Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Guys I’m scared I’m a serial killer. Like what if I kill somebody how do I know I won’t. Also like watching murder documentary’s trigger this.

Ive been having terrible irrational thoughts that Ive cheated and don’t remember. Like the guilt made me repress the memory and im actually an awful person and someone’s gonna expose me. I know it’s not true and I love my boyfriend more than anything but i feel so guilty for something ive never done. its been making my life so difficult and i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im covering something up :( Its making me think that I need to break up and i don’t want too, but the guilt and anxiety is eating away at me. I feel like I need to get better before I continue on or i’m going to permanently ruin everything with my mental illness

My son has ocd and its been pretty stable for a while. However, a few years back he had intrusive thoughts ocd and could not be in the same classroom as this one girl who claimsd she was raped and told many stories of abuse. He also could not be in class while they were learning about drugs (like a dare program). Fast forward three years later(everything ok during past 3 years) and hes telling me he saw a picture of these “satan kids” sitting in the seat he sits in his history class. He had an ocd trigger and was going to cut class. He somehow managed to get through the day but when he talks about returning to school on monday, he says he needs to change his seat and his friend who used to sit next to him will need to change his seat as well or he wont be able to be by him. What do I do? Do i convince him to not change his seat or tell him to ask teacher to change seat? Help..i dont want to go back to the way it was three years ago,

I am very sad. I have obsessive thoughts from night to morning or in a week. I am scared. I am 23 years old now. I have been suffering from obsessive thoughts for eight years. I am not from a rich family. Please someone help me. I can't do anything because the thoughts don't make me progress. I have no friends at university. No one talks to me.Help me, help me, please.

I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….

I have very odd dreams and they always have to do with my intrusive thoughts. I will have nightmares about all of the things i don’t want to happen and i am afraid of and even thought this is normal, i never have real dreams. Only nightmares.I also always remember my dreams and have 3-7 dreams a night even if i only sleep 6 hours. i wonder if anyone feels the same way or has a story to share

If any Muslims with OCD come across this, i would like advice. Other people are also fine to give advice too. Anyway i am not a Muslim but most of my friend group is Muslim. I never grew up religious my dad was an ex catholic but still had religious views ingrained into his brain and when i would go to say good night to him he would say things like “God Bless you have good dreams” plus he was always drunk so it would be way more emotional and in depth. Anyway that transcended into me as a child praying to god everytime i was in the bath even though i didn’t believe in him it was “just in case”, which i know now was my OCD. Ok back to the point sorry it is long but I told my best friend who is a Muslim that i’ve been thinking about converting which was true, and i’ve been thinking about it for about two years. Today is the first day of Ramadan and i told two of my friends that i would be fasting for the month because most of my friends are and also the fact i’m interested in Islam. I woke up at 4am today, ate enough food to be full by the sunrise, then i fasted until 2:12pm when i did a horrible thing and broke my fast. I was so tempted and i know it was wrong and i have to do something good to fix it. But i started feeling like all of this, everything i think about Islam, it’s all just my OCD, and i have a strong feeling about this. I pray to Allah in my head, learned some arabic, read part of the Quran, and i tried to fast but i know i wont be able to resist my temptation even though that is the whole point of Ramadan. I know in my heart i don’t have real religious beliefs and that all of my thoughts about Islam are intrusive. How do i stop my thoughts and how do i tell my friend that i am probably not going to convert because it is not right for me? She will be understanding but i will feel like i mislead her and also i will feel a little more uncomfortable around my friends because i know i have decided that i don’t believe in Allah or want to convert. Please don’t tell me to convert because it will influence me immediately and although i love the religion i know it is not what i believe in or want with my life. Please help i am sorry this is so long

I’ve had many types of OCD, but I gained control over them over the years, but a new one has started to arise. Do y’all ever have scary thoughts about something you might do? Recently I’ll get extremely uncomfortable no matter where I am because I can’t stop thinking about “what if I screamed really loud in my lecture class tomorrow?” And other stupid stuff like that. Also, this one is kind of funny, but sometimes when I use the bathroom I pause before because I think “what if I’m actually in class right now?” I also cannot control the thoughts about past embarrassing moments. I know everyone does, but I will become visibly uncomfortable and harp on something from years ago. This happens all throughout the day. Also, does anyone else do things that resemble tics when you get these thoughts. Like when they happen I’ll curse under my breath or like jerk my head a little bit. When I’m in public I keep it low key but when I’m alone sometimes I’ll physically get up and pace or something when those thoughts happen. Just curious if anyone has had these experiences

Hi! Does anyone experience guilt about doing exposures? Like if my OCD is right and now I’m going to get possessed or cause this terrible thing to happen it will be my fault. And also prove that my brain DOES have that power which is so scary. I just did an exposure and I feel so worried about my fears coming true and the people I love (& me) getting hurt because of it. How do you get past this? It feels like I shouldn’t do exposures because it’s selfish.

it’s like when i fix one thing a new fixation comes along. how can i prevent this from happening? how do i keep my progress intact instead of making progress in one thing and going back on another?

I have goals for my life, I also believe that I am meant to be successful and that God has put me on this earth to be successful. At one point this belief has kept me going (and still does) however OCD has attached itself to this belief and made it more hell instead of inspiration, especially with constant reminders to "Tap in" and " Work before its too late" whether its in church or online. It makes me not want to work on my goals and actually any motivation that I did have is completely gone. It has even sparked a new obsession with the Idea that God will snatch my purpose away from me, or that God will end my life, or that God took my motivation as punishment for not acting faster, although the reason why I haven't acted on my goals yet is because of OCD and anxiety around my goals. I have a whole lore when it comes to OCD and my goals.

Has any1 had intrusive thoughts about sleeping and why we sleep? I love sleeping and taking naps but I get thoughts like your going to forget how to sleep and I'm like what? That makes no sense

I read a lot of other people’s posts where they deal with intrusive feelings, and sometimes even emotions? Would anyone care to further explain so i can understand this better? it would be very much appreciated.

on my last post people said it’s best not to confess, but confessing keeps u in the cycle, so what do i do about guilty thoughts, telling me i need to confess? please lmk guys! 💝

my therapist isnt avaible for a this week and this weeks been hell, cant focus, i keep getting stuck in my thoughts, if i predict something will happen and it doesnt, my brain gets stuck on what if it did and then my obession keeps going, i keep trying to not pay attention or let go of my thoughts but feels like im in a trance when the thoughts come up and feels hard to snap out of it. also since my ocd is to the point of disability (despite social security keeps denying me) i cant go out much and my fears have been getting more and more dehabilitating and i dont know how to properly fix it, i dont know the right way to respond to these thoughts, i dont know how to let go, its just been super rough and demoralizing...

Getting eaten alive by thoughts right now, when I was a child me and other kids around my age would experiment and do things we shouldn’t have, I’m talking very young, like 3-5 as I got older I was for whatever reason always curious to a horrible extent and it lead me to do in appropriate things to kids around me, I was 7-8 at the time. I would say it happened 3 times in total in my childhood. And i eventually told my parents the last time it happened because even though I didn’t know it at the time. I had ocd. And I knew it was bad. That was when it all started. I feel absolutely disgusted with my 7 year old self and it comes up every once in a while especially when I hear anything about sexual abuse. I’m nearly 20 now and I enjoy my life for the most part and I’ve been down the ocd path before but I feel unforgivable. And I never want to tell anyone about it, but my ocd seems to want that. I have a beautiful girlfriend that had some traumatic things happen to her and I love her with my soul. I don’t ever want that to come up. Because that’s not who I am. When will I be able to forgive myself? If at all I hope I’m not alone.

i need some advice!! when i was 16, i was watching an anime and this character had abs and he was 12. i remember at the time (from what i can remember), i made a weird comment on his physique. saying things like “omg how did he become this buff haha.” and “oh im going to jail.” i even said “it’s only a 4 year difference.” like WHAT?!? just because it’s a 4 year difference, doesn’t make it okay. its WEIRD!! why would i say that? i also want to mention that i have a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself bc of my ADHD, so i tend to blurt things out. i just find it disturbing that i would have such thoughts, let alone say it out loud. i never had attraction to kids bc its immorally wrong and disgusting, but i feel no different from the ppl who would hurt children irl. I’ve tried forgive myself multiple times, but what i did is irredeemable. i feel like i am using my OCD as an excuse. i am so scared that i am a p, i want to d1e. my life is ruined.

hi everyone. i'm terrified about my future with my spouse. we've been fighting a lot recently because they cheated on me on our wedding night... making out with someone else. this really really hurt me. they now want a break because they can't handle my severe anxiety about the situation. i know reading this you're probably like wow that's a real asshole right there and i deserve better. but truly i love my spouse and they're a great person. they're just triggered. i'm afraid the marriage triggered them. i'm afraid they're going to leave me. my ocd is telling me the more i really think about it my intuition is telling me that they will leave me and we won't work it out. and now i feel like im manifesting that on purpose. i'm freaking the fuck out and i feel so lonely and sad.

hi im experiencing a lot of anxiety and guilt right now. im 16 now but in the past i said many offensive bad things, slurs and racist jokes with my friends. it was disgusting and im not proud of this. I'd never say those stuff to an actual black people to idk make fun or shame them because im not actually racist, i could never hate another person just because their skin colour is different. but i did say disgusting stuff as "a joke" and i feel very guilty about this. I don't think i was always a bad person but for around two years i was just acting mean and pretty shitty. i wish i could turn back time, but that's not possible. i was talking about stuff I didn't have a clue about, i said n word just because "its just a word, it's not that deep!". but now i know it's really more than that. yet I can't move on. i keep thinking about it so much i want to throw up. I can't look in the mirror now i don't know what to do. lately im trying to become a better person, be nice to people close to me and just to finally feel good. but i feel like I don't deserve to change and i create scenarios that people will bring up my past when ill finally be a better person.

I know I was here earlier on with a question as well lol but has anyone ever found that when a new false memory takes its place at the forefront of your mind, it's almost easier to disregard the old false memories and say "Yeah that stuff didn't actually happen that way". It feels like OCD giving you a little reward for letting it place a new, shinier false memory in your head. Anyone experience the same thing? Maybe I've asked a similar question before.