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the NOCD Community

how do you PROVE you’re not a paedophile

Ugh, my sensory OCD gets triggered whenever I have a fight with my husband and we are in a phase where we’ve been fighting lately due to stress and business at work plus doing a lot of work on our home. So now I’m focused in on every time I swallow again, convinced it will never go back to normal.

Has anyone suffered from post partum OCD harm thoughts? Please share your experience

Man I hate ocd

i just wanted to ask on here if anyone could share from experience what to do if it feels like you’ve already tried everything to get rid of ocd or as much of it as you can??? So basically when all of this first started about 2 years ago, I was actually in counseling just casually for a few months trying to just cure my anxiety but then I realized the bigger issue was OCD months later and i started going to talk (cognitive behavioral) therapy for it for about 6 months. During that time i tried Zoloft for a couple months, kept increasing til i hit true max but i honestly never felt anything! I didn’t try anything else bc i really didn’t like the idea of being on medicine especially at such a high dose and apparently zoloft is the best for ocd but it didn’t work even a little. then that didn’t work after all of that, so i i’ve been going to a hypnotist (who has a phd so he’s actually a real doctor) and it was supposed to take 3-4 sessions to help me, but so far i’ve done 11 sessions and nothing!! i’m still functioning but this is not how i want to live. does anyone have any suggestions please on what i should do or try??

anyone here with severe misophonia (sound hatred like being sent into a panic attack or strong aggression with hearing sounds like chewing or tapping or breathing)?

i used to be able to just fuck around and kiss girls for fun at parties and even consider threesome fully knowing i was straight and was just open to it for fun. now if someone brings this up to me or whatever i get so scared. like hocd completely changed my mindset in that way. i always knew i was straight and was confident in it and now i’m worries i’m bisexual or lesbian. and it takes my attraction away from boys. which is what i actually desire in my heart. fuck this man

Ok.. so another one of my fears is the fear of being schizophrenic or psychotic. I’m 9 weeks post partum and I read about psychosis and it freaked me out!! I’m 29 years old and I know schizophrenia happens in your teens or early 20s. My therapist told me that as long as I don’t have a voice telling me to act on my intrusive images or thoughts that it’s not psychotic. Once she said that later that day the words “do it” kept repeating in my mind. I have 0 desire to harm anyone and I’ve never been a violent person. If anyone has experienced something similar please share! I feel like my mind loves to switch things up and play tricks on me.

Does anyone else ever have the thought of “what’s the point?” Every time they try to better their life even in the smallest way. When I go to buy clothes I think “what’s the point” or when I think of going to the gym and losing weight or decorating my house, etc things that shouldn’t really be a big deal it’s like I demotivate myself but I want to do these things. I don’t get why I even think this it started a few months ago and it’s making me depressed :(

Beyond the what ifs - Does anyone else feel like their OCD tells them they have to be gay... I don’t want to be with a woman but it feels like I have to be gay. I’m trying to tell myself it’s OCD and that it’s a lie...but what if it isn’t? What if I’m lying to myself that I don’t want to be with a woman but I actually do?

I was curious is obsessing over like Harry Potter part of OCD? Its my favorite movie and book series and i have so many clothes and decorations and stuffed animals that are all harry potter related.

Hello, im really anxious right now, for years I have had the fear to Go crazy and jump out of the window, is awful, I live in low places but now im in vacation and in a 9th floor. Im anxious all the nights to jump on my sleep or at any time, thoughts come like, "you should do it now and stop suffering" and right after that its, just chill deep down you now you will be fine you have been feeling this fear for years and nothing happens, but u hate this feeling of fear.

Anyone with contamination ocd struggle with feeling irrationally contaminated by their triggers either just by being close to them or thinking the air spreads contaminants that stick to their bodies? Really struggling with this right now as the public bathroom I used today was not great. The period trash bins were full and I felt like as I pulled the toilet paper roll to get toilet paper the air got me contaminated. Really trying to sit with the anxiety and having such a hard time.

I have severe sensorimotor obssession about my breathing i dont know what to do

im super duper new here and i immediately want to get this off my chest. its such a confusing situation. a few months ago i was in an online friendship with someone who was 16 (i am 13), and they dealt with constant abuse that was both physical, emotional, and sexual. i began to cry about them every single night and check messages to see if theyve replied almost every single minute. id edit my responses if they didnt respond for a bit in fear i had said something wrong. after they told me about multiple traumatic situations in detail, i began to obsessively think about me being hurt like that or me hurting other people. i questioned if i had ever hurt someone before or someones hurt me- the thoughts felt too real and absolutely terrifying. i felt like i wasnt allowed to be happy or be me. i literally began avoiding everything that made me happy. i wouldnt even read books or draw. just seeing that persons icon gave me a sense of despair. i completely pushed away all of my other friends. there was a specific fictional character that i find comfort in (and still do), but because that person had an incredibly negative concept of the character, i thought i was a bad person for liking them (and i still feel this way) i didnt know it was a bad friendship until i told somebody else about it. it got worse though. eventually i began to think that self harm was the only way out- that it was the only way that person would feel better. throughout all of this they kept on saying they were okay, but that unfazed my anxiety and obsession. i constantly tried to cut myself, watch things that made me upset (crime stories etc), and enforce rules on myself to be a "better friend". this went on for months. i found out i had ocd through all of this, and the person finally cut off the friendship. i cried very hard that night. its now been a few months out of that friendship and i still feel the need to constantly trigger myself-ill search up childhood sexual assault on social media and be absolutely swarmed by my emotions. my compulsions get mixed up and i will pace around for hours to the point where i physically cant walk. im in stages of recovery, but that situation hurts me so much- i still feel as if i cant be happy. i feel like im connected to that person on chains. am i allowed to be mad at them? they didnt mean to do any of that, but the damage was severe. im recovering, and so far what i need help with the most is hygiene and cooking. please suggest helpful ways to not be afraid or anxious to cook or have better hygiene, or your thoughts on the situation i went through. thank you!!! i hope this app helps me

I have this image that comes to my mind without a warning. In this Image, I touch a child inappropiately to an inappropiate area. Im not afraid of doing something bad to a child, but Im afraid of this image because it brings along the high anxiety as it makes me doubt if I d i d something bad. It feels almost true. Because of this I used to avoid changing nappies, washing our baby etc. My compulsion was, and somewhat still is, avoidance of certain situations+ rumination. Have noticed counting to be one as well (almost like keeping track of time, or mind busy when being in a situation that I know the image may pop in my head) Have learned to avoid both of these but after the image Im left with anxiety, which turns to sadness, feeling very low. I used to have these daily when our child was a baby and still when she was a toddler, now the image comes may be once in two weeks. Still every time Im left with this same lowness. I had this kind of moment yesterday and again it feels almost true- what if I did touch her. Does anybody have similar situation? Also, if there is professional on the line, I would like to start Erp. I don't know how to proceed without support. Thank you beforehand for any advice.

I'm really scared I've poisoned myself... ....I dyed my hair yesterday evening and had a shower after and some of the water was still stoned with the dye. This evening I had a shower and the after still seemed a bit tinted. Some of the water (that must have gone through my dyed hair) ran down my face and into my mouth. I spat out a few times and I accidently swallowed. I'm now really worried am going to die in my sleep from poisoning :(

I just feel like I don’t care anymore. I’m so exhausted of swinging between constant thoughts and numbness. I just don’t feel like I can sustain the feeling of love. My boyfriend will find someone else. I know he thinks he loves me but I know he could also love again. He’d be fine if I just disappeared. I just hate myself and don’t want anyone to love me. There’s always going to be other people in the world a person will have a connection with so he could move past me just fine. No one connection means anything.

My OCD story: Well where do I begin, I have been doing rituals since 4 years ago. I started doing rituals because I think I was having a really bad week at school and when I started doing the rituals they seemed to be making things better, and gradually I just started doing loads of them and I just lost track of how many I had, it was unbearable. Fast forward 4 years and here I am, I was upset anyway because I was feeling anxious because someone looked at me funny and I started panicking and I was thinking stuff like, what if they hate me and why were they looking at me. At the time I was opening up to my mum and we was watching a series at the time I was opening up to her. Then suddenly, a scene came on where there were terrorists and I just froze, what if I am a terrorist, and since then I haven’t been able to get out of my head the thought of being a terrorist and my mind convincing me that I am one even though I know I am not. I am still struggling with these thoughts now and your mind really does a good job in to thinking you are an evil terrorist even though deep down you know you’d never do something like that. I have managed to stop the rituals now but I still suffer with the thoughts which makes me think “maybe it isn’t OCD then as I don’t do any compulsions, maybe I am just evil” and then I always get stressed out and reply with “No, I am not” which I know isn’t good and I try to not reply and just let them be there but I just don’t know how to, it’s so hard. I’m really impatient with meditating. When I first started having the thoughts I couldn’t eat, I can eat now and go out but I am always getting the thoughts. The only time I don’t get the thoughts is if I am really busy doing stuff like work etc, I also get the same thing with like school shootings anything to do with that sort of terrorism stuff, I hate it so much. I have been to the doctors and I am on antidepressants and I am also getting therapy for it but will it help me? Would you say I have OCD? My intrusive thoughts always seem to target the things I like most so for example they target when I go to football games, my brain tells me I am going to commit an attack here and it makes me upset and it also happens when I go to college and my brain tells me I am going to commit an attack there which also upsets me. My brain also tells me when I start working (which I want to do) I am going to spend all of my money on weapons which therefore prevents me from wanting to get a job which means I can’t buy stuff that I want or start driving as I need money for it. Lately, my OCD has been weird because I have been getting the thoughts but I don’t get as anxious which makes me feel like, maybe it is just me, maybe I am a terrorist, maybe I will act on it which therefore makes me feel weird and scares me a bit but doesn’t scare me as much as it should do because I want to be really scared of the thought of acting out on it (which I used to be) but now I don’t react to it with as much anxiety but the thoughts are there and I feel like I should be reacting to them in a way where I shut them down but I am not. This all stemmed from when my doctor asked me, “am I planning something” and I said no but since then it has just stuck in my head and it has been like, “what if I am planning something” or what if I do plan something. Lately, I’ve been talking to a girl that I really like and my thoughts targeted her because I really like her, like when I met her my brain was telling me I was going to hurt her or her family when I obviously wasn’t going to and I’ve tried to just let the thoughts be there but sometimes it just gets too much for you and you can’t not get emotional. I cried a lot the other day about it. I’m starting therapy tomorrow so hopefully I can get some help. I also seem to get triggered by reading about what other people experienced because I read about other people’s experiences with their OCD and some had paedophilic OCD and I was like what if I am one of them? And then I looked at a young girl and my brain told me I was attracted to her but I obviously wasn’t but that one came for like 2 days non stop and then stopped. When I hear loud noises I also think about terrorism things like, gun shots or bombs and it really scares me. I also have horrible thoughts like, what if I get angry and act out on any thoughts and it really stresses me out or what if one of my close family members pass and I act out in a bad way due to not coping with the grief. I also get quite worried because I never see anyone with my sort of intrusive thoughts and it makes me feel like it isn’t OCD which stresses me out and makes me overthink. Then we go back to my relationship with my girlfriend, I always have thoughts of do I love her, do I want to be with her. Always checking my feelings to see if I love her. Then I’ll see another good looking girl and I’ll be like wow she was a good looking girl then get thoughts of, does that mean I love her and not my girlfriend. I also get the odd inappropriate sexual thought about my own mum who I am really close to as I can tell her anything but yeah. The themes always switch up, one week I struggle with one worse, the next another theme and so on. It doesn’t help that at my work, I work in a kid section in a shop and the intrusive thoughts kick in.... What do you guys think? Sound like OCD? Sorry for the really long message.

Its fucking DISGUSTING to me that when my sister pees in the middle of the night (it’s only 12:30) she doesn’t flush and she doesn’t wash her hands, because she doesn’t want the noise to wake anyone up. I have kidney issues I pee easily three times in the middle of the night, ALWAYS wash my hands ALWAYS flush (and I have to flush TWICE once before I pee because she leaves pee and toilet paper in the toilet, and then AFTER I pee) I tell her this she doesn’t care. I HATE living here.