part of me was excited for this journey with my husband and our future, until my OCD latched on and now it’s all gone. I am so terrified to have children now because what if something happens or I change and I ruin not only my husband’s life, but now I ruin my (unborn) child’s life? I wish I didn’t have this guilt. If this OCD wasn’t there I would just be living my life like I had been, but now I just doubt everything.

So I was having another flair of intrusions (damn it), and I understood I fear them so much because I actually fear losing my life, my future something along the lines of "if the thoughts are true then I'm going to lose everything I worked for so far, I won't achieve my objectives and will lose everyone important to me" is this common??? I don't know how to describe this but I feel as if I felt like this my whole life until now lol maybe I do have OCD since I was a kid and don't remember