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I’m wondering what are your guys thoughts on marijuana use and those of us who have ocd who use it regularly

Everything that he do makes me angry and annoyed. I can't stand all his things that i used to like in past, but i can't leave him either. I don't really know what to do. I am preatty sure of not loving him, but i would love to be able of loving him. I can't stand his flaws; they really makes me sad and hurt. I don't know what love is anymore, but i can't leave him cause even the idea of loosing him is super hurtful (it would not be hurtful being without him, but seing him happy with someone else, or anyway seeing that he would not miss me. Plus the idea of can't having fun with him anymore destroy me). Not the idea of being alone or single, i know that i would have a lot of fun by myself too. But every time that i try to leave him, i can't because i start to be super sad and crying... even if it's what i want/what i think is the best. At this point i would either love being with him and love him, or being single, but i can't do nothing between the two options and i'm stuck in a very hurting limbo. A lot of times i want to leave him a minute and the next one i want to see him. What can i do to get out of this situation?

How can I overcome with ocd? I am facing lot's of problem because of this, My daily routine is disturbed totally, I wash my hands all the time, I check doors multiple times, I have fear /anxiety, lot's of unwanted thought comes in my mind, There was a time when I was not able to understand whether I have wear clothes or not, I can see that I am wearing clothes but my mind was not getting it, that was a worst time, I need guidance so that I can live my life without anxiety and the way I used to live before ocd

I feel nothing at all, not even when I compulsively look at younger people I need help, I’m so scared, it’s like I don’t care any more about anything or peoples basic human rights

i’ve never had a thought like this before. i have the best relationship with my dad. but tonight a gross thought came up in my head. and instantly i was like um no. i didn’t get a sensation or any attraction or happiness from it. so i know i don’t like it. but for some reason my brain was telling me. “say this say this say this” as he was telling me goodnight and obviously i’m not gonna say it over the app but it just freaked me out. i didn’t say it and i didn’t want to at all but my mind and thoughts felt as if it were trying to force me too. now i can’t stop thinking about it and what would have happened if i said it. i feel so gross and weird and idk how to talk to anyone about it because my mom is very understanding and she understands this stuff very very well but it’s still an extremely hard concept to bring up to my mom. idk what to do:( i’m lost.

Can someone please give me advice on how to make my showers shorter, I really need help with it because my mom is getting upset with me and I don't know what to do

One of the hardest parts of OCD for me (besides the obvious) is missing the life I had before OCD. I feel like I was so happy even in the hard moments when I thought it was bad. Looking back I’d give anything to only deal with those simple struggles again. OCD has just consumed my life and truly makes me feel unworthy of happiness, of having love or kids or anything good. It’s so hard to feel deserving of good things when you have a taboo theme. Does anyone else feel this?

anyone else have ROCD focused on their partner? like worrying their partner is going to leave/cheat or having paranoid thoughts about their partner? a lot of what I see about ROCD has to do with doubting your love for your partner (I've had that in a previous relationship so I know that blows) but just wanted to connect with people whose fears are focused more on their partner's feelings.

(If you are obsessed over your OCD getting worse or over arachniphobia, do not read this) This is really long and not really important but I decided to put this on here in case some of you find it interesting or have similar stories. So I am on two medications, one for OCD and the other for ADHD, and I always take them at the same time, but during summer I don't need to take my ADHD meds. A few summers ago, my brain grouped the two medications together so I forgot that I still should take my OCD meds. I was fine for like 2 months and didn't really notice much, my OCD was getting a tiny bit worse over time but not enough to be concerning. I also felt slightly more creeped out by spiders (I was the "oh come on, it's just a little spider" girl) than usual, but once again, I barely noticed. Then, one random night in late summer I went into the bathroom to see a spider on the floor, and not wanting to deal with it but also scared it would get into my room, I slammed a towel under the bathroom door and my bedroom door and went to bed. Next morning, I go to move the towel and right when I was going to pick it up I saw a different spooder (I use humor to stop me from triggering myself) on the towel right next to my hand. I asked my brother to remove it from the premises while trying to look calm while questioning why I'm so scared of spiders now and the miniature demon ran faster than it should be able to from my room into the bathroom and I fricking SCREAMED. My brother still couldn't get it so I asked my mom to try but she told me it went behind something so there was nothing she could do. I was now scared of an entire section of my house where my bedroom happens to be, so that night it took a lot of convincing from my mom for me to go back into my own room. She also gave me lavender-scented cleaning spray because the scent of lavender repels spiders, and for most of the night I sat on my bed with the lights on repeatedly spraying parts of my room with the lavender spray, I think I got a few hours of sleep but I can't remember. I do know I was up at 6:00am, (which in my mind is officially day), and tired of being in my room I went downstairs. I saw one of my cats staring under a shelf and when I looked to see what it was, twas a fricking spider and needless to say I was terrified. I ran upstairs to get my mom so she could kill the pint-sized nightmare fuel but when she came downstairs it was gone. In that moment I experienced and OCD relapse in full-power, it was like getting hit by a fright-train of panic while years of progress of fighting OCD vanished. It was like hundreds of "what-ifs" going through my head at once. I stood in the most open area downstairs and was too afraid to move from that spot. I kept on twisting around looking everywhere thinking that every little shadow out of the corner of my eye was a spider. I was hyperventilating and kept touching my back and my hair to make sure there were no spiders on me. I can't remember how long I was doing that for, but the panic itself lasted for hours. I never liked spiders but I was never afraid of them either, but then all of the sudden BOOM, I had severe obsessive arachniphobia.

I have been dealing with different subtypes of OCD off and on for over 6 or 7 years now and one of the most debilitating has been the Health OCD and POCD. I've been to to a therapist before and discussed everything with him and I found that I wasn't some mosnter despite everything I went through. But every now and again I get the compulsive mindset to check through my history to see if anything would confirm or deny me being a pedophile. One thing that keeps coming up but I have had multiple people say it didn't matter or I was thinking too much about it was the fact that out of the multiple different videos of pornography I've watched throughout my life there have been 99% normal or what anyone would call normal porn both consisting of guy and girl, girl and girl, or animated/hentai at times. Sorry this is weird to talk about but everyone watches it so I am not saying anything that people haven't heard of. But what I am hung up on is there has been less than 1% I've watched that is mainly hentai that had girls of suspect age in it that I never sought out specifically or had an inate desire to see it just came up in the list of things I watched. Some towed the line and I stopped watching. But I was never really focused on that and I think to myself that maybe it was my negligence that condemned me. I've never in my life sought out child pornography ever but certain times I've watched hentai have come to forefront because of the compulsory nature to check for faults and cracks in my life to seek reassurance. I have told friends, family, internet forums, and my therapist and all didn't judge me or condem me at all. All of them said it was either normal or that I was being too hard on myself or that didn't define me or what I actually held most important morally. The fact that a licensed therapist heard all of this and didn't bat an eye should have given me the comfort I needed but the fact that I watched something even remotely close triggers the need to check and scan over my life repeatedly for signs or evidence. I have had all the behaviors since this started 7 years ago. Avoidance, body checking, mental rumination, guilt and shame over past, reassurance seeking. If I see any children namely small girls I instantly am filled with dread and fear and anxiety. But since going and taking to a therapist it has lessened significantly. But this idea won't get out of my mind. I feel like I've made a mistake and my mind won't let me forgive myself and move on. Whenever I am watching regular pornography, there's a part of me that says "your only watching this to resist watching things with children". Then I start to panic and ruminate on what that meant and doubt if it was true even though deep down I know I don't want that. But OCD causes immense doubt and second guessing. I am taking a few namely harmless instances and making them out to be indications I'm a monster of society that needs to be isolated.

Hi just for reference, I’m a girl, I’m almost 17 and I’ve been boy crazy for pretty much all my life. I- I don’t even know what to think anymore, I identify as straight and enjoy thinking about men sexually and emotionally, but I can also masterbate to women weirdly enough? I’ve been diagnosed with pure ocd and I have no desire to have any sexual or emotional relationships with women in real life, and I’ve had hocd for over a year now, but I can masterbate to weird things sometimes and I know I’m not supposed to but I compulsively search things up very often and from what I’ve found most people would say that it would mean that I’m bi. The idea of being bi or gay has made me hyperventilate and cry god knows how many times, at this point I wouldn’t even be angry if I was bi or gay but I know that I’m not. My head keeps telling me that since I can masterbate to gay thoughts or lesbian thoughts sometimes that it means that I’m not straight even though I have no desire to do anything even remotely close to that in real life. This is one of my worst themes of ocd so far as compared to other people who have hocd they don’t get turned on or finish thinking about these things and I do but I don’t identify as bi or gay. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore? I was hoping someone on here goes through the same thing? And I’d really rather not hear that it’s just me denying it, I have a few people I talk to and occasionally when I bring it up they just say I’m in denial so I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi it’s all in the title I know it’s actually so hard…

I have a family member who has a mental health degree but seems to use their knowledge to label all of our relatives as narcissistic or as having other negative psychological traits. This usually happens whenever someone disagrees with her. Recently, she told me that if I feel guilty about a recent argument we had, it's not her problem that I haven't appropriately dealt with my OCD. I feel like this was a strategy to get under my skin and to use my OCD against me, because this relative knows how important my recovery has been to me. Has anyone else here experienced this type of gaslighting (disregarding your feelings or opinions based in your OCD) & how have you handled it, whilst maintaining fidelity to ERP?

I have been experiencing the same repeated thought cycle for 9 months since a certain event happened where I don’t have complete memory. I was on a night out with colleagues and got drunk to a point I blacked out (I have not done this since, and this is one of the only times I have done this). At the end of the Night a colleague who I remember trying to get with me throughout the night said ‘do you remember when we kissed?’ , to that I felt instant guilt and asked if I had cheated on my boyfriend, he then explained that he tried to kiss me but I turned away and said no I have a boyfriend. I rang my boyfriend straight away to let him know this had happened, and he forgave me and accepted it. I also was apologised to the next day by my colleague and he said I did nothing wrong and that it was his fault. However no amount of reassurance I got from people would stop me from feeling so much guilt. 9 months later and I still feel the same amount of guilt as when it first happened and I can’t get over it. I spend so much of my days trying to remember what happened and going through possible scenarios like imagining me being the one who initiated it and it feels so real. I never come to any conclusion as I don’t have a Memory, but I feel like I need this to move on. I feel as though I have cheated on my boyfriend and I need to end our relationship because I don’t deserve anything good due to what I could have potentially done. I would never be able to forgive my self for cheating. It’s like having the same thought over and over of myself doing something which makes me hate myself. The only time I feel okay is when I ask other people if what I’ve done is wrong and they tell me I wasn’t in the wrong or by reading online forums (this sometimes makes it alot worse). I also get triggered in social situations when people bring up the topic of cheating and get very anxious and upset. Sometimes it makes me not want to live anymore if I always feel like such an awful person. I want to focus on my studies and do well but this is stopping me. Does this sound like OCD or am I just a bad person unable to deal with what they have done?

I made the mistake of googling why do I sometimes not feel in love with my boyfriend and I shouldn’t of because everything is just tell me because I don’t love him and that just scares me. I seriously can’t remember ever feeling like I fell “in love” but when I’m with him I can usually push bad thoughts away and enjoy the relationship. I’m so scared this isn’t an OCD thing :(

3 days ago I started to feel better after 10 days of intrusive thoughts. I thought yayy I did it. And yesterday I had a session with my psychiatrist. She told me it's too soon to know if the crisis is gone or if it is just 2 days of peace. She said I may need to take paxil (I took luvox for 2,5 years)that is a similar drug, more sedative, but it is easy to take it off later. I felt kinda sad cause I thought I was doing better and I'm afraid of trying another meds. Last night I couldn't sleep cause the thoughts returned. I just felt as "this is it, I failed". I had so much anxiety and the thoughts keep telling me, just accept it, you're trans. I just want to feel okay again

Hello Everyone. I am suffering from this disorder for last 6 years. One reason for its long term is that i didn't know about it until recently i came to know that this sort of disorder is known as OCD. I am suffering from this beyond everything that i can explain . Most of the time i am concerned and worried that i would get a serious disease or infection if i touch something or do something that i deem "just not perfectly clean ". I mean i have to wash my hands in a particular way and manner to make myself believe its clean and safe otherwise no matter how much i wash my hands i am not satisfied that its clean. I spend hours in my bathroom even for the smallest daily task. Its torturing me really bad and even my family is affected. Its this way that most of the time i am in the bathroom doing my stupid rituals and my family members are unable to go to the bathroom. Every time i feel so much guilt and sadness i cannot express. I am always trying to be fast and finish my work in the bathroom really quick but everyday i encounter only failure. I am always late because of this , i miss many opportunities because of this , i am unable to go anywhere, i always get ashamed in front of my friends because i am always late, i am afraid to use anyone else's bathroom because i might take too long and i have to be ashamed and face mockery even there. Its consuming my life and also it has consumed most of my time till now. I don't know what to do. If anyone has any suggestion or similar experience or anything please help.

Does anyone else face depression and OCD? It’s relentless I’m struggling so bad….yesterday I just laid on the couch all day long…sleeping, like wtf I don’t want feel like this anymore…

Is there a correlation between ocd and humour? I dont mean to be insensitive, as everyone on here is really going through it, as am I, and maybe don't want to even think about that rn. However, I was just wondering if the common ocd theme of over analysis could lead to a different way of looking at the world. The acute awareness and perception leads me to noticing little details, which outlined, could be funny. I know I definitely use humour to ease my anxiety and ocd symptoms. I feel like using it to shine light on whats going on in my head might help me get a better perspective. Idk. Was just wondering what other people's views were on that. Hope everyone is doing well, one day at a time!

So in my head I came up with a love story ever since I was little I would play it out in my head or whatever or even pretend I’m the main female character but never put it on paper it was just something that I did growing up that just calmed me down I guess I don’t know but as I got older I would pretend I was the main character and the guy that the main character was with was the love interest and well yeah I’m sure you get the idea. We before I met my best friend or even knew who she was or her son, the male main character has the same name as my best friends son and I feel so horrible about it even though I had no idea at the time I didn’t even know anyone personally with that name so when I found out he had the same name I changed the name and moved forward but because the character in the story in my head had the same name and I would pretend to be the female main character and things escalated between characters if you know what I mean kind of like a fantasy sort of thing during me time and when I found out her son had the same name my ocd is twisting it trying to make it seem like it was something else and it never was and now I cringe and wish the male characters name wasn’t the same because it triggers my pocd so badly and I am trying to hard to do exposers especially when her son is around because he’s almost 3 and I’m trying to not be so afraid anymore but it’s hard when I can’t have one second of peace when OCD is trying to feed me lies that I know deep down aren’t true. I do know that sometimes mothers name their kids after the father so I’m sure that’s something other people deal with being uncomfortable wise but ocd takes it to a whole other level of uncomfortable and makes 10x more scary but that’s the best way I can explain it. Im just really worried if I should be concerned even though I had no idea at the time and changed it I just keep remembering using the main male character and his name during ya know time and now I feel so horrible about it like I said I had no idea at the time I would end up with a best friend who’s son has the same name. OCD sucks