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the NOCD Community

Does anyone else feel like if there friends, family or partner knew what their intrusive thoughts were then they would fear you or hate you or feel disgusted by you? I hate my intrusive thoughts but feel like a liar or fake person for not sharing them.

I notice that I have a more difficult time relating to others who don’t have ocd or do not really understand ocd, which had me thinking, how does everyone make friends when you are living with this condition? I’m genuinely curious. My tendency as an introvert is to just not really seek out friendships, but maybe that’s a form of compulsion and avoidance. I think it would be beneficial if i could make actual friends who could understand and relate to me. Any ideas? Thoughts?

Hi! How do you handle rocd after arguments? It always spikes so bad... It doesn't always have to be an argument. Sometimes my partner is tired from work, his voice sounds of and my brain freaks out. Or we disagree about something, it's not even a fight, just something minor. I start to have thoughts like: see the disconnection between you two? You would be happier with someone else. You both are miserable together. You fight too much. I am very obsessed with the word connection lately. It feels like we are very disconnected. My partner is burn out from work and I am very stressed as well. Our relationship is not exactly smooth right now and I spiral everyday, if I should end it. i just wish we could both be happy again.

I think I have ROCD (Background information then question at the bottom) I have moments where I have an urge and strong feeling that I want to break up with my gf Then I have moments where I am questioning myself if I love my gf When I’m in these moments I get very anxious and get an anxious spike I do worry that these are my true feelings and I refused to accept them and I am surprising them and I don’t have OCD at all but I feel like this isn’t true because I don’t want these feelings and I know I care deeply for my gf. It’s been 3 years and I’ve never had any of these thoughts until an event happened that almost ended us and I was scared to lose her I’m struggling to identify my compulsions to get on the path of healing any help for this would be great I never give into breaking up with her And Ive been working on not questioning myself and questing weather I love her and just not responding to those feelings Would those be compulsions? I don’t have a thing inside me that says I need to go do something to relieve this It’s just like I get stuck feeling like that for a while. I will say I do reassure myself and say “ no you love her don’t be silly and don’t let ocd control you” And then from there my brain says “ Are you sure you love her”. Maybe that is a compulsion and I should avoid arguing with those thoughts and just not respond?

“I love him of course I wanna spend the rest of my life with him” “I feel nothing I don’t know why because I felt everything 2 weeks ago” “I’m okay it’s ocd” “What if it isn’t ocd and it’s the truth” “I love him, wait I feel like I’m lying to myself” “I’m in denial the love is gone” I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN.💔

Although being diagnosed with OCD nearly 2-3 years ago, I’ve just recently found out more symptoms that were related to it, ones that I had no idea of. For example, reassurance-seeking into my relationship with my boyfriend. Him and I have had a lot of issues over the past year and the stuff he has done made it worse. Even though he’s trying to change for me, I can’t help but feel like he’s lost my trust. And I know this isn’t true because within every promise he makes, I trust every word. I hate asking for his reassurance because I can’t control it at ALL. And no matter how much he tells me that he’s not mad and that I didn’t do anything wrong, it never feels like enough. He tries to cheer me up and deal with my mood swings, but I get angry and upset so easily that I start to feel like I’m ruining his life. I don’t want to ask for his reassurance on it either.

Does anybody else feel like there are a lot of resources to deal with our OCD during a relationship, but not after a break up?

I’ve never been under anesthesia, i’m 19 and I should be getting my wisdom teeth removed, I am supposed to call the oral surgeon, but I still haven’t called after two months of getting my referral, for a few reasons. 1. I think i will die or suffer from serious complications/ be able to feel everything but not be able to move, almost like sleep paralysis, because that type of thing has happened before, only in redheads… I am not a redhead. Just the impeding doom it feels like a possibility. 2. Who will take me/drive me home while i’m coming out of the anesthesia and possibly saying silly things. I don’t want anyone to see me in a state i’ve never been in before. I feel like i’m going to say horrible things that are either directed at the person who is caring for me, or just in general. Even sexually explicit/ morally wrong/ flat out disturbing. If my boyfriends take me what if I tell him I don’t love him ( I do). What if I say something sexual that could be offensive, like sexual acts with other people? (I’ve never done/Will never do). I can’t have my mom take me cause she would hold those things against me for however long it felt right to her. Etc. My teeth are suffering and the anxiety of the what ifs eat me alive every time I think about it. To me this feels extremely vulnerable and it makes me more uncomfortable than anything to not be in control of my words. My sister specifically is an example that makes me feel these things. She told me that our mother said to her when she was healed from getting her wisdom teeth out that my sister said something so bad that my mother said she would never repeat it. Which is very out of character for my mother. And my sister and I are almost positive what she said was a sexual connotation. Has anyone else had this experience?

I feel my heart break when I think of losing my bf, I still feel a small part of me want him but now everything is pointing me just being lesbian. I’m convinced now that I only like being w him because of the male attention😭thinking of being lesbian and being w women doesn’t feel like desire at all like how lesbians describe it, but it feels so real and part of me just wants to give up and break up with him and just give in to this :( I get a lot of anxiety now thinking about being w men and feels like there’s no other way to explain this. I know it’s seeking for reassurance but it feels so hard to bring myself back from this to even say “maybe maybe not”. I just need some advice :(

My entire body hurts. I’m struggling to make friends,my fear of getting rejected holds me back from making friends. I’m so fucking numb I can’t stand it hardly any longer. I have type 1 diabetes that I have to control on top of having untreated ocd. I can’t find a therapist atm that specializes because I can’t fucking afford therapy. I’m pretty sure talk therapy has made ocd worse. I don’t want to live like this. it’s not even me it’s a shell and I hate my life right now.

Have any of you broken up with your s/o due to Rocd, simply for the purpose of relief and then regretted it? I love my boyfriend but sometimes I feel that I would be happier if I wasn’t in a relationship bc of i constantly doubt him and convince myself he is lying. Did any of you experience your Rocd fully go away in a relationship and then a new ocd theme started? I’m also scared that this might happen and my brain will just latch onto something else once he is out of my life.

Hi! I have OCD and am thinking about starting a family. I have been married for a few years (through some pretty sever ROCD) and starting a family has come up more than once. Every time our “this is when we will start” time comes around I have a HUGE spike in OCD including ROCD and OCD around having sex with my husband. I have a history of sexual assault, but that’s another story. ANYWAY…I was wondering if there are any folks on here with OCD and thinking of having children, pregnant, or went through it all with OCD. Really just looking for community and any resources that might have helped you- books etc. I am in therapy and on medication so really looking for anything supplementary. Thanks for reading!

Do you ever find yourself fixating on someone you've only been on one or two dates with? It's been a month since I went out with this person and I don’t even know them, yet my thoughts keep returning to them. I've noticed my rumination is finally starting to decrease, but she remains elevated in my mind, largely due to her looks. I know for a fact it is not love. It’s mostly a state of Limerence, infatuation or just obsession. Anyone else experience this?

i have noticed a significant decrease in my OCD behaviors/etc. after deleting reddit, tiktok, and facebook. it may not be a cure all solution but not being triggered by social media posts in regards to cheating and really any other uncomfortable topics has made me feel a bit better. i figured if it’s helped me some it may help some others!

Anybody relate to having dreams about what they’re obsessing about, like SO-OCD. I just had a dream like that and it was so disturbing. Even in the dream, it felt like I was doing compulsion after compulsion. I’m just tired

My new theme is existential ocd and I was doing okay-ish this week until I saw a tik tok last night about death and after death communication and it sent me on a downwards spiral of needing to constantly research and google what happens when we die again and honestly just makes me feel sad in general about it all because of the uncertainty. I feel so disconnected from everyone and I feel scared to even be alone. I have to work tommorow and feel like crying. Then my relationship ocd added with the already feeling disconnected from everyone makes me scared about what if I don't love my partner or like him and it makes me even more distressed. Im so tired of feeling like this, I've had different themes since I was 7 and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm so sad. I had the worst mental breakdown in decemeber and I still don't think I've fully recovered. I'm on new antidepressants but I'm still sad. I feel I'll never enjoy anything because it'll always be clouded by ocd. This is honestly more of a vent post more than anything but ahh im so tired.

does anyone ever struggle with intrusive thoughts and even feelings of your spouse or SO dying suddenly? it’s been a theme for me the past few weeks and i’m not sure what’s causing it. he’s perfectly healthy and fine but it’s been so intense that i’ll just sit there and cry and cry and feel such intense grief.

Anyone ever have anxiety so intense you are on the verge of tears around people? Lately my anxiety has been so debilitating. As soon as I wake up, my ROCD thoughts are racing, until I go to sleep. Honestly, I am getting tired of fighting this anxiety, 24/7. This OCD and anxiety is taking away any pleasure or peace I used to feel. Going on day 7 tomorrow morning. This isn't a life to live at all, nobody knows I'm struggling, not even my girlfriend.

how do i know if something is false attraction or genuine attraction? is there anyway to figure this out?

Dating with OCD was hard, but having broken up with OCD is even worse. I broke up with my ex after he ditched me at a party and accused me of cheating. (I never cheated, I wouldn’t flirt with another guy or cheat whatsoever). He was a consistent liar which I also didn’t like. We were on good terms for a while until two months after we broke up. He stopped talking to me and started pretending I don’t exist. I can’t avoid him because I have to see him everyday, unfortunately. He went out of his way to tell me he’s “seeing” someone. I struggle to let go with things and he was my best friend for two-ish years before we dated for a year. To watch him stop caring about me so quickly has made me miserable. I still care about him but it’s clear he doesn’t care about me. I keep crying and checking things over and over again. It feels uncontrollable. I don’t know how to make this stop. Or how to feel better. I feel so alone and I don’t know how to get over it.