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last night someone told me intrusive thoughts were something you want to do, i cant stop overthinking about it now and my anxiety is through the roof i just wanna escape my own body.

I can’t handle the thought of being like this for life. Like what should I even do at this point if it’s going to be with me for life? I hope that it isn’t for life, because I’m screwed of it is…

Hi, very random theme need some guidance. Mature content below also. very lost and confused and need some guidance and help. Basically I’ve been questioning wether or not I want an open relationship and stuff. I got out of a relationships a few months ago and have sort of been obsessing about themes of ROCD since. Basically I started getting into themes of do I want a relationships and stuff and questioning people that cheat(I didn’t get cheated on but alot of people around me have cheated on their partner and it made me sad). Just made me start questioning monogamy and shit and wether stuff like that and if true love exists. Recently I started obsessing over open relationships as someone said if ur gonna cheat u might as well be in an open relationship and it feels like I have a desire to be in an open relationship. But I don’t want to want to be In an open relationships. It feel like my mind is tryna convince me Into it being a good idea. I’m tryna convince myself out of it. Cause I’m not to sure I like the idea of it as it feels more like a friends with benefits situation or sounds like it to me. But yeh It feels like it’s some wierd secret kink or what I truely desire but I don’t want it to be I don’t want it to be that. Firstly I get jealous when I’m into someone and other guys give them attention so yeh. But it feels like my mind is questioning it yes I believe sex and love aren’t the same thing. I keep getting thoughts about it and I’m anxious 24/7 about it. Legit only thing I’ve thought about for weeks. I don’t want to be into that stuff. I wanna build a life where I’m with a girl and I only see her for the rest of my life. I want that if it even exist where I look at a girl only only look at her. I keep trying to convince myself that open relationships are bad and stuff and convince myself that it’s not a desire but it feels like it’s a secret desire but I don’t want it to be I’ll do anything to not let it be. Could this be an OCD theme or is this Mabye soemthing I’m into or something I want. Cause I don’t want to want it, but it feels like I want/desire it. I don’t want to want that stuff I don’t want to be odd I also don’t want to be that guy that has a partner do that stuff, I also don’t want to want that so desperately like I so desperately don’t want to want that stuff. I know this is so random but yeh need opinions.

I'm currently on a break with my new partner of 3 months because I haven't been able to make them understand what my relapse has been like. What has the conversation around OCD been like for you and your partner? Do you give them resources? How much do you tell? Do you tell about triggers as they happen?

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago and I felt clear about the reasons and had talked it over with some people I trust. He’s just asked if I broke up with him because of my ocd and him asking that didn’t sit right with me. I don’t believe that it was because of my ocd but was that even a fair question for him to ask? I really don’t know so it’d be great to get some advice.

Hey guys, I get stuck in an OCD loop and it's pretty severe. I just want to know if anyone experiences it or if it's far more than OCD. I'm pretty much numb to thoughts by this point but they still happen and it's pretty annoying. So I have SOCD and I constantly stare at other females. It's not "oh are they pretty", no more like I'll picture them bending down and flashing their genitals then I get aroused and it's really annoying. It happens with EVERY female, not just "pretty people". I started fantazing about my 80 year old neighbor so nothing is off the table. I'm exhausted. All day it's genitals, focused ONLY on females. My brain wants to know every crease, every drop of dirt on their body ect. I hate that I think this way. I've also been in a relationship with my boyfriend whom in the past I've been very attracted to. I feel so numb around him, uncaring and not interested in him anymore. It all started with HOCD and ROCD and now it'd truly ruined my relationship. I'd like to think this isn't the end, I want to feel in love and happy again but I feel so hopless. I'm losing my mind. My thoughts are so troubling I don't know what to do anymore. I'm still in TOCD where it's trying to convince me I'm trans Eben though my whole life I never thought I was. I loved being female.now I have trouble dressing girly and looking at myself in the mirror because I'm "trans" and I don't look like a man. EVEN THOUGH IM NOT AND DONT WANT TO BE. It's horrifying but I'm starting to accept this must just be the new me and I guess I have to be a fucking guy now. I'm so lost. I constantly think I'm gay, I don't want to be, I've had plenty of crushes on men and I've been greatly in love with my boyfriend and I hope to be again. I just want this to stop, I don't even recognize myself anymore. I can't stay in the moment anymore, I'm always in my head. Please help I'm losing my mind.

I m convinced I have a blood clot in my brain I been getting headaches with dizziness and nausea at the same time I had it twice today :( felt like my blood pressure dropped and at the same time headaches dizziness nausea ;(

Hey guys, I am new to this whole OCD thing. And I'm honestly questioning if it is OCD. I am thinking that I am going insane. Or that I'm going crazy. My thoughts are getting so bad to the point that I just want to scream and punch something. My thoughts are getting bad to the point to where I question if I am going to become a serial killer or a murderer. I keep getting thoughts and images of hurting my boyfriend. It's tearing me up and I get these thoughts quite often. It's very distressing. It gives me so much anxiety and makes me feel like I cannot trust myself. I'm to the point where I'm scared of sleeping face to face with him because I don't want anything to happen. I take walks whenever I get these thoughts but even on the walks the thoughts continue. I just want them to go away. It feels like they are ruining me. And I am so afraid of snapping😭

So for years now hocd has haunted me. All I think about is my sexual orientation and it is infuriating. I just want to know if I’m bi and stop living in limbo all the damn time. Stuff keeps coming up from my past. I know I don’t want to be with women sexually or romantically but my brain convinces me I’m lying and in denial. I re-enacted certain scenes from lesbian porn when I was younger & one time when I was masturbating (tmi I know I’m sorry) I couldn’t get aroused by imagining having sex with a guy but with a woman I got aroused and had an orgasm almost immediately. It makes me feel like my whole life is a lie and I’m just imagining that I’m attracted to guys. Can anybody please tell me anything or give me advice I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like every time I’m doing well my brain digs up my past and calls me bi or that I like women and I’m in denial. But when I think about being with one it doesn’t feel right at all.

I haven’t started therapy yet waiting for insurance to go thru. I have had POCD intrusive thoughts about my kids. Well it’s targeted one of them the most. Today I had a thought of I wish she would die so I wouldn’t have these thoughts!!! My stomach is in knots and I am sick about it. Obviously I don’t wish that at all?! What is going on with me? Is she going to die because I thought that?! My mind won’t stop. I am having a lot anxiety and panic about this thought. Please help me!

For the longest time when I would see ads for help getting rid of OCD I would think to myself...Why would I ever want to get rid of it? It's my core driving force, it's doing things the right way the first time, it's self analysis for my own good, it's fixing things others don't care enough about to fix, it's strong work ethic, and how I show others I care by showing my effort, it's it's it's suddenly causing me to lose my job, it's making me unable to complete tasks in a timely manner, it's making me truly believe that my mental instability is due to the I competence of others and not my increasingly escalating requirements and standards turning everything into a procedure.

I don't believe in Spiritual Stuff or some kind of superstition things like there's one if your eye lid spasms then something good or bad might happen regarding to the side of the eye.. Now i never in my life believed in this kind of BS 😂😂 but it's now happening with me since a while that is whenever my right eye lid spasms that's it.... I definitely gonna be in some kind of trouble.. Or something bad just Happens.... And it's always like inevitable tho i get a signal of something might happen bad.... But still can't prevent it... Seems like it just was my ultimate fate and destiny... I can't fight it... And it's not even due to any medical reason as i do not get these spasms much.... These just occur at a significant time... Actually in time of my upcoming Trouble....And do not have any eye allergy or whatsoever... So i just wonder how my eyes even know what's gonna happen or not.... This is so Weird....

That’s it. That’s the post.

Something really been bothering . It’s about sex with my bf. I sometimes have worrying thoguhts wondering if certain things is considered r word . Either with him or me . The other night we were having s*x and ima just be straight up I wanted him to 👅 my butt and that’s what he did but then I wanted to turn around and do something else . But he held my butt and didn’t want me to cause I wanted to do another thing but he didn’t want to . I can’t rmeebr what I said but I let him continue . And then we did the other thing . No I keep wondering if that’s r word bc he held my butt and wouldn’t let me turn and I let him continue even tho I wanted to do something else . I can’t remember if I said stop but I was trying to turn around and he didn’t want me to by holding my butt . I don’t think it’s r word but what if it is . I feel like if ocd wasn’t bothering me it wouldn’t affect me that he did that . Cause I don’t really think it’s r word but what if it is . Someone please comment

If you’re afraid of feeling a certain way, you’re GOING to feel that way. That’s how the OCD works. If you’re afraid of feeling repulsed, you’ll feel repulsed. If you’re afraid of feeling aroused, you’ll feel aroused. If you’re afraid of feeling like you want to hurt someone, you will feel like you want to hurt someone. And it’ll feel real! Right now, I’m going through the “if you’re afraid of feeling repulsed when you touch them, you’ll feel repulsed when you touch them” with my partner. But I know that I’ve done this a million times before, and it felt real every time, and it wasn’t. When I was afraid I would feel disgusted by my partner’s chest, I felt disgusted. When I felt afraid I was losing my hearing, it literally felt like I was losing my hearing (and every single test would prove otherwise). At one point, I was even afraid that I would feel like I couldn’t recognize my partner’s face, and then I felt like I couldn’t. OCD is clever like that! Basically, think of it like this: “if you’re afraid of feeling _____, you will feel _____.” Right now, I just have to remember that every time I physically feel this intrusive repulsion I’m so afraid of, that it’s just my OCD trying to trick me.

Is it bad to get anxious about your partner

I'm so Disappointed With Myself....can't rectify and make things better no matter what happens....😔

do you guys create scenes in your head all day like me?? i can't do anything or pay attention to what i'm doing because i'm always creating false scenarios in my head or dealing with my compulsions or real event ocd...🧠!°○°○...

If you’re triggered by POCD please stop reading now. I (24F) am a daycare teacher, I have worked with kids (as a substitute or assistant) since 2018 and that’s when my POCD first started. Now I have my first real daycare teaching job and I’m the main educator in the room. In December of 2021 , I went through a stressful relationship and when I ended things, I was left in a pit of depression. This triggered a massive OCD spiral and I haven’t been quite the same since. I began to ruminate about past memories of innocent interactions I’ve had with children and my brain conjured up all these alternate scenarios that almost made me throw up. And I began to believe them. When it got too much and I felt like I had no will to be on this earth anymore ,I finally opened up to my mom and best friend who were so supportive. They encouraged me to seek therapy and I did with an OCD therapist and it’s been great. I’m writing because my job has been extremely triggering as of late. Especially diaper changes, I have all these strange thoughts and feelings that feel so real. I’m hyper aware of my hands and if they brush against the leg or any body part I internally freak out , and once I’m home I ruminate and cry. I get so wound up in my thoughts I convince myself I did it on purpose and must be jailed. Recently I had one of the children on my lap while I helped her put on her shoes. I put my hands under her armpits to steady her and my mind felt it was too close to her chest/nipples so I adjusted my hands away. I had a sick thought that I enjoyed having my hands there and immediately had a wave of anxiety in my stomach. I put on her shoes and put her down. I haven’t stopped thinking about this encounter and I’ve been crying for a while about it today. Another thing I am struggling with is that I willingly watched a scene from “the perks of being a wallflower” when the young boy is being sexually abused by his aunt. A clip came on tiktok (not that scene) and I remembered the movie as I watched it years ago. I thought “oh that’s the movie where the boy gets abused by his aunt”. For some reason, I felt compelled to watch it , specifically that part. I typed in the movie name on YouTube and a scene with that part immediately was the first result. I clicked on it and watched it , about halfway I started to feel scared and was about to pause it and click off. But I knew it wouldn’t be graphic as I’ve watched it before so I continued, I felt sick. I was comparing myself to the aunt , looking for similarities in our looks and thinking about if I’ve ever said anything like she was saying (“this our little secret”) to the children in my classroom. I don’t know why I wanted to see that clip , but I did. I believe my life is over because of this, I can’t quit my job because I need the money but I don’t know how I can go back to work on Monday. Please , can someone talk to me or give advice , I just really want to talk to someone.

TLDR; Almost full remission does exist! Hello everyone! So I know we use this to share and express our feelings and when we’re struggling, but I also think it might be helpful to talk about what we have accomplished in time! 10 years ago was when my OCD full on started and the main category I was dealing with was POCD (pedophilic). As someone who had never heard of OCD, when it first started happening I was in such shame I didn’t let anyone in and suffered in silence and attempted many times, not because I wanted to die but because I didn’t know how to ask for help. Through finally opening up with my loved ones, to a bit of medication, and some therapy it DID go away. Can it come back at some point? Yeah of course, but I never thought years of not having these thoughts or triggers could ever happen to me. I don’t remember the exact date, but it’s been at least 4-5 years now without dealing with this. What helped me the most was something i read about the concept of relapsing. Relapsing (for us relapsing looks like intrusive thoughts/compulsions) is going to happen on the way to recovery. It’s not about if you relapse, it’s about the amount of time in BETWEEN that shows your growth. I went from having these thoughts from all day, to every other day, to once a week, to once a month, once every three months, once every six, etc. Please don’t ever be mad at yourself or feel hopeless when a relapse happens, just let it go and remember the time in between ❤️ I still get OCD “episodes” in my life but they usually change topics and have nothing to do with POCD. Right now I’m dealing with ROCD which don’t get me wrong is annoying as hell, but remembering how I got over that time in my life gives me hope. Sending y’all lots of love ❤️