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So I like this girl right. And I asked her if she likes anybody. She said it was complicated, and I said that I kinda liked someone too. That someone is HER. I think she thinks that I like someone on campus. When the person I like is her. Like I can't get her out of my mind. She hasn't been texting me back as much. Now I'm thinking that she thinks I like someone else when the person I like is HER. But my OCD therapist said I shouldn't tell her I like her because it's not worth it. If a relationship can't be PURSUED. Then, I'd be wasting her time. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna hurt her. I hope I havent hurt her. I hope it's not what I think it is. I really hope not. I really like this person. I feel so sad and so bad thinking about it.
I recently lost a relationship due to this as their ex gf blocked me out of nowhere & my partner started talking about them a lot and memories about them. This triggered me to feel super insecure & compare the relationship they had with ours, I would replay images in my head about things they’ve done together romantically & sexually, look up their ex, and compare myself. One day my partner had left their apple watch at my house & I had such obsessive thoughts to just take a peak & make sure they weren’t still talking to this ex of theirs as i’ve been cheated on in the past. I kept trying to get the obsessive thoughts out, but impulsively checked for 5 mins & immediately felt guilty and put their watch away. I felt like such a shitty person because I never intended or wanted to break trust, I just felt so insecure towards their ex. I confessed to my partner because I felt so guilty & they knew I have this type of ocd, but dumped me due to losing trust towards me. I feel so guilty & blame myself over & over, but feel like I’ll only ever solve this ocd with exposure therapy while being in a relationship. Has anyone else ever experienced something similar or asked for reassurance about their partners ex etc. & drove their bf/gf away? I feel like I deserved forgiveness, but also see how I broke their trust. I can’t stop feeling so angry with myself
so me and my boyfriend just kissed. it was my first kiss and his. i was playing with his hair like putting it in a ponytail then i said “can we kiss” and he’s asked me before and i kinda avoided it because of hocd and rocd. we both went in but didn’t really like pucker or anything and im so embarrassed and i didn’t feel ANYTHING. it was so awkward after and we just said i’m sorry and moved on but like i didn’t feel anything, except anxiety after because i didn’t feel anything. i would just say our lips touched for like a second like nothing even happened. please help me
I have been so stressed and confused as of recently over a guy l've been getting to know and I don't know what to do. I can't trust my own emotions anymore. He's a great guy and as l've been getting to know him I've found that we have a lot of common and he's very sweet, but have so many doubts and feelings that I don't like him. And I'm worried and confused. I don't know what to do. There isn't inherently anything wrong with him in terms of morals and character, he just acts goofy and sometimes dumb. And it makes me think negatively of him and it’s frustrating that I do. It keeps pushing me farther and farther away And I don't want to let these thoughts bug me or overshadow the good things. I'm so confused. I can’t tell if these thoughts and feelings mean I should leave. I don’t want to leave. But now I’m also worried that maybe I just don’t want to leave because I’m scared. I don't want to be irrational about it. I don’t know what to do
OCD Journey Stories
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I had to learn to live in the “maybe, maybe not”. At this point, I know I can face anything. I know that I can fight the fight. I know that I will be triumphant over this.
By Chelsea R
Read my Relationship OCD story →How much can the mind take? With this soocd/ doubt feeling is so real at this point. I’m scared because I’m weak, I’m really trying to enjoy life but now I try to imagine dating again. & my mind is just like no. Your ocd will ruin it, loved women my whole life and but in my core I don’t want to be gay. It feels real and I can’t take it, I have no anxiety anymore. I’m just numb, the thought of dating scares me now. Being sober from alcohol makes it worse too, in high alert and just tired overall. I hope my attraction to women comes back. I pray this nightmare turns around one day, I’m tired. I pray we live life the way we want, goodluck to everyone on here struggling.🙏🏼
I had an argument with my boyfriend 3 months ago, I posted a picture and people were commenting on it and one of the comments was a guy that flirted with me that I completely forgot about. I felt guilty for so long, my inner mind was calling me a cheater and that I’m not worth it. It progressed onto me thinking “do I love him?” And “should I break up with him?”, I cried over the fact that I started to lose myself and being so scared to lose him over my thoughts. I seek for reasurance from online sources (like Reddit), my friends and my mother because I want to believe that it’s just my head that is telling me things and not my actual feelings. My mind keeps on telling me things that I don’t want to hear, I lost feelings that I didn’t want to lose, I lost happiness and comfort and love that I didn’t want to lose but it’s all in my head? I do love him but I don’t feel anything anymore? It’s all confusing. I miss missing him, it makes me feel so bad that I don’t feel the way that I used to anymore. bearing in mind that this is my first healthiest relationship I’ve been in. He’s treated me better than my exes that treated me so poorly. Could this be Depression and anxiety / ROCD? If so does it get better?
i’ve been in a really bad funk for like a week now and i can’t get out of it. my ocd hasn’t been this bad since i started treatment a month ago and i was doing so well and now im really down again and i can see it effecting my relationship w my mom and family again and i feel so hopeless and just really depressed.
Currently going through rocd AGAIN and I keep getting a thought on what if this isn’t rocd and I’m using ocd as an excuse. I hate this thought. I want to feel how I did a week ago. I hate battling this every other month. Any tips on really overcoming ocd because right when I think I do another theme comes along. I can’t live like this forever you guys u simply can’t.
Hi I'm cassi, and I am pretty new to this, and I have been reading all of your stories and shares, and I was hoping this might help me in some way. So I have always been extremely close with my mom, I am 26 and I love our relationship, she is the best mom, but lately I've been having intrusive thoughts and anxiety about how much I rely on her, and what will happen the day she passes, I know thats a long time from now, but all I can think of is what if I have a mental breakdown? What if I can't survive without her in my life? And she knows all of this, she is the main person in my life that I take to about these things with. I was just curious if this has crossed anyone else's mind. I hope everyone is having a good day!
So I’m about to get lunch with my friend in a few days and like I blushed at the thought of it but I don’t have a crush on my friend or anything. It wasn’t intrusive and it didn’t feel unpleasant. I’m a bit worried if I should go now I don’t want it to be cheating. I feel like I should go though
Dealing with a breakup due to ocd and could use some encouraging words. I feel really alone. I can’t sleep or eat. My mind won’t turn off.
Hi everyone, does anyone struggle with relationship OCD? I have substantial trouble with ROCD, It has been present in my life for as long as I've been in relationships, and the pain that comes with this OCD is unreal sometimes. I have left every past relationship I had been in just to relieve the unbearable anxiety and suffering I was in 24/7, up until meeting my current partner 1 1/2 years ago, I have just learned within the week about OCD, and more specifically ROCD. For the last 6~ years, I thought I was just broken-like something was just wrong with me, like I was just wired this way, and that I was just unfixable. No diagnosis/disorder I have been diagnosed with has ever made sense/explained any symptom I had with me; like OCD. This disorder just clicks in my head and checks every box I have ever been searching for, for the last 6 years. I made peace with myself that I was just made this way. Going out in public with my S/O, going to friends houses with her, staying at her house and having people come in her room with us; all made my anxiety so unbearable, I was so uncomfortable, I felt like I was in survival mode, like I was in grave danger. I feel this crazy jealousy with anyone she spends time with besides me, anything that I couldn't predict/control, drove me insane, I would lose sleep over those thoughts, that I would lose her, that she could be laughing with someone else, they'd never ever leave my head, the sense of danger never left me, unless I left that partner, then and only then, would my anxiety go away. I would start to feel safe, but so lonely. The uncertainty that is a relationship would quite literally drive me to the brink of insanity, but would break my heart in the process, because I have simply felt unlovable for as long as I have been searching for it.
can relationship ocd come and go? I was fine for like years now it’s back.. makes me think it’s the truth
During school, I went with my friends to get food but there wasnt enough room in the car so my friend offered their lap to sit on. I said yes and went to sit on her lap but there wasn’t enough room vertically for my head so i ended up laying down across the people in the back seat. I made sure my head and butt were on my female friends but there was a guy sitting in the middle so i arched my back a bit so it wouldn’t touch him. i felt really uncomfortable the whole time but there wasn’t anything i could do because we already started driving. I made sure he didnt touch me and i didnt touch him but i feel really guilty and i dont know what to do. I dont know if i should tell my partner or not. My friend that offered me her lap was trying to console me saying that its okay and that i didnt touch him and she made sure that he didnt touch me but still. please help
Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts
sometimes when I read all these posts I just start crying 😭😭 I hate that we are all suffering like this… ocd is not for the weak and its so frustrating 😭 Im really tired honestly… my ocd has its good and bad days but im just exhausted by all of it. I cant enjoy simple things because my ocd has to overcomplicate every little thing and create these “signs” as to what I am and what I am not. Ive had ocd for over a year now im a just upset 😭😭😭 I dont want to live like this forever… I have a lot of people who say, “you can talk to me if you want” and its really sweet 💓 but I dont think anyone can understand what I am feeling because even I cant… I dont know what im doing- how im feeling- who I am- or even what my values are 😭 ocd just makes me question everything. I am a 14 year old girl 😭😭😭 how am I supposed to know what to do? Ive talked mom about my ocd a few times and she tries to help but she doesn’t even understand 1/5th of what I go through daily. I appreciate her caring even if its a little but I just want some help 😭😭 I am a bit scared of therapy though. But im willing to try but im not sure if my mom will let me… Ocd just makes me feel so unlovable. I hate it.
Ive chatted with romantically attached women on the explicit chat website... people on the site tell me im a good person and that people on the site are here for their own reasons, or their partners allow them to be, but i still feel horrible about the two women who were keeping secret from their partners... (not the ones whose partners allow them to be on there...) this one girl is the one i regret the most because she was in a relationship with the girl on the site and didnt want me to tell her... i feel like a horrible person... even though many people on the site tell me im not... and that its all fantasy and not real... me and her have chatted several times so i feel like a bad person because of those several times... and ive wanted to chat with her... i feel horrible because of this... i only want to be a good person... i only want to do good things... but no matter how many people on the site reassure me, i still feel horrible because of this...
Hi, I have been struggling in my relationship due to ROCD and would love for someone to weigh in and help. Here is my story: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We got together young and are only in our early 20’s now. About two years ago I developed an extreme anxiety disorder. A few months into this disorder I also developed OCD in the form of sexual orientation ocd and relationship ocd. It immediately affected my relationship no matter how much I didn’t want it to. I immediately felt like maybe we shouldn’t be together because I don’t truly love him. Or I actually love girls so therefore can not be with him. This has been happening now for two year and it is still a daily struggle. I have people in my life that are major triggers because when I am around them all I can do is think sexual thoughts or obsessive thoughts about possibly wanting to be with them. It is so hard to know if I am actually gay or not and no matter how hard I try to figure it out I can’t. It also makes me deeply sad because I so so badly want the relationship back that my partner and I had. We had 3 amazing years before all of this and now that feels like a distant memory that I may never experience again. I feel like I am trying so hard yet it isn’t getting better and I’m afraid it never will. I want to feel the same love I used to for him and without all the fear and doubt. If anyone else has experienced this please share if there was anything helpful for you. Thank you.
I feel like I have asked a variation of this question before but still don’t quite know how to deal effectively. What is the suggested pathway for someone dealing with a trauma (sexual) when OCD is latching on and making it worse? I feel like this is something I genuinely need to seek help or counseling for because it is affecting my relationship, but OCD is so loud and trying to make itself the center of attention. I feel like I am suppressing healing just so I don’t engage with my OCD.
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