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Im going through a crisis. Its immediate and severe. Is there any way I can get emergency OCD therapy?

Had the intrusive thought that I was going to go home and right a suicide note and then smiled after. Not sure if I should be concerned or not

Years ago I used to have a whole bunch of OCD themes that I worked through one by one in therapy, the worst being harm OCD and POCD. Harm OCD doesn’t bother me anymore, but somehow years later POCD is still an on and off thing that I deal with. It got worse when I was in a rut this past winter, but better when I upped my anxiety meds. I also had a therapist to talk to, that I can still reach out to if needed. She didn’t do ERT therapy, and to my knowledge wasn’t an OCD specialist, but she knew about OCD and how it worked and didn’t judge me, so it was nice to have someone to talk to about it. I feel the same right now where I just want to get this off my chest. I have tried to do ERT on my own, but I guess I haven’t been consistent enough with it because POCD keeps coming and going. I was trying to do ERT consistently on top of getting through my college semester, with mixed results, but then when I upped my anxiety meds I felt great and didn’t feel the need to keep doing it. And it’s been bothering me a bit but for the most part I’ve been doing great with just letting it be there, but then recently my anxiety spiked all the sudden and I’m not sure why. Maybe the stress of having an unexpected road trip I had to take or the fact that my job is starting soon? My job being a summer camp counselor, which I’ve been doing for years, which is ironic considering my OCD theme. I guess it’s because it attacks the things we care about most, which is probably the reason why this is the most difficult one that just hasn’t gone away. In past years I’ve been fine doing summer camp, it’s so busy I barely have time to think haha. When I’m busy, out in the sunshine, I’m perfectly fine, but it’s when I’m not doing anything and by myself that OCD bothers me. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I think maybe I’ve been subconsciously worried about camp this year since I had an unexpected spike in my OCD over winter break? Not really sure but it’s just REALLY frustrating right now. I just want to focus on enjoying my summer and looking forward to camp. Since I’m feeling this spike all the sudden I plan to use the tools in this app to work on ERT. It also just helps to get this off my chest, and hopefully someone out there can relate to this and it will help them. I’m also just confused on my spike in anxiety, especially since I upped my meds? I take the max dose, 40 mg of citalopram. If you guys have tried medication, what have you taken and what has worked the best with OCD?

If you read this whole thing and comment, I appreciate you. I know I have been posting a lot on here, I am sort of in a panicky state. I have been struggling a lot lately. I know asking for reassurance isn't good and that is not what I am trying to do here but I just need help. I need some support. Little backstory while trying to keep this short and to the point. About 5 months postpartum (I am currently 10 months postpartum now while writing this) I began having sexual intrusive thoughts involving my baby. That quickly turned into POCD because I couldn't stop obsessing over these images and thoughts causing more and more to happen. I will say the POCD comes in waves, but lately it has snowballed into something else. I will now have sexual intrusive thoughts towards random people not always involving my baby. It doesn't matter if you're a female or a male. I also have compulsive staring which I always had but never new it was OCD related. All of this has caused me to feel extremely perverted and I don't like the feeling at all. I can literally be looking at someones butt and not even realize I'm doing it. Or I can look at someones private parts out in public and not realize I am doing it but now my brain is on high alert so I notice it a lot more. I often think back to my past a lot and question if I have ever done anything weird. I feel like my compulsive staring has shown up while watching TV, looking at photographs, scrolling on social media - to the point where I want to delete my social media entirely. I remember one time I saw a picture on social media of this guy in literally see-thru pants and I zoomed in (NOT ANYTHING SEXUAL!) it was more like does he not realize his pants are totally see-thru?! type of thing. I will often compare my own body to other women's bodies I mean I think that is normal? Now I'm like what if I looked at a photo of a woman for too long on social media or zoomed in on a photo to see something does that make me perverted? Now forget it, if I even look at a women in a bathing suit or think to myself "she has a nice body" I will feel completely disgusted. I do think it is completely normal to have those types of thoughts like "she is a good looking" or "she is pretty" or "she has a nice body" and not have it mean anything sexual. But being that I have been dealing with the sexual intrusive thoughts towards others, it is kind of hard for me not to relate the two and question if I am perverted. I would never ever want to make anyone feel un comfortable. Even on social media I mean I think we have all clicked on someone's profile, scrolled through their page or photos, but now I feel totally wrong for doing that? It's like my OCD is making me feel like everything I do is wrong and perverted and I mean something sexual by it. I hate this feeling. I have to say, I love my husband dearly. I am very happy in my marriage and I care deeply about being a good mom, and good wife & an overall good person.

Have anyone every have ROCD, but the also believe the the voices of ROCD is coming from God, so you hear it in ways that seem so convincing because you don’t want to not do what “God” says? I’ve heard that multiple people were my wife and I have heard to let go of people that are so genuine and great. I’ve been on an world spin. I have Been trying to understand it all sometimes but it’s discourages me a lot and makes me not want to think at all.

Okay it seems I have a new theme, if this even is a theme? I love my husband very much and I know I am not into the same gender. I have no desire to be with the same gender & I never did. But lately I’ve been getting so inside my head because I have compulsive staring and sexual intrusive thoughts which started postpartum towards my baby then quickly snowballed. I then started having sexual intrusive thoughts towards other females and males. It makes me feel weird and perverted. Where I worry is if same sex thoughts/images pop in while being intimate with my husband or during self pleasure because this has happened before. Also, I am freaking out thinking that if I think another female is pretty it means I’m attracted to her? I mean I am sure we all have thoughts like that when we look at other women right? “Oh she’s pretty.” “Oh she has nice hair.” “Oh she is really in shape and has a nice body.” Or are these thoughts weird? I can’t stop overthinking this. It’s like this started as sexual intrusive thoughts postpartum, then POCD, then sexual intrusive thoughts towards others, to me feeling like a weirdo and perverted, and now I can’t stop obsessing. I need to emphasize here that I would never hurt a child. I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my compulsive staring. I am very much in love with my husband and never have I ever thought of being with the same gender. It’s not something I desire. I love my husband, I love my family. I care deeply about being a good mom, a good wife & an overall good person.

Hey beautiful people 🌈 Anyone else have cheating ROCD ? Constant fear of being cheated on and cheating ? How do you cope with it, and with your partner if you have one ? I need some coping advice please 🥺🫠🫠

Hello all, cut right to the chase, I have ROCD and have been dealing with/treating it for a while now, and things are going alright. I’ve been noticing that my OCD thoughts have been taking another shape recently though but I cant seem to make them fit into a certain subtype. Recently my thoughts have been surrounding life questions and wondering if Im living life “the right way”. I get insane FOMO and jealousy of other peoples lives because it triggers me to ask myself “should I be living that lifestyle?” “Should I be doing what they are doing? They look happy?” and so on, until I can convince myself that I have my own life to focus on and that I am indeed happy. Now Ive been able to associate most parts of this cycle with my ROCD cycle and the two compliment each other quite nicely (lol). Just dont know how to consider this a subtype? Is there such a thing as ‘general OCD’ where every aspect if life causes questioning and response? Im a bit confused.

Today my HOCD feel so real… I can’t reassure myself. It’s like a evidence that im gay but i feel so bad. My brain make some scenario with women and i believe that i like it. And when i want to imagine with boy i feel nothing. I can’t think about my boyfriend… When im thinking about him i don’t feel anything and my brain tell me that im living in a lie. Do you have some days like that? How can i stop thinking that ??

I just got out of a friendship with narcissist and I wonder if these people take advantage of those with OCD because we are trusting and kind? Obviously I understand NPD is also a mental illness, but hurting people is never okay!

I started treatment about a month and a half ago. I have learned SO MUCH and gotten so much better! OCD no longer has power over me! I still experience the symptoms, the unwanted thoughts, but they don’t control my life anymore and they come waaay fewer and far between. My anxiety and depression is at an all-time low and I’ve faced fears that my OCD was keeping me from. Aka I’M ENGAGED! I’m so grateful for NOCD, for all I’ve learned, for my wonderful therapist, and for this community. Here’s to a lifetime of kicking OCD in the butt 😏 There is hope. It’s so possible to live a great life with OCD. Keep going everyone! Much love to you all, especially those still in the depths. Have hope and know you’ll get there ❤️

I'm sorry if this appears as seeking reassurance, to some extent it is. I just have no one to talk to right now, and it's more to do with my general state, rather than my ocd specifically. I'm just so low at all times. I don't see a way out of it, every path I imagine I just see a dead end - fear, embarrassment. I just don't know what to do. I have been having suicidal ideations and they seem to be the only thing giving me a serotonin boost. It's such a horrible thought. My brain just keeps using it as a solution to my problems and I recieve a chemical reward at the end. That's just no way to live my life. I have a therapist, but they are away and I have not been able to speak to them. I wouldn't do anything stupid, it's just my ocd saying things, but it's just no way to live life. I've cut myself from everyone, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too anxious all the time and it just wasn't working, I don't blame her. It's just that today I saw she was posting photos of someone else and all my relationship ocd trauma hit me all at once. I'm sorry for this rant, I just need to get it out somewhere. You don't have to respond if you think it would be reassuring. I just don't know what to do. Don't really have much of a purpose, I don't see my value in anything. I just want the nightmare to stop. So sorry again.

Hi my name is Shubhra, I'm 19 and I just joined, I've seen about three therapists and 2 psychiatrists and currently just seeing a psychiatrist since my insurance changed and my therapist did not work with this insurance. Going to these doctors felt good but I never felt understood, which is reasonable since my age, that they did not want to diagnose me with anything besides depression and a "unown anxiety disorder" But I started noticing a pattern in every relationship I had been in, I would obsess over whether my partner was good even as a person, some thoughts were very intrusive and demeaning of my partner but then they would switch to me idealizing him, but I was always anxious being in relationships. I had so many fears they would leave me or end up being a pedophile or were cheating on me. I would obsess over the littlest things that could indicate they were bad. I wouldn't be able to sleep very good and my mind would only think of them but not in a good way, in this obsessive cycle, and because of this uncertainty, ironically I wasn't able to trust myself when a partner of mine was actually abusive, which made it very difficult for me to leave, It was like I was addicted to this obsession with them even if it killed me. and then I discovered ROCD and it made sense, my therapist never heard of it so we looked at it together but I didn't feel she really understood. But after all the chaos of relationships, I recently decided to take a break and not be in any relationships till I heal and know myself. Because I was in back-to-back relationships always chasing that rush and almost forgetting the chaos it came with. Now not being in a relationship I realized I don't just do this in relationships, it is more extreme in relationships, but my mind is constantly going and I never know what decision is right for me and I can never keep up with my thoughts because they always counteract and go in different directions, Today after seeing NOCD youtube videos, it was the first time in my whole life I felt understood because when I was a kid my parents just thought that I was overly sensitive and I grew up and everyone thought I was unpredictable but today I feel normal, I feel like I at least know one thing, and knowing I have this or symptoms of this makes it a little better and a little less scary and tiring.

I've just been feeling really depressed lately and really just feeling like I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I feel like I've been really emotionally overwhelmed? Thinking about all the things that I wish that was doing with my life and everything I've been through but its just really been getting to me lately. So I started to think about my theme again and just kept thinking like maybe it is true and at first thinking like that's ok, there's a possibility but it doesn't have to ruin your life but the more I thought about it I started to freak out and think no its not ok and I need to figure it out right now. Then I started ruminating and checking and the thing is (because my current obsession is worrying about being autistic) I can relate a little bit to some of stories that people tell about not really fitting in or like having really intense emotions but I don't relate to any of the social/emotional issues like not understanding body language or facial expressions, strict routines or sensory issues. I guess the biggest thing that stresses me out the most is like I can relate to some of the ways that their brain works like sometimes I think of something funny so I kinda giggle out loud or being frustrated with questions that don't have a yes or no direct answer and not knowing how to answer, like I figure that that's it. That means I'm autistic and that freaks me out and start to get scared. I feel like I also start to like try to justify why I do or used to do something that might be considered autistic and say oh well yea I do/did that cuz of this... which I feel like my go-to is "trauma response" but even then a lot of autistic people are actually doing certain things cuz of trauma and I seriously just can't tell anymore if I actually am in denial or it's OCD and it's literally hell. I don't know does anyone have somet advice that might help with feeling like I'm in denial or just OCD?

i have developed a fear of it, whenever i hear ambulance noise i get thoughts whether it was real or not. my life is becoming hell, me and my parents cry everyday. i read people taking anti-psychotics for it even freaked me out more. i was seeing erp therapy for it and found out that watch “a beautiful mind” , when i searched it and read about it , it gave me chills . i have no guts to watch it, because i fear i might relate things with it or pick them up. i have this from 4-5 months, it had got better in between but i dont know how it got triggered again. will i be able to live a normal life? my fears related to it:- do i have it? will i get hospitalised? will i have to take antipsychotic for lifetime? anyone who has some help regarding it, please help, its making my life miserable.

Also…. Noticing my hands are aging big time but I can’t stop washing them all day long. Any tips? They’re so dry and gross.

it’s so wierd cos when i see a good looking child my pocd tells me i’m attracted to them bur it’s like a feeling and i feel really anxious and i try to convince myself i don’t find them attractive, but like i feel sick at the thought of like ever wanting to d anything sexual/ or be with them or anything, i just think there nice looking ir whatever, it’s nit even like thoughts anymore it’s more like false attraction/ intrusive feelings. please tell me someone else relates as i’ve been reading articles about p3dos and stuff as i thoight it would help me and it’s just triggerd me more and i cant even enjoy anything anymore as it’s all i can think about, i don’t ever want to be a p and it’s honestly the worst thing ever when will it all stop??

tw mentions of pocd a few days ago I has a really bad intrusive thought about my little brother and since then my ocd won't stop bringing it up,I really don't know what to do its like I can't even get close to my brother or be in the same room as him without ocd telling me i will do something bad to him. I'm really scared and I don't know what to do, I even had a dream about it. how do I stop this? why is that same thought not going away?

Is it soocd when i have had thoughts about three years, they are becoming worse and worse. I have "come out" My parents and i dont feel better. I think it about it 24/7 and it comes on my dreams. I avoid my friends and school. This makes me very anxious and depressed. When i am out or watch TV, i check that i don't find same sex attractive. I am also worried My bodyparts.(broad shoulders, fingers) I am scared that they mean something. I am scared that everyone know that i think about my sexuality and am unsure. I have never been attracted or crushed to girls. Only boys. BUT when i was little i was interested sex. And i watch a lot of videos of lesbians and just girls. So can this ne even hocd?

Hi everyone! I am new to all this and I am not really sure if I have OCD. But basically in elementary school a "friend" made an fb account on my name, with a picture of some girl in a bikini. Then I knew nothing about social media and I was naive. Since that profile i started obsessing about it, checking out if she deleted it all the tims, but back then I didn't gave much attention to it. Just recently, like a year ago when something happened that trigerred mw, I stareted searching my name on all social media platforms, looking for a fake account making fun of me. I am pretty rational and chill person and I can not connect this behaviour with my real self. Just that some kind of fear occupies my mind and I get info searching myself, If I have a bad day it might take an hour of just doing that. When I dont find anything I feel relly calm, but quick after that doubts start bombing my brain like "what if you missed it or what if you enter your name with one more letter, or a number". It escalated last year when I was home because of covid, I spent all my time doing that, stoped going out in a fear I will miss something out. This whole situation triggered me when a friend of mine found out she had a crazy ex that was secretly filming their home, and I started searching videos of me on innapropriate sites, in a fear of video of me changing my clothes and convincing myself that I look like someone on a random video, than I see that I dont and I feel better, but within a half an hour new ideas that it is me and i should check it out comes. It ruined my life, i stopped seeing people, trusting anyone etc. Part of me knows that all of this might be a trigger from that profile in elementar school but then my brain is pretty loud that I am only comforting and lieing myself by thinking that. I just cant connect me a really rational being that I know I am and then those thoughts. I start thinking am I right about them too. I couldnt find anyone experiencing something like that around me, so maybe I find someone here that can relate to it.